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Disintegrity 45 remade ! (Patreon)

Published:
2020-06-18 01:35:37
Imported:
2021-01

Content

If the previous page I talked about I said I still had some appreciation for how cool the old page looked in part thanks to how busy i was (43), well, this one... This one is just busy and ugly. And that's that. Well no, that's not that, not all the panels looked bad individually, but we'll get to that.


Panel 1 is one of those where Larsen just looks... off. Mostly the remade is  the same but prettier, altho the vibe is a bit different, cos of the change of expression, colors and framing maybe the new one feels less intimate ? Hard to say. But I de-emphasized it to leave more room for the panel below. Also god damn the pink line spereating said two panels with the french lyrics just written on top ? Awful. Fucking awful. It looks like I just wanted the page to be done so I gave no thought as to how to present it all back then, just slapped the lyrics on htere and called it a day. It's so ugly.


There's a bunch of anime/manga dumb memery in the old page which starts with panel 2, wherein the very pink hue was supposed to be some shojo-style filter. It was half hearted at best and looked awkward but I still feel like it's best to keep the idea so panel 2 is now the same thing, but not shit. Also these two panels are shrunken to give some breathing room to the page, as I often do nowadays.


Panel 3's typical manga gag was Larsen snotting out blood which is the gag when characters see something sexy, a rush of blood just drop from their nose. In retrospect I just find it weird to put it in Disintegrity. So I removed it. I otherwise expanded on Zee in this panel compared to the old one cos I felt like it was the most exciting panel of the page, so I might as well show it off more.

That being said it kinda leads to the page being less easy to read. You go from panel 2 to the speech bubble "did you also have dreams..." and then... then where ? Keep going down Zee's body ? It kinda leads to the very last panel tho. Or just go from the speech bubble straight to panel 4 right next to it ? But then you're not looking at Zee's body ! It's a mess. BUT WHATEV'S I didn't feel like touching up the shape of the panels so that's how it is.


Panel 4 is the same but less weird. Panel 5 and 6 are the only two that retained some of the old linework ! Mostly panel 5, there's like two lines left in panel 6 at best... Not much to say beside that, they''re bascally the same but better.


Okay bye

Files

Comments

matt

aw man 45 really seems extra upgraded! I approve of dialing back the more obvious anime tropes while keeping the same feel - makes things a bit more coherent. I will say, I was okay with zee having a bit less ab, a little more flab in his physique - but it doesn't feel out of place, you only notice it by way of comparison to the old verison. is there some kind of bullshit armchair media analyst thing at play here? like you know "before when you were less experienced you borrowed from the language of anime because it's what you were familiar with, but now that you've developed your style a bit more you know how to communicate the same feeling using a more original blah blah blah?"

Jarrod

Fantastic remaster. This is the full Zee body shot page, and now that it actually overlaps other panels, it's really the focus of the page whereas in the original, it was dark and felt hidden, sort of. I love the new panel 2. I'm all for the hearts framing the panel. Super cute. I never noticed the blood spurt in the original. Good choice to remove that, I think. Panel 6 is also one of my favorites from this. Love seeing two bodies pressing together. It's a small panel, but it really stands out to me. And damn, Zee's tail is loooooong in that last panel =) Great work as always RVB.

Eldkatten

Switching back and forth between the old and the new version sometimes make me wonder whether this is actually the same page I'm looking at. So great! I like the changes you applied to panel 2. While it shows things really happening, through the framing it looks like a memory from those dreams Zee is talking about. And maybe that's what it is about: Zee having a dream become true. Though I understood the nosebleed-thing at the time I read the first version, I didn't find it appropriate, I was like "oh no, now even VonBoche uses this stupid element" ;-) Now that you lost the blood, Larsen gets a much finer "Oh, wow, that's hot!"-aura. Less crudeness, more subtleness. Great! I don't have any problems with the order or flow of the panels, neither in the old nor the new version. While other pages - in this comic and elsewhere - really leave me in doubt where to look next and thus even sometimes make me lose trail of the story itself, this page never confused me in that area. You know, it *is* possible to follow Zee's body all the way down - and then all the way up again to continue reading the dialog :-) Though I say that often (every time?), it strikes me again with this page: through the finer lines, more small details and less... hmm, strange?... unusual zoom angles and levels, I can understand the page far better visually in the new version.

RodVonBoche
>>38836788

TROPES that's the word I was looking for. Anyway, it's not bullshit armchair analysis, it's a general truth really. As you grow older, you express things in different ways. I drew the japanime tropes back then cos I thought it added dynamism to the scene and is visual shorthand that plenty of people are accustomed to. I still hold that to be mostly true but since it's not universal, necessary and has neither build-up or pay-off... It's jhust not worth the pixels.

RodVonBoche
>>38838640

I remember being disappointed in panel 6 when I first drew it, cos I thought it was actually really hot and deserved a bigger canvas than just a tiny fraction of the page. Not that I've really changed my mind, it's even more hot now. Ohhhh welll....

RodVonBoche
>>38844886

I get what you mean. The super thick lines I used to draw with makes it hard to parse the visuals properly. It's why I thinned it. As much as I lovve thick linework, it just doesn't gel well with the way I draw body and the amount of details I wanna put in, it doesn't make contact between two object/bodies very obvious and sexy, it's just not great for smut in general. So there's a lot of stuff that I cut back since working on the original Disintegrity. That's also why I wanted to redo it, cos I wanted to be happy with how it looks again.