In need of Cooking lessons (Dungeon Meshi weird TF) Draft (Patreon)
Content
“Uhm, Falin. How long have we been separated from the boys already?” Marcille the elven mage asked her human companion and friend. Falin just stopped for a moment to think.
“Maybe five hours or so?” Falin answered in her usual slow and factual tone, not sharing the panic of Marcille at all apparently. Then she quietly continued with what she was doing before.
“And this is a dining room for what looks like an abandoned mansion inside of the dungeon?” Marcille asked again, and Falin responded just as calmly. “Looks that way.”
“Then why are you cooking all those things together in a pod?!? This is clearly a trap, you know? I can feel the enchantments on those meals!” Marcille desperately points towards the cauldron that Falin was cooking with, however Falin just handwaved her comment.
“Relax, I know. I can feel those enchantments too. That's why I am boiling them to get rid of all the poisons and enchantments inside.” Falin spoke confidently, though Marcille wasn’t as convinced.
That's when Falin started to pull things out from the cauldron again, putting them on separate plates that the dining hall already graciously provided. Though with every portion Falin pulled out of the pot, Marcille’s face soured just a bit more.
“Falin, please think about this. We are in a dining hall trap, in the middle of a dungeon with no apparent way out. When we arrived the food was already served. And some of the plates even attacked us! Do you really think this is safe?” Marcille pleaded, though Falin just continued to put plates onto the table.
“Haaa…” Falin sighed as she put the last plate she prepared onto the table and sat down, staring down Marcille. “Do you still feel magic emanating from these dishes?”
“N-No…”
“When was the last time you ate something?”
“...this morning?”
“Are you hungry?”
“...kinda?”
“Same situation here.” Falin declared breaking eye contact and going for the food. She separated the plates a little bit better and even went as far as to slide one of them over to Marcille. The smell alone was enough to make her salivate a little bit. The whole thing really smelled incredibly.
“Are you joining me for food?” Falin asked with a smile.
“Alright…” Marcille finally gave in.
And the moment her teeth sank into the first dish, she immediately regretted not agreeing sooner. As always, the food of monsters tasted so much better than it looked and the hardest part about it was definitely the jump over the shadow to start eating in the first place.
“Becaush thish shtuffs ish jusht sho goood…” Falin brabled, her mouth half full as she took another bite. And then another. She was wolfing the stuff like there was no tomorrow.
“Schlow down fhere Phalin…” That's when Marcille realized that she was doing the same. She never felt so hungry in her entire life and that food was barely filling her. In fact, it felt like it was making her even more hungry. Like she was being…
“Phalin! We arth beinth hypnothished!” Marcille tried to speak, however that’s when her stomach started to growl. She felt something moving and shifting deep within her, yet the thing she noticed more than anything is how her stomach felt even emptier than before. That’s when she felt like her butt was moving the chair further back, even though she barely moved.
“Oh? Hram! Pthat? Phat ish Schorpion meat your haveshin. Hram! And I’m haveshin Minophour schteak!” Falin declared proudly, not wasting a single beat biting into more and more meat in front of her. And although it was hard to concentrate, marcille could tell something was wrong with Falin. Severely wrong.
Falin was gaining height and muscles at an alarming rate, quickly making the table look kiddy sized to her. At the same time her arms almost doubled in thickness, with the muscles almost seeming like they wanted to jump out of her arms, they way they were bulging. Not to mention that her shoes just got completely trampled as her feet were literally replaced with hooves.
Marcille however didn’t fare much better. While she had tried to ignore the push from her butt before, when a sudden tail burst forward from her behind, reality came crashing down on her. Instead of a regular human butt behind her, now there was what looked like a scaled, thick scorpion body attached to her, where she could even feel eight new limbs sprouting out from all around it.
And even worse, her legs started to contort even harder than her butt. They were lifted up and rotated to point forward, then blew up in size and split apart, all while Marcille could do nothing but eat more of the scorpion meat. Then her legs reformed and hardened, taking on a very distinct shape.
Those weren't legs anymore. Those were pincers.
“Thash not whash I meansh! Hram! We neesh to schtop! Hram!” Finally the plate in front of Marcille was empty, making her think for a moment that maybe that was the moment to finally break away from the spell. But no, instead her arms just involuntarily grabbed the next closest plate and pulled it in front of her.
“Oohhhhm! Hram! Greatch Schwoich!” Falin commented, also grabbing the next plate and stuffing her mouth full again. “Thash Orcs Meansh you hash schtere. I’ll schtry the drakph schting.”
“Phaliiiiin! Hram!” It was pointless, Falin was completely under the spell. And so was Marcille, but at least she kept her head. Gave her the privilege to watch as Falins already monstrous body changed even further, as the chair gave in with a thunderous crash when a thick tail pushed out from just above her butt, shocking Falin but doing nothing to stop her from eating. She was just now sitting on the floor as she stuffed her face with more meat, causing two horns to grow from her head and her hands to be covered in yellow scales while her fingernails turned to claws.
In Marcille’s own eating frenzy, she could feel that her upper half was being affected pretty hard this time. She felt like she was gaining weight rapidly, both in the good way and in the bad way. Her belly and arms felt more wobbly and pudgy, but at the same time she felt like for the first time in her life, there was a lot of power in her movements. Like in a way where she could crush the table, would her arms do what she wanted them to.
When she was just about to finish another plate, she felt her nose being pushed up, then flattened against her face. At the same time her long elf ears began to reduce in size, not becoming human, but becoming more flappy and less dignified. Marcille was hating every moment of that.
“Orschos steak or… Hram! ...woush shou phrepher phour arm phear meash? Hram!” Falin asked, which Marcille barely heard and then didn’t even have time to think as her hand just grabbed the next dish without her consent anyway. She had probably eaten around five to six times her daily intake, how was she still this hungry?
“Plish makesh ush Shtooooooph! Hram! Ugn?!?” Even after a single bite, Marcille could feel that something incredibly wrong was about to happen to her body. Something super wrong. She could feel her entire upper body stretching being torn apart to both sides, increasing her shoulder width a little bit.
However, her head didn’t stay centered. It moved to the left with the pull, leaving her entire body uneven. But only for a moment, as the next moment she felt something pushing out from deep within her, moving towards the right side of her torso. At first there was a dent, then a hill, then something that resembled a sphere appeared next to Marcilles head, before she realized… it was a second head. A second almost identical orcified head.
Looking over at Falin, she was also struck by a case of extra body parts that shouldn’t be there. But in her case, just below her already impossibly muscular and thick arms, a second pair of arms with the same definition and muscles pushed out of her body, bringing the count up to four for her. To which Marcille almost shed a tear. Except, when Falin finished her plate of food, something unexpected happened…
“Oh. The food is gone.” Falin spoke, a little bit of disappointment in her voice. Marcille finally had a moment to breathe a sigh of relief again.
“Thank goodness too! Who knows how much we would have changed if this supply lasted any longer!” Marcille declared, straight in the middle of frustration and relief. At least now that strangeness was over…
“I dunno. I think you would look even cuter with a few more monsterification. You really rock that look Falin, just saying.”
Both Marcille and Falin were staring at Marcille’s second head, who had spoken for the first time just now. Falin with a soft blush, Marcille with absolute horror and disgust.
“What? Falin is a cutie and I don’t care who disagrees with me. The truth is the truth.” The second head declared, apparently very proud about her opinion.
“...do you think Senshi can fix this?” Falin leaned forwards and whispered into Marcille’s floppy ears.
“...I certainly hope so.” Marcille whispered back.
“I can hear you, you know!” Second Marcille declared angrily, crossing their hands with a pout. “Although I do agree that this…” she gestured at her lower scorpion body. “...is very inconvenient.”
“I hope Laios comes soon.”
“Me too”
“Me three”
With those shenanigans finally over, they now had three more things that they didn’t have before. Monstrous bodies, a new companion and an underlying fear of what will happen when Laios finds them. But the one thing that they didn’t have anymore was hunger. Because despite all the magic and traps, neither of them could deny that the meal was delicious.
Delicious in Dungeon.
—
Are there edible traps? Only takes one meal to find out.
Commissioned by JDBurger