"You'll Die Alone" (Patreon)

Hey, lovely patrons!

There's been a request from some of y'all about releasing the interstitial segments as their own separate thing (for ease of re-listening) and we're working on ways to do that without overflowing your inboxes, BUT, in the meantime, I thought it might be fun to release Dr. Samuel Bultch, D.D.S.' "You'll Die Alone" as a bit of bobus content. Enjoy!

Lurv,
The Worst of All Possible A.J.'s

“You’ll Die Alone”
Music by Jonathan Larson
Lyrics by Dr. Samuel Bultch, D.D.S.
Feat. Eleanor Philips as "Roger"

JOHN:
DON’T THINK TOO DEEP
TRY NOT TO BARF
DIVE INTO MARK
TOSS YOUR KNITTED SCARF

FRESHMAN YEAR SUCKED
SOPHOMORE YEAR BLEW
BUT NOW YOU’LL SHOW
WHAT YOU CAN DO

YOU’RE SINGING A ROCK OPERA
IN A HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM

YOU’RE SINGING A ROCK OPERA
TO PROVE THEATER CAN BE COOL
AND WHEN YOU’RE SINGING A ROCK OPERA
IN A HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM
YOU FRIGGIN’ RULE.

ROGER:
THE FILMMAKER’S SEVENTEEN

JOHN:
AND THE SONGWRITER CANNOT DRIVE

ROGER:
BUT I LIKE DINA AND HER HAIR

JOHN:
TARA DOESN'T KNOW THAT I'M ALIVE

ROGER:
JUST BROADEN YOUR SHOULDERS

JOHN:
JUST PINCH YOUR VOICE TILL YOU WHINE

ROGER:
AND SAY FUCK YOU

BOTH:
TO HAMMERSTEIN

YOU’RE SINGING A ROCK OPERA
IN A HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM
YOU’RE SINGING A ROCK OPERA
SO YOUR CRUSH WILL NOTICE YOU
CAUSE WHEN YOU’RE SINGING A ROCK OPERA
IN A HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM
YOU’RE FRIGGIN’ SCREWED.

SO THE JOCKS MAY MAKE THEIR CHARM FELT
THROW THEIR BALL, AND CALL, US GAY
WATCH THEM MELT WHEN WE BELT
AN A!

JOHN:
WHAT WAS IT ABOUT THAT NIGHT?

ROGER:
WHAT WAS IT ABOUT THAT NIGHT?

BOTH:
THE BASEMENT
IN TARA COOPER'S PLACE

JOHN:
FOR ONCE, THE COOL KIDS GAVE ME BUD LIGHT

ROGER:
FOR ONCE, THE COOL KIDS GAVE ME BUD LIGHT

BOTH:
FOR ONCE I GOT TO SUCK SOME FACE!

JOHN:
TARA I HEAR YOU
WAIT, WHAT THE-?
I SEE YOU!
SHE’S SITTING RIGHT THERE!

TARA, IT’S JOHN
CALL ME THEATER KID!
BUT WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?
YOU WON’T?
OH SHIT!

ROGER:
DINA I LIKE YOU
I’LL DO IT!
I’LL DO IT!
I’LL ASK YOU TO PROM!

DINA SAID NO
GUESS I’LL JUST DIE!

BOTH:

REJECTED IN AMERICA
IN A HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM
REJECTED IN AMERICA
I GUESS WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
CAUSE WHEN YOU’RE SINGING A ROCK OPERA
IN A HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM

YOU’LL DIE ALONE!
YOU’LL DIE ALONE!
YOU’LL DIE ALONE!