Welcome to Vale High - Commentary - Ch. 11-12 (Patreon)
Content
Another two weeks, another two chapters, another commentary! Things are somehow still rolling even though my life has been a crazy mess of repairs, unpacking, and trying to get settled in. Being able to stick to some semblance of my previous schedule helps though - it makes me feel like, even though I’m much busier than I was, I’m still accomplishing most of what I want to do. It all begins and ends with these stories!
An important milestone passed recently, but I didn’t notice until after it was already gone.
February 7th marked five years since I started posting fan fiction (I’d estimate I started writing fan fiction about...a day before that, or even that very day). Five years though! Over the course of those five years, I’ve discovered something I love, met some of the most important people in my life, and posted just under 1.5 million words.
Seeing as how I started writing on a whim, it’s remarkable how much it’s changed the course of my life. I have you all to thank for that - some of my longest-tenured readers who were here at the beginning as well as new fans who’ve helped push me this far. While I’m sure I haven’t had as much of an impact on your lives as you’ve had on mine, I hope that I’ve been able to give you some laughs when you were sad, or some tears when you were happy. (Wait a second…)
But enough with the mushy stuff! I’m just incredibly grateful and I hope you know that. I’ll stop waxing poetic now though and get to the important things - mainly, pointing out how clueless Yang is to Blake’s increasingly obvious advances. This time, those advances happen over lunch while they skip school together (something I’ve never done).
Chapter 11 is another one of those ‘I really need to get them alone time together - and not walking in the hall’ chapters. What’s interesting is that this chapter was a later addition to the story. I knew Cardin would mess up Penny’s project, I knew Blake and Yang would help fix it. It wasn’t until I was in the process of writing that I realized...wait a second, they just skipped lunch.
And an opportunity emerged!
I’ve never skipped class, so the concept of them leaving school during the day didn’t exactly come naturally to me. I had to think about it, like ‘hmm...how will they get lunch then…’ And then I remembered something from my own rule-following childhood...
My high school was near a Burger King that we weren’t allowed to go to during the school day, mostly because we weren’t supposed to leave the building during the day. Of course, that stopped basically no one from slipping out the side exits (of which there were plenty) and heading over for lunch. But not me! I never tasted the surely-spectacular taste of forbidden burgers.
Actually, I’d probably be so nervous about getting caught that I’d eat super fast and not enjoy it at all. Which was why I thought it was doubly funny that Blake was super composed about leaving during the day. (She’s my alter ego in this story.) And it was even funnier to have Yang be the one concerned about getting caught and in trouble. She’s the one who doesn’t care about getting suspended for punching people, but god forbid she get caught skipping class.
In this case, however, skipping class was totally worth it. How else would they have gotten so much one-sided flirting done without this time together?
I’m sure you’ve noticed, but Blake’s laying it on pretty strong now. Such great, completely obvious lines were thrown out, like these:
“I’m not picky. When it comes to food, at least.”
(I love how she implies she’s talking about books - we all know better).
“Whatever I want? What if what I want isn’t on the menu?”
(Woah there - take a number and get in line!)
“I’ll still get it for you! But if it’s really far away, you’ve gotta give me some extra time - a day or two, you know?”
“I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t take you that long.”
(Because she wants Yang, get it? It won’t take Yang very long to get herself.) (I’m sorry I just explained that.)
I just realized that I could’ve done something super meaningful and important with the combo meal number that they ordered. Numbers are a great way to add easter eggs without too much impact on the story. Normally, I’ll use a number that had significance in another story - like their apartment number in Rush or the door combination in WDU or...those are the only two numbers I remember right now.
But I just arbitrarily choose the number three for no reason other than choosing the first or second item on the menu seemed weird. Missed opportunity…
In future stories when you see the number three used, you can think ‘Oh, Miko’s referring to the number of the combo meal Blake and Yang ordered in Welcome to Vale High.’ (Or you can not think anything and just keep reading, because there’s no way I’ll remember something as obscure as that.)
Arggg same thing with their order number! Their order number is a random number I picked just because! Ok, well now the numbers three and fifty-two have special significance if they’re ever used again, which they probably won’t be (but you never know).
One thing I liked about this chapter is that we learned a little more about Blake’s school life before she transferred. We know she had perfect grades, but now we learn that she didn’t have many close friends, opting to be a loner instead. She also makes this comment:
“If I’d known this was what you’d be like, I think I would’ve transferred years ago.”
What I was implying with this statement is that Blake considered transferring before this year, but something held her back (uncertainty, most likely).
And then she gives us another piece of information about her life pre-story - that she’d been bullied before (which we already knew), but she learned to not react so they’d leave her alone. And that she shouldn’t care what they thought anyway. If she wanted to read, then she would read - bullies be damned!
Besides Blake and Yang stealing the show, Weiss is my subtle favorite in this story. She prickly, yet she still has a kind heart and looks out for her friends. I thought it was an especially sweet thing for her to cover Blake’s absence from class even though they’re ‘competitors.’ I also thought it was appropriate that as soon as Blake pointed out the nicety, Weiss huffed and stormed into the classroom. (In the next chapter, we learn that Pyrrha came up with an excuse for Yang as well. Although Pyrrha’s excuse made Yang look a little dumb!)
Ha, I totally forgot that Chapter 11 ended with another boxing practice and the infamous request to ‘hang out.’ I love that Nora points out that everyone can tell that Yang likes Blake (and vice versa) but Yang’s stuck second guessing herself.
One thing I’ve noticed, and one reason I’ve started using OCs in upcoming stories, is that using the villains from the show sometimes projects what’s going to happen. As soon as you read Salem High, you probably thought ‘uh oh.’ And hearing that Yang’s fighting Emerald probably made the ‘conflict’ even more obvious.
I don’t like that! It’s just like Nora projecting her moves while boxing - it gives away a part of the plot, I think. With an outside character, you don’t know what to expect in terms of if they’re good or evil. So, while I used Emerald here, future stories will have characters that we don’t know playing these side roles. That way, you won’t know what to expect or who to trust! That, to me, is much more fun. (Potentially evil too.)
But I never claimed to be non-evil! Or have I? I could see that being something I claimed at some point in time…
Wait until you see what kinds of non-evil things I have planned next! (Nothing too evil, I swear.)
But first, Chapter 12.
I wanted to point out a little something that connects to a small occurrence across other stories. Did you notice that at the beginning of Chapter 12, when Tai hugged Ruby he lifted her off the ground and swung her in a circle? Kind of like how Ruby spins Weiss in a circle when they hug (both in this story and in WDU)?
In WDU, Ruby picked it up from Yang, but who did Yang learn it from? And who did Ruby learn it from in WtVH? The answer I was going for - the thread of commonality between the stories and the greater web of their lives, is that it was Tai’s thing all along. He picked them up with they were little and swung them around in circles, and he continued doing it even when they got older. Now it’s something they do with the people they’re closest to. A family habit, you could call it. (One of their other habits might be falling for smart, pretty girls…)
Also, did you remember what I mentioned about the library?? How Weiss suggested it as a makeout spot? Did you notice a tidbit in the beginning of the chapter?
“Yeah! Weiss gets there early too, so now I get to hang out with her in the morning!”
“Oh yeah. Totally forgot Weiss gets there early. Does she hide out in the library?”
“You bet! And I’m allowed to sit with her if I’m reallyyyyy quiet.”
To be fair, at this point in time the two of them aren’t using the library for makeout purposes. Don’t you think it’s coincidental though, how Weiss suggested that spot when that’s where she and Ruby spend time in the morning?
I am, of course, suggesting that Weiss offered that location because she might have spent some time fantasizing about using it herself, with Ruby. Which really makes me want to write more White Rose, for some reason…
Know who else I should write more of? Penny. She’s such a pure soul! Very much like Pyrrha. I like Pyrrha more, but Penny is also a sweetheart who lightens any story! Did you notice how she referred to her project when telling Yang the grade she got?
“My teacher loved our project! He said it gets an A plus!”
‘Our’ project, she says. More than willing to give Yang and Blake credit and ownership even though they ‘only’ helped her put it back together. It will cause quite the uproar when people look inside and see Yang and Blake sharing a bed together, especially because...well, they’re in high school!
And then Pyrrha shows up...the original sweetheart of sweethearts. I’ll admit that I was happy to somehow fit a side of White Rose and Arkos into this story. I kind of want to write an Arkos story now, although I’m not really interested in Jaune at all…and it might be hard to write a story where I’m only interested in half of the main characters.
Although...I didn’t care much for Ruby before I wrote Rush. But when you write a story where the POV character falls in love with another, you kind of need to find reasons to fall in love with them too. I suppose the same could happen with Jaune, of all people. Who knows! Anything’s possible, I guess. But I’m going to stick to Bumblebee and White Rose for now - I still have more than enough of those stories to finish up before adding another pairing!
Speaking of Rush, did you catch the Rush reference in this chapter? I think it was fairly obvious, right?
I’m referring to Blake’s idea of a date at an ice skating rink, of course! If you don’t remember, Weiss and Ruby went ice skating together for an unofficial date. That’s when Ruby fell and hit her head, and Weiss about flipped out trying to take care of her. I’m sure Pyrrha and Jaune will fare much better though. Except maybe Jaune. He seems a bit clumsy.
As for the part where Yang’s coming up with other date ideas, that’s really just me coming up with cute Bumblebee oneshot ideas and then suffering through not being able to write them. (I mean, I could write them...but that takes time away from other things…) How cute would a scavenger hunt in the library be though? Pretty sure that’s the fastest way to make Blake fall in love with you (take notes, Yang.)
And Blake absolutely wants to see the longest movie to spend the longest amount of time with Yang. Which is also really cute! (In my opinion.)
Did you also notice the not-very-subtle way Weiss is winning Ruby’s heart? Through her stomach, of course.
“Thanks, Weiss! But wait...I thought you got an extra one because you wanted it!”
Smooth, Weiss. Real smooth. How many days in a row do you think she can come up for excuses as to why she suddenly has two cookies but wants zero?
And did you notice the not-very-subtle way I got out of writing another practice after school?
“Oh...I forgot to tell you that I need to go home right after school today.”
I just gave Blake something to do! With one of the leading characters occupied, we don’t really care about what happens after school because we know they won’t be together. If I’d had something important that needed to happen when Blake wasn’t around, this would be the ideal way to have that occur too. In this case, however, I just didn’t feel like we needed to sit through another practice of the two of them ogling each other.
Because that’s totally what they’re doing - Blake is just much better about not being caught.
“Do you actually watch? Every time I look up there, it looks like you’re reading!”
“Am I?” Blake asked while backing away. “It’s nice to know you’re watching me though.”
Blake, in general, is better at hiding her emotions than Yang is. And Yang has this unfortunate habit of blurting things out (like the statement above) and giving away her feelings. That’s part of the reason why we love her though, right?
One thing I’d like to mention is that I have no idea what Blake needed to help her mom with after school. Not even the beginning of an idea. I just said she had to help because that seemed like a probable reason why she’d have to go home on time. (Which, by the way, suggests that she could always go home on time if she wanted to.)
If I think about the story like a tree, with the main plot being the trunk and biggest branches, this comment about Blake going home to help is like a tiny twig that branches off of a larger branch. It’s a dead-end though - it’s just an offhand comment that leads to nothing (in my mind, at least).
Sometimes, however, I actually fill out these other branches. I’ve mentioned them in the past - how I come up with the stories that happen before, after, or during the spaces we don’t get to see. This particular one has nothing attached, but many of them do. It might be interesting one day to go through a completed story and pick out all the bigger branches I thought of but never wrote out.
That reminds me - did you know I once started a RWBY choose-your-own-adventure story? A long, long time ago. It was called Black Dust, and you played as Yang trying to solve a mystery, but in the process made choices that affected what ship you got in the end. For example, if you kept choosing to help or support Blake, you’d end up with Blake (obviously). But you also had to figure out the mystery, because Professor Goodwitch was going to ask you who you thought was responsible at the end.
It was very ambitious. And that’s why it never happened. I only got a little into it before I realized it was a massive undertaking. I would want it to be a choose-your-own-adventure worthy of the genre. Like, for instance, one part in the beginning was Yang going through a workout at the gym. You can choose to skip warm-ups, but then she gets hurt, and that would impact your ability to hold on to a suspect later in the story. Which means you wouldn’t get a clue that would help you solve the mystery.
I decided to rescue my sanity and let that idea fall away.
I actually just visited the website that let you build the story, inklewriter, and apparently it’s shutting down! How sad…
Also, wow. My writing style for this story is...old. I’m going to share the link here so you can see how far I got (hint, it’s not far at all). Please ignore typos and brevity, etc., etc. This was never supposed to see the light of day; I’m only sharing because it’s going to disappear anyway!
https://writer.inklestudios.com/stories/bjfj
Ok, that was a tangent. But I think I finished the commentary too! Hooray - back to writing! And no, not Black Dust, sorry!
(‘Black’ is extremely difficult to spell...it always comes out ‘Blake’ the first time.)
Until next time,
Miko