Replacement audio for Cyan! And Blue opens up a little bit about some struggles (Patreon)

Hello my sweet blueberries!! I've written two versions of this post, so that you can decide how much information you want to read! 

If you just want to know about the new Cyan audio, you can read just the first announcement to get those details! I absolutely support and respect my folks who are just here to enjoy some quality audios and escape life's troubles for a while!! 

If you want to know a little bit more about me, you can read the second announcement which is a little more personal. (Please mind the content warnings!) 

Just the Facts Version

Due to being literally unable to record until Sunday due to Some Deeply Unexpected Circumstances, I will be releasing the cheerleader audio next month instead! Most likely to Reddit so that everyone can enjoy!

I will instead be releasing part 1 of a secret project I've been working on this month. It's SFW, but the sequel will be NSFW. I think it's going to be a very beautiful story, and it has a script by u/iamthejackkeaton so you know it's gonna be good!! For my elf-loving listeners, this one will be  a treat!!

I'll be posting the replacement audio tomorrow morning!

Long, Long Version

CW: animal illness, messy breakups, chronic pain, housing struggles

If you're on my Discord you've probably already heard some of this stuff, but I wanted to share with you some things that have been a struggle this past few months because I know you guys care about me and like to hear updates on my life sometimes!

Many of you know that I struggle with chronic pain due to injuries I sustained when I was younger. A huge support for that have been my partner who I live with, and my dog Peanut. Peanut is trained to help recognize when I am in pain or about to be, and to comfort and encourage me to access my pain meds and give what's called pressure therapy (lying on top of me to prevent panic attacks/assist with anxiety pain). Peanut was recently diagnosed with cancer and has been going to chemotherapy. She is doing so much better!! She's been in chemo for a few weeks now and the oncologist is already saying she's extremely likely to go into full, extended remission.

In the midst of this, my partner of nearly ten years and I recently made the decision to split up due to some major differences about a month ago. It's been incredibly painful but most of the time we are still very close friends with each other. We had to wait until our lease together ended to find separate places to live, which I am now going to this week. I'm moving fairly far from where we used to live together, so it's been a long effort to move everything. I am hoping to have it all done by Sept 9. I cannot physically enter my new space until Friday.

As me moving out has become more real, my ex has become a bit more hostile. (I am the one who ended things, and this has made things quite awkward.) I am not in any danger, but the environment in my house has become extremely emotionally tense, which has made it incredibly difficult to record and be creative. I have tried to help alleviate some of this stress by going to stay with my other partners, family, and friends as often as I can. (This is part of what caused me to get stuck in the hurricane on the west coast for bit!! My flight out of a layover port got major delays.)

Unfortunately, the stress and having less access to things that help (my normal home environment, Peanut, my partner's assistance) has made my pain flare up a lot and made things pretty difficult. I'm adjusting fast and figuring out new ways to handle things independently! I'll be back to normal in no time flat.

I always want to give you guys my best, and I think with the audios and commissions I've posted this month I've managed to do that, but every time I sat down to make the Cheerleaders audio for Cyan this month this past week, it's come out sounding bad and tense. You guys deserve better.

So instead, I will be releasing part 1 of a secret project I've been working on this month that I'm very proud of!! It's SFW, but the sequel will be NSFW. I think it's going to be a very beautiful story, and it has a script by u/iamthejackkeaton so you know it's gonna be good!! For my elf-loving listeners, this one will be  a treat!!

I know life is way more important that audio porn, and you guys always do such a great job of reminding me of that while I've had my various struggles over the years. I'm so incredibly blessed to have such compassionate people listening to me and supporting me, who trust me to always deliver something good even if it isn't perfectly on time when life happens. But I really do get a major boost of joy every time I'm able to deliver a new fun, comforting, or just plain sexy new audio to you guys. And it makes me really happy that I get to keep doing that. You guys deserve the world.

I'm relocating currently to a friend's house tonight after a really tense argument with my ex. I'm going to post the audio, feel really happy I did, and then get a bunch of sleep and remind myself bad times are never forever. I like to go back to this Bob Ross quote when I have months like this, maybe it'll help someone else reading this who's feeling the struggle. I've been repeating it to myself a lot.

I'm waiting on the good times now. They'll come!!