Hermione and the Watch Part 17 (Patreon)

Ron worked on drying his hair with a towel as he walked out of the bathroom and into the common area. “Now that I’m actually awake, why were you already awake and showered?”

Harry looked up from reading one of the ritual books he’d borrowed from their growing collection of ‘liberated’ books. He grinned slightly as he pictured the look on Ron’s face if he told him the truth, that he’d just spent a decent amount of time shagging the girls in the shower. ‘Pity I can’t rewind time with the watch.’ He shrugged. “I wanted an early start and you can take a longer shower if you get up earlier.” ‘Or can freeze time,’ he thought.

“I’d rather sleep,” Ron complained.

“Suit yourself,” Harry replied as he went back to reading his book.

“What are you reading?” Ron asked as he worked on pulling his pants on.

“A defense book Hermione found, it’s pretty good,” Harry replied, technically some of the rituals were defensive in nature though he doubted Ron would see it that way considering the almost blanket ban on ritual magic in England thanks to the idiots in the Ministry.

“What are you reading it for?” Ron asked, confused why Harry was reading stuff for Defense when they didn’t even have a replacement teacher yet.

Harry looked up at Ron. “Why do most people read defense books, Ron?”

“Because they’re assigned in class,” Ron answered as he pulled his jumper over his head.

“And here I thought it was because they wanted to learn something,” Harry replied as he went back to reading the rather interesting and somewhat terrifying ritual about increasing your skin’s durability and magic resistance. ‘That would be more useful if it didn’t wither something else to pay for the boost.’

“Blimey, I think Hermione has infected you,” Ron complained as he worked on pulling on his socks.

Harry sighed as he put his bookmark in his book. “So? We have a homicidal lunatic running around that wants me dead. I seriously doubt he’s going to be defeated by the power of love or kindness or even a Care Bear Stare.”

“A what?” Ron asked in confusion.

“It’s a muggle thing,” Harry replied, thinking about the girls he’d overheard talking about it back in primary school. “They’re magic talking bears with magic symbols on their chests that shoot beams of happiness and light.”

“That’s insane, you realize that right?” Ron asked smugly.

“I also realize that it’s fiction. That doesn’t change the fact that Riddle wants me dead.”

Ron snorted. “Reading a book isn’t going to stop him. He’s killed plenty of experienced wizards. Besides, there is plenty of time for learning defense in class now that we have a proper teacher.”

“Dumbledore is still alive, so obviously he’s not Merlin or all powerful,” Harry pointed out.

“That’s Dumbledore,” Ron replied flippantly. 

“So, I’m supposed to what, ignore him and hope he goes away?” Harry demanded getting frustrated about the wizarding world’s lack of drive.

“No you’re supposed to shut up about You Know Who being back!” Seamus snapped from his bed.

Harry turned to look at Seamus. “You’ve known me four years, going on five. Have I ever wanted attention outside of Quidditch?”

“At this point I don’t really care, you called me’ Mum stupid,” Seamus snapped.

Harry briefly considered dropping it then glared at his former friend. “Considering the lies the Prophet are spewing, you’d have to be terminally stupid to believe that shit but you know what, I don’t care.” He raised his voice over Seamus’s protests, “If you want to bury your head in the sand, be my guest. As soon as I finish my OWLS I’m done with this stupid sheep fucking country and I’m going somewhere people have a fucking spine.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Ron sputtered.

“It’s simple, the Minister of Magic wants to smear my name, keep in mind this is the same piece of shit that put Hagrid in a prison guarded by soul sucking abominations because he wanted to be seen doing things. So, yeah, at the end of the year, I’m taking my gold and I’m leaving.”

“That’s because you’re lying and destabilizing things,” Seamus complained.

“You know what? Fuck you, fuck your mother with a horse cock-” Harry cut off as Seamus jumped at him and punched him sending him staggering backwards.

Neville stepped forward and grabbed Seamus before he could take a second swing. “That’s enough!”

“At least I have a mother!” Seamus shouted as he tried to get out of Neville’s grasp.

Ron winced as Seamus took the low shot. “Watch it!”

Harry ‘calmly’ reached up and wiped the blood off his lips. “Traditionally this is where I challenge him to a wizard dual, right?”

“Traditionally,” Neville agreed, not particularly amused at Seamus’ crack about Harry’s mother.

“In that case, let’s find Flitwick,” Harry said as he stalked out of the room.

“You’re on!” Seamus snapped then went pale a couple seconds later as he realized he’d just challenged someone that had survived the Triwizard tournament and had a legitimate reason to thrash him. “Shit!”

Neville let go of Seamus then followed Harry out, not sure if he wanted to calm his friend down or offer to be his second after the crack Seamus had made about Harry’s mother.

“You’re an idiot,” Dean said as he finished putting his shoes on

Seamus turned to look at Dean. “You don’t think I can take him?”

Dean snorted as he thought about some of the stuff Harry had done over the last couple years compared to Seamus’s less than stellar skill set. “Not on your best day and his worst.”

Ron shook his head, reasonably sure Harry would calm down before finding Flitwick.

0o0o0

“Did you really challenge Seamus to a duel?” Hermione asked as she sat down next to Harry at the Gryffindor table.

Harry glanced over at McGonagall who was scowling at him. “Yeah, sadly McGonagall decided to take points rather than let us duel.”

Hermione glared at McGonagall for a couple seconds then turned to look at Fred and George as she asked in a raised voice, “How much much money do you want to make Seamus’s life hell for the next couple weeks?”

“Mrs. Granger!” McGonagall snapped.

Hermione turned to look at McGonagall. “Yes?”

“You can’t just hire people to harass people!”

“Tell that to the Ministry, they do it all the time and print lies so I think you’ll find that I can,” Hermione said cheerfully, having had enough shit from various members of the staff that she didn’t really care about being a ‘good’ little student anymore.

“20 points from Gryffindor for lack of respect!” Snape snapped.

Harry ignored the people staring at him as he stood up. “You might as well make it a thousand.”

“What are you talking about?” McGonagall asked.

Harry turned his head slightly to look at McGonagall. “Between Snape and the toad the points are even more of a joke than previous years. I’d lodge an official complaint but my head of house lacks a spine or any desire to fix it.”

“Detention!” Snape snapped.

“No,” Harry replied as he turned to look at Snape. “You’re a fucking marked Death Eater. I don’t know or care what lies you told to get out of prison but I’ll be withdrawing from the school if you’re still teaching here at the end of the day.”

“50 points for slander!” Snape snapped.

“Slander would have to be untrue,” Hermione pointed out as Dumbledore walked into the great hall.

“Shut up Granger,” Snape said as he drew his wand.

“What is going on here!” Dumbledore demanded.

“Potter is grandstanding,” Snape snapped.

“I’m tired of Snape’s shit!” Harry shouted to make sure he was heard. “He pulled a wand on us, either he goes or I’m withdrawing.”

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” Snape said snidely.

“Severus,” Dumbledore warned, annoyed that the man couldn’t behave himself.

Neville spoke up, “I’m sending a letter to my grandmother about Snape’s harassment!”

“And my aunt!” Susan Bones spoke up, seeing a chance to get rid of Snape once and for all.

“Let’s start a letter campaign!” George shouted.

“Down with Snape!” Ginny shouted.

“Killer of hopes and dreams,” Luna agreed loudly from the Ravenclaw table.

McGonagall snapped, “Potter my office, now!”

Harry snorted as the shouts died down. “No, you’ve ignored every complaint I’ve ever brought to you, you’re a shitty Deputy Headmistress and a worse head of house!”

Snape sent a stunner at Harry, knowing Dumbledore would have to fire him or at least suspend him which would give him the perfect chance to deal with some of the worst Death Eaters and work on his own research. He blinked as Harry vanished from his spot next to the Gryffindor table and reappeared standing on the table in front of him. He barely had enough time to try to bring his wand up before Potter kicked him in the chin, which sent him and his chair over backwards.

Dumbledore stared in disbelief as Harry proceeded to pummel his Potions teacher. “Enough!”

Harry sighed as everything went quiet and Snape froze with a look of shocked disbelief on his face that made him want to smile despite being in serious trouble. “Sorry, he tossed a spell at me and I just reacted.”

“I’m reasonably sure it was just a stunner,” Hermione said as she pocketed the stopwatch she’d just used to freeze time and walked around the staff table.

“I’m not willing to bet my life on reasonably sure,” Harry complained as he kicked Snape in the side in frustration.

“Any idea how we’re going to avoid getting expelled?” Hermione asked, hoping Harry had some ideas as she didn’t feel like telling her parents she’d gotten expelled for insulting a teacher.

Harry sighed as he turned and looked at McGonagall who had her wand out. “Do we really want to avoid getting expelled?”

“I’d rather not give Snape the satisfaction of getting us expelled,” Hermione replied, knowing her parents wouldn’t be happy about her getting expelled.

“Agreed, but that doesn’t change the fact that most of the classes are useless. Astronomy lacks the maths or actual science to do anything with in the real world, History only covers a fragment of wizarding history which is pretty much useless outside Britain and divination is useless or at least the stuff Trelawney teaches is useless unless you actually have the gift. Hagrid’s class is hit or miss and really nothing we couldn’t learn by asking him or looking at a book.”

“And Sirius could easily cover Transfiguration and Charms,” Hermione agreed a touch reluctantly.

“The only thing I’ll miss is quidditch,” Harry said absently as he considered various ways to get them out of the mess he’d gotten them in.

“Enough to stay?” Hermione asked warily.

“Probably, if we can get rid of Snape and McGonagall starts actually doing her job. Do we have any polyjuice left?” Harry asked, hoping she’d found some more in the random junk they’d looted.

Hermione shook her head. “Nothing that I’d trust to work.”

“Rats,” Harry muttered. “It would have been a nice way to frame Seamus or a Death Eater.”

“Or the Minister,” Hermione mused.

“I’m listening,” Harry said with amusement as he walked around the table.

“Framing the Death Eaters wouldn’t work, they trust Snape to deal with Hogwarts and framing Seamus would probably get him expelled and I’m not that angry with him,” Hermione admitted.

Harry sighed after he realized that she had a point. “Getting him expelled might be overkill.”

“The Ministry on the other hand would love nothing better than to discredit you. The only problem is we can’t really afford to restart time to set Fudge up.”

“Not right now but if we can find some polyjuice we trust I could drink it right before you restart time and change into one of Fudge’s toadies. They’ll stun me and then you freeze time, wake me up and we drop a corrupt auror in my place. They’ll haul him to the infirmary where we’ll have plenty of time to sneak in and set things up when no one is looking.”

Hermione shook her head. “Seems complicated and we’d have to time the potion and track down an auror that we don’t mind setting up. This would be easier with Tonks’ ability to change our faces.”

“How many Tonks steaks do you think we’d have to eat?” Harry asked, thinking they were also going to have to eat a wizarding owl if they wanted to track people down in a timely manner.

“No idea,” Hermione admitted. “We’ll have to run some tests.”

Harry frowned as he weighed his options and realized that he was proud of hitting Snape in the face and that framing someone would tarnish the memory for the students that had finally taken a stand. “Legally, the worst that happens if a fine, right?”

“Or you get expelled but I doubt Dumbledore would expel you for self defense, why?”

“Look around, Susan and Neville took a stand, several people are cheering. If we frame someone, that all goes away or is at least tarnished. Neville looks like he’s ready to battle a dragon or five, Colin has his camera and half the Hufflepuffs are cheering, I can’t take that away. I don’t want to take that away.”

Hermione snorted. “In other words, you want Snape to know you got away with punching him in the face, right?” she asked with amusement.

“Yep,” Harry agreed as he got back into the general position he was in when she’d frozen time.

“What happens if the aurors are called and they decide to lock you up?” Hermione asked more than a little concerned about Fudge being completely unreasonable.

“In that case, feel free to freeze time and we’ll head to the ministry and kill Fudge. I’m willing to pay a fine or serve a detention but I’m not going to Azkaban just because I punched Snape, that’s a public service. Besides, without Lucius around I doubt Snape has enough influence to make anything stick.”

“Fine, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” Hermione said as she reached into her pocket and pushed the button on her stopwatch as she hit 1. 

Harry managed to get in one more hit before Dumbledore’s stunner got him in the side and sent him down unconscious.

Dumbledore hit Snape as he reached for his wand. “I said enough!” he exclaimed in a voice that carried to the edges of the great hall and caused everyone to go quiet. He turned to look at Hermione. “Ms. Granger, come with us to the infirmary. I want to know what started this mess. Filius, please take care of the students while we sort this out.”

Minerva sighed as Dumbledore gestured and floated Harry and Snape into the air with a wave of his hand then headed for the exit with them floating after him. She winced slightly as she noticed Hermione’s glare.

Hermione turned and stalked out of the room after Dumbledore, doing her best to ignore her ex-favorite teacher as they headed to the infirmary. She forced herself to remember that legally there wasn’t much they could actually do to Harry outside of fine him and or expel him. Sadly that didn’t really help calm her down as the wizarding world had demonstrated on numerous occasions that the laws were more like vague guidelines.

Dumbledore carefully placed Snape on a bed as Poppy came out of her office.

“What happened?” Poppy asked as she started casting a diagnosis charm on Snape’s face which looked like it had been worked over by the Whomping Willow.

“Mr. Potter violently disagreed with Severus giving him detention,” Minerva said.

Dumbledore gestured and lowered Harry to the next bed. “Ms. Granger, perhaps you can shed some light on Harry’s actions?”

Hermione said, “From what Neville said, it started with Seamus Finnigan saying some things about Harry’s mother and hitting Harry in the face in the dorm. He apparently went to ask McGonagall for permission to duel him, she refused.”

“Of course I refused,” Minerva snapped. “We don’t fight duels over childish misunderstandings.”

Hermione glared at McGonagall. “From what Ron said, he implied that it was a good thing that Harry’s mother was dead then hit him, I find it hard to label that as a childish ‘misunderstanding’. Either way, I when I heard that nothing was going to be done about it, not even taking points for assaulting another student, I asked the twins how much to make Seamus’s life a living hell for the foreseeable future. The professor said that wasn’t how we did things, I pointed out that slander and lies were exactly how things were done in the Wizarding world then Snape started screaming about detention. Harry told him that he was a marked Death Eater and to basically fuck off and you saw the rest. He shot a spell at Harry and Harry defended himself.”

“You call that self defense?” Poppy sputtered as she finished healing Severus’s fractured cheekbone.

“Snape is a fully trained wizard and a known Death Eater, he shot a spell at Harry, a meer student,” Hermione stated. “What was he supposed to do, let it hit him?” she asked sarcastically.

“It was a stunner,” Minerva complained, annoyed that she had to defend Severus but she was implying that he’d attacked Harry with ill intent rather than just trying to contain the situation. “Mr. Potter was acting erratically.” 

“Snape is a marked Death Eater and a supposed master of the dark arts, for all I know he could make a killing curse or a blasting curse look like a stunner and the majority of the student population seems to find Harry’s actions not only acceptable but laudable, so who is acting erratically?”

Dumbledore sighed as he realized that Severus had played his role far too well over the years. 

“What possible reason would he have to attack Harry?” McGonagall asked.

“Let’s see, Harry reminds Snape of his father, Harry prevented Snape from killing Sirius back in third year, oh yeah, and Harry exists. That’s three off the top of my head, take your pick. Either way, since you’ve demonstrated a lack of ability to control him, it’s him or us.”

“You don’t mean that,” Minerva sputtered.

“Why not? He can’t teach worth shit. I don’t care how good he is at potions if he lacks the capacity or willingness to impart what he’s learned to his students outside of Slytherin thus he fails as a teacher. I don’t have any complaints about Professor Flitwick and Defense has been spotty at best outside of Professor Lupin and Moody. If you ignore ‘Moody’ being a Death Eater that used Harry to bring Riddle back to life.”

“On the upside, pulling off a dark ritual of that nature does speak well of his abilities,” Dumbledore mused.

“Albus!” Minerva snapped.

“Just saying, Lockhart was worse, though to be fair I was sort of hoping the curse would kill him,” Dumbledore muttered.

“Still doesn’t justifying screwing up a year of our education,” Hermione complained.

“I suppose not, but it’s annoyingly difficult to get a Defense teacher that isn't planning on sabotaging one side or the other.”

“Okay even ignoring Defense, Binns should be put to rest and a real teacher hired or at least talk to some of the rest of the ghosts to do lectures if you’re too cheap to replace him.”

Dumbledore shook his head. “Again, it’s not that easy, I’ve tried.”

“Tried what?” Hermione asked. “To get rid of him or to hire someone else?”

“Both, ignoring the governors not wanting to waste coin paying for a History teacher when they can have Binns teach for free, recent history is complicated and rife with political issues. It was advantageous for a while to have a history professor certain groups couldn’t kill. As for getting rid of Binns, he’ll be here as long as he has a job.”

“It’s tradition,” Minerva said weakly, thinking about her own experience with Binns.

“That and he doesn’t lie about it,” Dumbledore said cheerfully.

“There are a lot of stupid traditions around the world. Either way, Snape has made the house system a pointless joke. The caretaker likes to threaten students and Trelawney likes to predict horrible things. The school does a horrible job preparing us for the world outside of the wizarding world and a worse job preparing us to deal with the wizarding world.”

“What do you mean?” Dumbledore asked as Poppy hit Severus with an enervate.

Hermione snorted. “Unbreakable vows should have been covered in first year.”

“You want to teach first years an incredibly dangerous spell?” Minerva asked warily.

“Of course not but the rest of the world has some odd ideas about what magic can do, a general warning on the muggle born booklet that warns them about vows would have been nice.”

“No one would dare.”

“Bullshit and you know it. Unless you’re saying you couldn’t just tell the person that swore the vow to keep quiet about the group they’re part of. All it would take is one creative bastard without any morals and they’d have a ready made army because it’s not tradition to warn people about that shit. So yeah, no, please explain to me how Hogwarts actually prepares you to deal with the shit in the Wizarding culture? Was there a class that I didn’t see, a lecture I missed, oh wait, you don’t even do that.”

“What are you talking about?” Minerva snapped.

“Normal schools have often have guest lecturers or invite professionals to come talk about their jobs. Before the end of second year would have been a perfect time to have people talk about the upcoming classes and maybe do a bit of a job fair.” Hermione shook her head. “Never mind, the point is Hogwarts isn’t nearly as useful as it should be, so are you going to fire Snape or are we done?”

“The…” Snape paused slightly as he changed what he was going to say to something less nasty, “children have a point. Fire me, I have more important things I could be doing than teaching a bunch of spoiled brats how to avoid melting cauldrons in class. Voldemort is active and every moment that goes by he and his followers gain power and further entrench themselves in the ministry. I need to do what I can to slow that growth, not maintain a cover that is all but worthless at this time.”

“That is a good point,” Dumbledore admitted reluctantly. “Consider yourself fired.”

“What about Mr. Potter?” Minerva asked as she glanced over at Harry. “We have to set some type of example.”

“I was thinking about at least two ‘remedial’ detentions a week until the holidays. We’ve obviously failed him if he had to resort to muggle brawling. A bit of dueling practice would do him good.”

Minerva scowled at Dumbledore. “You realize this sets the wrong example, right?”

“Considering the sheer number of dark wizards that want him dead, he could use some practice. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find a potions instructor that won’t cause a revolt or secretly poison half the students,” Dumbledore replied as he turned and left. 

“Best of luck Minerva, I’m free!” Snape said enthusiastically as he got up and headed for the door.

Hermione reached into her robes and pushed the button on her stopwatch and froze time. “What The Fuck?!”