Hermione and the Watch Part 30/Final (Patreon)

Harry glared at the two dozen frozen aurors in the middle of ‘processing’ the Malfoy’s dining room. “How long do you think they took to get here?”

“Less than ten minutes,” Hermione replied absently as she carefully pulled the disillusioned video camera off the wall.

“Any idea how we’re supposed to convert the image from a tape to a wizarding photograph other than just putting it on a screen and taking a picture?” Harry asked as he studied Fudge’s red face.

“No but Colin might,” Hermione replied as she studied the scene. 

“How long do you think it would take to drive Fudge insane by randomly sticking bear traps under his feet?”

“That would probably depend on when and where we placed the traps. I’m willing to settle for robbing him blind and ruining his reputation if he actually comes clean about Voldemort.”

“I can’t see that happening,” Harry grumbled.

Hermione shook her head. “I don’t think he’ll have much choice, there are at least two dozen aurors that saw Voldemort’s corpse and the dead purebloods. Mrs. Malfoy will be spending gold like crazy in an attempt to paint herself as the victim, which means the first thing she’ll be doing is talking to the press to get her version of the story out there.”

“Which they’ll likely print because of bribes,” Harry admitted.

“Speaking of bribes and money, we should probably send a barrister after the Prophet once they’re forced to admit that Voldemort was back for all of the lies they told.”

Harry sighed as he thought about his trial. “I’d never win.”

“Right after the story breaks might be the perfect time to put in a claim because Fudge will want to push the blame on someone else.”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask Tonks or Mr. Weasley if they know any decent barristers or at least effective ones. If that doesn’t work, I have no problems walking into the Daily Prophet and  stealing their printing press or cutting people’s heads off until I can figure out who authorized the shit against me and why.”

“We can deal with that after the story breaks.” Hermione frowned slightly as she thought about the investigation they’d assigned Percy. “That reminds me, we should probably check in with Percy at some point and see how his investigation is going.”

“Not a bad idea,” Harry agreed as he held his hand out. “Ready to get back?”

“Might as well.” Hermione took Harry’s hand and flash teleported them back to his dorm. “I want to get everyone upgraded before the story breaks and everything goes crazy.”

“Probably for the best. What are you going to upgrade Ron with?” Harry asked thinking about his friend that was going to go ballistic when he told him he was taking some time off.

“Either Hagrid’s heart for durability or a house elf’s heart for extra magic but I’m not sure if he’d end up magically bound if we went with house elf.” Hermione scowled thinking about the way house elves were treated.

“You could always use Dobby’s heart, he’s not bound to anyone and hasn’t lost any of his magic as far as I know which means Ron shouldn’t have any problems if we feed him Dobby’s heart.”

“We should probably check with Kreacher or the heads on the wall in Number 12. There might be a legitimate reason house elves bind themselves to wizarding families, anything from needing extra magic to grow in power to because it keeps them off the radar of eldritch gods that want to eat them.”

Hermione snorted. “Eldritch gods?”

Harry snickered at the look of disbelief on her face. “Fine, that one is probably a stretch but the fact is, we don’t know. No one bothered to mention the house elves, whomping willows, thestrals, magical oaths or any of the various things that someone should have mentioned the second we stepped into Hogwarts, if not in our letters. I mean shit how long did it take someone to mention the extremely vicious tree that will flat out try to kill people that get too close?”

“Way too long,” Hermione grumbled.

“Exactly.”

“You have a point,” Hermione admitted. “We might as well ask Kreacher’s head before we risk upgrading Ron. Do you want to come with me or do you have something else to work on like sleep?”

Harry shook his head. “I sort of need to write a letter to Dumbledore about the Horcruxes.”

Hermione frowned slightly. “They’ll know it was you by your handwriting.” 

“I’m planning on having Rose rewrite it for me after we upgrade everyone to confuse things,” Harry replied with a smirk.

“If you really want to confuse things, have Lily rewrite it when you’re done, we should have enough time.”

“Sounds good,” Harry replied as he grabbed his bag of writing supplies to get started writing.

0o0o0

“I smell coffee!” Lily said excitedly as she bounced into the kitchen, feeling strangely energetic for some reason. She blinked as she saw the stack of pancakes and bottle of real maple syrup on the table. “Bribery?”

“What makes you say that?” Harry asked innocently as he slid his mother the cup of freshly brewed coffee he’d picked up.

Lily laughed as she picked up the coffee. “What do you need?” She inhaled the aroma then took a sip of the black ambrosia.

“I’m writing a letter to Dumbledore about Riddle’s horcruxes, my handwriting is a bit distinctive and I’d rather not leave proof lying around that I had anything to do with Riddle’s death.”

“And you want me to copy it over?” Lily asked with amusement.

“Basically,” Harry replied as he pushed the piece of notebook paper toward her. 

Lily raised her eyebrows as she read the first part of the note. “Dear Mr. Sock’s Desire?”

“If you’ll recall, back first year Dumbledore set up the Mirror of Erised in one of the abandoned classrooms so I’d find it.”

“Ah, let me guess, you asked him what he saw?” Lily asked with amusement.

“He said he saw himself getting a pair of socks for Christmas, it seemed too mundane to believe.”

“Probably was, he’s an old man with a lot of regrets. I knew him better than some and not as well as others, I can almost assure you that he didn’t see himself getting a pair of socks.” Lily took another drink of the coffee as read the next part of the letter. “You’re a bit hung up on this whole you’re my hand thing aren’t you?”

“Maybe a little,” Harry admitted. “Either way, I’d rather not leave any proof that Harry Potter was involved with Voldemort’s death, which is why I need someone else to rewrite it.”

Lily took another drink, reading through the letter again. “I don’t blame you.”

“You’re ruining a perfectly good chance for fame and glory,” James teased as he walked into the kitchen. “Is that coffee?” he asked hopefully.

“Sadly, I only brought one cup,” Harry lied with a smirk.

James glanced at Lily’s coffee. “Lily my love…” he trailed off as Lily quickly drank the last of her coffee. “That’s cold Lils.”

Lily stuck her tongue out at her husband.

“So, what are you working on?” James asked as he looked over Lily’s shoulder at the note she was holding. “Voldemort is dead?”

“Yeah, Snape killed him after I made sure he was mortal,” Harry said as he levitated one of the coffees off the counter and over to his father. “Here.”

“You’re okay with him getting the credit?” James asked as he grabbed the coffee out of the air.

“If I wasn’t, I would have killed Voldemort myself.”

Lily looked down her nose at Harry. “That sounds remarkably dangerous.”

“Which is one of the reasons I used Snape. With any luck the wizarding world will move on and forget about me,” Harry complained, thinking about all of the crap he’d had to deal with since showing up in the wizarding world.

“I can’t see that happening, you’re still a Potter,” James pointed out smugly as he loaded up his plate with pancakes.

“It’s a worth a shot,” Harry muttered, knowing he probably wouldn’t be that lucky.

0o0o0

Dumbledore spun as he caught a flash of red in a picture frame out of the corner of his eye. He brought his hand up and unleashed a wide area wandless stunner that swept across his bedroom. ‘No shimmers or crashes, you’re getting as jumpy as Alister.’ He reached up to tap his glasses to scan the room for invisible creatures and people then frowned as he realized he wasn’t wearing his glasses and could see perfectly fine. He paused as he glanced down and noticed that his beard was a deep red, a color it hadn’t been for well over a decade. It took him a couple seconds to realize that the back of his hand was smooth and unwrinkled, something it hadn’t been for more than a half a century. “Strange.”

Albus walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. “I’m going to have to talk to the Weasley Twins.” He ran his fingers through his long red beard. ‘I might need to shave if this doesn’t wear off.’ He sighed as one of his magical alarms notified him that Minerva had entered his office with Severus. ‘Something horrible must have happened if Severus is back.’ He grabbed his robes as he headed toward his bedroom door.

He’d just finished pulling his robe on when Minerva knocked on his door and asked, “Are you awake?”

“More or less,” Albus replied as he opened the door. “You have news?”

“Albus, Voldemort is dead...” Minerva trailed off as she noticed Albus’s red beard and youthful face. “What happened?”

Dumbledore ignored Minerva’s question about his beard as he glanced at Severus. “You have proof?”

“I killed him myself,” Severus admitted as he stepped back so that Albus could walk into his office.

“What happened?” Albus asked as he walked into his office then stopped and stared at his desk as there were several objects sitting on it that didn’t belong there.

“I was in the middle of a meeting with a contact in Knockturn Alley then I was in front of a naked terrified looking Voldemort in Malfoy manor between one blink and the next. I did the only thing reasonable, I killed him before he could grab a wand.”

“He could have been a fake,” Minerva argued.

“You weren’t there, you couldn’t see his face.” Severus shivered slightly as he remembered the look of shock and fear in Riddle’s eyes.

“Is he gone for good this time?” Minerva asked warily as Albus walked over to look at his desk.

Albus glanced between the strange objects on his desk and the note. He pulled his wand out of his pocket and cast a detection charm on the note. “Nothing, let’s see.” He smiled as he scanned the letter. “Curious, if the letter is to be believed, Riddle is quite dead.”

“What do you mean?” Severus demanded.

Albus read the note aloud, “Dear Mr. Sock’s Desire, while Snape may have been my hand in this, I arranged for the horcruxes to be destroyed so he could finish the job, which means Riddle should stay dead this time, you’re welcome. Feel free to display the lost artifacts of the founders as you see fit. In case you’re curious the stone was part of a Gaunt family heirloom that Riddle cursed. I’m reasonably sure I’ve dealt with the curses on the stone but you might want to double check everything, you’re my hand in this Mr. Sock.”

“Mr. Sock?” Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I told Harry back in first year that I saw people giving me socks in the mirror of Erised. I’m a touch curious how he found enough of Lily’s old writing to duplicate her handwriting.”

Severus’s lips cracked into a smile as he recognized Lily’s distinctive handwriting. ‘I’m not sure how you got to the island and back but she’s still alive.’

Minerva twitched slightly as she saw Severus’ smile. “Tasteless as usual.”

“I can’t say I blame him for wanting to avoid official responsibility for this,” Albus said as he cast a couple detection spells on the artifacts that had been left in his office without tripping any of the wards, something that should have been impossible for a student and nearly so for anyone else other than the houses elves which meant they should be able to tell him who asked them to drop the stuff off.

“Especially with the two dozen dead purebloods,” Severus admitted.

“What happened?” Albus asked in concern.

“They started choking when I appeared and were dead by the time Voldemort hit the ground.” He glanced at Minerva. “In case you’re wondering, I didn’t kill them nor did I kidnap the minister.”

“Kidnap the minister?” Albus asked, trying to get caught up.

Severus sighed. “Someone dropped him off at the party in Malfoy Manor so that he could watch Voldemort’s death.”

“Any idea who arranged everything?”

“If I had to guess, Potter.”

“Why Harry?” Minerva asked.

“Because it’s always a Potter’s fault unless it’s Black’s fault,” Severus grumbled.

“That seems far more likely than Harry setting everything up,” Albus said, thinking about Sirius’s evasive behavior over the last couple weeks and Lupin’s possible cure which should be impossible. “What are the chances that Sirius reached out to Narcissa about her Death Eater problem?”

“Sirius hated his family,” Minerva pointed out.

Severus frowned as he considered everything he knew about Sirius and Narcissa. “Normally I’d say no but with Lucius and Bellatrix’s deaths, he might have taken the opportunity to reach out if only to gloat. Still, she was as surprised as anyone about what happened though she hid it well enough I doubt the minister noticed.”

“You can’t possibly believe that Sirius would kill two dozen people in cold blood like that,” Minerva complained.

Severus snorted. “They were part of Voldemort’s inner circle, of course I can. I would have done it myself given half a chance.”

Albus glanced at the clock against the wall. “We should get down to the great hall before the paper comes.”

“Speaking of news, what happened to your beard and why do you look like you’re in your twenties?” Minerva asked warily, having gotten tired waiting for an explanation.

“If I had to give an official reason, I’d blame it on the Weasley Twins testing some new pranks.”

“Unofficially?” Minerva asked warily.

“Alchemy is an interesting branch of research,” Albus replied cheerfully.

Snape snorted, fairly sure that Albus hadn’t recreated the Philosopher's Stone. “On that note, I should go, I have more people on my list to track down before they go into hiding,” he said as he walked over to the floo.

“Best of luck Severus.” Albus sighed as Severus grabbed a pinch of powder and tossed it into the fireplace. ‘He’s going to get himself killed looking for revenge.’

“What are you going to do about Mr. Potter?” Minerva asked.

Albus looked down his nose at Minerva. “Why would I need to do anything about Harry?”

Minerva gestured toward the note. “Because he was obviously involved.”

“Do you have any proof?” Albus asked with a touch of amusement as he headed for the exit. 

“He’s been acting weird for the last couple weeks,” she snapped.

“He’s a teenager, that’s fairly normal,” Albus replied as he left his office.

Minerva sighed then followed Albus out of his office. ‘Fine, I’ll just have to ask Sirius.’

0o0o0

Ron spit out his pumpkin juice as he read the caption on the front page of the Daily Prophet that had just been delivered. “What the hell?”

Hermione waved her wand and cleaned the pumpkin juice off Romilda Vane’s face and blouse with a wave of her wand. “Something interesting?”

“Voldemort is dead,” Ron sputtered in surprise, the great hall suddenly going quiet as more people read the paper.

“What?!” Harry said in ‘surprise’ as he grabbed the paper. He stared at the caption in shock and dismay. “Boy That Lived helps teacher defeat You Know Who... what the fuck?!” He quickly scanned through the article in growing horror as he realized Snape had given him credit for working behind the scenes to make sure Voldemort stayed dead. “That son of a bitch!”

Hermione winced as nearly everyone in the great hall turned to look at them. “Relax Harry, we’ll figure it out,” she whispered trying to reassure Harry as all his plans for quietly letting his fame fade away went up in smoke.

Fred flicked his wand at the ceiling, conjuring a bunch of fireworks and sparkles. “Sing it with me! We don’t need a Boy That Lived, we have the genuine article, Harry James Fucking Potter! Hero of Hogwarts!”

Tonks laughed and gave Harry a smirk.

Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose. ‘I’m going to kill him, repeatedly.’

“And the unstoppable, monstrous Professor Snape! Three cheers for the greasy bastard that killed Voldemort!” George shouted.

“Fred, George!” McGonagall snapped.

“Three cheers for Harry and Snape!” Hagrid shouted.

“Three cheers for Harry!” Ginny shouted as she gave Harry a smirk, knowing he’d get over it, eventually.

Ron laughed as he saw Harry’s expression. “Go Harry!” he shouted as he started drumming on the table. “Hero of Hogwarts!”

Fred shouted, “Three cheers for the Professor! He might have been a bastard, but he was our bastard!”

Draco opened his mouth to complain about the Weasley Twins then changed his mind as he thought about Voldemort murdering his father. “Three cheers for Snape!” he shouted surprising himself and several other Slytherins. 

McGonagall sighed as she realized she wasn’t going to be able to stop the insanity.

Albus stood up then waited for the cheers to die down to a low rumble. “If I can have your attention!” He waited a couple seconds for the rest of the noise to die then announced, “All classes today and tomorrow are canceled, enjoy your parties.” 

‘Not like they were going to be able to concentrate anyways,’ McGonagall thought to herself.

‘Screw it, I’m just going to relax and be happy that he’s dead,’ Harry thought to himself as he listened to the cheering. “Three cheers for Snape, bastard of Hogwarts!” He shouted as he pounded his hands on the table and smiled at Romilda and Ginny.

0o0o0

Tonks licked her lips as she glanced between Harry and Hermione and the delicious roast rabbit. “Damn that’s good, what’s the secret?”

“The seasoning,” Hermione replied as she held the plate of cut up transforming rabbit out towards Tonks. “Feel free, we have plenty.”

“Did you bribe the house elves?” Tonks asked as she grabbed another couple slices from the plate, not caring about being neat and tidy as she worked on eating the rabbit.

Harry shrugged. “Not recently, I did a lot of the cooking growing up.”

Hermione set the platter down on Tonk’s desk, happy that she’d gotten Ron, Neville, Hagrid and all of Harry’s family upgraded with the hag ritual which meant she could relax and enjoy what was looking like a two day party. “Any plans for the party?”

“Not really,” Tonks admitted, not wanting to admit that she didn’t have a lot of friends her own age thanks to jumping head first into auror training. “If I’m not at Hogwarts, I’d have to be on duty and screw that.”

“Don’t want to deal with the crazy drunk wizards?” Harry asked with amusement.

Tonks shook her head. “They don’t pay me nearly enough.”

“Has McGonagall roped you into patrolling the hallways yet?” Hermione asked, curious about what the teachers were planning on doing during their two days off.

“I’ve managed to avoid it so far, why?”

“We have two days off, that’s almost as good as a weekend, right?” Hermione asked hopefully.

Tonks took a breath as she realized she was calling in their bet. “In other words, you’re calling in our bet early?”

“If you’re willing,” Hermione whispered softly.

“What did you have in mind?” Tonks asked, not sure how far Hermione was planning on pushing things.

“In here or back in the dorms?” Hermione teased.

“In here?” Tonks asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I sort of want to watch Harry fuck you on your desk,” Hermione teased.

Tonks glanced at Harry then back at Hermione when she realized Harry liked the idea. “You realize I could get a lot of trouble for this, right?”

“You’re a metamorphmagus, you can look like a random student and we can lock the doors,” Hermione reminded her as she pulled her wand out from behind her ear and locked the door.

“If this goes horribly wrong, I reserve the right to frame Ginny,” Tonks teased, fairly sure she’d lost her marbles for even entertaining the thought of messing around with a couple of teenagers. 

Harry smiled as Tonks morphed into a duplicate of Hermione. “Nice.”

Tonks grinned as she stood up then slowly started unbuttoning her shirt.

“Do you need some help with that?” Harry teased.

“If you want,” Tonks teased him as she sat on the edge of the desk.

Harry smirked as he teleported Tonks’ pants and jumper to his hand, leaving her in a blouse and panties. “Better.”

“How the hell?!” Tonks asked in surprise as she looked down at her bare legs.

“Magic,” Harry replied smugly as he softly brushed her leg with his fingers.

“You’re going to have to teach me that,” Tonks said as she slipped her panties off then let them drop to the floor. “Like what you see?”

“Yes,” Harry said as he teleported his clothes off and dropped them in the chair, revealing the fact that he certainly liked what he saw.

Hermione absently put her wand behind her ear moved the platter off the desk so Tonks wouldn’t accidently hit it and make a mess. ‘I should probably grab Rose and the twins for the orgy or they’ll never forgive me.’ She smiled as she watched Harry start trusting in and out of her ‘duplicate’. ‘Yeah, we’re going to have to keep you around.’ She reached out and ran her fingers along Tonks’ ribs. “A little help with the shirt.”

Harry gestured and teleported Tonks’ shirt to the chair revealing the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra for anything under it. “Nice.”

Hermione smiled as she brushed Tonks’ breasts with her finger, teasing the older witch as she worked on her plans for the orgy.

0o0o0

Neville gulped slightly as Ginny and Luna Lovegood blocked the door to the dorm with a trunk and a locking charm. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Do you want McGonagall coming in and seeing the fun?” Ginny asked with amusement as she turned to watch a half naked Katie Bell dance around the dorm with Harry.

“Or the wabbits to get in?” Luna asked knowing Neville was too polite to even ask what wabbits were.

“I shouldn’t be here,” Neville muttered as he pulled his attention off Luna’s panty clad behind and glanced over at Ron who was passed out drunk as a skunk on his bed. “We’re going to get in so much trouble,” he muttered as he glanced over at were Romilda Vane was being helped out of her clothes by a half naked girl that looked a lot like Ginny. “Ron is going to kill us when he finds out what he missed and Hermione is going to lecture us.”

Harry grinned. “I already told you, Hermione will be fine, she’s just picking up a couple more girls for the fun.”

“He should learn to hold his liquor, I drank twice as much and I’m okay,” Katie slurred slightly as she slid Harry’s hand from her back to her ass. “You want me don’t you?”

Harry let his gaze roam over Tonk’s bare chest, she did an excellent Katie Bell. “You’re hot and you’re a fantastic chaser.”

“In that case,” Tonks smiled as she glanced between Ginny and Rose. “I want to see your red haired friend and Ginny tag team Romilda while you play with me, I have a thing for twins,” she teased seductively as she slipped Harry’s other hand down the front of her panties.

Ginny smirked as she pulled her shirt off, revealing decent sized tits. “I’d love to rock her world before Harry fucks her into pudding.”

Romilda shivered, still not quite believing that she was going to get a shot with her hero. “You’re on!”

Rose smirked slightly as Hermione teleported in with Alison and Karen Longbottom. “This should be fun.”

Alison’s face lit up as she scanned the room and noticed Neville sitting on the edge of a four poster bed trying to look like he wasn’t checking all of the girls out. She giggled as she danced over to where Neville was sitting. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”

“I am?” Neville asked nervously as he glanced between the two naked girls he’d never seen before. For some reason they looked strangely familiar though he couldn’t figure out where he might have seen them before.

“Yes, most certainly too many clothes,” Karen agreed as she walked over to her brother’s bed. “Off with the pants and let’s have some fun.”

0o0o0

Ron yawned as he woke up feeling surprisingly clear headed considering how much he’d drank the night before. “At least I don’t have a hangover,” he muttered as he rolled out of bed. He frowned slightly as he noticed that the curtains on Harry and Neville’s beds were pulled back and there was no sign of either of them. He walked over and looked at the note on Harry’s bed.

“Hey Ron, if McGonagall asks, Hermione, Neville and I went on vacation, we’ll be back for the exams. P.S. We would have invited you but Mrs. Weasley would have killed us...” Ron trailed off as he stared at the note in disbelief. “What the fuck?!” He read through the note that looked like his friend’s handwriting just to make sure it actually said what he thought it said. “Yeah, Mum would have blown her top,” he muttered as he walked over to look at the note on Neville’s bed.

“We has a Neville, we’re going to fuck said Neville until he can’t walk, he will be returned mostly unbroken by the exams, A & K.” Ron frowned as he read what he was fairly sure was Neville’s drunken scrawl, “Wenches and beer? A & K? What the hell is going on!”

“That is what I’d like to know Mr. Weasley,” McGonagall said from the doorway as she waved three leave of absence forms at Ron.

Ron turned to look at McGonagall and Dumbledore as they stepped into the dorm. “No idea, I just woke up to find Harry and Neville gone and a couple of notes. Apparently they decided to go on vacation, they said they’d be back for exams.”

“If we could see the notes, Mr. Weasley,” Dumbledore asked as he held out his hand.

Ron walked over and handed the professor the two notes. “Here.”

“Why did they leave without you?” McGonagall asked.

“It’s in the note and they’re right, Mum would flip I blew off school to go on a vacation,” Ron admitted.

“We have a Neville?” Albus muttered, thinking about Augusta’s reaction to telling her that her only grandson had been kidnapped. ‘Hopefully Sirius knows where Harry is.’

Ron blinked as Dumbledore vanished in a burst of fire. “What the hell?”

McGonagall stared in disbelief at where Albus had been standing a second ago. “Screw it, I’ll sort this shit out tomorrow.”

Ron stared in disbelief as McGonagall walked back out of the dorm. “What the hell just happened?”

Albus blinked as he found himself on a beach in a flash of flames. He stared in shock as he looked around at the people lounging on the muggle beach chairs drinking wine. “How did I get here?”

“The usual way, a life of wicked deeds,” James said with a straight face.

“I’m dead, aren’t I?” Albus asked, hoping there was another explanation for why Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, James and Lily Potter, and Frank and Alice Longbottom were lounging on muggle beach chairs drinking wine.

“You’re also in Hell, welcome to the party,” James said seriously.

Sirius shook his head. “You’re getting worse and worse.” 

“Welcome to Atlantis,” Lily said happy to see her old professor or not so old professor as the case may be.

“Hell seems more likely,” Albus replied as he glanced at Alice and Frank.

“Don’t worry about it, you’ll get used to it,” Frank said with amusement.

Severus shrugged when Albus looked at him. “Don’t look at me, I saw a statue of me in the town square, I’m fairly sure we’re in hell.”

0o0o0 The End 0o0o0