Hot Dog Store: BIGFEETS EXTRAVAGANZA (Patreon)

Welcome to January!

BAM, got a mug all up in your mug, right at the top. You thought I was going to put the hoodie again, but you are WRONG, BUCKO! Check out this mug, you know you want it. Oh, and guess what? It comes in an 11 ounce size and a 15 ounce size! Pop it in the microwave, pop it in the dishwasher, it doesn’t care. It feels nothing, and does not judge you. And it comes in 10 different colors!

AHH, the hoodie jumped out of nowhere! Why is it sideways? I don’t know, but I do know that these hoodies are super comfy with that cotton polyester blend. They feel super cozy, are available in six colors, and if you buy one, maybe they’ll pay me to learn how to use the computer correctly!

Let’s take a break from all of this hoodie talk to appreciate some fine art. Quick, point to the closest art you have in your room, 3 2 1 now! Oh wow, The Starry Night, huh? Oh, and Nighthawks even. Way to go!

Way to go NOWHERE! Get some real art, get it right here! This is a 24” x 36” print of the incredible Bigfeets of Future Past piece and it is printed on super thick premium Japanese paper. Way better than that crazy thin garbage paper your print of The Persistence of Memory is on. Don’t believe me? Buy one and find out for yourself.

About halfway done. I’m in the zone today and I’m not slowing down.

Wearable art. Genius. Look, I don’t want to participate in hyperbole here, but Bigfeets of Future Past is better than any art ever created by humans in the history of the world. And you have the opportunity to get it on some ridiculously comfy shirts in one of eleven different colors. Or two different colors if you buy two. Plus you can make them sixty-nine!

Sorry about the dog in the background, my computer is haunted and that happens sometimes. It probably wouldn’t though, if I had the original BIGFEETS shirt! I’m a fool for not having one, and look at my life now. Haunted computers and angry mobs of art historians. Don’t be like me, buy a BIGFEETS shirt in one of four different colors, be comfy, be safe.

A bit back we introduced women’s styled cuts for our shirts too, and our BIGFEETS shirts are no exception. BIGFEETS OF FUTURE PAST is available in 11 different colors, and these shirts are so soft. Just so, so soft.

But our classic BIGFEETS shirt is available in 12 colors. That’s right, you get an extra color option as a bonus, just because.

IF YOU ARE STILL READING THIS FAR, PLEASE HELP ME.

I PUT ONE OF THESE TANKTOPS ON A WEEK AGO AND I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO STOP FLEXING MY MASSIVE MUSCULAR ARMS! I CAN’T EVEN HUG MY CHILDREN, THE TANK TOPS ARE TOO POWERFUL. PLEASE, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T WEAR THE TANKTOPS IN PUBLIC. YOU WILL BE TOO ATTRACTIVE AND CHARISMATIC, YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Available in two colors, black and white.