Minisode 9 - Ketchup Grand Prix (Patreon)

Welcome folks! On this sunny July day, we’re glad to have you join us for the ONE, the ONLY: KETCHUP GPX!!! Seven bottles enter, but only one will come out on top. A battle of the highest importance, judged by the most cutting edge scientists the world has to offer. Folks, we’ve got underdogs, we’ve got returning champions, but most of all…we’ve got no clue how it’s gonna go! It’s anyone’s game! But first we’d like to tell you a little about who makes this all possible. This once-in-a-lifetime event is proudly brought to you by your local SONIC® Drive-In and their brand new Pickle Juice Slushie, pick one up today, or try one of their four other new flavors:

* Phone Game Ads
* Soldering
* Tattoos
* Differences in the Taste of Ice

That’s right, the sweet taste of Phone Game Ads are now available in slushie form, ready for you to ignore! Ignore the subtle hints of diamonds, gems, coins and more and get right back to suckin’ on that fat straw of content. (Ice, cup, and syrup flavoring not included, available in SlushBoxes for only $4.99!)

Afraid of metal? Don’t be, with the new Soldering Slushie! Melt those summertime blues (and old solder) away with it’s flavor punch of burning circuits with a hint of flesh! (Caution: Soldering Slushie requires three to four adult human hands to operate, not for children under three.)

*SLURRRP* MMMMM! What’s that taste? Well, it’s the taste of PBR, sushi, and Wild Berry Pop-Tart vape juice in our new Tattoo Slushie! Our engineers have whipped this one up with a special treat! It leaves a permanent tattoo on your tongue, with 25% less pain than a normal tattoo! Choose between a Celtic band, an anchor, and a fierce samurai warrior!

You thought that was all? Oh no my friend, we saved the best for last. We’ve gathered 124 different types of ice from refrigerators around the world to bring you the Funky Tasting Ice Slushie! Is it the vague taste of frozen chili? Is it the smell of frozen garlic bread? Is that a tiny piece of broccoli? The answers are YES, YES, and YES!

Thanks Patrons! We hope you enjoy this XXXL Not-So-Minisode experiment. Let us know how much you loved it in the comments or in our Discord.