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Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we’re putting on a local theater adaptation of Point Break where the two of us play every single role. Including the sex scene.

But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where all a man wants after a hard day of work is a Barq’s and some cajun tots. Is that truly too much to ask?

We all knew that friend who wasn’t allowed to play an elf for fear of the devil. His name was Sissyneck.

Sissyneck doesn’t often lose his temper, but when he does, know that one thing is true: Something is going up an ass.

Now let’s move on to the Comments, where you guys are really getting the whole Hot Dog vibe these days. Vinegar Tom understands the best Hot Dogs are made from the parts of many things you shouldn’t ask questions about.

Herb sums up the duality of the Hot Dog experience…

Scribbler Johnny read our business plan and leaked it to the public.

While Matthew Harris appreciates the positive impact we’re having on the world.

The Parallel Viewmaster read Dennard’s breakdown of The Book of Vile Darkness, and learned empathy for the most misunderstood victim of all: The child-enslaving Dread Emperor.

Jeff Orasky can spot a culture war cuck regardless of which shape they take, from boulder, to sword, to cage, to slightly larger cage, to shorter, wider cage.

David Conner celebrates Bigfeets Day in style. That style is Dickensian.

Daniel C Kennedy has a series of incredible reveals. ReelShort is still a thing! ReelShort hires actual actors! ReelsShort hires Hot Dog actors! ReelShort is using hot dog actors to remake the best movie ever filmed!

Kevin Hanlon simply speaks the truth.

Next it’s time for Weekend Updape with Gellaho! Let’s introduce ourselves (no eye contact, butt elevated in submission) to the new apes Gellaho wrangled for us this month!

It’s HYPE APE! The ape you can ONLY understand if you have access to the secret exclusive Discord channel. Get HYPE the only way HYPE respects: By spending money without thinking about it!

Flow Ape knows the ancient African secrets of pissmancy. The many upcoming gorilla urine references will make sense right now to anyone who joins us for Meat Parties, our biweekly Discord film festivals for Hot Dog Champions and greater. This will make sense to everyone else in about a week, which will be too late for thousands of men suffering from terminal bladder explosions.

Now on to the Discord, where it was Velo who first brought us the revelation that shook Big Piss to its core.

If you’re still not pledged at our Hot Dog Champion tier, you’re not watching our Meat Parties, which means you’re not only missing out on breaking gorilla urine news, but also vital chimp knife updates!

Cyberzone really wants us to install Skyrim on our smartfridge, but Dan B is here to call that bluff.

Vooster is our go-to source for Dolly Parton baking news. Something we cannot live without. Henry is our source for food abominations, Jakesy is our source for combining those things, and Adrienne is our source for Dolly Parton Food Abomination parody songs. It takes a village to Hot Dog.

Mo never let Compu-Toon go. He’s doing the vital research to expose Charles Boyce for what he really is: just slightly stupider than we already knew.

Milly drained the reservoirs of his creative muse for one single Ben Affleck ass grope Space Jam reference, and it was all worth it.

TomServo sums up the dynamic of the Dogg Zzone podcast nicely.

Vanpire has strong opinions, Keith has biting questions that must not be answered.

It’s been a while since we had a Great Annual Hot Dog Drag. Where the whole Discord comes together to just roast a deserving target from head to toe. You know who’s had it good for too long? Elmo’s dad.

That’ll teach you, you food stamp puppet son of a bitch.

Brett Ellefson is one of our most prolific Hot Dog artists, and after this masterpiece? We’ll just say it: The most erotic.

There’s simply no denying the massive impact Gorilla Flow has had on Hot Dog, our lives, and our shattered toilets. Velo, you brutally urinating piss gorilla, you’re the winner!

Your prize is this photo of martial arts legend Jackie Chan looking bashfully proud of his cute outfit. It’s an impossible candid moment that was only captured once, and never again! You must treasure and protect it.

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll piss right through their god damn head like a power washer going through soft cheese.

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You can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM.

Comments

Amber M.

You guys are why I answer "Jackie Chan" to the prompt "adorable" when playing Apples to Apples.

Max Rockatansky

That Queen Of The Damned DVD cover has awakened feelings in me that can only be understood in The Upside Down.

Skebotron

Sentence I never thought I (or anyone else) would ever type: "I'm sad I missed out on the Gorilla Piss saga."

Skebotron

I'll give you this: it's the calmest I've ever seen Brockway, illustrated or otherwise.

Alex Schmidt

wow Daniel C Kennedy congrats!

Jeff Orasky

If anything, you guys went too easy on Elmo's dad. I know for a fact he lies on his community service log sheet.

FancyShark

Congrats to everyone! Especially Velo, who proved himself an MVP in record time. And special shout-out to David Connor because that was my first time seeing that post and I will treasure it.

The Parallel Viewmaster

I WOULD HAVE WON IF IT WASN'T FOR PEOPLE WITH TALENT! I HATE THEM ALL!

sissyneck

well i made the mistake of covering up the beard with my hand and just lookin at those queenly eyes and now i have a new computer wallpaper but the resolution is pretty bad

Bonnybedlam

I guess I missed that podcast. Maybe that's a good thing?

Chris “Ace” Hendrix

I wish I could adequately describe my desire for that QotD poster on a shirt and/or full back tattoo.

Lord Mo

Fuck yeah, my dogged and bizarre/situational persistence pays off exactly as it should: pointlessly and to no real effect

Swift Justice

Since it's as good a place for feedback as any; the FUCK have you guys done with your archives and search engine? I tried looking up an article and every single result is on a different individual page? The fuck kind of madness is this? Your web designer should be fired and probably institutionalised.