Milkers in the Dungeon Chapter 1 (Patreon)

"Honestly my guy... Props to you, I have been reincarnating fellow alternate Jake's for a good few decades at this point. But although I get an odd fucking reincarnation every once in a while, you are the best this year." 

"But never once have I seen or heard a Jake dying after swallowing a mouthful of breast milk down the wrong hole and choking to death on it." My sponsor chuckled at my awkward expression.

"I mean, they say you can drown in a tablespoon of liquid... Like five times that much and uhhh yeah." I said weakly as I shrugged helplessly.

I mean sure, dying due to drowning on the fat titty I was sucking on sucked... No pun intended. But I needed to just own it! 

"So what happens now? Does my particular death matter?" I asked with trying to get us back on track while my sponsor pushed a plate of cookies at myself.

But I just gave him a dark look as right next to the plate of cookies was a steaming large glass of milk... And I had little doubts that the milk was from a human instead of a cow.

"Haha alright alright calm down man." My sponsor chuckled while I took a cookie but... I most certainly didn't go for the milk.

"So yeah. First of all, do you have a trauma when it comes to milk now? Or did the reincarnation and body rebuild fix that up?" My sponsor asked curiously and I shrugged and just went for the milk.

And after taking the best fucking sip of milk in my life. I said calmly. "Nope. No, trauma it seems. But what the hell is this milk from? Taste's too sweet to be cow or something?" 

"Not a what. But a 'who'?" My sponsor said with a knowing grin and said. "Anywho! That milk is from a Godzilla who became a goddess of life with whom I became friends. And she sells her milk to the Jake's to help with our small armies of children."

Even as I blinked and stared at the large glass of milk in confusion at how to feel about that. My sponsor just laughed and clapped his hands.

"Anyway! Yeah your death was fucking funny so I am giving you a bonus to the Roguelite system I wanted to give you. I will be making you a prime Quazar so that instead of only being able to use a single element from the Periodic Table, you can use elements based on the specific milk energy you will have taken from any waifus you get." He explained.

I nodded slowly in understanding before I asked the crucial question. "So where am I being reincarnated at? I mean titty milk powers equals DXD right? Or some other half-hentai settings or universes."

My sponsor chuckled and nodded. "That is a good point man, I should indeed send another one of you to DXD with the titty milk powers as it just fits. But no, you will be going to Danmachi, as you will be feeding monster stones to your Roguelite system to level it up and such." 

Raising my eyebrows he continued to explain. "It's not a typical system as you know it. The monster stones will be converted into energy inside of yourself which will be converted into faster growth and such. To say nothing of how hitting energy concentrations will have the system convert the excess energy into skills, spells, and other goodies."

I raised a hand making him pause and I asked firmly. "What rogue-lites is the system based on?" 

My sponsor raised an eyebrow at my firm expression before he shrugged and said. "Eh I was going to save it for a surprise. But either way here is a general list of stuff I took from that you would recognize though much is more basic stuff like strength, magic, and defensive buffs."

He then took out a file and handed it over to me and I quickly read the list of the sources he took from to make the system.

[Vampire Survivors- Witchfire- Warm Snow- Magicraft- Hades]

I frowned reading this and I looked up to my sponsor and said. "How is this going to work? Like so much of... Literally of them are like bound up in items and what not?" I asked in confusion.

My sponsor nodded and said. "That is true, hence why when you level up with the Roguelite system. You will also be able to unlock the items in question, its the only true cheaty part in the system actually as the rest of the power you get is what you get from dumping monster stones from monsters you and your own party kill." 

"Ah so I can't just pay another familia to just hand me a cart filled with monster stones I see." I said with a wry smile and he nodded firmly.

"Not that I am against you gaming the system. Far from it, but giving you such a limit will make your life much more... Reasonable as you will. And allow you to actually keep track of your growth better and train for it." 

There was a pause as I accepted that before nodding and as I went to hand over the file I blinked as my sponsor flicked two bright lights into my chest and I shivered feeling my body changing to accommodate myself becoming a Quazar, and internalizing the system.

Because I could literally feel the system hooking up to my very soul. And having anything fiddle fucking about with your soul was a very, very uncomfortable feeling to say the least.

"Whelp, so one last favor for making my laugh my ass off. Is there a goddess you want in particular to give you the falna?" My sponsor asked with amusement as he looked at me with a searching eye.

And I realized he was doing a waifu test... To see if I would ask for like Freya who was a bag of trouble, Hestia who was as vanilla as it came. Or likewise another goddess.

But I just took a breath before I said with a wry smile. "I want a goddess with big mommy milkers. I want a goddess who will love and spoil me, so I want-"

My sponsor held up a hand to silence me and he nodded sagely. "I see... I see indeed, very well my brother. You will get exactly what you asked for. And maybe even more if you play your cards right."

With that I felt a myself pulled out of my chair and with a snap of my sponsors fingers a large portal opened up behind me. "Good luck out there. And when you reach level ten with your falna, you may even see me again."

I was sucked into the large multicolored portal behind me and my vision was swallowed away as I was sent flying through the portal towards my new life.

-

After a short trip through whatever portal I was shunted through I came out of the portal with a grunt of discomfort as I hit a soft patch of thick grass that broke my fall. And I just stared up at the late afternoon sky above my head.

"Now where the hell am I going?" I muttered to myself as I took in how I was surrounded by park land that was atop a large hill.

But as I took in my surroundings on the large hill, I easily saw it in the distance. I saw the massive city walls and more importantly, the fucking massive Tower of Babel that was the center of Orario.

"Wait. Did I fucking get dropped off outside of Orario for no good reason?" I groaned as I got up as I quickly realized that I had a small backpack on my back that I didn't have previously.

And within the backpack was a smaller bag of coins that were obviously Valis, along with a couple extra sets of clothes and a simple steel dagger.

I took a deep breath and then obviously put the sheathed dagger into my pants so I could draw it easier. As I was well aware that monsters most certainly existed here on the surface of the world. Not just within the dungeon itself that was in the center of Orario.

But just as I fully got to my feet, and was about to begin walking towards Orario that looked like it was a good half a dozen or so miles away. A massive beam of light slammed from the sky above my head into the hilltop I was on, like dozen meters away.

And I could feel the roiling compressing power within the massive beam of light that blinded me with its power. But the beam of light only lasted a few seconds with it quickly fading away.

"Ohya? I think I missed Orario?" A soft feminine voice spoke aloud and I blinked away the spots in my eyes.

And as I regained my vision, I paused and wanted to kneel and pray to my sponsor. As he was obviously the best dude ever!

Soft teal colored hair that went down to her ankles, large winding horns on the back of her head, sharp elfin ears, glowing pink eyes that had X's for pupils. I could feel the divinity rolling off her form as she took in her own surroundings and then noticed myself with those pink eyes softening at seeing me.

"Hello, young man. Do you know the proper way to Orario? I just arrived here in Gekai as you might have noticed haha." Tiamat said gently.

I took a deep breath so as to not drop the metaphorical spaghetti as Tiamat's outfit was... Distracting to say the least with how it clung to her very voluptous frame.

"My name is Jake Bariss, and I myself am making my way to Orario to become an adventurer. You landing right in front of me has to be the fates putting you in my path. So of course I will happily guide you Orario." I spoke firmly.

Tiamat giggled and put a hand in front of her lips. "Oh? That is a fair point then Jake was it? I am the Goddess Tiamat, the goddess of motherhood, and life itself. So I will be in your care." 

Not even a minute in front of Tiamat I knew that she was a soft kind goddess as not only her domains put her in that direction in being on the caring side. But there just an innate unescapable kindness in her eyes.

"Come along then Lady Tiamat. Orario looks to be a couple of hours away on foot from here." I spoke with Tiamat pouting at the realization of how far we were.

And so we started walking with Tiamat obviously making conversation with me. "So Jake, how do you plan to become an adventurer?" Tiamat asked curiously.

I shrugged and said jokingly. "Well, I got this really good poking stabby thing called a knife. And all those monsters in the dungeon are perfect for being stabbed. But first I need to get a Falna obviously."

I gave Tiamat a look and asked curiously. "Besides myself. What are you going to do Tiamat? Are you going to link up with another god or goddess for help to get started? Or do you even want to start a Familia?" 

Tiamat smiled softly and said. "Hmm I mostly wanted to play with and help mortals rather than getting into the dungeon business."

Tiamat giggled and she danced in front of me and with a hand on her large chest she said firmly but happily. "I planned to come down here and open up an orphanage or maybe even an extended daycare. As so many adventurer's leave behind children when they fall in the dungeon and their prayers hit my ears in Tenkai."

I was silent for a moment before I smiled softly and said. "Tiamat, that's a beautiful thing to do. That's a million times, a better reason for you to be here in Gekai, rather than the many divines who just want entertainment." 

Taking a breath, I tilted my head to the side and asked. "Well I was a chef for a good while, so when I can. I would be happy to cook for your orphanage at times. Anyway, how are you going to support the orphanage monetairly though?"

There was a pause before Tiamat blinked and said in confusion. "Money? Why would I need money to open an orphanage? It's for the good of everyone, and once I go down there I am sure I can ask for support from that rascal's Ereshkigal, Ishtar, and several others?" 

Tiamat herself just stopped as I likewise stopped walking and Tiamat looked behind at me in confusion as I just gave her a look of despair.

Taking a deep breath, I said slowly. "Tiamat... People are assholes, many gods and goddesses especially are assholes in the worst way. Some people will literally go out of their way to burn down your orphanage with all the orphans inside of it for laughs. Ishtar I know for a fact won't help you unless she plans to turn your orphans into whores." 

Tiamat's face darkened at my words and I could smell salt water as she seemingly didn't have her divinity under full control so I held up a hand and said gently. "Tiamat, Orario isn't a kind place.... You know that right?"

There was a moment of silence before Tiamat looked away towards the city and said with a voice of disappointment. "I am well aware Jake Bariss, but I cannot help but hope for things to just work out."

I shook my head and I just stepped forward and stood in front of Tiamat and I gave her a small smile as I said. "Well, goddess Tiamat. You are certainly kind, but Orario is a city that spits on kindness. Let's keep moving though."

We kept moving and by unspoken agreement, we moved onto lighter topics until we finally reached a road which obviously was leading to Orario so we began to follow it.

But as we were on the road, I heard a skittering noise and I looked over to the side and from the forest on the sides of the road came three small goblins.

"Really? Goblins on the main road to Orario?" I demanded in exasperation even as I pulled the knife out of my pocket as Tiamat stopped as well. "Tiamat, stay behind me." I said firmly.

Tiamat was silent as she knew that with her mortal body she couldn't really do anything to the goblins unless she was willing to test her mortal form's ability to tease the edge of using her divinity.

She obviously didn't want to get sent back to Tenkai after just landing here. 

The three goblins only came up to my hips with their heads, and they were likewise armed only with sharpened sticks with sharpened rocks bound up in the sticks to make some kind of a shitty axe.

With the knife in hand I took a deep breath as I came up to the goblins while still keeping an eye around myself for any other goblins or perhaps even worse.

But the slightly bigger goblin snarled making me focus on it as it sprinted towards me with it's humanoid form moving at a fairly fast pace.

And what did I do to the midget monster sprinting at me with it's mouth frothing furiously at the thought of killing me?

I just kicked the little shit in the shoulder with a sweeping kick and as that goblin got kicked to the ground, I just re-oriented myself as I brought down my knife into the shoulder and neck of another goblin that came at my side.

Then I backed away from the third goblin that tried to chop into my knees with that stone axe and with my knife wrenched out of the second goblin's neck and shoulder area. I grabbed the stone axe that was swung at me again from the third goblin.

And I lifted up the goblin as it held onto the axe unwilling to give it up with one hand as it weighed at most like thirty or forty pounds. Then a loud crunch rang out as I slammed my dagger into the goblin's chest breaking it's ribs as I had lifted it up into being an easy target.

I had to let go of my dagger and the goblin. As I saw the first goblin I kicked down was running at Tiamat past me and I just grabbed the goblin by the tufts of hair atop its head and I pulled it so I could grab its arm and then legs in my hands.

'Every adventurer needs some goblin genocide.' I thought as while holding the goblin in the air by its legs. And then I just smashed the goblin onto the ground head first with all my strength making a loud cracking noise as its neck or skull seemingly cracked in several places.

With the three goblins dead and or dying in short order I pulled my dagger out of one of the goblin's chest and gave Tiamat a look of concern. "You alright Tiamat?" 

However I was a bit sad that due to the fact that these were just surface monsters, that meant I couldn't get any monster stones that would unlock my rogue-lite system. Or maybe I needed a falna to actually unlock it? 

Who knows honestly.

But my distracted mind was calmed as Tiamat gently took my hand making me freeze as she said softly. "Jake, relax. Your hands are shaking."

I blinked and looked down at my bloodied hands that were speckled by the goblins hands and I saw how Tiamat's smaller soft hands had stilled the bit of shaking in them. "I- Yeah this was my first time killing a monster." I said as I gently unclenched my hands and could feel a bit of soreness in them as I had pulled the goblin's hair too hard and strained my hand.

Taking a breath I looked at Tiamat with a wry smile and said. "Alright, lets keep going. We don't want to run into any more monsters right?" 

But instead, Tiamat tilted her head to the side with her X-shaped pupils almost staring into my soul as she asked suddenly. "Jake, would you like to join my Familia? I can see a protective soul within yourself and you said it yourself. You who was in the middle of the countryside right where I descended from the heavens. This has to be fate right?" 

There was a pause as I processed the abrupt question. And then I said hurriedly. "Yeah! I would love to join, as I came to Orario to join a familia after all!"

Tiamat smiled and then she stepped forward pulling me into a hug with her giggling as she said proudly. "Yay! I got my first familia member inside of the first day haha!"

Once Tiamat's little dance with my form being held in her arms ended we kept moving for Orario. As we had to make our own destiny... And neither Tiamat nor myself wanted my Falna giving ceremony to happen with my face in dirt as she sat on my back.