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Men! Some hardy women! Get ready! For bullet-hardened cops and brasier-hardened bosoms! Prepare yourself! For shocking real facts from True Police Cases!

This article was brought to you by our fine sponsor and Hot Dog Supreme: Jared Ruiz, proud inventor of the Ladmeat Shuffler.

You can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM.

Comments

Handsome Unlimited

this was fucking excellent, thankyou so much

Skebotron

Sometimes it's the simplest* gags that get me the most, and this might be the unbeatably perfect example. *in concept, not effort, clearly!

Talking Alpaca

I want my girdle to guzzle my gizzards. Thanks, Poxco!

Bill Culbertson

Oh for the days when a Man could get all his hernia needs taken care of with the help of mail order medical equipment advertised in the back of a cheap magazine.

skjoldr

I'm just like Hair Trigger Ortega! I used to be a cop and I became a private detective with a hair trigger temper! I mean, pretty much. I wasn't exactly a cop, but I did get beaten up by the cops a bunch, which sort of makes me cops adjacent. And I didn't become a private detective exactly, but I did Google the home addresses of the cops that beat me up so I could show up and try to take my revenge, which led to me getting beaten up by the cops some more. And I guess I already had the hair trigger temper . . . threatening the cop that caught me breaking into cars with a big screwdriver is how I got beaten up by the cops the first time. But, you know . . . pretty close . . .

Vooster

Oh hey! It's Pants Cha-

sissyneck

well this is disappointin my whole life ive faced judgement for having a husky crotch (mine is more like 22-24%) and with a lot of work and faith-based therapy i finally got to a place where ive been able to say you know what: Husky IS Handsome, but this sets me back some

FancyShark

All the clues were there and yet the Hairtrigger Ortega story still caught me by surprise. A++

Matthew Harris

I have some old magazines from the era, and the amount of advertisements for girdles and belts surprised me. It sure was great when men could get manufacturing jobs that paid enough to buy a home right out of high school! And then have their bodies be twisted and deformed by the old age of 30!

Amber M.

Seanbaby has my permission to do nothing but photoshopped old magazines for his articles. I do love them so.

Devin Eagles

I am filled with joy

Jens Baumgart

Less candles, racism and eugenics than the last issue. 5 Stars!

Jeff Orasky

Every once in awhile, Pants Chapley briefly pierces the veil and we are reminded that this dimension, for all its faults, is not the Wrong Dimension. We must be ever vigilant against... Wait what was I talking about? And why is every orifice bleeding?

AU

Nutty.

Greg

This was great and hilarious.