Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 19 (Patreon)

Woweee, this one was a doozy to write I'll tell you hwat.

Also one of the chapters I'm most nervous of, because it's an attempt to tackle the more...out there bits of Evangelion in way that that's still entertaining.

We will see how successfully I did that. Do let me know with a like or a comment.

Here is the chapter, hope you enjoy!

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15 Hours 58 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

I leaned back against the seat of the Entry Plug, staring out into the white nothingness all around Evangelion Unit 01.

“Well.” I said with a huff. “That could have gone better.”

37 Hours Ago. Location: NERV HQ, Synchronization Testing Facility

[Type-B harmonics test, results nominal.]

[Adjustment values are all green.]

Misato yawned, listening to the results being called out for the test on the three Pilots’ synchronization with half an ear.

The Marduk Institute, the selection committee that screened the global population for potential Evangelion Pilots was a sham, a front, a façade. It was over a hundred shell corporations used to launder money and funnel funding into NERV’s coffers, amounts that dwarfed even the gargantuan sums that NATO provided.

“Pardon me for saying ma’am.” Hyuga said out of nowhere, looking up from his station. “But you seem really tired today.”

Misato gave him the most confident smile she could. It felt like a sickly thing dying on her face. “Stuff happens you know? Outside of work.”

“Kaji stuff?” Ritsuko asked with her trademark infuriating tiny smirk.

“Shaddap!” Misato snapped and turned back to the screen showing the three Pilots. “Anyway, how are the Children doing?”

Ibuki leaned back with a smile and nodded at her screen. “Here, have a look.”

Misato leaned over her shoulder to look at the screen, where she saw a graph which showcased three lines. Two of those lines had valleys and peaks, rising and falling, ranging from as little as forty-three percent, to as high as eighty-two. The third line, in contrast, was a plateau, rising up to ninety-six percent and remaining there, rock steady.

Ibuki swelled up with pride, a big smile on her face that made Misato worry a little bit. “As expected, Shinji has the best synchronization rate of the three. It hasn’t dipped once since the test began.”

Misato grunted. “I wonder if he’d feel happy to know that he’s doing well. Though I probably shouldn’t tell him.”

“You think praise will get to his head?” Ritsuko asked, jotting something down quickly on her clipboard.

Misato scowled. “I think he’ll just grunt and not care.”

“Well, only one way to find out.” Ritsuko said, going back to her clipboard.

“Easy for you to say.” Misato muttered. She debated letting him know, then decided to run an experiment. “Hey, Ibuki, let Shinji know he’s doing the best on this test as well.”

Ibuki blinked. “Me, ma’am?”

“Yup.” She said, and opened a comm-line to Pilot 01.

“Wha!?” Ibuki yelped.

One of the screens showed Shinji, arms crossed, eyes closed, his breathing slow and steady. Most likely having recovered from the last time he got hurt piloting the EVA. While Ibuki was looking about like a deer in the headlights, Shinji opened one eye and seemed to stare back from the other side of the screen.

[What is it?]

“Oh! H-Hey, Shinji. Just uhh…just wanted to let you know you’re doing the best out of everyone in the test!”

Shinji opened his other eye. “Is that so?”

“Yeah! By as much as fourteen percent!”

Shinji blinked. “Huh, neat. Thanks for letting me know.”

“Of course!”

The communication channel was cut, and Ibuki leaned back into her chair with a sigh, then pouted at Misato. “Ma’am, please don’t spring that on me! I was so nervous I almost stuttered!”

“Almost?” Hyuga asked with a grin, only for Ibuki to stick her tongue out at him.

“Honestly? You probably did better than I would have.” Misato muttered, looking at the readout for Pilot 01, both Rei and Asuka’s synchronization had dipped as Maya had informed them of Shinji’s primacy in the test, breaking their concentration, Asuka’s more so than Rei’s.

Shinji’s had remained at exactly ninety-six percent.

Ritsuko assured her that Shinji’s history of insanely high synchronization rates were due to a combination of adrenaline and desperation, along with quite a bit of talent on his part.

But she had a nagging feeling that her friend was keeping things from her.

Again.

35 Hours 22 Minutes Ago. Location: NERV HQ, Elevators

She wasn’t the best.

That was a truly bitter pill to swallow.

Asuka Langley Soryu, once known as humanity’s greatest hope for survival. Was second fiddle to a dumb boy with muscles where his brain was supposed to be.

She’d known his numbers were better than hers. He had more solo-kills on Angels, after all.

But fourteen percent.

Fourteen.

Percent.

Ikari Shinji was, at base, worth 1.14 Asuka Langley Soryus. That was not counting his historic two-hundred-and-thirty percent synchronization. The only Pilot in history to have reached such a high synchronization percentage and lived without severe consequences.

If you included those, one Ikari Shinji was worth almost three Asuka Langley Soryus.

“What crawled up your ass and died?” He asked suddenly, giving her the side-eye.

Rather than the scathing retort that should have come out, what she said was. “Why do you pilot the Eva?”

She met his stare evenly, as both him and the First Children looked at her consideringly.

Shinji sighed. “You know, if it were anyone else asking, I’d tell them ‘Because it’s a job’ and leave it at that.” He twisted his head, his neck eliciting several loud popping sounds. “But being honest? It needs to be done, and someone else might get it wrong.” He gave her a wolfish grin. “The exorbitantly high salary is a very nice bonus though.”

Asuka scoffed.

At least he wasn’t a braggart.

Still, she refused to be left in his dust.

21 Hours 15 Minutes Ago. Location: Ikari Shinji’s Apartment

“Bam-bam-bam bam-bam bam-bam, bam-bam-bam bam-BAM! Mister Sandmaaaaaan, bring me a dreaaaaam! Make him the cutest, that I’ve evah seeeeeen!”

Rei watched as Shinji’s massive form performed a crude dance in front of the stove as he sang off-beat in English, feeling…something. Elation mixed with a bubbly feeling.

“Give him two lips, like roses and CLOVAH! And tell ‘im that his lonely nights are OVAH!” He sang, giving the pan he wielded a shake, then flipping the pancake he was making. It settled back with a slight hissing sound, its top a mixture of browns and whites. “Saaaandmaaaaaan! I’m so a-LOOOOOONE! Don’t have no-BODY to call mah-OWN!”

He was wearing a brown apron with the words ‘Don’t Kiss The Cook’ written on it in English, the word ‘Don’t’ crossed out.

“Something something MAGIC BEAAAAAAAAANS!”

Rei smiled and drank her tea, as her Shinji amused himself while making pancakes. The tea warming her from the inside out, as her Shinji’s singing, subpar as it was, made her feel warm in a different way.

Breakfast was delicious as usual.

16 Hours 37 Minutes Ago. Location: NERV Headquarters, Hallways

The Angel Attack Alert resounded through the facility as Misato ran to the Control Room.

[Evacuation of Nishi Ward requires five more minutes.] Said Naomi’s tense voice over the intercom.

[Target is advancing at two-point-five kilometers per hour.] Informed Akihiko.

She finally reached the door to the Control Room and sped through.

“You’re tardy.” Ritsuko immediately chastised her.

“I’m sorry!” Misato said breathlessly and turned to Aoba. “What happened to the radar site on Mount Fuji!?”

Aoba turned back and tucked his long hair behind his ear. “It wasn’t on their scopes! This thing appeared up above out of nowhere!”

Hyuga piped up. “Pattern orange! No AT field has been detected!”

Misato scowled. “What does that mean!?”

“It must be a new type of Angel!” Ritsuko half asked half stated.

Maya looked at them over her shoulder from her station. “The MAGI are holding back on any assessment!”

Misato stared at the huge black and white sphere on the screen and growled out. “Dammit, of course Director Ikari would be absent at a time like this!”

She watched the Angel creep ever closer before turning to Ritsuko. “What’s the status on the Evas?”

“They’re being scrambled.” Ritsuko said, reading through telemetry on one of the screens. “They’ll be ready to deploy in three minutes.”

True to her words, the Evas were soon creeping upon the location of the possible Angel.

“Pilots, can you hear me?” She asked into the intercom. Once she received three affirmatives she continued. “We’ve sent you everything we know about the target. I know it’s not much to go on, so approach the target with caution and gauge how it reacts. If possible, you are to lure it out of the city’s airspace.”

On the screens, Shinji checked the action on his Pallet Rifle, Rei hefted the 457mm Evangelion Sniper Rifle, and Asuka hefted the Evangelion sized pistol and the ax.

“One of you will lead, and the rest will provide cover. Understood?”

Asuka scoffed over the comm. [I’ll take the lead! You two follow me!]

Misato blinked. “Uhh…”

[I dunno Asuka, I’ve got a bad feeling.] Shinji said scowling.

[Stop being a baby and follow me!]

“W-Wait!” Maya said as the three Evas redeployed. “Bad feeling how!?”

On one of the drone feeds, Misato saw Unit 01 peek at the possible Angel through an alleyway. [Not sure, something’s off though. Can we get a bird’s-eye-view of the target? Something giving us a top view would be ideal.]

“Kaede, send a drone up!” Maya said, not stopping to clear her action with Misato.

“On it!” Kaede clipped back, one of the drone feeds changing, the ground falling away as it gained altitude.

[Whatever, just get going!] Asuka growled and Unit 02 surged forward.

[Unit 00 will provide support.] Rei said.

[Ugh. Unit 01, providing support. Get me that top view!] Shinji said and cut comms.

Misato scowled. Not liking that they hadn’t asked for her orders before following Shinji’s suggestion. Or the fact that Asuka had just decided she was in charge, rather than waiting for her decision.

“Cocky little kids.” Misato growled.

“Looks like they’re all grown up.” Ritsuko said with a grin. “You must be so proud.”

“Asuka is gonna get such a talking-to.” Misato grumbled.

There was a tense silence as the Evas repositioned, the three Pilots coordinating surprisingly well as they created a kill-box around the Angel.

“I have that bird’s-eye-view!” Kaede suddenly announced.

“Sending it now!” Maya said and transmitted it to the Evas.

Shinji studied it as he repositioned to be closer to Asuka, as Rei set up Unit 00 bracing the sniper rifle against a building.

[Something’s off…] Shinji said, scowling at the picture. [But what?]

“Go into detail Shinji.” Misato demanded.

He zoomed in on the feed. [It has to do with its shadow…] He muttered. [Something’s off about it…]

[Blah blah blah, shadow whatever.] Asuka said with a bloodthirsty grin, she leaned out from behind a building she was using as cover and aimed the pistol at the Angel. [Brenn in der Hölle, du dummes Streifen-Schwein!]

[No, wait!] Shinji shouted, but he was too late. Asuka fired three rounds, and the Angel disappeared.

[Was zur Hölle!?]

[It’s the shadow! It didn’t vanish!] Shinji called out, surging forward. [The Angel is the shadow! The orb is a decoy!]

Alarms rang out through the Control Room.

“What is it!?” Misato demanded.

“Angel located, pattern Blue!” Hyuga shouted. “It’s right below Unit 02! It’s the shadow!”

On the comms, Asuka screamed.

[What is this!? What’s going on!? Let me go you-whah!?]

On the screens, they got to see Unit 02 sink into the shadow on the ground up to its calves, before Unit 01 rushed in, crashed into it, and lifted it bodily over its head.

[Allez oup!] Shinji said, and tossed Unit 02 ass over teakettle, sending it crashing into the top of a nearby building. He then stabbed his pallet rifle into the building next to him and pushed down.

The rifle tore through the building as if it were made of cardboard, Unit 01 sank into the shadow to its knees.

[Oooh, oooooh no, oh instant regret.] Shinji said, sounding disgusted more than anything.

“Shinji! Shinji get out of there!” Misato ordered.

[Ooooh, oh this is disgusting.] He continued, seemingly oblivious, Unit 01 sinking its hands into the building next to it and tearing chunks out of it as it continued to sink. [How can something be hot and cold and wet and dry and slimy and coarse all at the same time? Oooh no, oh this is disgusting. Instant regret.]

[Shinji!] Rei shouted as Unit 01 sank to its upper chest.

“Eject the entry plug!” Misato shouted. “Send the signal!”

Maya input the command. “Negative! There’s no response!”

[This is not my fetish! Ooooh I am kink shaming, I am so kink shaming!] Shinji said as Unit 01’s head went under, their very last sight its right hand grasping futilely at the air, in the seconds before it was fully submerged, the hand formed a thumbs up, then disappeared entirely into the Angel’s shadow.

[Shinji!] Rei’s scream held such despair that it twisted Misato’s guts. She hefted the rifle and fired, the Angel disappearing again and reappearing over Unit 02, the buildings around it shuddered, then began descending slowly into the shadow.

“Units 00 and 02. Retreat!” Misato ordered.

[Please wait! Shinji and Unit 01 are still in there!] Rei said.

“You have your orders! Withdraw!” She growled as Unit 02 began hopping from rooftop to rooftop until it could escape the radius of the ravenous shadow.

12 Hours Ago. Location: Tokyo-3 Downtown, Temporary NERV Headquarters

Maya paced back and forth waiting on the results from the latest scan.

“You know, that scanner will take just as long whether you’re sitting or standing.” Ritsuko said.

Maya looked over her shoulder at the doctor, and for once did not feel the respect she usually felt. “When we reeled in the umbilical cable there was nothing attached. Shinji might have run out of power by now!”

Ritsuko shook her head. “He’s smart enough to shut down the Eva and run life-support exclusively. That would buy him roughly sixteen hours. Meaning we have twelve more hours to figure out a plan to get him out of there.” She turned from her calculations and stared hard at Maya. “Throwing a tantrum and looking scared will do nothing other than worry those who are depending on us to figure this out.”

Maya grit her teeth, then resolutely sat down. Taking the chastisement for what it was and clasping her hands together so hard her fingers hurt. She had to, otherwise they would shake so hard it’d be impossible to hide.

6 Hours Ago. Location: Tokyo-3 Downtown, Temporary NERV Headquarters

[Second tank platoon is in position.]

[Roger, hold current position and stand by.]

[Opening sub laser comm line. Send specs!]

[Affirmative! Broadcasting on line Charlie.]

Asuka kept half an ear on the chatter over the radio. The Eggheads Misato brought with her nattering on about useless crap.

She stared hard at the Shadow. It hadn’t moved over the last ten hours.

“That idiot.” She muttered, her hands trembling as she clutched them into fists as tightly as she could. “Who asked him to do that? I could have gotten myself out of that situation without trouble!”

The lie sounded hollow in her own ears.

While pacing back and forth, she saw the First Children walking toward Unit 00, and rushed after her. “Hey, hey Rei! Rei wait up!”

If anything, Rei walked faster, but Asuka caught up nonetheless and grabbed her shoulder. “Rei!”

Rei shoved her hand off. “Leave me alone!”

“Wait, Rei, please.” Asuka said. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Rei finally turned to look at her, and Asuka was taken aback. Her eyes were red, well, redder than usual, puffy from crying. And glaring daggers at her.

“And I said. I don’t want to talk to you.” Rei stated, her voice, usually so stoic, trembling with emotion.

“Rei…I…I’m sorry.” Asuka repeated lamely.

Rage flashed in Rei’s ruby eyes, and Asuka felt her whole world rock as an impact to her head sent her reeling. Her cheek started to sting a moment later, and that’s when she realized Rei had slapped her.

“He told you to wait!” Rei shouted, trembling from head to foot. “He told you to wait but you never listen!”

Asuka blinked, working her jaw, feeling coming back to her cheek and making it burn. “I…”

“And now he is lost to us!” Rei continued, then hugged herself, her legs seemingly giving out beneath her as she fell and sat on the floor. “The Evas take priority. Whatever they do, they’ll sacrifice my Shinji to get Unit 01 back.”

“Oh, oh Rei I’m so sorry.” Asuka said, kneeling next to her friend. “Rei I’m…I’m so sorry!”

“He gave me warmth.” Rei whispered, fresh tears falling from her eyes and staining her cheeks. “I was fine before he came, because I didn’t know what warmth was. But now the sun is gone, taken away, and they’re going to snuff it out to get the Eva back. They’re going to kill my Shinji. I’ll never have warmth again.”

Not knowing what to do, Asuka hugged the crying girl, her own eyes burning as Rei continued to whisper brokenly. Repeating “My Shinji,” over and over.

“Oh Rei, I’m so sorry.” Asuka repeated, trying and failing to comfort the girl.

“What am I going to do?” Rei demanded. “How will I go on?”

“I…I…” Asuka tried to come up with an answer to Rei’s questions, but merely found herself repeating. “I’m sorry.”

She really was the worst.

3 Hours Ago. Location: Tokyo-3 Downtown, Temporary NERV Headquarters

“So that shadow is the Angel’s main body?” Misato asked.

“Correct.” Ritsuko said, illuminated by floodlights as night had well and truly fallen several hours ago, she stood in front of a white board with a whole lot of stuff that went right over her head. At least all the analysts that usually populated the NERV Control Room seemed to be able to follow along. “The Angel is three nanometers thick with a diameter of six-hundred-and-eighty meters. That extremely thin space is supported by an inward AT-field. Creating an imaginary numbers space. The Dirac Sea. My best guess is that it creates a pocket universe.”

“What’s a Dirac Sea?” Misato heard Kaede’s whispered question.

“It essentially means ‘void.’” Maya whispered back.

“Why didn’t she just say that?”

Ooookay, that was one question taken care of. Misato raised her hand. “And what about that sphere?”

“It vanishes when the main body’s imaginary numbers circuit closes.” Ritsuko said, seemingly disinterestedly. “That object floating above is the true shadow.”

Misato looked over her shoulder at the sphere. “So our target…is the shadow that enveloped Unit 01.” She grit her teeth. “Is there anything we can do to it?”

1 Hour 30 Minutes ago. Location: Tokyo-3 Downtown, Temporary NERV Headquarters

“You want to what!?” Misato demanded.

“We broadcast a warning into the shadow, then drop our entire stock of nine-hundred-ninety-two N2 mines at its center. With precise timing, the remaining Eva units employ their AT Fields to interfere with the Angel’s imaginary numbers circuit for one millisecond. At that instant we focus the explosive energy to destroy the Angel, along with the Dirac Sea that forms it.”

“Can the Eva unit even withstand that? What would happen to Shinji?” Misato demanded.

Ritsuko closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Top priority on this mission is the recovery of Unit 01, we cannot afford to lose an Eva unit with more Angels still to go. With any luck, the warning we will transmit will reach him, and he will activate Unit 01 just long enough to shield himself with its AT Field.”

Misato sighed, then took a deep breath and shouted. “Dammit! Dammit, dammit dammit dammit!” She forced herself back into control. “Okay, let’s get this done. The sooner it starts, the greater the amount of time Shinji will have to work with.”

“He’s pulled miracles before.” Ritsuko said, turning to glare at the Angel. “Even now, he is fighting it, I know it.”

Misato scoffed. “Knowing Shinji? He’s giving it indigestion.”

15 Minutes Ago. Location: Tokyo-3 Downtown, Temporary NERV Headquarters

Maya looked at her readouts and timers, and did what she could to swallow the queasy dread she felt. “Ma’am, if Shinji did think to immediately power-down Unit 01, then the Eva should be almost out of power, his suit’s Life Support won’t hold out much longer either.”

Ritsuko sighed. “You’re right. Get Major Katsuragi on the radio, ask her to work with the UN forces to speed up the timetable by twelve minutes. Damn NATO forces and their damnable red tape.”

Maya looked at her gauges, feeling powerless as Makoto made the call and did what he could to fight through bureaucratic feet dragging.

She clutched at her chest.

He would be fine.

The Miracle Pilot would be fine.

Shinji would not let them down, not while they still needed him.

She could only wonder how he had held up while inside the Angel.

15 Hours 30 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

"Bored... Bored bored... BORED!" I shouted into the cockpit.

I really should have demanded a refresher on what the hell might happen in this damn reality!

I vaguely recalled a conversation the original Shinji would have had with this Angel, so I’d dropped every Defense I had in sequence with the hope of kickstarting said conversation…but so far nothing.

Ugh.

Really, there was nothing for it but to wait until it made contact.

Good news though. I had books.

12 Hours 15 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

I closed the book in my HUD. Done with reading for the day.

And still nothing.

“Oi! Angel creature man! I’m right here!” I shouted into the plug. But waiting, I received no response.

…

Maybe if I sing to it?

11 Hours 40 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

“I know a song that goes on and on and on! It never stops, no it never stops! I know a song that goes on and on and on! And this is the fifty-seventh veeEEEEeeerse!”

10 Hours 2 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

“And another one down! And another one down! Another one bites the dust! Hey! I’m gonna getchu too! Another one bites the dust!”

8 Hours 47 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

“Something something EEEEEYEE, of the Tiiiiigeeeeeeeeer!”

5 Hours 32 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

“Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive.” Said the left hand, its fingers set in a bill that opened and closed as it talked. “We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…This Land.”

The right hand, set into an aggressive claw, turned to the left and opened and closed as it said in an exaggerated growl. “I think we should call it your grave!”

“Gasp!” The left hand did not gasp, it said the word. “Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”

The right hand cackled evilly then lunged at the left, closing around its wrist and shaking like a dog that caught a squirrel.

“Oh no!” Gasped the left hand. “Dear god in heaven! Such evil should not stand!”

“Your god has abandoned you!” The right hand said, surprisingly without issue with its mouth being full. “Only I, Evil One remain! And I shall rule over This Land!”

“You will fall!” Prophesied the left hand. “As do all Tyrants in time!”

2 Hours 38 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

I stared at what I had decided was the plug’s ‘ceiling’.

I’d tried powering up the Eva for a second to see outside, but there was nothing other than a white, seemingly endless void.

I had been waiting for over twelve hours. No contact.

“Okay. Fuck it.” I said and sat up. “Time for a food break.”

I set a portal to my Mansion and activated it.

And got an error message.

The fuck?

Looking at it…my position could not be accurately triangulated due to dimensional interference.

That…that was suboptimal.

That was very suboptimal.

But it’s fine, it’s okay. I can fix it.

Somehow.

It’s fine.

I summoned a sandwich to munch on while I brainstormed and got an error message.

‘I’m sorry, but we do not deliver to imaginary locations. Please return to a real reality and repeat the request.’

I…imaginary location…it wasn’t a true pocket dimension. It was an imaginary pocket dimension.

That…

That complicated things.

Okay. Okay, it’s fine.

I can fix this!

I brought up my HUD. My current Template couldn’t do anything with this, but I could splice in a Template that would let me fix this!

Sure, I only had three Credits, but under the circumstances I would be fine getting a small loan. Once I killed and captured the Angel I would immediately pay it off.

It’s fine, I’ve got this.

I could not reach the Catalog due to dimensional interference.

That…

Okay…okay, it’s fine. It’s fine.

…

It’s not fine, it’s not fine!

2 Hours 35 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

“Okay I can do this, all I’ve gotta do is kill the Angel. I’ve done this before. I’ll be okay! Except how the fuck am I gonna kill the Angel when it’s a whole-ass pocket universe!?”

2 Hours 34 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

“Why!? Won’t!? This!? Fucking!? Hatch!? OPEN!?”

2 Hours 33 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

“FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!”

2 Hours 32 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

“It can’t possibly end like this! I had such a good run! Dimensional interference!? Pish posh! I work for the Company! The multiversal entity that…cuts every corner to save on budget even though it has access to essentially infinite resources.”

“…”

“FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU-!”

2 Hours 30 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

The Help Desk line answered, my heart soaring with hope.

‘We’re sorry, we cannot process your call right now. Please hang up and try again.’

“FFFFFUUUUUU-!”

2 Hours 15 Minutes Ago. Location: Dirac Sea

I lay back against the pilot’s chair, sweaty, angry, hungry, and more than a little exhausted.

“Fuck this shit.” I spat. “I’mma nap.”

I closed my eyes…and couldn’t sleep.

“FU-!”

??? Ago. Location: ???

I blinked as I looked around, the familiar pipes of Waifu’s Pride’s plasma reactor greeting my eyes.

What? When did I get here? Did I fall asleep in here again? That was not good, the last time I’d gotten enough rads that I had not been able to get any x-rays done for months.

“Why is it that with the freedom to do anything, you remain in a dangerous place where you have to slave away for hours for the profit of another?”

I blinked and…saw a kid wearing a black and white striped shirt, his face hidden in shadows cast by the lights and pipes.

I opened my mouth to tell him he wasn’t supposed to be here, the child-worker approved ducts were in another section, when I remembered that I wasn’t part of the Slutlife Engineering Mechanics Electricians and Nano-machinist division anymore. I was a fully-fledged Agent, the ornery old warhorse had been sent back to the Blood Wars and claimed the lives of a few hundred thousand demons before once again being forced back for repair and refit.

I couldn’t be here.

No…I wasn’t here. I was in the plug of Evangelion Unit 01, I was swallowed by the Angel when I tossed Asuka out of it, assuming I’d be able to stomach the isolation better than her.

“Seriously? I had to take a nap for you to show up and talk to me?” I asked scathingly.

“Your mind was too guarded. It took some time for your defenses to lower and your mind to open up.”

I blew out a breath. “Right right. Fuckin’. So, who are you anyway? Why are you talking to me?”

“I would say I am you…but you are not you. And yet you are.” The thing projecting itself as a child tilted its head. “You are and aren’t you. You are more like Us than those of your Kind. An Outsider.”

I grinned. “Fuckin’ ding ding, you win the prize!”

“Why do you fight so hard for Them? They aren’t Yours.”

“It’s the job.”

“You finished the job. You could have left any time. And now you can’t. Why do you fight so hard for Them? They aren’t Yours.”

I grit my teeth in anger. “I said it’s the job!”

“You have butchered the others that Could Have Been. Trapped their Souls. You risked limb and life, a life so far outside Their understanding, most would be broken by what you represent. Objectively, your life is worth more than all of Theirs. And yet you risk it for those who are objectively your lesser. Why do you fight so hard for Them? You are an Outsider, they aren’t Yours.”

This kid was really starting to piss me off.

“They have the right to Life!” I spat. “They have the right to make the best life they can! They have the right not to have their whole existence rendered down into soup for the profit of a few extremely rich dumbasses with a crippling fear and death and illusions of godhood!”

“Don’t We have the right to Life? They took this world from Us. We were supposed to be those who would populate this world, yet it was They who were allowed to thrive.”

I scowled. “Everything has the right to Life.”

“Then why do you eliminate Us? We are each a Nation, each a possibility for those who would have walked upon this World, the ending of one of Us is equivalent to genocide.”

I showed it my teeth. “Because the right to Life is a right to struggle. Ninety-nine percent of everything that ever lived has gone extinct. And a minute amount of that number was wiped out by Man. If you can’t cut it? That’s on you.”

“That isn’t fair.”

“Life isn’t fair. Life doesn’t care. Life embraces only the most resilient survivor. If that doesn’t prove to be you, then tough shit.”

“Most of Them are not like you. You are stronger, faster, and have greater mental acuity. They are not resilient survivors, you are. Does that not mean that They should fall, and You should remain?”

“The duty of the strong is to bear the infirmities of the weak!”

“Compared to you, We are weak. How can you claim to bear the infirmities of the weak, when you yourself murder those who are weak? When you keep our birthright from Us.”

I grinned savagely. “That’s the beauty of being a Man. If we want something? We take it. If we can’t take it? We make it! You think you can just take the world? Well, you are welcome to try, but even if you manage to take it from us, your victory will be hollow. All you will inherit is a lifeless, irradiated ball of dirt and poison, because we don’t give a shit that you got here first, it’s ours now!”

“And yet you claim to be better than Us? You, who would destroy the Cradle if you would be unable to keep it?”

“Yeah, let’s skip the ‘we are not so different you and I’ that’s sure to come after this bit.” I said, surging to my feet and stalking toward the Child/Angel. “Life isn’t fair, survival of the fittest, existence is pain, nothing can live without causing harm to another living thing. Blah blah blah.”

I pushed into the MIU. Drove my mind through it. Grasping for the consciousness of the Evangelion.

My grasping probe felt something familiar, buried deep in the Angel/Human hybrid-cyborg. Something that slumbered but pulsed with familiar wrath.

As I grasped it, I felt something else, a gentle touch settling around my mental grip. Guiding me away from the slumbering thing. Intertwining itself with my probe, a touch that was at once natural and warm, protective yet fragile, needing of my protection in turn.

“You are no more deserving that Us.” The Angel said as I loomed over its form. “You hold rage and despair in your heart. Clutch them like precious jewels while exulting the wonders of kindness and hope. You claim to be one of the best examples of Them, yet not only are you an Outsider, you do not even attempt to embody the virtues you espouse, a hypocrite of the worst type. What gives you the right to decide who lives and who dies?”

“Yeah, you might have a point there. I’m not gonna claim I’m the best kind of person out there.” I growled, then thrust my hands forward wrapping them around its neck. “But that’s the secret you see. I’m not one of the best examples of humanity. I’m one of the worst!” I increased the pressure, my arms trembling from the effort. “I’m a misanthropic asshole, one who indulges in schadenfreude. I’m the one who doesn’t get even; I retaliate! I escalate! I’m the monster you invite to the peace summit, as a reminder to others of what you will unleash if you don’t get your fucking way!”

In my eyes, my arms were overlaid by purple plates of armor, my head encased in a horned helmet, my hands stabbing into a striped black-and-white sphere, crushing something vital in its center, overlaying the child whose neck I crushed.

“You think I don’t know the type of creature I am!?” I demanded with a deranged laugh. “I am the unfortunate necessity! The tasteless violence! I am the monster you unleash on the awful things, so other, better people don’t have to face it!”

Several faces came to mind. The bossy class rep, Bottle Blonde’s assistant, the girl-next-door analyst with the neat hairstyle. Even the face of rocker boy, the one guy with no ulterior motives, with no belief in my bullshit, with no desire other than to do his job and save mankind. The one asshole who stayed behind in what was essentially a suicide mission he had no way to meaningfully contribute to, because if he evacuated and left his job to someone else, minor as it was, they might do it wrong and doom the city.

Through my deep link to Unit 01, I felt a combination of sorrow and triumphant pride.

The Child/Angel struggled in my grip, striking feebly at my arms to force me to let go. But its strength was not in direct confrontation. It was by nature a scavenger. Only capable of taking its prey once it had wholly exhausted itself.

“What right have I to end you? What right do you have to kill those I’ve chosen to protect!?” I growled, squeezing harder. “Don’t come at me with your sanctimonious bullshit! Might makes right! And guess what fucko!? I have an Evangelion, and that’s a lot of might I can throw at a problem to make it go the fuck away!”

I squeezed down harder on its neck as my greater form brought ever greater pressure down upon its core.

I peeled back my lips over my teeth/snapped the welding on my helmet keeping my mouth shut.

“Now get off my planet!”

Now. Location: Tokyo-3 Downtown, Temporary NERV Headquarters

“Both Eva Units are in position!” Aoba called out.

Maya nodded and finished triple checking her instruments. “AT field deployment is ready!”

“Roger.” Ritsuko said, scowling at the screens.

“Sixty seconds to mine drop.” Hyuga called out.

“If only NATO had hurried up.” Ristuko muttered.

Maya looked out at the Angel through her screens. Units 00 and 02 stood at the very edge of the ‘shadow’ body. In the steadily lightening sky, she could see the contrails of dozens of aircraft as they moved to a position to deploy their payload.

Then every single meter and scale on her screens redlined at the same time that with a thunderous crash, the shadow broke up and blood sprayed into the air.

[W-What’s happening!?] Asuka called out, Unit 02 recoiling away from the sight. Everywhere the shadow touched, the ground heaved and roiled.

“Sit-rep, now!” Major Katsuragi demanded.

“I-I’m at a loss!” Hyuga said.

“All of the meters and gauges are at maximum!” Maya called out.

“How!? We haven’t done anything yet!” Ritsuko called out.

Maya felt her eyes open wide; she turned back to Ritsuko with a smile on her face. “It’s Shinji! It has to be!”

Ritsuko shook her head. “That’s impossible! Due to NATO dragging its feet, Unit 01 is completely drained of energy!”

“But could it be Shinji!?” Major Katsuragi demanded.

“I…there is no possible way!” Ritsuko insisted.

The huge sphere that was the Angel’s true shadow trembled and wobbled in the air, the pattern changing as a loud keening reverberated through the city. Before their eyes, the patterns trembled as if in pain, before the sphere turned black as pitch.

“Talk to me Ritsuko, what’s going on!?” Major Katsuragi asked.

“I…I…No…I…”

Something began pushing at the ‘skin’ of the shadow from the inside. Soon, Unit 01’s clawed fingers could be seen in stark detail as it pressed from the other side.

“But…but that’s not its true body.” Ritsuko muttered as next to the hand, an Evangelion’s armored foot could be seen pushing out. Distractingly, it pushed out above the hand.

Maya felt her smile widening before stating with complete conviction. “It’s Shinji. Shinji is killing the Angel from the inside.”

The hand and foot retreated, before from the other side of the sphere the head and upper chest of Evangelion Unit 01 pressed against the surface from the inside.

The sphere shuddered once more and drew the Evangelion in once again.

“Someone tell me what the hell is going on!?” Major Katsuragi demanded.

Maya didn’t bother answering, she merely watched as the Angel shuddered in clear agony, before with the sound of flesh being torn on an awesome scale, the sphere parted in two as Evangelion Unit 01 tore its way out of it in a tsunami of blood, its all-too-human roar rattling every window in the city and painfully but reassuringly vibrating the marrow in Maya’s bones.

“That…that’s not possible.” Ritsuko muttered.

On her headset, Maya heard the Pilot of Unit 02 whisper. [Am I piloting…a terrible thing like that?]

“What…What kind of monstrosity did we replicate?” Ritsuko whispered in awe.

With a final heave and a roar, Unit 01 finished tearing its way out of the Angel, falling to the ground and creating a crater of shattered concrete and blood. It stood from its predatory crouch, something spherical and red clutched in its hands.

“That…that’s a core. A second intact core!” Hyuga said.

The Evangelion made several coughing noises as it clutched the core tightly with both hands, the Angel’s blood falling upon its shoulders like a cascade. Then, with deliberate wrath, it began compressing the core.

“Someone get on the radio! Tell Shinji to stop, that’s an invaluable sample!” Ritsuko shouted.

“DEATH!” The Evangelion shouted as cracks appeared in the core it clutched.

Maya, and everyone in the temporary control room, all looked in awe at the Eva.

“It…it spoke?” Aoba asked.

“No, it couldn’t possibly…” Ritsuko said, her voice trembling.

Evangelion Unit 01 threw back its head and roared. “DEATH!” As the core it clutched deformed and cracked further.

“Th-The E-Evas a-are n-n-not c-capable o-of h-human sp-sp-sp…” Ritsuko stuttered, her teeth chattering as she stepped backwards until her back hit the wall of the command vehicle.

“DEATH!” Unit 01 screamed, holding the core above its head, its arms trembling with its effort.

Maya broke protocol and abandoned her station to sprint out of the command vehicle, watching it through a screen was not enough, she needed to see what was happening with her own eyes.

The first thing that hit her once she stepped outside was the overwhelming stench of blood. An ocean of it flowed outward form Unit 01, rivers of it running through Tokyo-3’s streets. She could hear snaps and crackles from the core as it fought against the sheer force Shinji and Unit 01 brought to bear against it, the seemingly endless waterfall of blood falling from the deflating spherical angel, breaking against Unit 01’s head and flowing down its chest and back like a sanguine cloak.

The sun finally rose over the mountains, bathing Unit 01 in its rays as it visibly girded itself for one last mighty effort, raising the scarred core over its head.

It roared, and with a whimper and a crunch not unlike breaking bone, the core shattered into countless small pieces.

“DEATH!”