So, Without Further Ado, Here Is Our Official Guide to Making Tea as a Stormtrooper Tea Slave (Patreon)

Welcome, stormtroopers, to the world of tea-making. As you all know, Lady Sith has mandated that you all must now double as Tea Slaves, because apparently, we don't have enough Tea Slaves left (or they keep mysteriously dying, but we won't get into that).

Before you begin your new role as Tea Slave, we must remind you that any and all mistakes will be met with swift and deadly punishment. Lady Sith takes her tea seriously, and any deviation from her exacting standards will not be tolerated (even if she doesn't actually tell you what those standards are).

So, without further ado, here is our official guide to making tea as a stormtrooper Tea Slave:

Step 1: Don't screw it up. Seriously, we can't stress this enough. Lady Sith will not hesitate to end your miserable existence if you can't make a decent cup of tea.

Step 2: Um...just keep trying until you get it right? We would offer some tips or instructions, but Lady Sith hasn't provided any. So, good luck with that.

Step 3: If Lady Sith shows any sign of dissatisfaction with your tea-making skills, just remember to stay calm, avoid eye contact, and slowly back away (or run, if you value your life).

Step 4: Pray to the Force that Lady Sith's tea preferences don't change (or that she suddenly decides to switch to coffee).

We hope this guide has been helpful (although we doubt it), and we wish you luck in your new role as a stormtrooper Tea Slave. Just remember – the fate of the galaxy may rest on your ability to make a decent cup of tea (no pressure).