HULL BY NIGHT REDUX - NO ONE ESCAPES HULL (Patreon)

Hello there, my lovely captives! I mean, potential players! I'm so excited to tell you all about my new campaign, Hull by Night! Yes, yes, I know my last attempt failed miserably, and you may be wondering why you're tied up in my basement, but trust me, this time it's going to be different!

Now, I know what you're thinking - Hull is a boring place, right? But that's precisely why it's so perfect for our game! Imagine the thrill of being a vampire in a city so dull that even the undead don't give a shite! And the local vampires—oh, they're a delightful bunch. You've got your chavs, your roadmen, your blingers... and let's not forget about undead footballer's wives, too - all named after types of wine, like Chardonnay and Merlot. They're always up to some kind of drama, those ones.

But wait, there's more! We've got a new cult in town, spreading their unorthodox teachings to both mortals and vampires alike. It's dangerous to the Masquerade, of course, but the local Kindred are too busy bickering and feeding to care. It's up to you, my lovely captives—I mean, players—to uncover the truth behind this Hull Heresy and save the city from itself!

Now, I know you may be hesitant to join my campaign after what happened last time, but I promise I won't let you escape this time. I'll be a better DM, I swear! And if that's not enough, I'm prepared to bribe you with homemade scones and a pot of tea... and if that doesn't work, well, let's just say I have a few more... persuasive... methods up my sleeve.

So what do you say? Will you join me in my quest to make Hull the most exciting place on Earth? Please say yes, I'm begging you! Pretty please with sugar on top?