Step 17: Bugging Out (Patreon)

Step 17: Bugging Out

“Alright, that’s enough dilly-dallying. I ain’t got that much time left on this Earth, so let’s get down to business.” Kurt lived up to his namesake and demanded our visitors share their quest before they could even finish licking their bowls. “What’s got that fogey Oak intruding on you young ones, that he couldn’t make the trip down to meet me himself?”

Brock, ever polite and forever perverted, reached into his pants and pulled out a ball. Mercifully for April’s continued innocence, he pulled it out of his pocket and not his scrotum. “We have a bit of mystery on our hands surrounding this special pokeball.”

Everyone around the table, mons included, leaned curiously as Brock presented and placed the ball in the middle of the table.

Pointy noses reflected off the glistening golden top half as it rested on its shiny silver bottom. An almost glyph-like GS carved into its sturdy metallic shell. “The GS ball.” Ash helpfully supplied. “We got it off professor Ivy-”

“-Oh professor Ivy!” Brock unhelpfully fantasized

“Quiet, you! We don’t need you drooling over someone who isn’t even here right now!” Thwack! And Misty violently capitalized.

“Yeah, anyway, so professor Oak and Ivy both have been trying to pry this ball open. They said it’s been shut for ages and no one can figure out why. Which is sorta why we’re here. They said you’re the expert on pokeballs and might be able to help unlock it.” Kurt reached over and picked it up as Ash gave him the rundown. “If I’m honest, I’m super curious, too. I’ve been looking after it for so long, I’m just itching to find out what Pokemon’s trapped in there!”

“Might seem a bit callow to ask, but if there was a pokemon stuck I stasis inside this thing, is there any chance it’s still alive?” It was a valid question, in my opinion. Though I had a strong hunch what was likely in there, a little encouragement for my optimistic hopes is never amiss.

Kurt hefted it in his hand, weighed it, and knocked at it with his knuckle. He brought it up to his nose, gave it a judicious sniff, but stopped just short of having a taste test. Good to know he wasn’t interested in the flavour of lint and pennies - would’ve put a serious dent in my cuisine oriented self image. “Well, if there’s anything that’s survived inside here without release for this long, it’s gotta have a powerful life force.”

“So what’s the verdict, sir? Think you can get it open?” Brock bore a last bare-knuckle box from Misty and asked his question through swollen cheeks.

Tossing the ball in the air, Kurt stood up, caught it, and beckoned everyone to follow. “I don’t know. But we’ll just have to take a crack at it, won’t we? You two are helping,” Kurt informed April and I that we’d not have the luxury of a post lunch siesta. How kind of him. “Stop being slowpokes and get your butts in shift gear.” 

“Okay, Grandpa!” April immediately hopped up onto her feet.

I rose up right behind her, too. “Let’s get Varoom’d up.” When I did so, I couldn’t resist clamping my fists around the base of her pigtails and revving her up like a pair of handlebars.

“Brrrm!” She took it in two-wheeled stride and peddled ahead to the workstation.

“Alright, let’s go down the checklist and see if you’ve been paying attention to my lessons. What’s the first thing we should try to do to open a stuck ball?” Kurt plonked the ball on an anvil. The clue was obvious. 

“Pound it!” April slipped out of my grip and used her own on her hammer. “Hi-yah!” She swung it to the shocked exclamations of the trio. 

“Wait! You’re gonna-!” Kathunk! “Break it?” There were a few sparks, and my ears were still ringing, but in spite of Ash’s initial worry, not a single scratch or dent on the ball. 

Funnily enough, no one questioned a tiny slip of a girl being able to wield that massive thing she had. But then again, not overly surprising considering we had Ash. Kid could lift everyone in the house at the same time, if he tried hard enough, probably.

Rubbing his chin, Kurt once again palmed the ball. “Hmm. Too bad.”

“It is?” Instead of answering my question, Kurt closed his eyes, cradled the ball between both his hands, and concentrated. 

The hairs on my arm spiked. There wasn’t a convenient glow to signal it, but that unmistakable swell of aura emanated from Kurt. Ash and Misty looked confused at what he was doing, while April and I were more in tune given our training. Pikachu could sense it, if his twitching tail was any indication. Brock’s focus on Kurt’s invisible power also clued me into his level of familiarity with aura. 

“Yes. It makes things complicated,” Kurt grumbled; less at me and more at the effort he was pouring into what he was doing to the GS ball. “This might take me a while to get any results.” Then he whispered under his breath, “if I can get any results at all, that is.”

“Any way I can provide assistance?” A solution was slowly piecing itself in my head. If Kurt remained unable to coax out what I surmised was inside, I had a potential solution ready to go. 

“No, no. Rare that I get challenges anymore. I’m gonna put my attention on this until I’ve exhausted all my options. Why don’t you kids do what you’re meant to?” 

“Yay!” April barely got one foot off the floor before Kurt put the brakes on her. 

“Not you, girly. Got some family tricks I’m gonna have to use. Now’s as good a time as any to show you.”

“Awww…” Despite the pout and sulky expression, April dutifully went to her grandfather’s side.

While being lower on the Xatu-headed totem pole meant I was assigned the grunt work. “Uki, go show the kids around town. Maybe make up for your manners, eh?” Which in this case meant babysitting, as he shooed us away. 

I didn’t even have time to wear my shoes properly before we were tossed out under the sun. A sigh escaped my lips, which was unceremoniously blown back in my face by the puff of air caused by the manor door slamming shut. 

While the rest of us were still reeling, Ash stayed steadfastly unbothered. “Alright! Let’s head straight to the Azalea gym! That badge is mine!” He punched the air with his usual enthusiasm, as if the battle was a foregone conclusion. 

“Yeah, I’d hold my Horseas, if I were you.” Kneeling down, I started tying my laces. “Bugsy’s not around. He’s out in the forest dealing with the aftermath of that big earth shake last week. Wrecked a bunch of the surrounding habitats, and now they’ve got bug swarms all over. He’s helping league rangers quell it.” 

Misty’s face paled, and us three guys could practically trace the pincers of the imaginary Spinarak crawling over her skin in a wave of goosebumps. “So, what, he just abandoned his gym? How irresponsible! Neglecting his duties like that? This place is already crawling with bugs, and now we have to wait around because he can’t manage his time? Ugh! This is the worst! ”

Brock turned to her - mostly for our benefit, I imagine, because I doubt anyone would be able to if he tried to side-eye. “Isn’t that exactly what you did?” He craned his torso back with the same speed she whipped furious glare at him. “Hey, I’m just saying. Chances are, your field trip away from Cerulean is running a lot longer than his will.”

“Is that right, Mr. Responsibility?” In retaliation for his astute observation, Misty pointed a finger right back at Brock. “Don’t even start! What about you? How many trainers have been banging on the Pewter gym doors while you’re out here playing wilderness survivalist with us?”

Before their bickering could get fully under way, I stepped in and placed a hand on each of their shoulders. “It’s okay, guys. Let’s call it even. You’re both equally deadbeats.” Never said I was gonna help, though. 

I’m sure both or either were ready with a snappy comeback on their lips, but Ash’s motormouth was first off the line. “If we can’t battle Bugsy, maybe we can use the time to train? Pikachu and the rest of my team are always up for practice!” Ash, predictably blind to the tension, latched on to his inherent battle instinct. 

I gave a final pat to Brock and Misty - realizing too late I’d accidentally rubbed some of the grime from my laces on them. Quickly hiding my hands behind my back, I stepped away and rode Ash’s wave of obliviousness with feigned enthusiasm. “You know what, Ash? That’s a great idea. I’ll even do you one better, as an official apology for my less than stellar welcome towards you guys, how’s about I make amends by teaching a Pokemon of your choice for each of you a single move - for free!” Now, normally, operating at a loss isn’t something I’d do. But the way I saw it, having two renowned gym leaders, as well as a trainer notorious for reaching the highest stage of battling in every Pokemon region’s respective conferences, would only make business boom. 

While I internally drooled over my future career exploding with the identical force of a volatile Voltorb, Ash - bless him - lit up like a Litwick. “Really? That’s awesome!” Pikachu’s ears twitched in excitement, already sparking in agreement.

Misty crossed her arms and cocked her suspender-clipped hips. Her tone dripped with skepticism as she brushed aside my generous offer. “Please. What would a ball maker know about battling or training?”

I quickly corrected her. “Ball maker in-training, thank you very much! And besides, I’m just learning from Kurt as a side hustle. My day job’s actually being a move tutor.”

A fleshy stamp of Brock’s fist hitting his palm drew our attention to him. “Wait a minute, I knew I recognized your name! Guys, don’t you remember that radio show we caught a while back? He’s that move tutor that had Oak mentioned!” His outburst reminded me I had my own Ivy to reach out to. Her endorsement was still paying dividends, apparently.

“Oh, yeah! Falkner wouldn’t stop squawking about you either! He really, really gave me a tough fight because of you - it was loads of fun!” I’d consider thanking Falkner too if I didn’t know for a fact that he’d do anything not to hear from me ever again. Still, Ash’s eagerness was good for my ego.

“That was you!?” Misty’s incredulous realization was just as affirming.

“Guilty as charged!” I was really feeling myself; my sudden good mood almost made me brush the metaphorical dirt off my shoulder. However, I remained keenly aware of the actual dirt I’d smeared on my companions. So, shrewdly stayed my hands for fear of them finding out. “And don’t worry about being charged. Pretty girls get a pretty hefty discount from me.” Rubbing them on each other, like the sleazy salesman that I was, instead.

“A man after my own heart!” No guesses who said that.

“Hmph!” Misty’s previously pallid pigment shifted a little pinker at my proclamation. “Well, I can’t argue if you’re willing to go that far…” 

“Woo-hoo! I know just the Pokemon I want you to teach, then.” Ash reached for his belt and released his Cyndaquil, who promptly thrust its snout in the breeze, sniffing the fresh scents as soon as it completely coalesced from the beam of red energy. “Caught this fella here pretty recently, and he’s the perfect guy to use against Bugsy.”

The Cyndaquil flared the flames on its back and puffed out a few peppery breaths in greeting to its new environment. It was cute, and a solid choice for a type match-up. But I was also acutely cognizant of the fact that Ash and his Pokemon had a penchant for going overboard, which wasn’t conducive to this quaint little town’s continued existence. Recalling just how voraciously the townsfolk had chased off the false prophet cum entrepreneur for causing a minor disturbance, I urgently ushered the crew out the nearest gate. “Sounds like a plan. Ilex forest is just through here. It’ll give us some more space to practice.” And plausible deniability should something happen.