Hermione and the Watch Part 26 (Patreon)

Harry wrinkled is nose as he glanced around the dimly lit and horrible smelling cave that Hermione had teleported them to. “Good call on the rubber boots, conjured overalls and bubble head charms.”

Hermione looked at the shit covered floor of the depressing dragon’s den, happy that she’d remembered the bubble head charms before she’d teleported. “It’s a bit disappointing, really.”

“Let me guess, you were expecting gold and jewels or maybe a couple first edition books?” Harry asked with amusement.

Hermione shook her head. “I’ve read enough about them to know they’re more like animals than proper dragons but I was expecting their den to be a bit cleaner…” she trailed off as she took a step to the left and spotted a set of large glowing orange eyes in the darkness. “At least they’re suitably terrifying.”

“For a given value of terrifying,” Harry replied as he raised Gryffindor's sword and walked toward the dragon. “They’re basically magical fire breathing animals.”

“I wonder if we could fix that with a ritual,” Hermione mused.

Harry froze in place then turned to look at Hermione. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Hermione barely managed to avoid snickering as she saw the horrified look on her boyfriend’s face. “I don’t know, the acromantula are intelligent spiders, manticore are reasonably intelligent if vicious, we could probably figure out a way to make proper dragons.”

Harry sighed in relief as Hermione started snickering after a couple seconds. “That was mean.”

“You have to admit, it was a little funny,” Hermione pointed out.

“Maybe a little. You’d think the wizards would have killed off the dragons centuries ago,” Harry grumbled as he carefully walked over the least nasty path he could to get to the grizzly bear sized dragon. 

“I’m guessing a combination of tradition and they have a number of magical uses saved them from that fate,” Hermione replied as she worked on conjuring a couple flameless lights so they could see what they were doing.

“I mostly remember dragon shit being used in herbology,” Harry replied as he studied the vicious dragon’s muzzle and teeth.

“That’s because it makes amazing fertilizer.”

“Any idea how much of a boost we’ll get for eating Norbert?” Harry asked as he stabbed the dragon in the chest.

“No clue, we might get some magic resistance or strength or we might not get anything. I’m guessing we’ll get a decent boost to our strength and magic resistance personally. Between that and Blackbeard’s ritual, we should be able to waltz through the Death Eaters without breaking a sweat.”

Harry snorted. “I’d rather just pour molten lead down their throats while they’re frozen in time.”

“Now you’re just being mean,” Hermione teased.

“They deserve it,” Harry replied as he worked on cutting Norbert’s heart out. “I understand taking the bribe money and the donations but I would have had a task force quietly dealing with the worst of the scum after getting their confessions and obliviating them. Oops, Mr. Malfoy fell down a well or died from a cursed necklace or any number of things that could be arranged to look like an accident.”

“Someone would figure it out eventually,” Hermione complained.

“Maybe eventually but if you did it right, they’d never connect the dots. A bit of polyjuice and you’d look like a random stranger. All you’d have to do is wait for a cold day so you could wear gloves without anyone noticing then walk by your target in the Alley, touch his skin with a cursed ring or something and he dies screaming several minutes later after you’ve already left the scene. If you space out the attacks, change what you look like and vary the methods enough, no one would connect the dots.”

“That sounds like work.” Hermione levitated the cooler over to where Harry was standing next to Norbert.

Harry dropped a chunk of dragon ribs into the cooler then continued sawing at the dragon. “This would be easier if we had a goblin silver knife rather than a sword.”

“I’ll put it on the list.” Hermione smiled wistfully as she glanced around the cave, picturing piles of coins and other treasures scattered around. “I wonder if Atlantis has any intelligent dragons?”

‘Let’s hope not,’ Harry grumbled mentally. “We’ll have to ask Rose when we get back, she’d know unless they’re hiding.”

Hermione grinned as she pictured a society of intelligent dragons hiding under the island with mountains of golden coins. “Speaking of legends, we should look into a way to turn house elves back into elves.”

“You realize they were never actually Tolkien elves, right?” Harry asked as he ripped the dragon’s heart free. 

“Prove it,” she teased. “The wizarding world managed to hide their entire existence from the rest of the world, what is one more crime in a list of misdeeds that goes back a thousand years?”

“Now you’re sounding as paranoid as Fudge,” Harry teased as he dropped the dragon heart into the cooler.

Hermione stuck her tongue out at Harry, glad that he was around to make her laugh. “That reminds me, we should probably give him another push toward the insane asylum while we’re thinking about it.”

“I’ll put it on the list.” He wouldn’t mind giving Fudge a bit of a shove over the edge on the off chance it helped with the crap the Daily Prophet printed.

0o0o0

Hermione frowned as she glanced between the mostly dismembered ex-auror and the words Harry was writing on a business card with his left hand, “Constant Vigilance? You don’t think he has enough mental issues?”

“After some of the things he put Tonks through in training and the broom ride to Headquarters, I don’t care. We’d probably still be doubling back and flying around aimlessly if Tonks and Remus hadn’t put their feet down.”

“He’s not that bad.”

“Tonks said he used to wake the trainees up with ice water in the middle of the night, who does that?” Harry asked as he finished writing Vigilance then carefully moved on to the rest of the message.

“You realize that’s part of the training, right?” Hermione asked as she stuck the magical slave collar around Moody’s neck.

“She said he smiled. He never smiles,” Harry argued.

Hermione snorted. “Now you’re just trying to justify a bad prank.” She pointed her wand at Moody.

“Maybe,” Harry replied absently as he finished writing his message. He shivered slightly as Hermione vanished the bones in Moody’s stump of an arm and the left side of his chest. “If Lockhart wasn’t the next best thing to a vegetable, I’d pay him a visit. Hand me his hand before you get carried away removing bones.”

“Left or right?” Hermione asked as she glanced between the two severed appendages.

“Let’s go with right,” Harry replied as he studied Hermione’s rather bloody work cutting out the cursed sections of his flesh so they’d heal properly.

Hermione tossed Moody’s right hand to Harry. “What are you going to do with it?”

Harry used a sticking charm to stick the severed stump of a wrist to the end table then closed the thumb and index finger on the business card and froze it in place with a wandless spell. “That should do it.”

“Constant Vigilance, you’re my hand in this.” Hermione shook her head. “Yeah, that’s fucked up Harry.”

“Maybe a little,” Harry admitted. He still thought the grizzled auror deserved it for the detours he’d forced them to take on the ride to Number Twelve that had nearly caused them to freeze their arses off.

Hermione grabbed Moody’s magical eye and his right hand then walked over to the end table and stuck the stump of the hand to the table with a sticking charm. She set the magical eyeball on the hand’s palm. “That should do it.”

“You should wrap his fingers around the eye a bit for that extra nudge down the rabbit hole.”

“You really hated that broom ride, didn’t you?” she asked as she wrapped his fingers around the magical eye.

“It was freezing and it was damned pointless. I could have snuck out of the house with my cloak and grabbed a cab from four blocks over and no one in the wizarding world would have had a bloody clue.”

“I’m starting to wonder if there is something in the water or maybe the pumpkin juice,” Hermione muttered.

“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Harry muttered as Hermione went to work vanishing the cursed bits of flesh and bone she’d cut out of the ex-auror so that he’d heal without the curse damage. “I’m just glad we have an airtight alibi on the off chance that someone points him in our direction.”

‘Not like that will stop the idiots from blaming us anyways,’ Hermione thought as she finished vanishing the mess. “A touch of dreamless sleep and he’ll be out like a light.” She pulled a vial of dreamless sleep out of her pocket and poured some down Moody’s throat.

“Not going to stun him?” Harry asked in surprise.

“He’s going to be messed up enough from someone getting into his house, no point in making him completely bug nuts. Besides, I’d rather not stop and start time considering we’re only a couple feet behind Dumbledore. With any luck, we’ll have the collar off before he wakes up in the morning and his injuries will be completely healed.”

“Works for me, what’s next?” Harry asked, wanting to get out of Moody’s rather cluttered house.

“We should probably get back and watch Albus get Seamus off the ceiling then get some sleep, we can upgrade everyone while they’re sleeping.”

“It would also let us stop and start time without worrying about someone noticing,” Harry mused.

“There is that. Ready?” Hermione asked as she held out her hand.

Harry smiled as he took her hand. “As I’m going to be.”

Hermione flame teleported them back to the hall next to Dumbledore’s office. She frowned slightly as she glanced around the hallway, trying to figure out exactly where she’d been standing. “We should probably grab some chalk or something if we’re going to keep freezing time when we’re close to people.”

Harry grinned as he walked over to the general spot where he’d been standing. “Probably. At least they’re not looking at us. I think you were standing about three feet behind Dumbledore and next to Ginny.”

“Close enough,” Hermione agreed as she took a step to the left next to Ginny then reached into her pocket and pushed the button on her stopwatch, restarting time. 

Harry fell into stop with Ginny and Hermione as they walked quietly through the hall. Thankfully other than a couple strange looks at the five of them now and then McGonagall kept her mouth shut the whole way back, other than giving the password to the portrait.

Seamus watched as McGonagall and Dumbledore walked into the common room. “Get me down!”

Dumbledore glanced around the common room then looked up at the ceiling. “Have a little patience Mr. Finnigan.”

“I’ve been stuck up here all day!”

“Yes. Let us see what we can do about that.” Dumbledore waved his wand and dispelled the sticking charm then flicked his wand, catching Seamus just before he crashed into the floor.

“I want them expelled!” Seamus shouted as he shakily got to his feet, gaze not leaving the Weasleys.

Dumbledore looked down his nose at Seamus. “And I’m fairly sure they’d like you expelled, alas we don’t always get what we want.”

“I’m the victim here,” Seamus blustered.

“If you’re the victim, why did you physically assault Mr Potter?” Dumbledore asked.

“Because he was saying stuff about me mum!” Seamus snapped.

“I said she was an idiot for believing the Prophet, I stand by that,” Harry stated, still annoyed at Seamus for the crack about his mother being better off dead.

“Mr Potter!” McGonagall scolded.

Harry gestured and hit McGonagall with a wandless silencing spell. “Shut up and let me talk!” He ignored the various people staring at him in shock as he focused his attention on Seamus. “Let me be clear, I didn’t stick you to the ceiling. I don’t know who did, nor do I care. You’re a worthless piece of lying shit and you burned every last shred of sympathy or concern I might have had when you said my mother was better off dead.”

“You think your so tough?” Seamus sputtered.

“Four years Seamus. When have I ever fucking wanted any attention? I didn’t want my scar, I sure as fuck don’t want to be famous.”

“You’re lying!”

Harry ignored McGonagall glaring at him or her waving her wand at her throat in an attempt to dispel his silence spell. “What possible reason would I have for lying?”

“Fame! Attention, take your pick! There is no way you’d beat me in a duel let alone You Know Who.”

“You can’t even say his name,” Ginny snapped.

“Face it, you’re a coward,” Fred added.

“And an idiot,” George added ‘helpfully’.

Dumbledore spoke up, “I’ll be contacting your mother, I’m sure she’ll be amenable to pulling you from the school considering she thinks I’m lying about Voldemort being back.”

“Good riddance! Washed up hag, crazy teachers, bossy know it all bitches,” Seamus snapped.

“Yeah, he’s lost it,” George said with a shake of his head.

“He’s not worth it, let’s go,” Hermione said as she set her hand on Harry’s arm.

Seamus sneered at Hermione. “Hey look, the muggleborn-” he cut off as his wand vanished from his grasp and appeared in Harry’s hand. “What the hell are you playing at?”

“Congratulations, Mr Finnigan, you’ve actually managed to make me angry.” He handed the wand to Dumbledore. “See that his mother gets his wand, if he points it at me again, I’m going to break it and castrate him with the broken shards.”

“Potter!” McGonagall scolded having finally gotten her voice back.

“What?” Harry asked sarcastically. “A vague disclaimer is no one’s friend. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get some sleep unless you’re expelling me.”

“Give me my wand,” Seamus snapped.

Dumbledore looked at the gathered students. “I have a question, how many of you noticed something wrong with the ceiling today?”

Several students glanced at McGonagall then raised their hands.

“Why wouldn’t you say anything?” McGonagall demanded.

“Why should we?” a seventh year guy asked. “You’d just take points and he’s been bragging that he could outfly Potter, we’ve seen him on the pitch, anyone that can outfly Potter needs to be playing for the team, he can’t and he’s not. I’m not even in Harry’s year and I know him well enough to know he hates fame. So yeah, when you run your mouth off like an idiot, it’s not our fault if you find yourself stuck to the ceiling.”

“I figured it was the prefects job,” a fourth year offered.

“Did you pay them to say that?” Seamus demanded.

“No, we just don’t like you,” Romilda Vane spoke up.

Dumbledore sighed. “Minerva, if you’d be so kind take Mr Finnigan to my office and call his mother, I’ll be along shortly.” He turned to look at Harry. “Any objection to showing them the memory of what happened in the graveyard?”

Seamus glanced between Harry and Dumbledore, starting to worry that he’d made a horrible mistake.

“This way,” McGonagall snapped as she headed out of the dorms. 

Harry said, “Normally I’d say that rewarding stupidity shouldn’t be encouraged but that memory isn’t a reward so go for it. I have no objection to you sharing the memory with any seventh year that wants to see it. At least that way, people can choose for themselves what to believe and it might give some of Cedric’s friends closure.”

“I’ll make the arrangements.” Dumbledore sighed. “Get some sleep everyone.”

Ginny watched Dumbledore turn and leave. “Well, that happened.”

“You should get some sleep.” Hermione leaned in and whispered, “Don’t worry, it will blow over, eventually.”

“Hopefully,” Harry muttered as he headed for the dorms.

0o0o0

“Was sending him home for the night really the best choice?” Minerva asked.

Albus glanced over at the floo Seamus and his mother had used then looked back at Minerva. “They had things to discuss after seeing Harry’s memories of the graveyard, maybe she can get his behavior under control.”

“Speaking of behavior, what you are going to do about Mr Potter’s behavior?”

“Nothing. I’ve been known to hit people for insulting family, granted not for many years but then again I have the advantage of experience. He could have broken Seamus’s wand, banished him into a wall or any number of nasty things, he chose not to showing a remarkable amount of restraint.”

“And the sticking charm?” Minerva asked with annoyance.

“Not much we can do about it as there were no witnesses. We checked the group’s wands, there was no trace of any such spell which wasn’t unexpected. I find myself disinclined to put forth my full attention toward discovering the identity of the prankster when the ‘victim’ was acting without honor or any sense of self preservation.”

“No one deserves to be stuck to the ceiling all day, Albus.” 

“And yet, he might have learned something. Something, your detentions failed to accomplish. He is lucky that Harry didn’t put him in the hospital wing or the morgue.”

“You think Mr. Potter would do that?” Minerva asked warily.

“I think the fact that Harry hasn’t sent Riddle a letter saying he’s moving to America and best of luck after what the Ministry has done is a testament to Harry’s kind and generous heart.”

Minerva sighed. “That would get a lot of people killed and it wouldn’t work, he’d never honor it.”

“Of course not which is the other reason Harry wouldn’t bother. As for the prank, let it be known that the scales are balanced provided Mr. Finnigan’s reasonable behavior in the future. I’m sure that will alleviate any future concerns of bullying.”

Minerva sighed. “We still don’t know who cast the spell.”

“Life is filled with mysteries,” Dumbledore replied with a twinkle in his eyes. He made a mental note to talk to Ms. Weasley about her prank, if only to make sure she didn’t drive Seamus around the bend.

“In that case, I trust that you’ll have a word with them so that it doesn’t happen again?” Minerva asked hopefully.

“Of course,” Dumbledore replied with a smile as he grabbed a lemon drop from the tray.

“In that case, I’m going to get some sleep, this week is promising to be a long one.”

“Best of luck.”

0o0o0

Remus shuffled his feet awkwardly as he studied Madam Pomfrey’s face, trying to ignore the feeling of unease being in the infirmary always brought him. “Anything?”

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you weren’t a werewolf,” Madam Pomfrey replied with a touch of exasperation, not quite sure how Remus had managed to hide the disease from the usual detection spells. She glanced between Remus and Albus. “Care to tell me what spells you used to hide your status?”

Remus shook his head. “I didn’t use any spells.”

“A potion then?” she asked as she looked at Albus suspiciously, wondering what game he was playing.

“Not to my knowledge,” Remus replied, trying not to get annoyed about her lack of belief.

“This wasn’t my doing Poppy, I’m as confused as you are,” Albus admitted.

Madam Pomfrey glanced between Albus and Remus. “In that case, you might need to visit a specialist at St. Mungos.”

Remus snorted. “No thanks, I’d rather not end up a test subject.”

“What are you planning on doing during the full moon?” Poppy asked warily.

“Only thing I can do, lock myself up. If I don’t change, fantastic, if I do, it’s business as usual. If I don’t change, I know some werewolf healers that can run more tests and try to figure out if they can duplicate my cure.”

0o0o0