Mental Health & Billing Pause (Patreon)

EDIT: Billing is now paused until July 22nd! Thank you for all the well wishes everyone, I truly appreciate it <3 I'll still be posting stuff on here during the break, it'll just be more sporadic and not necessarily align with the usual rewards. Thank you for your support and understanding <3

TL;DR I'm not doing too great right now. Pausing membership for July.

Hey everyone. I want to start this off by saying that I am fine, but I've been feeling incredibly overwhelmed lately. I try to be pretty transparent about my mental health and what you can expect from throwing your money at me every month because I feel like that's important to communicate.

I'm overworked.

I'm constantly stressed and anxious about delivering on Patreon rewards and commissions. I have so many big projects in the air at once right now that I feel like I need to be work on all of them at the same time and I just end up getting decision paralysis and failing to make meaningful progress on any of them. I'm so deep into so many projects and none of them are in a state that I feel I can show the progress on them. It's like I'm knee deep in mud. It's slow. It's messy.

I feel like I'm suffocating.

Every time I sit down at my desk I can feel my resting heart rate speed up. Every time I look at the calendar time has slipped farther and farther away, and I'm falling farther and farther behind schedule. I still have posts queued up for twitter. I'm still ahead schedule but I don't feel like I am. The few commissions I am taking on are covering the bills I need them to. I can afford food. Everything sounds like it should be great right now, but I've never felt worse. I just feel like I'm panicking and failing and unable to fulfill my obligations despite everything being fine.

I need a break.

I'm pausing membership for July and I'm going to work on things at my own pace. As some of you may know, my birthday is July 8th and that rounds out the 4th of July weekend pretty nicely. I was already planning on trying to take a bit more of a break during that but I think I need to put my foot down and just commit to it. I'll still post content here as I complete stuff, there will still be the weekly doodle pages. I've got the next couple pages kinda queued up already so I wont have to worry as much about those. Everything will just be pretty sporadic with when and what stuff is posted.

I'll probably pause billing tomorrow or possibly even later today. The billing cycle should automatically resume around the same date next month.

So what's the plan?

The first order of business is the Zoey Ref sheet. I'm gonna take a few days and just draw my waifu. I love her. She makes me happy. It'll probably take me until around the 24th to round out the remaining work on it. Its big. Its a lot. I'm already 80 hours into it, and still have plenty more to go, but its coming together. And I shouldn't have to do this again for a while 

After that It's finishing up the second half of the Tohru animation. It's rapidly ballooned into secretly being 3 shots or rather 3 extensions of the main loop and its a lot more work than I had originally planned. The linework is pretty much done for it, but doing a clothed/nude alt on top of all the shots, has just been super taxing. It's looking great so far though, I'm still really excited to work on it and see it completed, its just been a slog to get through the clean up phase.

Next is the Alex Lovense sponsorship. I want to get this done. I haven't really worked on it too much since I posted the WIPs, and I need to make some headway on it. Probably not knocking out the whole project at once unless I'm feel particularly frisky but I want to at least get a few of the shots taken care of while I've got time.

After that is ITL 2. Its not just a loop, it's 5 shots ¯\(ツ)/¯ Oops. The idea was too much fun for my brain to hold back and I've got the extra budget for it this time around. It is still a smaller project and its a lot of work, but I've already got the script and prepro done for it, just haven't had time to throw together some proper WIPs. I've got VAs picked out so it'll have sound at release too but I don't want to rush it. I learned my lesson with Sinner and a Show. I need to take the time to do things right.

I've still got that private animation comm to take care of too. That one should be short and I'm not gonna get suckered into the project expanding in scope into something larger than I scheduled it out to be. Might just knock this one out after the Zoey sheet so I dont have to worry about it.

I'm going to start being a lot more selective about what I choose to work on and what I have active. Small stuff is fine amidst a single larger project. But 3-4 big things at once is hell. So yeah, I'm just gonna take things a little slow for a bit. Gonna try and relax and tune out of social media and stuff for a little and get myself back to a better place. Hope you can all understand.

Thank you all again for the all the love and support. I really am proud of the little community I've managed to wrangle together here and your continued support really is invaluable to me continuing making this my job. Even just writing everything out and having a plan has already helped me calm down quite a bit.

Love,
 - Trevo