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Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard we each own a full-body foam-rubber suit in the other’s likeness and we wear them to… let’s not discuss why we wear them. But did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck corner, where a pack of local dogs has made off with the week’s jerky delivery and the mayor has called an emergency meeting to address the situation. Sissyneck has seen some real personal growth recently. He embraced his artistic side:

He explored earnestness:

He even found a few interesting dicks in the penis alphabet from Brockway’s New Adventures of Mega Man article.

That’s what personal growth is, when you really boil it down. It’s all about earnestness, expression, and weird dick. Although if you’ve seen Eat, Pray, Love you already know that.

In the Comments section, Seanbaby’s coverage of Mario Corelli’s 101 Ways To Make Her Wet definitely changed the worldview of some people -- the goal of all great art.

Some were more… changed than others.

This one piece of content did it all. It broke you, it put you together, it lifted you up and tossed you straight back down. It led you to profound and deep personal revelations...

Some… deeper than others.

Lydia’s 1,001 Las Vegas Nights either ruined or fixed sex for you, depending on how fucked up you did sex before.

In general, Fucking Days are a tough one to celebrate. But our community muscles through.

Last week we wrapped up our first true crime miniseries, Hot Dog Nights: Megan Wants A Murderer. And while we don’t all agree which of the show’s many murderers should’ve won Best Murderer, we do all agree on one thing…

If Megan Wants a Millionaire had stayed on the air...

This world would be a very different place.

It’s time to head on over to the Discord.

First things first: let’s see what’s new in apes, thanks to Gellaho, Bringer of Apes.

What a fine ape! That was a very good and necessary ape, we can all agree. But not all necessary apes are good apes. This Hot Dog epoch also added to the Ape Rogue’s Gallery:

Our absolute favorite thing about this community is the effort you guys put into it. It’s really taken on a life of its own, everyday there’s a new game, a recurring bit, some fun activity you’ve put together for each other -- it’s amazing. There’s no joke here. It’s just fucking incredible.

Here, look!

Redchronos put together a photo-comic when he received his Appreciator shirt:

Fatamatician actually went and rallied Peter Gallagher, author of Heathcliff, into making a Meat Tank T-shirt:

He even went on to thank ‘your friends’ for ‘their support,’ which is us! The author of Heathcliff has expressed gratitude to this site. It’s a few degrees removed, fine, but technically that means Heathcliff knows about and endorses 1900🌭..

Haraka, Apostle of Ham hosted a community liveread for an off-brand Choose Your Own Adventure book:

And it went exactly how you’d assume it went.

Fatamatician also found a cursed cookbook…

So of course, of course Josh cooked and ate three of the terrible recipes, absolutely destroying his body for comedy, like a hero.

That dish might look like a still from A Serbian Film, but it actually sounds all right.

This one, on the other hand, looks like you tried to bury dog barf in raw grilled cheese.

And the dessert was just straight up three pounds of rice, gently ruined. Jcantrell, hater of things, unsurprisingly hated it.

Pem designed a tool to generate generic fantasy titles...

So everyone jumped in on it...

And Gellaho, our local ape wrangler, went and photoshopped them all into existence…

Seriously, it is crazy how often this community goes the extra mile for a joke. It’s so much fun in so many ways that have nothing to do with us. Everybody gets together and does a ton of work to make this place the most entertaining and vibrant internet thing since scavenger corporations fucked the old internet to death and then ate it (that wording may have been confusing; I meant they each ate the pieces they fucked).

It’s a wonderful community, truly, but I’m sorry that I lied earlier when I said our favorite part was the things you build together.

Our real favorite part is when you all come together to just drag a motherfucker. Just catch him off-guard in the bathroom and then run him all around the place, dragging him straight through his own piss.

Like that time Matt Gaetz, who always looks like he’s wearing an ill-fitting Matt Gaetz mask, hired his new lawyer…

My god. My god this anthropomorphic rat has been dragged through his own piss so hard he might have to piss again, just from accidentally taking in too much of his own piss.

Cyberzone gave him the ol’ Cocktails two-slide execution, to put him out of his misery:

And then Valriuk put him right back into that misery.

What we want to do is reward one of you for going the extra mile and doing something awesome to engage with the whole community, but here’s the problem: All you motherfuckers are doing that! We can’t pick and choose between the many cool things you’re doing. There is no winner because there are too many winners. But we have to choose one, and so we choose idle cruelty: Valriuk is the winner for being the meanest to that dude who looks like a mole rat’s dick. Congratulations! You’ll receive custody of the precious Prince photo, such as it is after Djonin finished with it.

Now, standard PoxCo Retaliation Procedures™ dictate that Djonin be destroyed in a perverse manner, but his eyes kinda lit up when said that, so we just shot him.

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll just shoot them.

Comments

Christopher Horne

Good to see that Prince’s oddball adaptation of Dorian Gray wasn’t entirely lost to history... congratulations everyone!

Jeff Orasky

Less Luthor is quite possibly the sickest burn you could hit a goon like that with. Amazing.

Vooster

You guys burned Marc Muk so hard I'm still feeling the heat a weeks later.

Fatamatician

Just a simply amazing community. You guys are the best.

LyraV

Feels like I rode your hilarious coattails to Appreciation Day!

LyraV

I want the Meat Tank shirt but I dont know that I desire the burden of trying to explain it.

Vooster

**High-fives** I finally achieved the American Dream of exploiting a deeply personal part of my life for internet points, and I couldn't have done it without your help!

FancyShark

To anyone that has not yet visited the Discord, I strongly urge you to give it a try. The community rarely bites, and when they do they almost never target the softer organs. Also, everyone must bear witness to the epic heist of the San Francisco Public Library.

Stephanie Reinheimer

Finding my name on here after a particularly shitty past several years was a bigger pick-me-up than I expected. Like a smile from the gods. While it may not be the same as residing in Olympus’s golden palaces, to quote another priceless intangible American cultural asset, “I have seen the top of the mountain. And it is good.”

sissyneck

well i feel like my jaw droppped in awe or should i say my jawsh dropped in jawesh when i saw what josh created even before i saw the picture the words "hot dog/pickle/macaroni and cheese" got me holy cow this is the kind of hot dog content made me sign up for this kickstarter in the first place i'm gonna go wash the dog medication out of our bundt dish and get that one a-bubblin tonight!

FancyShark

Congrats to you for getting mentioned, and thanks for helping me tag along!

LyraV

real talk: getting a virtual high-five from my favorite Hot Dog Commentator has left me utterly mollified. pfffhh thank you gah. the Dogg Zonne is the 9000th level of awesome, i never question my presence here...

LyraV

I was up half the night reading Heathcliff comics...nothing is any clearer but i definitely Want 'the Garbage Ape' shirt now and there's one thats the Garbage Ape in a beard and stovepipe hat that says 'Honest Ape' like Abraham Lincoln. What does that have to do with Anything?