Gallows Humors, Gallows Duties Ch 5 (Patreon)

And this is Chapter 5, the full of what's written to date. Once I have a third one to show y'all, I'll put it up and start linking Ko-Fi and whatnot.

For now, hope you liked this one. I'mma get back to trying to write Kaiju Slaying.

Have a good one, and lemme know if you liked! 8D

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Thank whatever gods cared to listen that this week was a long weekend.

Sunday evening, I had done what I probably should have taken care of the moment I arrived to the world, and looked up mostly current events to try and figure out if I knew what specific permutation of DC I was in.

Apparently, the Injustice League had attacked the whole world with giant plant monsters a few years back, and something about…aliens trying to freeze the Earth?

There was speculation that it was in fact ice themed supervillains, but a lot of people said aliens on account of the flying fortresses.

A less popular article spoke of how Kid Flash had carried a heart for transplant across the country for a Queen Perdita Vladek of Vlatava.

I had vague recollections of a show Prime Me had liked a lot that followed those plot lines, but as I recalled, Jason Todd had died in the time skip between seasons one and two.

And it wasn’t until Season Two that the Reach extended their cockroachy little talons toward Earth.

Meaning I had some time, but chances were there were multiple alien species infiltrating Earth even now. Because, if things had gone here like in the show, the Justice League had been mind whammied and sent to wreak havoc in a major trade center somewhere in the galaxy.

Planting the seeds for making humanity the center of the next galactic arms race.

As the weapons to be mass manufactured.

Unfortunately, my recollection became vague after that, but I had a feeling that Darkseid was involved somehow. Meaning I, hopefully, had a few years to prepare for my confrontation with the fucker.

I was going to blow up his planet to space dust.

While I pondered on the many benefits of malicide on an industrial scale, I felt Angela’s mind enter my range of awareness.

She was exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically from a hard shift at the hospital. There had been a drive-by and numerous innocents got riddled with bullets. Had she used her nano biology and Caduceus Staff, she would have finished much earlier.

But she stuck to the mundane way of doing things in the name of secrecy.

Nonetheless, there were a number of children that, barring a miracle or my permission to revolutionize the local field of medical cybernetics, would never walk again.

Well, she certainly wasn’t going to get that permission. If I let that genie out of the bottle Lex Luthor would weaponize it faster than I could sneeze. If I recalled correctly, he already had a secretary with a rudimentary pulse rifle in her arm. I shuddered to imagine what he would do with the tech Angela could unleash.

Angela staggered into the house and made a beeline for the couch, where she flopped face down and groaned. She looked like, for all she cared, her blouse and jeans could literally catch fire and she’d be too tired to do anything about that fact.

Well, she was my woman. It was therefore my duty to help her relax.

Without a word, I used Sleipnir to float over, then I stretched out my arms and wiggled my fingers.

“Hard day at work?” I asked rhetorically, Angela mumbled something into the couch. “Don’t worry Angela.” I said as I laid my hands on her back, making her twitch in surprise. “I’ve gotchu.”

“What do y—?” She cut off and moaned as I pressed down on her lower back and dragged my thumbs up the sides of her spine, the muscles of her back bunching and fighting back, but unable to stand up to the inexorable pressure I brought to bear.

And then Sticky Fingers started offering suggestions.

As her spine creaked and crackled, forcefully realigning as I pressed down and massaged away hours of stress and stale adrenaline, I pressed down on pressure points that I would have otherwise been unaware of. Making Angela lose her breath, gasp, or moan.

She began to wriggle beneath my palms, her ears bright red as I worked. Her mind locked in indecision as half of it screamed at her to make me stop, the other half begging to keep going.

I continued to work over her back, doing small realignments. Then with a rather loud crack, straightened her spine, removing the slight scoliosis and making her shriek in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

She then did her best to melt into the couch and passed out.

I gave her cute, tight derriere an affectionate pat, went back to my apartment, changed into my work clothes, and left through the portal I’d set at the Cauldron, in Old Gotham.

My current plan was to attempt to, for the most part, enter and leave a city wherever there’s been the most deaths. It would hopefully confuse Batman or convince him of my story of being a fully-fledged psychopomp.

And while I technically was a Psychopomp, I currently only had the first step on that path. Which made me barely a Soul Reaper. I didn’t have the Credits to get any farther and still set myself up for quick growth. Or purchase Reinforce and the Tome.

As I flew, I took a few moments to mourn my Golden Ticket.

But it had been the price to get out of Class A without centuries of servitude. So it was worth it.

Besides, there were some investment opportunities I was keeping an eye on. Once I Stamped some more of the Justice League and extended to them my Talents and Defenses, I’d have enough Credits for seed money. It should let me (eventually) pay off my Contract and leave me with Credits besides.

Oh yeah, everything is turning out Alex.

‘We are nearly there, Master.’ Reinforce said, flashing my vision with a small red light.

I blinked and looked down in the direction she pointed. I had, indeed, reached Gotham Memorial while thinking of my plans.

Really should be more careful about that.

I reached out to the minds around me and made them ignore me.

Very nifty trick that, I could see why the Emperor had been such a big fan of it. The door to the roof was locked, but reaching into the locking mechanism with a bit of Telekinesis was all that was needed to unlock the door with a quiet ‘click.’

Once inside I looked around, the occasional person bouncing off me and, upon realizing they were ‘alone,’ and had bounced off ‘nothing,’ very adroitly rationalized whatever had happened and walked on.

The ones who brushed against the feathers of my Sleipnir spell were more interesting, they shuddered and rubbed arms suddenly turned to gooseflesh. One woman even muttered about someone walking on her grave.

Cute.

I found the area that radiated the most despair, I would swear I could taste it in the air past my mask’s filter. There were multiple nurses muttering angrily, I didn’t blame them. I had a feeling that Batman would make some thugs wish they were dead before he ended his anti-crime rampage.

I felt a weird bump in my psychic awareness, closer inspection showed a complex mind, but one that thought in instinct and movement.

Atavistic and primal, it was the type of mind that would suit impulse to action, without the hurdle of ‘conscious thought’ getting in the way. The mind was simple in the way a knife is simple. But what the mind radiated most was kindness and empathy to the suffering around it, as well as a poised readiness to protect.

It was not directly aware of me, but it knew something was where I stood, and was ready to attempt to intervene.

Huh, not a human mind, akin more to an extremely intelligent service dog. I’d have to keep an eye out for it, they deserved some head scritches.

Still, nobody stopped me as I made my way to the room, there was quiet weeping, the kind that was quiet more due to exhaustion, than a lack of feeling or emotional control.

Well, probably better to start with someone sleeping. I’d gotten some practice with Overhaul while I did my Reaping yesterday but if I didn’t have the ability to resurrect anyone I killed on accident? I would not be doing this until I had a better grasp of the Quirk.

Probably best to make sure they’re asleep before I made the attempts. Can’t have the trauma of experiencing their death if they were asleep at the time.

With a minor effort of will, I used my psychic power to flick the biological switch for them to fall asleep.

Moving to the first kid who had been crippled, I laid a hand on his head and considered how to go about this. Controlling Overhaul was like controlling any part of my body, a mixture of instinct and practice.

I’d already used Overhaul to leave behind a prettier corpse for the scumbag’s family, a kindness I’d done the prospective Agent because, for all his faults, he’d kept up a façade for his loved ones.

I’d also used it to turn the fat wannabe serial murderer into so much organic dust.

What I wanted to do now was more the former than the latter, but Psychic Talent was as bullshit as it said on the tin, that little practice I’d done was enough to give me a fairly detailed, if still somewhat basic, understanding of how to use the Quirk.

Intent was important. So, if I wanted to heal this kid painlessly…I hit him with a dash of Overhaul…and he died.

Huh.

Breaking down what happened…I concentrated a bit too much on the painless bit and should have had a dash more control of the Quirk’s activation.

I absently shut off the machine’s shrill screeching, it made it difficult to think.

“What’s going on?” Asked a boy next to me. The very same boy who lied dead on the bed in front of me.

[Never you mind.] I said, grabbed the soul by the scruff of the neck, shoved it back into the body, and resurrected him. He woke up gasping as nurses ran in.

I moved on to the next kid, keeping a closer eye on the way the Quirk ran through them aaaaand she died. I’d kept too much control and had broken an important artery because I couldn’t keep up.

I gave the body another bit of Overhaul to fix everything bad, snatched the crying soul by the arm, told her not to be a baby about this, shoved her back in her body and resurrected her.

She woke up and started crying. I swear, some people.

After the third one died and subsequently woke up cured, the nurses were very confused.

I finally got the hang of what I was doing by the final kid who didn’t even wake up. That felt like a job well done, but I didn’t want this last kid to feel left out or for some idiot to target the child because they thought he was special. So I killed him, told his soul that he needs to stop ingesting trash and start eating healthy, all that junk food and sodas were going to kill him. Then shoved the pudgy soul back into the pudgy body and resurrected him.

I left feeling good, job well done, I heard one of the kids describing the scary owl fire-skelly-man who told them to stop crying and get back up. Then a lot more voices picking up and joining that developing debacle.

Hmmm…might as well clear out the cancer ward while I was here.

Fuck cancer.

As it turned out, removing leukemia all at once without actively transforming all that biomatter back into healthy bone marrow…is bad for the body. The more you know.

[I did not just kill the cancer in you to let your wimpy ass get pulled under by its death throes.] I told the emaciated soul as it looked around in amazement. [Get some protein and join a gym. I recommend kickboxing.]

I left that kid gasping awake as I moved to the next one, who also died when dissolving the cancer also dissolved their lymph nodes and a section of their vena cava.

[I swear, people aren’t supposed to be this fiddly!] I groused as I snatched up the kid and shoved her back in her body.

The third one had malignant metastasized tumors, and when they were Overhauled away…she died.

[For Fuck’s Sake!]

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[Rassin frassin cancer, rassin frassin shock and bullshit. Rassin frassin ungrateful people.] I muttered as I walked out of the front doors of the Metropolis Memorial General Hospital; and wasn’t that a mouthful.

I’d run out of hospitals in Gotham and hadn’t gotten a success in removing cancer without killing the patient. So I went to Bludhaven, and failed there as well.

So I ranged farther.

By the time I got the first success, there were many cities and towns who no longer had cancer patients, and I realized I had not exactly been subtle.

Fuck me I’m an idiot when I get tunnel vision.

So after that I ranged even farther, did a good chunk in Mexico and Canada, teleported to Japan and did the same there. I tried China, but some asshats with magic martial arts attacked me, so they are the reason why the Chinese don’t get to have nice things.

Bright side, I was now quite experienced at using Overhaul to heal, and even using it to resurrect someone who was recently dead, without tapping into my power as a psychopomp.

Cling to the bright sides, they’re what keep you going.

I took off flying, heading to the area of most death, which for Metropolis was actually a hospital, specifically one that specialized in cancer research.

Which I’d already visited.

Man, if I didn’t have a psychic ‘see me not’ field ongoing, that would be so awkw—

Holy Black of the Popo!

I turned my gaze in the direction of the decidedly non-human mind that was making its way t— and it’s here. Lil’ Rein squeaked and fell over in surprise at the suddenness of my guest’s arrival. She beat her tiny wings furiously to regain control of her flight and ran away to the opposite corner of my vision.

Superman was flying next to me, his mind less disciplined than Wonder Woman’s, but strong enough to resist the psychic effect, if only just enough for him to see a vague outline of my body.

My soft, squishy body.

Which he could crush like soft boiled egg.

‘Rein, teleport us out of here first chance you get, make the prep invisible.’ I said to Reinforce telepathically, barely able to maintain the sheer panic I felt in check. Lil’ Rein nodded, closed her eyes, and created magic circle around her, a countdown appearing above her head.

I stopped, not having to account for constantly changing coordinates in relation to the planet’s gravity well would make things faster for Rein.

Superman reacted to my stopping so quickly, it looked simultaneous.

Note to self, get some fucking kryptonite.

“Well howdy, you must be this Owl Man I’ve heard so much about.” The Man of Fuckmothering Steel said with a friendly tone.

I did as my ‘unplanned for encounters 101’ instructor said; Refuge in audacity.

[I am not an owl, and only tangentially may I be called a man.] I said, mentally bidding Rein to hurry up. She opened one eye and gave me a disdainful glance, the counter above her head pausing until she closed her eye again.

Message received; I stopped distracting her.

“Oh?” Superman said. “Well, just wanted to thank you, a lot of folks are very thankful to you for what you’ve been doing.”

[I upheld my Duty.] I stated, saying the first mysterious thing that came to mind. [Gratitude is inconsequential.]

Superman raised an eyebrow. “And what is this duty of yours?”

The countdown above Rein let me time my parting remark perfectly before I teleported. [To shepherd those who have passed, to protect the balance, to punish those who do dishonor the cleansing cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth.]

“That…” Superman began, and my surroundings flickered as Rein teleported me to Japan.

[Oh thank fuck.] I said, slumping and needing to use the wall to support myself. I was officially done with today.

I opened a portal to my apartment, took off my gear and armor, and went home. I immediately sprawled on the couch, to dickens with today.

I had failed to notice due to all the timezones that I went through today, but it was late and I got so caught up in mastering the healing aspect of Overhaul that I’d skipped lunch.

Me, who literally had ‘summon sandwich’ as one of my superpowers.

Fuck me.

“Oh, you’re back.” I looked up at the sound of Nana’s voice, as was her custom on days off, she was dressed in comfy pajama pants and a loose tee.

I sat up in the couch as she continued. “Angela had to go out, some situation at the hospital. The news were freaking out about some new metahuman infiltrating the hospital and running wild.”

“Yeah, that was me.” I said, standing up and stretching. “I needed to practice one of my powers that can be used for healing, so I healed the kids what got hurt on the drive by, then cleaned out the cancer ward. Because fuck cancer.”

I summoned a soda, smacked the metal cap off with a flick of telekinesis, and sipped it. Body Defense pinged me, informing me it was blocking the effects of small amounts of cocaine.

Looking at the bottle I was drinking from, it was Coca Cola, manufactured in 1893.

Huh. I probably could have sold this to a collector for a pretty penny.

Eh, no use crying over spilled drug-laced sugar-water.

I drained the soda. Looking over at Nana, who was looking at me weird.

“I thought you said you were going to keep a low profile.” She said accusingly.

I sighed. “I may have gotten a small case of tunnel vision after I saw how the drive-by affected Angela. But it’s fine, my identity is safe, and my powers are versatile enough that I can create multiple vigilante identities if needed.”

Nana crossed her arms, the effect that pose had on her breasts drew my eye inexorably to them. “I thought you said we’d go out together.”

“For doing vigilante work, yes.” I said, tossing my glass bottle and guiding it to the recycling trashcan with telekinesis. “But in my duties as a psychopomp? I doubt that is something you want to be a part of. Not to mention, while you will be an invaluable sparring partner, I do believe healing is not among the things you could teach me.”

Nana scowled, clearly coming up with more arguments.

I put a stop to that in the best way possible. By stepping into her personal space and kissing her, taking hold of the back of her head so she couldn’t retreat, and pressing her body against mine via a hand on her wonderfully toned ass.

She struggled at first, but between Sticky Fingers and my ability to psychically read her every reaction she tried to hide, it was not long before she melted into my embrace.

And soon after that, I had her bent over the kitchen table, her shirt bunched up around her neck, her pajamas and underwear down by her ankles. Pressing her face down against the table with one hand on the back of her head, while the other worked on her clit and pussy.

I ignored her struggles and pleas to stop, she could, after all, call on One-For-All at any time and put a stop to what I was doing, and a quick peek into her mind showed that the struggle between actually getting me to stop and begging me to keep going was mostly being won by the side that drove her to instinctively thrust her hips back against my hand. I sped up and brought her to a quick orgasm, then dropped my pants, pressed the head of my cock to her entrance, and unceremoniously hilted myself in her warm and moist quim.

Nana moaned, her velvet walls caressing me as I ground the head of my cock against her deepest point. I pulled her head up by the hair and pressed my soaked fingers against her lips.

“Clean them.” I demanded. Her mind flared with disgust, but as I tightened my grip on the back of her head, she relented and took my fingers into her mouth, licking them clean of her essence.

Once she was done, I pulled her head up and twisted it so I could kiss her, enjoying the taste of her cunt on her tongue, and moved my recently cleaned hand to play with her clit as I began to pump in and out of her at a steady rhythm.

I didn’t bother to hold myself back. The pressure in my groin grew quickly and I buried myself as far as Nana could take me as I came. She shuddered as I spilled myself inside her, then moaned as I worked faster on her clit until she came, I shuddered as her walls milked my oversensitive cock, then she collapsed bonelessly on the table.

I lay on top of her as the two of us tried to catch our breaths, still buried balls deep in her quim. I lightly bit her ear and whispered into it. “We either continue here or in your bed.”

Nana shuddered and mewled. A large part of her getting off on how forceful I was being. Probing a little deeper, I found memories of peculiar videos she enjoyed watching whenever she needed some relief.

It appeared that Nana had a bit of a defeated superheroine fetish.

Today was a good day.

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Image of the build till Ch 5