Why You Should Keep Your Promises to Fairies: A Guide by Your Fae-vourite Enforcer (Patreon)

Alright, sunshine, gather 'round. It’s time for a little heart-to-heart on why breaking a promise to a fairy isn't just bad form—it's the sort of mistake that could have you endin' up in a right old fairy mess. You see, we fairies, especially those of us in the business of enforcement, don't take kindly to broken words and forgotten pacts. It’s not all twinkle and sparkles; forget a promise, and you might just spark off something... unpleasant.

First off, let’s talk about memory, shall we? Remember that time you wandered into the woods, got yourself in a pickle, and then some twinkly-winged creature bailed you out? No? Well, we do. Clear as a bell on a frosty morn. Just because your mortal noggin’s leakier than a sieve, doesn’t mean the event’s gone and evaporated. Magic's sticky like that, sticks in the corners where light don’t reach.

And here’s a tip: don't mess with the Queen of the Woods. Oh, she’s a right royal pain when irked, and her memory’s longer than the line at the chippy on a Friday night. Make a promise under her watch, and you'd better keep it, or it's not just cold shoulders you’ll be gettin'—more like frostbite in places you didn’t know you had.

Now, about keepin’ safe. Remember that circle you stood in, feeling all snug and secure? That was us, that was. Cross over that line without keeping your word, and let’s just say the welcome back ain’t gonna be warm. There’s no "out of bounds" in a fairy ring, and the penalties for trespassing? They’re creatively severe. Think magical mischief that’d make your hair stand on end—literally.

Oh, and let’s not forget the personal touch. We fairies have a bit of a soft spot, see? Enchanted by your giggles and rosy cheeks once upon a time, and what do you do? Grow up and forget like last week’s leftover takeaway. Break a promise, and you're not just breakin’ a deal; you’re breakin’ a heart. And a fairy's scorn? It's sweeter and sharper than the best East End pie you’ve ever had, with a side of revenge.

Here's the clincher: magic's got a funny way of twisting fate. Dodge your duties, and who knows what’ll come knockin’ at your door? Maybe a spot of bad luck that sticks to you like gum on your shoe, or perhaps a whisper in your dreams that keeps you awake at night. We fairies have our ways, and they ain’t always pretty.

So, keep your promises, love. Not just because it's the nice thing to do, but because in our world, a word is a bond, and a bond is forever. Break it, and well, you might just find out how creatively persuasive a fairy enforcer can be when it comes to collectin'. And trust me, I’m not just any fairy—I’m the one you really don't want to see on a dark night in the woods. Sweet dreams, darlin’.