Home Artists Posts Import Register

Content

This is officially the second-to-last commentary for this story!  Isn’t that crazy?  Doesn’t it seem like time has flown by?  Although at the same time, it feels like this story has gone on forever.  Maybe that’s because over the course of posting this, my life has changed so much.  It can’t have only been a few months, right?  

Apparently, it has been!  And now we’re reaching the end - technically, Chapter 18 was ‘the end’ of the story, with Chapter 19 being an epilogue-type deal (like usual).  So if you really think about it, the story is already over.  (Cue slight panic attack.)

It’s fine though.  Every story comes to an end eventually (except Red Carpet Romance, apparently…).  But I’m excited to move on, and excited for you to read what I have next.  Also excited to finish that next story, but you know, technicalities and such…

But first - this story!

You know how I say that every chapter is my favorite chapter?  Well, I might say that Chapter 17 is slightly less of my favorite chapter for one reason, and one reason only - there’s no Blake!  I don’t know how that happened...well, I do.  I decided to write a chapter without her so that Yang could debrief from what happened the day before and figure out how she felt about it.  I thought it would feel too rushed to go from the kiss immediately into Blake’s house (and another kiss).

Plus, Chapter 17 gave us the opportunity to see the super-cute Xiao Long household in action!  One of the best parts about that is seeing how supportive the two sisters are of each other.  In this chapter especially - Ruby supports Yang.  Like how she’s hanging out in Yang’s room instead of her own - just, in general, keeping Yang company while she recovers.  And then, of course, she scrambles after Yang when Yang decides to find the book Blake gave her all those years ago.  

To the attic they go!  Where I was all-too-pleased to bring back the monkey backpack from the first chapter.  That’s a recall like...11 years in the making.  (In story time, at least).  I thought the idea of Ruby having a monkey backpack was so adorable, I wanted to bring that memory up one more time before the end of the story.  It served as a reminder of how cute they used to be!

Something I wanted to point out about Ruby’s backpacks (something I didn’t expect to be such a big deal in this story), but Mr. Squidly was made up only to make the chapter longer.  But he fits so well into the context of the chapter, right?  

I usually aim for a 5,000 word average chapter length, which is more of a guide than anything else.  What I’ve found is that 5,000 words is about the right length for some plot points to happen while also keeping things short and contained.  I reached the 10k+ word chapters in What Defines Us, and I’ll personally say that those felt too long to me.  But I’ve been trying to write faster-paced stories since then, which is a big part of this decision.

Obviously, if a chapter needs to be longer or shorter, I’ll do that.  But what I’ve found is that longer chapters can often be split into two.  I like to think it prevents too much information from being dumped on the reader in one sitting.  But short chapters I try to beef up with some clearly important squid backpacks.

You know what they say - importance is in the eye of the beholder.

Or is that beauty?

Speaking of beauty...how about the green and purple toucan Ruby colored in one of her coloring books?  Did the colors and creature ring any bells?  Maybe because that’s the same picture she was working on when Yang got into the fight in Chapter 1?  It’s pretty ironic that it got packed away in the same box as Blake’s book, but I’m all about irony.

Of course, I guess you could make the argument that Ruby might’ve colored multiple toucans green and purple.  My response to that would be...did she name them all Barney?

(I probably just aged myself there - people probably don’t even get that reference anymore.)

(And toucans, by the way, have the prettiest blue eyes.  Don’t believe me?  Look it up!)

But Yang is successful finding the book - isn’t that great?  Notice I never provided a title because I didn’t think it needed one.  Plus, sometimes being too specific captures your attention too much, you know?  If I gave a title, it might make you think ‘oh, what’s this book about?’ or you might try to draw parallels between the book and the story.  Or you would’ve picked up one of the pretty big clues Blake dropped without Yang or us realizing it - that she handed Yang a copy of that exact book when they were in the library together.  That’s why she was so intent on Yang’s reaction to it - she wanted to see if the title or cover would spark a memory.

It didn’t, of course, but it serves as a great ‘groan’ moment for Yang here as she realizes that Blake gave her so many hints.

That reminds me - I really want to write a little oneshot alternative universe from Blake’s POV where she drops hints for Yang, and gives more and more obvious hints while Yang continues to not get them.  For example, day one she goes to school really anxious and excited to see Yang again.  And when Yang comes over to talk and Blake says her name, she waits on bated breath only to realize that Yang doesn’t recognize her name.

After that, she’ll escalate the hints until they become super obvious - such as finding and wearing the same purple backpack from elementary school.  And Oblivious Yang will say something like, “Oh, super cute backpack.”  And Blake’s like, “...and?

I imagine Blake at home pacing in her room with a whiteboard covered in crossed-off ideas that haven’t worked.  And eventually, she comes up with the master plan - she tracks down the four boys from elementary school and convinces them to come back and pick on her again.  That way Yang can ‘save’ her again, and...

And, let’s be honest, Yang probably still wouldn’t remember.

Anyway, I think it would be funny, but probably won’t happen based on the list of other stories I’ve yet to finish.

Oh, one part I really love about this chapter is this:

That was her mission ever since that day - befriend everyone.  She found a purpose in going out of her way for those who were less popular.  That’s how she and Ruby became friends with Penny - the sweetest girl Yang had ever met.  And Nora - the loose cannon who Yang convinced to get into boxing with her and was now one of her closest friends.  And then Ruby went and befriended Weiss - the know-it-all rich girl who didn’t have any true friends.
It all started with Blake - the one Yang hadn’t helped.

I like thinking about how Blake started all of this.   How she shaped Yang’s life just as much as Yang shaped hers.  While Blake has realized this for a long time, however, Yang is only just realizing how important and impactful that day was.  

Consider if Yang never stood up for Blake and decided to go out of her way for others - then she’s not friends with Penny or Nora.  She never sticks up for Jaune, which means she doesn’t become best friends with Pyrrha.  She never starts boxing, so she’s not on the boxing team - maybe she never finds something she excels at, maybe she never makes it into Vale High.

Basically, her life would’ve been different too had it not been for the lesson she learned that day.

I love that Tai comes into the chapter and offers an adult perspective on things - mostly, pointing out how much Yang helped Ruby become the person she is.  And if Yang helped Ruby so much, she definitely had at least some impact on other lives as well.

Also, I found it so funny that as soon as Tai sees Blake’s book, he says “Ah, this was you versus four boys.”  He has such a great memory for an old man!  (He’s not old, I’m just teasing - he can handle it!)  I just thought it was funny for him to immediately remember when Yang has spent the entire story in the dark.

Can you imagine what might’ve happen if Tai met Blake early on?  He probably would’ve narrowed his eyes and said something like, “Aren’t you that girl…?”  And boom - the story ends.  That would be a much simpler way to write...maybe I’ll try that next time.  Set up this epic story only to end it when something fortuitous happens.

Actually, I’d probably get so much hate mail for that, so let’s not!

What I love most about this chapter is that after Tai gives his spiel, Ruby walks in and confirms what he just said - that she never worried about being bullied because she knew Yang would be there for her, and that allowed her to grow up to be the unique individual she became.  These lines, in particular, made me cry during proofreading:

“Whenever people thought I was weird, it didn’t matter because I knew you had my back no matter what,” Ruby whispered.  “And I’ll always have yours, ok?”

So cute and supportive...

Just like Yang is being supportive of the burgeoning romance between Ruby and Weiss!  As we saw in this chapter, there are a few hints that things are kind of progressing there - the first being that Weiss actually gave Ruby Neptune’s rose from several chapters ago.  But she took it a step further and actually bought a vase for the flower.  How she bought a vase during the middle of a school day is beyond me, but she’s Weiss Schnee.  

Maybe she called one of her chauffeurs and told him to buy a vase and bring it to her at school.  That seems like the most likely answer.

Also on the White Rose front, wasn’t it cute that Ruby called Weiss at night?  They only talked for a few minutes though, which I did so Ruby would come back to hang out with her family.  But also, if you think about it, Weiss was in the middle of studying for a big test but took a break to talk to Ruby.  Ruby was her study break.

Which, obviously, a study break is a time to do something enjoyable or relaxing.  (Woah there, Weiss - not that type of ‘do.’)  But I think it’s sweet that when Weiss wants to take a break, she wants to spend that time talking to Ruby.  As if she couldn’t be anymore obvious about her feelings...

Ugh I really want to write White Rose...I’ve written a lot of Bumblebee recently, so I think I need to write some White Rose now.  We’ll see.  I want to finish up some of these half-written stories I have littering my google docs too.

White Roseeeeeeee.

Which brings me to one of those half-written stories - the title of which I hid in this chapter.  

Super Zombie Slayers 6!

Technically, I randomly made up the title of the movie for this story, and then decided that maybe it would be fun to write a zombie story.  So...I started writing a zombie story, and maybe one day it will be finished (that might be the story I try to finish next?).

I love the image of them watching a movie together as a family.  I think this small scene shows how tightly knit they are, and that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.   Like, I could probably write wholesome Xiao Long household forever.  (Not really.  I need me some angst every once in a while.)

In their family dynamic, did you notice that Yang ruffles Ruby’s hair, and Tai ruffles both of their hair?  Wonder who Yang learned it from… (The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, right?)

Moving on to Chapter 18, which is the ‘last’ chapter of the story.  We start off with a nice, leisurely Saturday morning for Yang, until she discovers Weiss sitting at their kitchen table.

Ok, but how cute is it that Weiss came over to their house and worked on homework while waiting for Ruby?  In this story, I still think of Weiss as someone who doesn’t like to be at home because of the pressure she feels there.  She likes spending time at Yang and Ruby’s house because they have a more ‘normal,’ laidback family.  

I didn’t know that Weiss’ dad would be such an a-hole in the show, although I kind of suspected it would play out like that.  So I especially like the thought that she really likes Tai, and maybe he even treats her like one of his daughters.  I could see that.  He seems like the type of dad who would be fatherly and nurturing to his daughters’ friends.  (“Friends”)

Anyway, Weiss had to come over in the morning because I needed Yang to have a way to get Blake’s address.  And how else would Yang get the address if not for Weiss and Blake working on a project together?  I suppose Blake could’ve already given it to Yang for some reason, or maybe it was already written inside the book!  That would’ve been cool, although less likely.  Blake probably moved since elementary school, so the address wouldn’t be helpful at all.

So I decided to use Weiss as the dispensary of knowledge, which seems appropriate for her character.  But she probably wouldn’t have given out Blake’s address if she hadn’t witnessed Yang’s super obvious display of feelings.

Do you remember this scene from the library?

Reaching out, Blake gently took the book from Yang’s hands and ran her fingertips across the title before flipping purposefully through the pages.  While she did so, Yang couldn’t help but notice how tenderly she handled the book.  Each touch was filled with care, as if she was acutely aware of how delicate the thin sheets of paper could be.

Blake handled that book carefully because it was important to her - she had fond memories attached to it because it was part of the moment that brought her and Yang together.  Now, in Chapter 18: 

Running her fingers across the cover and smiling, Yang looked up and found Weiss watching her closely.

What do you think Weiss sees as Yang essentially does the same thing?  Plus, I’m pretty sure that, at this point, the entire school is aware of Yang’s massive crush.  And, maybe Weiss has heard some comments from Blake that made the mutual attraction all the more apparent.

Basically, what I’m saying is that Weiss wouldn’t give out Blake’s address without having good reasons to believe that Blake wouldn’t mind if Yang showed up on her doorstep. 

Before anyone shows up on anyone’s doorsteps, however - 

Woah, I just had a really vivid flash of imagination where Weiss is standing on Ruby’s doorstep in the pouring rain, begging forgiveness for something.  I could totally build a story around that moment...first - why does Weiss need forgiveness?  What did she do wrong?  It probably had something to do with not fully committing to her feelings for Ruby...or trying too hard to fulfill her family’s wishes instead of being the person she wants to be.

Then the question is...does Ruby forgive her?  Obviously, maximum angst says no.  So Yang answers the door instead - no, Ruby answers the door.  That’s even better.  Ruby answers the door and is just...completely stone-faced and still pissed at whatever Weiss did (jeez, way to go Weiss).  And Weiss is in tears apologizing.  (Again, it’s raining.)  

But, the important part here is that Weiss doesn’t apologize correctly.  Because if she did it right, of course Ruby would forgive her.  So she has to have not learned her lesson yet.  She still slips in something that suggests she hasn’t quite grasped what Ruby’s truly upset about.  

That’s why Ruby will say that they shouldn’t see each other anymore and close the door.

Heartbroken Weiss on the doorstep.  And then she walks home in the rain.  It’ll take her a little more time to fully understand what she did wrong, but when she does...she’ll be running back to Ruby, making an incredible scene.

I need to not think about it too much, or I’ll be starting another story, so...back to this one!

Before we get to anyone else’s doorsteps, let’s take a detour and celebrate Pyrrha and Jaune finally getting together!  I’d call theirs a tertiary romance, which somehow still felt important to the story.  Probably because it was important to Yang, because she’s a great and supportive friend. 

I know it’s not mentioned in the story, but I imagine that Pyrrha and Jaune did end up going ice skating like Pyrrha mentioned earlier.  (Kinda like how Ruby and Weiss went ice skating in Rush…)  Who do you think the better ice skater is though?  My money’s on Pyrrha, because she seems like the all-around better athlete.  That, and Jaune seems like a klutz on the best of days.  Although apparently he has a lot of sisters?  So maybe he’s sneaky good...

But back to Blake’s doorstep - I loved bringing Blake’s mom into the story.  Loved it.  Even though it was only for a chapter, it was totally worth it.  It was a great opportunity to remind everyone that, yes, they’re still in high school.  Which means that, yes, there’s parents around who love embarrassing their children.

The best part about it though was how thoroughly Kali embarrassed Blake without even trying.  That, and Blake was so cool and collected for the entire story, seeing her suddenly reduced to blushes was an adorable change of pace.  

It starts with Kali not-so-stealthily trying to eavesdrop when Blake and Yang are talking in the entryway, and continues when she decides to interrupt their...ahem...special moment.  Thinking about this chapter through Kali’s point-of-view is so funny though.  It starts with “Oh wow, who’s the girl with a black eye on my doorstep?  Should I be concerned?”  And then she sees how Blake and Yang smile at each other and goes to “Oh, I see what’s going on here…”

But then they go upstairs and she’s left in the dark!  And she probably did her best not to meddle, but she just has to know.  So she makes up a reason to check and see how things are going.

Which, things are going pretty great for the newly-minted couple!

I think, for Blake, learning that Yang kept the book was just the cherry on top of an already-massive crush.  That, and Yang is so freaking remorseful about not helping Blake all those years ago.  I actually think Yang is too hard on herself, but I was really glad to hear this from Blake:

“We were just kids,” Blake assured her softly, gently tilting Yang’s chin up so they made eye contact once more.  “What matters is that you did stick up for me.  And that stayed with me to this day.”  

Blake is wise beyond her years, but she’s also right.  They were just kids.  Yang is expecting an awful lot from someone who was only 7 or 8 years old, which isn’t fair to herself.  Fortunately, Blake’s words help, and then we arrive at one of my favorite crush admissions in all of my stories:

“Do you like me?” she asked in a single breath, watching a flicker of surprise register in Blake’s expression before rushing forward.  “And not in a ‘she saved me from bullies’ type of way, but in a more, you know...um…in a romantic way?”

Way to go, Yang.  Super smooth.

Actually, she was pretty smooth!  At least, she was when Blake said ‘yes,’ by recalling their first meeting - where Blake tricked her into ‘flirting like a prince.’  Of course, Blake then plays off of that sentence with another line: 

“And how does that make you feel, my liege?”

This brings us to the infamous makeout (I’m deciding it’s infamous), and the even more infamous Mom-terruption.  This was followed by a short sequence of events that went something like this: 

Kali: embarrassing the heck out of her daughter, playing the ‘mom’ card.

Yang: foot-in-mouth syndrome, enamored with embarrassed Blake.

Blake: embarrassed.

Part of what was so great about having Kali in the chapter was that she provided a lot of insights about Blake that we never got to see.  Like how her parents were confused about why she wanted to transfer to Vale High so badly (for Yang - but she couldn’t tell them that).  Or - one of the sweetest things - that she was really angry about what Emerald did.

Can you imagine this version of Blake getting angry?  I bet that’s how Kali’s suspicions were peaked.  And a big, flashing neon, sign said “Crush alert” in the Belladonna household.

I think one of the most important points of this story is in the last few paragraphs, where Yang basically says that she wasn’t the one responsible for who Blake became.  Blake always had it in herself to become the strong, independent person she grew up to be.  Maybe she latched onto that shared moment as inspiration, but she was the one who put in all the hard work to get to where she was.

Surprisingly, I’m pretty happy with how this story turned out, and I’m excited to get the epilogue out there.  In the next commentary, I’ll go over the story overall, and my motivations for writing it to begin with.  Until then, thank you for reading and supporting! 


Much love,

Miko

Comments

Whyarewehere

I enjoyed the 'behind the scenes'! I also thought that the zombie movie was a hint of something to come in RCR. Anyways cheers!!