Hot Dog Appreciation Day: The Legalities of a Cursed Library (Patreon)
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Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we carved a heart with our names in it into an ancient petroglyph site and caused an international incident.
But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!
First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where the sumbitch got this stuck in our heads for days. DAYS.
We’re actually inviting Most Powerful Alex into Sissyneck Corner, an act of intimate trust and responsibility. Most Powerful Alex, what did you want to tell us?
According to the Transitive Moonfall Property, this implies the existence of Sissyfall.
Now let’s move on to the Comments, where the crippling theme song addiction that has bankrupted our families is finally getting some respect.
And to think Debra took the kids when we told them they could “sup on the finest podcast theme songs of the era.” Come back, Debra. We want to rub this in your face.
David Conner brings up an intriguing legal question.
What are the mechanics of the cursed library? Does it pass straight to the eldest heir like a YA fantasy book, or does it lie dormant, waiting for the next poor fool to pull a copy of 101 Hamburger Jokes?
The Parallel Viewmaster hails from a dark alternate future accidentally spawned by the first Liddy & Shcmidty Teamworking Day. Let’s all look back on Hot Dog from the year 2092, where man has evolved one nipple for mustard, one for ketchup, and six for relish.
Call Cobbs has a hot tip for Dennard!
This sounds like fun, haha those wild girls need to be caged! Let’s google +Mystikal +girl +cage oh. Oh no.
Uh… um…
Hey, Skebotron’s been counting the Herculoids!
Happy 25th anniversary to Gloop but NOT Gleep. FUCK YOU GLEEP. Tell Debra we don’t ever miss her.
Now on to the Discord where Gellaho purchases every stupid joke domain we make up and then points it back to the site so history will always have receipts on us. Let’s see what this one is-
Remember us, history! In the harrowed year of 2092, when a virus brainpak for easygoing men and the hallucinatory birds they fuck goes to buy its first choice of domain – remember us and curse our names.
Hey hold on, Mordred’s actually timecopping into the year 2092 right now. Can you check and see if that domain is still renewing for us?
She seems busy.
Dan B found bootleg Pokemon and they need just as much love as real Pokemon. Maybe even more, because of the hideous deformities which mean they should not be.
Pocket Man!
We’d say “wow, Srobbinsart really brought the tulpa we imagined on the Dogg Zzone to life!” But we already did that. On the podcast. Remember? He’s real now. Fuckmaster Skywalker loves you. Let Fuckmaster Skywalker love you with the six foot sandwich cock that chains him to earth.
Wad and Greg developed the Unified Theory of Altered Beast Punchlines together, but it was Wad who rigorously tested it.
But surely it can’t save Compu-Toon. Nothing can. R-right, Wad?
Good god. If that doesn’t get you grant money from Altered, Altered & Beast Inc., nothing will.
Tom was overcome by the holiday spirit, and also Bigfoot. Bigfoot did most of the overcoming, he’s very powerful.
Nobody’s beating this new holiday classic which all the children are calling “deeply confusing and maybe criminally stupid.” Congratulations, Tom! You’ve won the most precious object in this world: A candid picture of martial arts legend and unstoppable badass Jackie Chan looking bashfully proud of his adorable little outfit. Only one photograph that fits these criteria exists! He’d kill you if he knew you had it, just to protect his rep!
You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll rug ‘em.
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