The Waystation Ch.22 (Patreon)

Chapter 22

The Road…again. III

“Well?” Bert asked as the rogue stared at him open-mouthed.

An arrow flew from the Hunter, only for Bert to block it without looking.

“Am I taking that as a no?” He sighed as another arrow came flying out of the canopy. “Will you fuck off, mate?” Bert snapped.

The rogue tried to slip away while he was distracted, only for the Caretaker to kick the tree hard enough to spill the rogue from its perch.

Another arrow bounced off his shield as Bert snarled. Slamming his shield into the rogue as it tried to rise, he snapped again, “I told you to fuck-” An arrow pinged off his shoulder.

Bert snapped and kicked the rogue, sending them spinning into a tree as he crouched, light flaring from his body as he leaped into the tree. A dull ‘thunk’ sound repeatedly came from the canopy.

Lowes slid into a new position, getting a clear line on the Caretaker. He smiled and tried not to laugh at what he saw.

“I told you,” thunk, “to fucking,” thunk, “fuck off.” Bert stopped slamming the extremely dead Hunter’s head into the tree and let the body fall. He dropped out of the tree, rolling away as the rogue leaped from a bush. The twin daggers slammed into his shield before being driven aside.

Dashing away again, the rogue vanished into the bushes.

“Just go away!” Bert called again. With a sigh, he cast heat on the bushes. The rogue burst from the cover, fire licking at their cloak as she tore it away.

Bert waited while they slapped out the fire on their legs.

“Can we call it a day yet?” Bert asked, hopefully.

The woman spat and drew her daggers, dropping into a combat pose.

The two clashed as she darted forward, and each time she found her daggers blocked by his shield or axe, not a hit landing. Growling, she cast, summoning a swirling line of blades, and sent them at Bert.

He danced around and between the blades, as his skin shone. Lowes almost wanted to clap.

“Last chance!” Bert panted as he finally knocked the last one from the air.

“How?” The rogue snarled.

“I have a friend who is fond of knives,” Bert shrugged as the rogue circled him.

A shimmer passed over the rogue as she smiled, a dozen versions of her spreading out around him.

Lowes watched as Bert just groaned, his hand shifting as the rogue grinned.

Bert launched himself into the air as the circle closed around him. His shield bloomed as he somersaulted over the rogues, landing in a crouch and charging, shield first as the circle closed.

All versions of the rogue were in the same place for a split second, but it was enough. The shield hummed as a clang rang out. All but one of the rogues disappeared, the final one thrown clear. The crossbow bolt slammed into her head before she stopped rolling.

“Shit, sorry.” Bert winced. “I was aiming for your leg.”

The corpse didn’t answer.

Lowes suppressed a chuckle.

Three warriors burst into the clearing, yelling as they charged Bert. He wearily raised his shield. The cycling of the Mana Tides still hurt from his run-in with the ants, and he had been hoping to find a nice tree to rest in.

His hand shifted into his crossbow as he sent a line of bolts toward the legs of the charging warriors. They blocked the bolts, sneering as they closed in on him. A shield charge bowled him over as another swept their sword down at him. He rolled away and kicked off a shield as he cast the chill rune on the ground.

He came to rest against the dead rogue as one of the men let out a cry of pain at the sight.

“Would you believe I aimed for her leg?” Bert asked as he lifted the corpse's head moments before the man charged him. “Guess not,” Bert smiled and threw the corpse at the man. Bert put a bolt in his neck as the man dropped his guard to catch the body.

He got to his feet and backed away from the tree, getting a little space around him as the remaining two guards followed.

“Anyone fond of the Hunter?” Bert asked hopefully.

The two simply sneered.

“Worth a try,” Bert shrugged as his hand formed into an axe.

The two guards charged, shields locked together as they closed on him. Bert leaped back, slamming his axe into the floor and launching himself forward into the two. Their shields creaked but held as he blocked their swords with his axe. His feet began to slide as they pushed him back.

The guards suddenly parted, sending him flying through their guard. Their swords slashed down as he passed, cutting deep gouges into his back and leg.

Bert rolled over and sent a mana pulse through his shield, blasting the two guards away as he scrambled back. Blood pooled under him as the guards smiled.

“Reclaim Flesh,” Bert muttered as the rogue's body came into range. Seeing the river of flesh move toward him, the guards charged. The lead guard stabbed forward, eyes widening as Bert didn’t try to block the blow. Letting the sword slide into his belly and out his back, Bert swung his axe at the exposed guard. It bit deep into the side of the knee, sending the guardsman crashing down on top of Bert. The two struggled on the ground as Bert shifted his hand from an axe to his crossbow. The bolts punched into the guard, their flesh sealing the wound in his belly as he rolled, pulling out the sword.

He struggled to his feet as he blocked blow after blow from the surviving warrior. They strained against each other as Bert panted, a vicious smile on the guardsman’s face.

“You can’t keep this up,” The guard laughed.

“True,” Bert chuckled.

“I ca-” The guardsman cut off, gagging as Bert spat blood into his mouth. A bolt slammed into his eye a second later.

Bert sagged, collapsing onto his knees and gasping for breath as his crossbow turned back into a hand.

“An impressive weapon,” Lowes said as he stepped out from behind a tree.

“Will you lot just jog the fuck on already?” Bert started to struggle to his feet again.

“I’m not here to fight,” Lowes raised his hands in peace.

“Makes a nice change,” Bert sighed.

“Albert Lowes, at your service,” he said and bowed deeply.

“Bert J. Hudson, too fucking tired to be anything” Bert nodded.

“I was wondering if my husband and I might rent a room at the Bear’s Lodge?” Lowes said lightly.

“Sure,” Bert shrugged, “It’s over that way.” he pointed vaguely.

“My thanks; I think you should know there are quite a few teams like this one around.” He smiled thinly, “They objected to having their town flattened.”

“Lovely,” Bert grumbled. “I don’t suppose I can interest you in telling me where they are?”

“That is, in fact, why I am here.” Lowes bowed again. “My husband believes strongly in discounts.”

Bert laughed, “I guess the first week is on the house.”

“I suspect two weeks would be fairer,” Lowes grinned. “I can also assist in other matters as well.”

“Fine, two weeks, any more than that you negotiate with Bell.” Bert chuckled.

“Excellent!” Lowes bounded forward and helped Bert to his feet. “May I offer a little energy boost? You seem rather drained.”

Bert nodded, and Lowes waived. A wash of warm light passed over Bert.

“Wow, that is some skill.” Bert was suddenly full of energy.

“Thank you, my husband is fond of it.” Lowes bowed again.

“Well, I’m really hoping this isn’t a trap, Lowes.” Bert grinned, “It would suck to have to kill you.”

“Funny, my husband said the same thing the day we met.” Lowes chuckled as he led the way through the forest.

The two men chatted on and off as they moved easily through the teams hunting Bert.

From what Bert could tell, Lowes seemed to have at least three extra senses. It was almost annoying how easily he moved through the network of patrols.

“We seem to have a small problem up ahead,” Lowes cautioned. “Whoever it is, they are injured quite badly and not moving.”

“Let’s go have a look then,” Bert said as Lowes nodded and moved silently into the gloom.

A minute later, the two men looked down on the injured woman.

“This is barbaric,” Lowes said, shaking his head.

“What happened?” Bert asked as he crouched next to the woman.

“I asked too many questions,” The woman gasped. Blood crusted her mouth as she smiled bitterly. “They decided to make an example of me.”

Bert’s mouth twisted as he looked over her injuries. Both arms had been hacked off, seemingly at random. A giant metal spike was driven through her stomach, pinning her to the floor. One leg was missing below the knee as well.

“I need to kill someone,” Bert muttered.

“I appreciate the sentiment, and I share it.” Lowes looked furious.

“No,” Bert thought for a second, “Well, yes. But I mean, I need to kill someone or have a corpse to use for healing.”

“Ah, I see.” Lowes nodded, “Back in a tic!” With that, the man vanished into the shadows.

“No point,” Martha gasped bitterly. “They did something to me….”

Before she could finish her sentence, she passed out. Lowes returned with a feebly struggling guardsman over his shoulder.

“One almost dead body, as requested!” Lowes said brightly.

Bert snapped the guardsman’s neck and activated his skill, pulling the spike out as the wounds healed.

Or most of them.

No matter how hard he tried, he could not repair the arms. The stumps healed over but refused to regrow. The leg would not regrow either.

The woman came round as the two men discussed the situation.

“You should have let me die,” The woman groaned as she saw her arms and leg still missing.

“Sorry,” Bert shrugged, “They should have grown back.”

“The Master decided to ‘sacrifice’ my limbs,” She winced as Lowes sucked in a breath. “He’s a priest.”

“What the hell?” Bert looked to Lowes for answers.

“There are more priests in the Trader’s Guild than you would think.” Lowes said, “Unfortunately, sacrificed limbs will not regrow.”

The two men helped the woman to sit up and rest against the tree.

“I’ll just die slower this way,” She grimaced, “Please, just give me a quick death.”

“As you wish,” Lowes bowed and drew his hand behind his back.

“Wait!” Bert said suddenly, “You are level fifteen, right?”

“So,” The woman looked at him bitterly, “The guild never let me choose a class. Choosing one now won’t fix me.”

“Well, see you say that… but I might be able to give you one hand back,” Bert held up his prosthetic hand to show her. “I can gift my class, but how did they stop you from choosing one?”

“They kill anyone who takes one,” Lowes shrugged. “It is a simple solution but effective.”

“So, want to give this a go?” Bert asked.

The woman looked uncertain.

“It is only one hand, but it is a chance….” Lowes said softly.

She nodded.

Bert held out his hand and placed it gently on the woman’s shoulder.

Offer Class: Garbage Man to

Martha of Mordica?

Bert accepted the prompt, only to frown.

Immortal interference detected!

Offer blocked….

SAY MY NAME…

Fury erupted in Bert as he saw the words; his knotwork shone brightly, making both the others shy back…

Interference with Fae Contracts is Forbidden…

Immortal interference is overridden.

ERROR

Class not compatible with Non-Fae….

Creating Human Variant….

Class: Handyman offered to

Martha of Mordica…

Accepted!

Bert blinked and stepped back as Martha gasped.

“Repair,” She gasped, and the two men watched as stone, bones, and wood was drawn toward the three missing limbs. They merged, flowing into each other until three new limbs appeared. One bone arm, one stone arm, and a wooden leg. Each one rippled slightly before Martha slowly moved them, looking in wonder at her repaired body.

She gently touched her hands to each other and laughed.

“Everything okay?” Bert asked.

“Okay?” She wiped a tear from her eye with one skeletal finger. “I can feel my hands, my leg, everything.” She climbed to her feet, testing the new leg. Picking up a rock, she squeezed it, watching it crush to dust in her stone hand. “How is this possible? And what is a Handyman?”

“It’s a long story involving another world, mist, a red-haired bitch with a short fuse, and a very homicidal pixie.” Bert smiled.

===========

Flames licked along the barricades as the townspeople huddled in their tents. The first two lines of barriers had already fallen. The remaining guards were rounding up everyone they could and trying to force them to man the barricades, but one group had already overpowered their guards and killed them.

“This can not happen!” Master Able slammed his fist into the table again. “Where are all our fighters?”

“Most of them are still out in the forest, hunting the Caretaker,” Reed said as he bowed deeply.

“Call them back, then!” Able’s voice shook.

“I regret that no runner could be found willing to leave the barricades.”

“Kill the ones that refuse! Just get it done.” Able snapped.

“As you say, Master.” Reed ducked out of the tent and called over the nearest guard.

“Sir!” The guard saluted.

“Master Able wants all guards removed from the inner tents; send everyone we have to the east side,” Reed said imperiously.

“But, sir! The attacks are coming from the west!” The guard stuttered as a gout of flame engulfed the nearest barricade.

“Do you question the Master?” Reed said dangerously.

“No, Sir!” The guard ran off, calling for runners to relay messages to the barricades.

Reed smiled happily as the last of the guards headed away from the tent.

“Is it done?” Able asked as he ducked back into the tent.

“Of course, Master Able.” Reed nodded.

“Good. Death is a great motivator, Mister Reed. Remember that.”

“It was for me, certainly.” Reed laughed as walked towards the elderly Master.

“What?” Able looked at Reed in confusion. Reed had been a sycophantic but dependable follower since he first arrived a year ago. The man coming towards him almost seemed… threatening. “What are you doing?”

“Just this,” Reed bowed. As he straightened, his arm blurred.

The old man fell forward, a thin knife buried in his skull.

Reed began to whistle, walking into the darkness as the last barricades fell.

A woman stalked through the smoke and flames, flanked by two men.

“Martha, good to see you up and about.” Reed bowed to her deeply. “I was sorry to hear about the Master’s actions while I slept.”

“Where is the old prick?” Martha snarled. “I’m going to cut his dick off and see how he likes the taste.”

“Damn, I already killed him. That would have been fun to watch,” Reed laughed as Martha huffed and stalked into the Master’s tent.

“Sorry, I was so long, dear.” Lowes smiled at his husband. “I ran into a small issue when we found Martha.”

“Not a problem; I managed to amuse myself.” Reed shrugged as the eastern barricade exploded. “That should take care of the last of the guards, by the way.” The two men laughed as Bert gave them a strange look.

“What?” Reed asked, amused.

“You two wouldn’t happen to be pixies or something, would you?”

“Not that we are aware of. Why?” Lowes asked.

“Nothing, just that you remind me of someone….” Bert trailed off.

============

Bert sighed as he walked away from the quickly folding tent camp. Martha had come out to say goodbye but as the new… mayor?...overlord? …or whatever she was, did not have time for a long goodbye.

Lowes and Reed said they would catch up shortly, which he had no doubt they would. Something was soothing about the couple, but Bert could not figure out what it was.

The walk over the plains was actually relatively peaceful, and following the tracks of the Waystation could not have been easier. He was already thinking about some kind of contraption to smooth the ground out behind it.

There was such a thing as being too obvious.

Reed and Lowes caught up with him after the first day. They were simply there, suddenly appearing next to him as he walked.

They kept up a pleasant conversation as they walked, sharing stories of intrigue and plotting that they had witnessed.

He was not exactly surprised to hear they were assassins.

Bert decided he needed more Non-homicidal friends.

They came across a few survivors of the battle. They would see Lowes and Reed and run to them, getting close enough to see Bert… before immediately running away.

They made a small game out of it. Coins changed hands as they bet on how close the people got and the sounds they made as they ran.

Lowes always seemed to win a lot more than he lost.

Cresting the final rise, the Waystation came into view. Bud rode Slothy as he came out to meet them.

“Welcome back, Boss!” The skeletal Gnork waved excitedly.

“Bud! How have you been?” Bert surprised the little skeleton with a hug.

“Great, but…” Bud trailed off.

“What now?” Bert chuckled.

“I think I would rather Bell answered that.” Bud laughed nervously.

The group trotted back over to the Waystation.

As they got onto the grounds, Bert stopped and stared.

Bell was giggling as she led Felicia around by a collar. The glowering immortal was radiating rage like a sun.

“Bert! Look,” Bell turned to Felicia, “do as I tell you, and the contract violation is forgiven.”

“Bark. Bark. I’m a massive bitch. Bark. Bark.” Felicia ground out between clenched teeth.

“Good bitchy immortal,” Bell clicked her fingers, and the collar vanished.

Felicia shot off the grounds so fast she blurred.

“In six months… I’ll kill you all.” With that, she vanished into the mist.

Bert gave Bell a look.

“What? She broke the contract!” Bell giggled.

“Fuck sake, Bell!” Bert groaned.