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Posted on dA and FA, but forgot to here, so here's the recent follow up to the previous update:  https://www.deviantart.com/desireeu/journal/HIATUS-family-loss-794659658 

I'm officially back home, and while to the public I will be inactive a bit more, I'm still trying my best to already get back into work. I'm sketching the Patreon rewards as we speak and should have a couple ones done by tonight/tomorrow, I admit that I feel like my art is not as good as usual, but maybe it's just me..? Haven't drawn in a couple weeks and fighting artblock due to the recent events... I also have no choice but work on adopts, or open up more commissions soon, since I have a lot of money to make up;;; I have a small set of adopts ready, will post here soon for preclaim.

(Basically, I've spent around €1000 between tickets for me, my brother and mom to go back and forth Sardinia, and also to cover at least the flowers for my father's wake and funeral. €350 were gifted by various relatives, and thanks to you lovely patrons I've covered another €150-ish, but I still have the €500 to give back to the people I've loaned from...me and my brother also came back home to most of the groceries -veggies, fruit, bread and meat/fish- expired, and to the electricity bill, so we need money for that too.  So in total I'd need to make around €700. My brother's birthday is also on the 30th of this month and wanted to get him something nice, but I guess it's optional and only if I can;;; )

Thanks to everyone for being so patient with me. I feel so empty right now and feel like doing nothing, so super sorry in advance for the art block...it's even more frustrating because I have to force myself to draw right away because of the money issues, when I still need time to grieve and I just...I have very conflicted feelings. I feel like I'm disrespecting my father, my commissioners and even myself to focus on making money so soon, I feel very bad about it;;; Do you have any other idea on how to go about this?
Sorry for the rambling, and thanks once again for your support and patience. If it weren't for you guys, I don't know how I'd go on ♥

Comments

Societte

Perhaps working will help get your mind off of things? Hard to say. Though you need to do what is best for you, so if you need more time, you should take it. Only you know what is best for you in these situations.

Timothy Conmy

While I am glad to see you back after such a development. Sorry that you have to pretty much throw yourself back into working immediately afterwards without much extra time to process and deal with everything that happened. Though I understand that unfortunately, time doesn't just slow down and allow for such things when bills have to be paid. Just hope you do what is best for you there, Desi! If I have any extra funds later int he month I'll see what I can do about sending some your way to help out. ^^

Mica Night

Hay dear, welcome back, life is harsh and doesn't wait for emotions. It sounds harsh but I even recommend you to continue your life just as it was before. Like that you won't end up stagnate in your grief. As for your money issues: i would like to commission you with a big ref sheet for around 250€. Finish date? Around August or September ? What do you say? I have a bit of a money buffer at the moment, so if you're up to it, i'll send you more and about a small reward we just talk another time. Sorry for being like that, but I think you shouldn't stop your life because of it. Remember the good memories. I'll stay your back up. Best wishes. Mica

desireeu

It's what I thought too, I tried drawing during the two weeks I've been away, and as soon as I got back home now, but it's...really hard. I have this huge art block, I can't sketch anything new, I feel uninspired even to continue wips. Maybe it's because my father was the only one to genuinely care and support me about art as a career, so it's a constant reminder. I don't know...but I'll push myself to draw myself for sure. I have to, ahah c,: Thanks a lot Tia ♥♥♥ (also I've noticed it's a while you're not claiming rewards, please let me know what I can do for you ;v; )

desireeu

Thanks dear ♥ Yeah...I feel very bad about it. I really wish I didn't -have- to work immediately, especially on new stuff. I owe people enough already, ahah;;; Thanks a lot for all your kind words ♥♥♥

desireeu

Thank you so much Mica ♥ You're so very right, I feel so guilty about having to move on like everything is normal so soon...but I guess that's how life is. I've always been very emotional so it's hard for me, but I know you're telling me for my own good (and since you've been through a similar experience; sorry I didn't feel like replying back then, but thanks for sharing your personal experience and for all your kind words ♥) Oh, really?? Thank you so much ;w; Not gonna lie, that would help a lot, and the timeframe is very generous too ;v; If you want, feel free to note me the details on Furaffinity any time so we can discuss things! No need to be sorry, I really, REALLY appreciate the help and support. I'll do my best to get back on my feet by next week and continue work normally. Thanks dear ♥♥♥