Lucent Ep 10 (Patreon)

rrrmmmmghhh I think this one visually was nice and I enjoyed playing with the whole hand thing, but the more I worked on the dialogue the more I feel like I mucked it up. I had two or three different threads I wanted to go with, but also didn't want them to outright get through. It should be frustrating to see them not get quite there, but I don't know if there was enough satisfaction or clarity to make this episode fully make sense?

So I'm going to give a big ol' explanation of my thought process with all this and hopefully, it gives some added context, or maybe it'll just be nice for you to read if you like these guys! Warning it's long and meandering:

Titian's intent in saying all this in the beginning is to offer a kind of olive branch to Lucian. They've had some tension between them that never quite resolved in NPCs and the more time goes on, the more Titian wants to pursue a serious relationship with Lucian. He can see that the biggest wedge in the relationship is the lack of communication about this particular topic (how Titian knows Lucian and how Lucian knows Titian, because both of them are now very aware it's in a way that is not normal at all. As in, Titian saw some weird vision of a... version of Lucian, and Lucian just knows him from Crimson Fate). 

Now, Lucian does feel compelled by Titian's honesty here and he feels like reciprocating it. He's got a lot of guilt about not telling anyone anything so this feels like a step towards relieving some of that guilt. He also wants to pursue a deeper relationship with Titian too! He won't talk directly about Crimson Fate, but he feels like he can at least explain some of his thought processes as to why. He starts off saying how he likes Titian because he's both stalling to figure out the right words and because he sorta gets the feeling that going in directly would upset Titian more (he's right lol). He needs Titian to know he DOES like him as a person a lot, but he's also aware he's more than just Some Guy. There's a power imbalance and he's got very little power that isn't given to him directly by Titian.

That was the initial reason why he never said anything back in NPCs. This guy's the king of all fae and you're directly in his territory and you wanna tell him some humans from the city you're supposedly from are gonna KILL him in ten years? Sure he could avoid saying THAT, but what if he tells him about the issue with the World Tree? What if he thinks he's a spy or something? Well, that was the concern at first, but now the biggest one is the repercussions this knowledge would have in the long term, not just on Lucian himself, but on all of them.

Realistically, Lucian knows like a wiki's synopsis worth of knowledge when it comes to the plot of Crimson Fate. It is laughably sparse. He can't guarantee he genuinely knows the whole future of the world. He's not sure if what he played IS the future. Now that he's integrated himself more, he's understanding that giving half-baked information can be harmful. It could be unnecessary stress for them. They could end up on a wild goose chase trying to save themselves from something Lucian just misremembered. He's terrified beyond belief of being someone who could cause more harm to the guys he's come to love. He's got a LOT of hangups about being a provider and carer, to say the least. And, on a more personal level, he's terrified of rejection. For various reasons in his previous life, the thought of revealing something only to be rejected or shunned is such a deeply ingrained and, frankly, traumatizing thing for him it colors every decision to be vulnerable.

I hope that Titian's response makes sense on its own. He's both trying to show he relates to Lucian, but also emphasizing that he's not alone in his struggle and that it's one he and the others share. If they can get over it, then maybe they can finally get somewhere.

It's a bit rough to say the least. Maybe in the future, I'll go back and entirely adjust this part... I did that for NPCs when I started on Manta. Just took my script for the first arc and rearranged the hell out of things. But hey, at least I drew some super nice-looking hands haha