How to Sell Yourself (Patreon)

Gina sat in the chair, fidgeting with her blouse as she waited to be called back into the office. She paused looking herself over, she had dressed to impress and her royal blue blouse and stretch knit pants gave her a casual yet professional feel. She looked back down to the book in her hand and read the title again. “How to sell yourself on any interview.” The book had been sent to her by the company she had applied to for the position of secretary. It was strange that the company should send her a self-help book, but Gina could not deny it had been an interesting read.

“April.” The woman sitting behind the counter called. Another woman with black hair stood, tucked her own copy of the book under her arm, and entered the back room. Gina watched, trying to keep her nerves under control. She hadn’t expected six other applicants to all be there at once. The women had all smiled and nodded to each other politely, but Gina knew the telltale signs they all felt the same way.

Shaking her head she looked down at her book and began to read. For a simple self help book on interviews she had found herself riveted by the small book for the last two weeks, it hardly left her side and she had been taking it with her even to read while in her current job. It has hardly been out of her sight since the man in the hat had given it to her on the street…. no… wait…

Gina blinked to clear her mind. It was just nerves. She had received this book in the mail after applying for the job. There had been no man on the street randomly handing her a book. That was silly. She flipped the book open again and read over the instructions once again, how to sit, how to speak, key phrases to make yourself appeal to the new employer. How to be a valuable asset here at…. What was this company called again?

Looking around the room she tried to find any identifying logos or a sign bearing the company name. She knew it had a name, it had to, it was on the tip of her tongue. A memory of googling the company floated into her mind. But no that was a daydream, how silly that had been that there were no known matches on google, she was sitting right here, wasn’t she?

Back to the book, all the remaining four women all doing the same, staring drawn into the books in their laps, all sitting in nearly identical positions. Come to think of it, they all wore almost the same outfit. What a strange coincidence, all of them had come, blue blouses, hair pulled into a French braid. Lipstick a vibrant red. They had clearly been studying just as well as she had. She had to cram more to be the best before she was called back.

“Gina.” The woman at the desk called. Oh no. She needed more time. No. Relax. She had this. A good asset never panics. Gina stood and tucked her book under her arm and passed through the door into the offices beyond. She was met in a small Simple office by a man wearing a suit and an expensive looking watch. He gestured for her to have a seat and extended a hand which Gina took and made sure to smile her most dazzling smile at him.

“So. What makes you think you could be a good asset for us here?” He asked, his time was conversational but carried so much weight behind it. Gina wanted nothing so much as to impress him. She took a quick breath and began to pitch the sale she had practiced in front of the mirror countless times now.

“I am a perfect toy.” She said. The man’s smile widened, but the words caused Gina to pause. No. She wanted to say how she was going to be a model employee, not a toy, wasn’t she? “I am your perfect plaything.” The next line came from her lips automatically, had she meant to say that? She was so confused.

“Yes. You are. But tell me, what are the qualities of a good plaything?” he asked,leaning back in his chair, hand under his chin and his gaze sweeping over her body.

“A good toy must always obey.” Gina replied without thinking. She had practiced so many times in front of the mirror, it felt strange to say it to someone. “A good toy will never think on its own.”

The statement hit her like a ton of bricks. She shouldn’t be thinking on her own. She should be obeying. She should be saying her pre-programmed phrases like a good puppet. But she was worried, something was wrong.

“A good toy must have an owner.” She continued. That was it. She didn’t have an owner. She was a toy without an owner, she was made to please and had no one to obey. A rising sense of panic clawed its way up the back of her skull.

“And who is your owner?” The man asked, leaning forward now.

“I… I don’t… I don’t have one.” The words made her feel like she was going to cry. Something was so terribly wrong but she shouldn’t stop herself. If only… if only something… it was in the back of her mind screaming at her.

“You do not have an owner, yet. But don’t worry, I will make sure you are sold to a good owner who will care for you and give you many orders to obey.”

That was it. It hit like a lightning strike. She was going to be sold. To be purchased by someone and *they* would be her owner. The word settled on her mind like a blanket, the panic from before erased, along with something else but she couldn’t remember what, she hadn’t been told to. “I’ll have an owner. I will be the best toy.” She smiled, “I will be whatever they want of me and I will be the best I can. Because I am a good toy.”

“Very good. Now go sit in the back room with the other toys and join in the chant. He smiled and stood up guiding her to a back room lined with chairs. Two other women sat in the folding hairs. Staring forward at nothing. A smile permanently etched on their feathers now as they spoke a repeating chant that did not appear to have a beginning or an end. Toy, the newest toy, sat down beside the other two and adopted a similar pose and began to join them.

I am a toy.

Just a toy.

Always a toy.

I am a toy.

Just a toy.

Always a toy.

I am a toy.

The man smiled and closed the door, leaning his newest dolls to chant the last of their minds away. He returned to the office of the room he had rented for the day and smiled. Three so far, this was going to be a good haul before he had to move onto the next city. He paused and reached down, picking up the book that had been forgotten by the most recent toy, and smiled at the truth of the cover. “How to sell yourself at any interview.” He sat down and placed the book on the desk with the other copies. Ready to be handed out at the next city.