The Waystation Ch.44 (Patreon)

Chapter 44

A Busy Few Days I

Bert stomped out of the Barn, his face like thunder. It was too much. How did this shit keep happening to him? Why the flying fuck had he met not just one, but two Immortals.

“Most mortals would be happy talking to a God, would they?” He grumbled. “Then they are fucking idiots.” He looked around grumpily, seeing none of the usual morning activity going on. He growled.

Storming across the yard, he pushed open the door to the Bear’s Fall and saw Bell and a few others behind the counter. He stormed inside, and before they could get a word out…

“Pack your shit! We are leaving. Now. This Instant.” They looked at him, mouths open. “Come one, move it! We have to go… now!”

Still the staring.

“Look, I don’t care how hungover you are. I spoke to a fucking Goddess last night, and I am not getting mixed up with another bunch of Immortals with more power than brains!”

“Bert?” Bell said quietly.

“What, Bell?” He sighed in frustration.

She pointed over his shoulder at the room behind him.

Bert turned.

The room was almost full. Everywhere he looked, the seats were filled… with Gods. He didn’t recognize any of them but didn’t need to. There were robes, togas, laurels, and multiple heads. And nudity. Only Gods could get away with that much casual nudity.

“Oh, For fuck sake!” Bert sighed.

“What?” Bert said after a minute of silence.

“That was an insult, mortal,” A large man stood from his chair. His muscles rippled. He had a war axe in his hand. “I, as War, can not have that!”

“So you are smarter than you are powerful, brother?” A thin androgynous figure hidden in robes asked.

“Of course not!” War laughed. “My power is boundless!”

“Then there was no insult?” The robed figure offered.

“Not to me,” War said, “What of the others?”

“Would any here claim their intelligence outstrips their power?” A large woman with a huge swollen belly asked.

One hand raised.

“I think I am smarter than I am powerful, Great Mother. Yet I am smart enough not to take offense.” The speaker appeared to be a gecko with spectacles on.

“Then there is no insult, War.” She glared at him.

“As you say,” He smiled at Bert happily and settled back down on the chair.

“Okay, anyone… what the fuck is going on?” Bert asked.

“Do you wish to die, mortal?” A raspy voice chuckled from the back. They were the most beautiful person Bert had ever seen.

“Mostly no,” Bert shrugged, “But I’m not kissing someone’s arse to live a little longer either.”

“We are The Gods, child.” The one they called the Great Mother said sharply.

“Are you the gods of Earth?” he asked.

“No, but we are of this world.” She replied.

“Then you aren’t my Gods.” He shrugged. “Bell, what’s going on?”

“No idea,” She shrugged. “They just appeared here a few minutes ago and wouldn’t tell me why.” She frowned. “They called me the help, and they didn’t answer the help.”

“Really?” Bert said brightly. “Okay, if you don’t want to talk to Bell, you can all get the fuck out.”

Shocked faces around the room, except for the strangely attractive one and the gecko, who were both hiding smiles.

“You would dare throw the Gods out?” Great Mother said lightly.

Bert saw his companions wince.

“Do you not have the Rules of Hospitality in this world?”

He saw several of the Gods wince.

So they did.

“You have come, uninvited, into our home and demanded welcome. You have shown disrespect to my Family. You have refused to give the reason for your visit and threatened me and mine with violence not once but twice.” He smirked. “It seems the manners of the Gods have lessened in my trip between worlds.”

The Great Mother stood and bowed stiffly to Bert, Bell, and the others.

“You speak the truth. We have acted without thought or courtesy. We will leave but shall return later this day. I ask welcome as a traveler.”

Bert tried to remember the rules in detail. It had been a long time since that book on the customs of the Danes… he was pretty sure they were safe.

“And welcome, you will be, as any peaceful traveler is welcome in this home. “ He bowed back.

The Gods faded, one by one.

Eventually, only four remained. The gecko, the attractive… person, War, and a little girl with a sinister smile. War gave him a wink and vanished. The little girl plopped herself on the attractive one's lap.

“May we three remain, Mistress Bell of the Waystation?” They said.

“Okay,” Bell shrugged. “Want something to drink?”

“Water,” The gecko said.

“Death Mead would be nice.” The person said.

“Blood!” The girl giggled. “No, Juice!” She frowned.

“Blood Berry Juice?” Bell offered.

The girl nodded happily.

“Any chance you will tell us why you are here?” Bert asked.

“No, sorry. That is for the Great Mother. But right now, Bert, we are here to drink and to talk to you.” The person said as the Gecko joined their table. “This is Invention,” They gestured to the Gecko, “My sister, Misfortune, and I am, of course, Death.” Death smiled.

“Of fucking course you are,” Bert chuckled bitterly.

Death laughed.

Bell came back in with the drinks, levitating them over to the table and settling in on Bert’s shoulder.

They watched the Gods drink in silence.

“I love what you did with that arm,” Invention said. “Can I examine it a little closer?”

“As long as you don’t remove it or modify it… sure.” Bert said and sat next to the gecko, holding his arm out for him to examine.

“Do you like it?” Misfortune asked.

“I guess,” Bert said. “It is very useful.” He would not admit that he liked anything in front of these Immortals.

“Yes, he likes it very much.” Death grinned at him. “And no, he did not like the roof falling on him.”

“That was so funny,” Misfortune giggled.

Invention spent a good twenty minutes examining the arm before saying it was just as they thought and thanked Bert.

“You mortals are strange creatures,” Death chuckled. “You sit here with me, unafraid in the very face of Death, while my own acolytes cower in their room upstairs.”

“Reed and Lowes?” Bert said. “I suppose that makes sense, given their jobs.”

“Would you cower before your Gods?” Death asked.

“No,” Bert said happily. “My Gods do not ask us to cower or lower ourselves.”

“Would you bow to them?” Death asked.

“For them? I would kneel.” Bert said.

“Fascinating!” Death laughed. “And how did they earn this respect.”

“By never demanding it,” Bert said seriously. “And never pretending to be perfect.”

“And if you knew your Gods were downstairs, would you hide?” Death turned his eyes up toward where Reed and Lowes’ room was.

“No, I’d climb out the window and run like hell.” Bert grinned.

“Reed, Lowes, come down here.” Death intoned. “I offer them no ill will.”

“You offer no one ill will,” Bert said. “You’re Death; the ill will comes before that and sometimes after.”

Reed and Lowes appeared from two nearby shadows.

Death nodded to his siblings, who faded with a wave.

“Death, end of all.” Reed and Lowes bowed.

“Come, dear friends, and sit with me a while.” Death said gently. “I wish for a quiet moment with you both.” Death turned to Bert, “Off you go now; I think your idea is a good one.”

Bert nodded grimly and walked out of the Bear’s Fall with Bell still on his shoulder.

=============

“Wendy, can you go get Scruff?” Bert called to her as he approached the Express.

“Sure, Dad. What’s up?” She called back.

“You’re going on a little trip,” Bert said.

He turned away as Bud ran up to him.

“Hey, Boss. Can I ask a favor?” He seemed anxious.

“Sure, Bud,” Bert said.

“Can I send Tim with the girls?” He said. “I know he’s not really a child, but….”

“Good idea,” Bert nodded. “What about the orcs?”

“I asked, but they said they would rather head into the city.” Bud shrugged.

“Okay, but tell them to stay away from any church or that fucking tower.”

“You got it, Boss.” Bud waved and ran back toward the gatehouse.

Bert spent a few minutes loading supplies into the Express while Bell assembled supplies for the Orcs. They had no idea how long a trip this would be for either group, so they wanted them to have everything they could carry.

Tim came bounding over, hugged Bert, and scrambled inside the Express.

“Dad!” Wendy called. “Can you come help? She’s being difficult.”

Bert ground his teeth and stalked over the bridge, finding Wendy and Scruff facing off against each other.

“I’m not going!” Scruff said with determination. “I won’t abandon my plants!”

“Please!” Wendy said. “I don’t want anything happening to you.”

Scruff looked shocked but refused to budge.

“Wendy, give me a sec here,” Bert said.

“Fine!” Wendy stomped off. “But she’s coming if I have to drive the Express over there to get her!”

Scruff stared at him, “What?”

“Please, Scruff?” Bert tried. “This is serious shit, actual Gods.”

“And you’re trying to sideline me again!” She ground her teeth. “I’m not weak!”

“I know that, you idiot!” Bert snapped, feeling bad about it but not having time to do this subtly. ”I get that; that’s why I want you with them.”

“What?” She asked suspiciously.

“I want you to take as many plants as you can with you and look after Wendy and Tim.” Bert slumped onto a stair. “This is not exactly an ideal situation, but I want to do the best I can. I can’t be everywhere. If you are with them, I will at least be able to worry less about you lot.”

“Oh,” Scruff said. “Okay, I guess.”

“Thanks, Scruff.” Bert smiled at her. “Be careful out there, please. And no big risks. Wendy is brave, but she’s young and doesn’t know how harsh the world can be. You do. I want you all back safe and sound, okay?”

“All of us?” Scruff asked, blushing slightly.

“Scruff?” He sighed.

“What?”

“Stop being surprised we care about you. Adapt, okay?” He grinned at her.

“Asshole,” She laughed.

“Well?” Wendy called.

“I’m coming!” Scruff yelled back. “I’m bringing plants!”

“Well, duh!” Wendy giggled.

Bert shook his head and asked Way Way where Bell was.

He found her in the command tower, watching the coming storm as the two groups left the Waystation.

“How’s it going, Bell?” He asked.

“I don’t like it.” She huffed.

“They’ll be okay,” Bert reassured her.

“I know.” She snapped. “I can still be pissed!”

“Yup.” Bert nodded.

“We are going to get our own back, right?” She asked. “Somehow?”

“I have no idea,” Bert laughed. “But we can sure try.”

“Bert?” She asked.

“Yes, Bell?”

“If they get hurt, any of them… I’m driving over every temple, church, sacred place, or object of worship I see.”

“You got that right!” Bert grinned. “Twice.”

“Just to make sure,” She giggled.

“It’s just attention to detail, really.” He laughed.

They headed down the tower, finding Reed and Lowes waiting for them.

“What’s up, guys?” Bert asked.

“We have a mission,” Lowes said. “One that involves saving a life, for a change.”

“It is quite exciting, really,” Reed grinned.

“You just thought Death was cute,” Lowes joked.

“Didn’t you?” Reed asked.

Lowes actually blushed.

“That’s a yes!” Bert laughed. He hugged them both and wished them luck on their travels. They were apparently leaving immediately.

“Stick together, okay?” Bert said in parting, “And come back safe.”

“Oh, we’ll be back.” Reed grinned as he faded into the shadows.

Lowes bowed and vanished.

“Always the theatrical!” Bert yelled. “We have doors and everything!”

Bell giggled.

“Slothy won’t go!” Bud came running over to them. “I tried everything.”

Bert and Bell hurried with Bud to find Slothy sitting inside the Barn; claws dug deeply into the earth.

“Slothy!” Bert called. “We just want you to be safe.”

She shook her head.

“It could be dangerous here,” Bell said.

Slothy just huffed.

“Fine!” Bert growled. “You can stay in the Barn. But no going outside for any reason until one of us comes to get you, okay?” he looked sternly at her.

She licked his face and grabbed him into a big hug.

“Okay, okay!” He laughed. “Yes, yes. Good girl.” He could fit in a one-armed hug these days. Slothy was growing up fast.

After a minute, he managed to extricate himself and joined Bell and Bud outside.

“They’ll be back soon,” Bud said.

“Yup.” Bert agreed.

=============

They chatted as they prepared for the return of the Gods. It had been a long time since it had just been the three of them and Slothy on the Waystation, and Bert found it bolstered his spirits a little.

“Hey, Boss. What kind of stories did they tell about the Gods of your world?” Bud asked as they prepared another platter.

“Well, it was as varied as the Gods themselves.” Bert grinned. “There was definitely a common theme, though.” He thought of the best way to put it. “On Earth, all the old stories agree that the best a mortal like us can hope for is to pass our entire lives without the direct attention of any one God or Goddess.”

“How come?” Bell asked as she moved about tables and chairs with a wave of her hand.

“Well, our Gods were a complex lot. They were more than simple representations or embodiments of their concepts. They had personalities, flaws, and triumphs just like us. In the old stories, the mortal who caught the attention of a particular God or Goddess was drawn into their conflicts with other Gods. That never ended well.”

“So they fucked with people?” Bell laughed.

“Sometimes, but you had to go out of your way to get their attention. Normally, anyway,” He said.

“Is that why you are so wary of Immortals?” Bud asked.

“Not really,” Bert shrugged and put down the stack of plates. “Think of it like this… If you have a lifetime of a hundred years and meet someone for a single afternoon, do you care what happens to them in the same way as someone you know your whole life?”

“No, obviously,” Bell said.

“To an Immortal, that hundred years can be less than five minutes would be to us. Let alone a whole afternoon. Their viewpoint is skewed.” Bert said. “In short, they just don’t realize how we perceive things, in the same way we can’t understand them.”

“You think?” Bud asked.

“Let’s say you find a creature that lives for a few hours, say. That is their entire life. Can you understand it, how it sees the world?” He asked. “To him, a puddle that is gone by midday would be a permanent, unchanging feature he had known his whole life. He may construct his whole life around it.”

Bud nodded.

“But that puddle is also in the middle of your kitchen floor. Say, a spill or something. You come down later than usual and see it… so you clean it up.” He nodded. “You just destroyed that creature's entire life. They will never find another puddle. Chances are you didn’t notice it in the first place, will not notice it later, and its body will be swept out with the dust.”

“Fuck,” Bell said. “I never even notice stuff like that.”

“No one does,” Bert laughed. “If you tried, it would take up your entire life.”

“So, what’s the answer?” Bud asked.

“There isn’t one,” Bert said simply. “It can’t be fixed, and it can’t be changed. It just is.”

“Thanks for mentioning that; just as the Immortals are about to arrive,” Bell shivered. “I’m completely relaxed now.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

“You should be,” Bert said happily. “They couldn’t possibly give a shit about us, not really. So whatever they are here for, it is not us.”

“I think you might be surprised, Bert J. Hudson.” A casual voice called from the doorway.

==============

Bell squealed in joy as Bert turned a bemused look to the average-looking man leaning against the doorway.

“Oh! Oh! I knew it!” Bell swirled around the room in joy.

“Um, Hi?” Bert said.

“Hello, cousins!” The man called happily. “I am the Oncoming Storm, but call me Jerry; everyone else does.” He was dressed in simple leathers that covered everything up to the neck. A bow was strung over his shoulder, and green fletched arrows peaked out of the quiver. It was strange how average he seemed. He had close-cropped hair, a normal face… normal everything except his eyes. They shone with an inner light. The pupils looked like stormy skies in autumn.

That wasn’t what froze Bert in place.

It was the Knotwork Mana Channels that did that.

He was Fae.

“I’m Bert, that’s Bell, and this is Bud,” Bert said at last. “Fancy a drink?”

“Not half! I’ve been riding for light-years, and I could murder a pint; cheers!”

Bell clicked her fingers, and a mug of mead appeared in front of the man. He grabbed it from the air as he stepped inside.

The Great Mother loomed into the doorway behind him.

“I have come, as I said–” She began.

“Give us a minute, will you, chubby?” Jerry said, kicking the door closed behind him. “This is a family reunion, for fuck sake!”

He pulled a stool up to the counter and sat down.

“Chubby?” Bert chuckled.

“Oh, she can fuckin wait,” Jerry said as he sipped his mead. “They only turned up to try and get in good with the Court anyway.” He laughed. “She ain’t gonna do shit.”

Bell was looking back and forth between Bert and Jerry thoughtfully.

“What?” They both said.

“I think maybe you get your manners from the Fae?” Bell giggled.

“What manners?” Both men grinned.

“Oh, Bud, come over here, will ya, lad?” Jerry waved. “I got a present for ya!”

“Really?” Bud asked.

“Yup. Me and the lads saw you fighting in that little set-to you had with those rude fucking humans a while back. That was a blinding bit of shooting there, lad.”

“Thanks,” Bud nodded.

“So, well, here.” Jerry handed him the bow he had strung on his back with the quiver as well. “One of the artisans made it for ya special.” he beamed.

“Wow, thanks!” Bud took the bow and then froze. “Really?”

Fae-Bow of the Champion

This bow was constructed for the Waystation Gnork Bud, a true champion of the Fae. May he live in joy forever!

Self Repairing

Unerring Aim

Quiver of Limitless Arrows

“You deserve it, cousin!” Jerry laughed. “We are proud of you lot!”

He turned to Bell and looked sorrowful.

“What?” She asked suspiciously.

“I don’t have a gift for you or Bert, I’m afraid.” He shrugged. “That Ringer of yours can’t be beat, and his arm is kinda awesome as well.” He laughed again. “Was fun watching the artisans lose their minds trying to come up with something better!”

The door burst open, and War strode into the room with literal fire in his eyes.

“Who called the Great Mother chubby!” He bellowed.

“Ah, fuck off, shorty!” Jerry called.

War roared and rushed at the Fae. Bert tried to get in the way but was too slow.

Jerry turned, flicked the huge War on the head, and laughed as the God froze in place. “Come on, you, outside.” He reached out a hand and levitated the giant out the door. He winked at Bert and the others, “There’s always one, eh?”

“Who are you to do this to a God!” War snarled as he was released a good few meters away from Jerry, who was stretching.

“Me, I’m Jerry.” He said, still stretching.

“Tell me your title so that all may know who I crushed this day!” War roared back.

“Okay,” Jerry shrugged and took a deep breath, “Jerandreth the Oncoming Storm, the harbinger of the Court of the Autumn Winds,” He kept going as War paled and Jerry grew in size, “Champion to the Lord and Lady of the Autumn Court, Holder of the Lightning Flame, Weilder of Winter’s Promise and Calamity of The Endless Wastes.” By this time, he was taller than the control tower and floating an inch above the floor. “Or we can go with Jerry?” He grinned as lightning flashed in his mouth.

“I… uh…” War hesitated.

“Changed your mind?” Jerry asked. “Great!” He shrank back down in a flash of light. “I like a man who can see a mistake and admit it!” He patted the sweating God on the back.

“Wow,” Bert said to Bud, who just nodded silently, still staring at his new bow.

“As for the rest of you?” Jerry said to the dozens of watching Gods. “I will relay your interest to my Lord and Lady; in the meantime… behave or fuck off!”

“You two are definitely related,” Bell giggled.