What Defines Us - Commentary - Ch. 1-2 (Patreon)

Welcome to the story!  I've never done commentary before, so please be patient with my learning curve.  This is going to be part summary, part commentary, part random rambles about my thoughts – it may contain spoilers so PLEASE reach the first two chapters before reading this.

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Seriously, have you read the first two chapters yet?  I’ll wait…

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Ok!  Now that you’ve read both chapters, welcome to the commentary section for Chapters 1 and 2 of What Defines Us - my newest foray into White Rose.  I will be making this particular commentary public eventually (so everyone else can see what they’re missing out on!), but all future ones will only be available to patrons at The Curious Observer level and up.

I'm going to do my best to create this small commentary every two chapters.  As you've seen by now, we have Weiss' point of view and Ruby's point of view for Chapters 1 and 2.  This alternating perspective is going to continue throughout the rest of the story.  I'll be able to go into more detail in these notes later on, but at the beginning of the story there's still a lot I'm trying not to give away - mysteries as yet untold.

I thought of the idea for this story about two years ago.  At that time, I jotted down a few thoughts, shrugged my shoulders, and wrote Rush instead.  In my mind, What Defines Us was probably never going to be written.  It was just another random idea that would sit around and eventually fade away.

Well surprise!  I don't remember quite what happened, but before I knew it I was knee-deep in White Rose angst.  The story grew longer and longer and pretty soon…well, it grew to be quite long.  One of the issues I constantly faced was that I didn't feel some of the core themes in this story could be resolved quickly.  I didn't want to rush (pun intended) a resolution to the characters’ problems.  So it grew, and grew, and grew some more.

On to the actual story and the actual characters – I love writing Weiss' character.  To me, she's incredibly intelligent, methodical, and analytical.  Her mind is always taking things apart and piecing them back together.  It's very similar to what Ruby does with her weapons, but a more cerebral version of it.  Weiss is extremely capable – she knows what to do - which also means she knows what not to do.  This makes us wonder why she intentionally makes the wrong decisions while fighting the Grimm.  Why leave the howler?  Why waste energy?  Why, why, why.  (Answered in good time, my friends.)

Fortunately, it seems there's a guardian angel looking out for her.  Or two angels, more like.

In picking Weiss' saviors, I actually never considered anyone other than Coco and Velvet.  To me, they're the perfect forces to meet Weiss at the brink of defeat.  Coco's attitude is kind of like 'What the hell were you doing?' while Velvet offers a 'We know what you were doing – what can we do to help?' type response to the situation.  Weiss' respect for both of them means she doesn’t want Coco to look down on her for what she just did, but she also doesn't want Velvet's help – even though right now she sorely needs it.

And then there's Ruby…

Ah Ruby...I realized early in writing this that I've written a single one shot from Ruby's POV - and that's it.  I was never really interested in Ruby's character, but man, from the second I wrote Chapter 2 I was hooked.

She's fun.  She's goofy.  She's a hyperactive puppy on steroids.  But, most importantly, she’s just so, so, so sweet.  Seriously - there’s a heart of pure sugar in that one.

There are a lot of instances in this story where she's going to either say or think the most random thoughts – I like to believe this happens because her brain moves kind of like her semblance.  She's always moving fast, always thinking fast.  Whereas Weiss has a certain logical method to her thought process, Ruby just whizzes through a myriad of thoughts before landing on one.

Personally, Ruby is harder for me to write because I skew far more towards Weiss in personality.  If I write without getting into a character, I would write close to what I write for Weiss’ chapters.  Even in this commentary you might notice that I’m far closer to Chapter 1 than Chapter 2.  

When I approached Ruby’s chapters, I really had to get in the proper mindset.  I allow my mind to wander.  I write down the first thing that pops into my head or I think…what's the most random thing I could say or do right now?  That's Ruby, and she's such a delight.

That's not to say that Ruby is random and nothing else.  There’s a lot going on in her mind.  She has concerns and worries of her own, but also has a different way of expressing and processing them.  And she will (hopefully) grow and mature throughout this story.

Bumblebee is here too, of course.  I'll talk about them more later on, but for now just know that they're going to have a far greater presence and impact than they did in Rush.  They can be considered side characters, but this would be a much different story without them.

At this point, we have our four characters, we have our introduction, and we have tons of unanswered questions.  Two chapters in, what do YOU think is going on?  Why was Weiss away from her team?  Why were her actions reckless, at best?  What caused Yang's unfriendly reaction?  And, the elephant in the room, why doesn't Ruby recognize her own partner?

Some of these answers might be right in front of you, but the story has yet to unfold.   

Until next time, 

Miko