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That evening, Yang felt even worse about bailing on Mr. Belladonna’s birthday party.  Usually, she would stay until the very end and help clean up.  That was the best part, actually - just her, Blake, and Blake’s parents putting everything away while chatting up a storm.

Once the cleanup was finished, they might crack open that bottle of scotch and share stories in the living room.  Yang might even learn more adorable or adorably embarrassing moments from Blake’s childhood.  Missing that opportunity left a pit in her stomach, but it was nothing compared to the stomach-twisting envy she felt thinking about Sun and Blake.

“Just forget it already…” she muttered while throwing her shirt at the hamper.  It missed and fell on the floor, but she shook her head and left it there.

The worst part was that she knew her reaction was unfair.  She’d flirted with plenty of girls in front of Blake over the years, and Blake never faked an illness because she couldn’t handle it.  She rolled her eyes sometimes.  Or sighed and shook her head.  Or, most often, politely excused herself.  None of those were remotely similar to Yang’s unceremonious fleeing from the situation.

Blake was single.  Sun was obviously single.  The two of them could flirt with whomever they wanted, including each other.  And Yang, as Blake’s friend, should be capable of witnessing those advances without causing a scene.  That was the lower bound of friendship though.  If she wanted to be a great friend, she should encourage Blake to go for it and have some fun.

Yang couldn't imagine herself doing that anytime soon.  Did that make her a bad friend?

Hoping for a distraction, she walked into the living room and immediately looked at her phone.  The party probably ended a while ago.  She wanted to call Blake and see how it went, but she also didn’t want to interrupt family time if Blake was still there…or dinner if Blake decided to go out with Sun after all.

The thought made Yang close her eyes, tilt her head back, and sigh.

It was a family event.  Maybe that was what bothered her.  It wasn’t a coffee shop or a club, where it was socially acceptable to flirt and exchange numbers with attractive strangers.  It was a birthday party.  They were there to support Blake’s dad, not pick up girls.

This was why Yang only invited Blake to her family get-togethers.  Her family was important to her, and Blake was important to her, making their time together incredibly meaningful.  They were there for each other and no other reason.

The other girls were just distractions.  Short-lived plans to occupy time.  Bringing them home would steal attention from the more important reasons that brought everyone together in the first place.

Obsessing over it accomplished nothing though.  The best she could do was forget about it and move on.  She needed to stop thinking about it first, so she needed a distraction.  And, since the person she wanted to distract her was the one person currently off the table, she grabbed her phone and called Ruby.  After two rings, Ruby answered.

“Hey Yang!” she said, her cheerful voice working wonders on Yang’s dour mood.  “What’s up?”

“Not much.  Just seeing what you’re up to.”  Hearing a crowd in the background, Yang frowned and tried to place the sound.  “Are you out?”

“Yup!  Weiss and I are at the fair.”

“The fair’s back already?” Yang asked while leaning against the counter.  Even though she couldn’t see Ruby, she could practically see Ruby’s nod.  “Did you get cotton candy?” she asked next, and Ruby’s giggles were all the answer she needed.

“I already had two,” Ruby admitted before giggling some more.

“How are you not spinning from that much sugar?”

“Great metabolism?” Ruby suggested, much to Yang’s amusement.  “But what’s up?  Need something?”

“Nope, just calling to see if you wanted to hang out.  Guess Weiss beat me to it!”  As soon as Weiss’ image popped into Yang’s mind, she frowned and added, “She doesn’t seem like a carnival ride and fair food type of person…”

“She’s never been before!  Can you believe that?”

“I can, actually,” Yang replied with a chuckle.  “Is she having fun?”

“I hope so…”  After mulling over the thought, Ruby lowered her voice and whispered, “She’s super competitive though.  Should I tell her the games are rigged?”

“Is she spending a fortune trying to win?”

“Basically.”

When Ruby giggled at the situation, Yang couldn’t help but laugh.  Even though she had only met Weiss once, that struck her as something Weiss would do.  Throw in Ruby’s presence, and she was probably even more determined to prove that she could foil those tilted games.

“Maybe let her try a few more times then clue her in.”

“Good idea.  It’s adorable watching her, but I don’t want her to spend too much…”

“I can’t even imagine what’s ‘too much’ to her.”

“She has a weird relationship with money…” Ruby conceded.  “Hey, hold on a sec?”

“Sure.”

While Ruby lowered the phone and said something to Weiss, their voices blending into the background, Yang examined her fingernails and sighed when they reminded her of this morning.  The effort hadn’t been wasted, of course.  She liked looking good, and Blake’s reaction had been more than worth it.  She just wished that she could have shown off a bit more before leaving.

“Ok, sorry,” Ruby said several seconds later.  “We’re gonna grab dinner in a bit - want to come?”

“Are you asking if I want to be your third wheel?”

“If you’re bored and want to eat?”

Yang smiled at the invitation, and the knowledge that Weiss just agreed to let her tag along, but ultimately shook her head.

“Do you honestly want me to crash your date?”

“I mean...that’s not exactly how I planned tonight to go…”

“Nope,” Yang interrupted before Ruby said too much.  “Thanks for offering, but I’m good.  Really.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”  Yang added several nods with the response, which Ruby seemed to pick up over the phone.

“Alright...then see you tomorrow morning?”

“Yup.  Have fun.”

“Thanks.  See you!”

Once the call ended, Yang set her phone on the counter, rested her chin in her hands, and sighed.  Ruby sounded really happy, which made Yang happy.  At the same time, Ruby was spending so much time with Weiss that she didn’t have as much time for anyone else.

Yang had always known that she wouldn’t be able to demand her sister’s full attention forever, but that didn’t mean she was ecstatic about the change.  And if Blake started dating someone, too…

Blake was busy without a relationship.  Throw a guy into the mix, and she probably wouldn't have any time to spend with Yang anymore.  Or Sun would tag along whenever they saw each other, making her the perpetual third wheel and destroying the one-on-one time that she coveted so much.

That future felt inevitable right now, with Ruby already in a relationship and Sun probably wooing Blake at this very moment.

This was the problem with Yang’s problem.  She had no interest in a long-term relationship, but not everyone shared her fear of abandonment.  Which was a good thing.  But if she couldn’t get over that anxiety, she would be left alone while her friends and family moved on.

The irony didn’t escape her.  Her fear of being alone only made her more likely to end up alone once everyone else coupled up.  Even if she still had friends, and Ruby would always be her sister, she could say goodbye to the deep connections she enjoyed now.

Wallowing in that depressing thought, she unlocked her phone and scrolled through her contacts.  What she found was a list of shallow connections that could hardly be called more than fleeting friendships or dalliances.  Quite a few of them were on the same page as her - looking for nothing more than a nice night and some good conversation.  Several of them wanted to move things ‘to the next step’ - a phrase she had come to anticipate and dread.  A couple names stood out as the girls she had actually kind of liked, who were fun, easygoing, and lasted for more than a date or two.

She hesitated with her finger hovering over one such name.  She didn’t necessarily want to reach out - the two of them had stopped talking for good reasons - but she also didn’t want to be that person.  The perpetually single friend.  The constant third wheel.  Invited out of pity when the people she cared about would rather spend time with their significant others.

Faced with that future, she typed a message and sent it.

Before she could regret the decision, she received a response - an acceptance of the invitation - to which she sent a simple ‘Sure’ to before shoving her phone away.  Now she had plans, but it didn’t feel like a solution.

What was the solution...hope Blake stayed single forever?  Just thinking that was enough to make Yang feel like a horrible friend.  She didn’t want Blake to be single forever unless Blake wanted that.  But, considering how much Blake loved cheesy romantic comedies and unrealistic romance novels, that wasn’t what she wanted.  She was a romantic at heart.  She wanted to be swept off her feet.

One day, it would happen.  And, when that day came, Yang had to be happy for her.  She would be, because seeing Blake happy made her happy.  At the same time...it would mark the end of one of the best times in Yang’s life.

The doorbell drew her away from that disheartening thought, and she glanced at the clock before checking who it was.  Her date shouldn’t arrive for another half hour or so, but maybe one of the neighbors needed to borrow something again.  Though they never returned what they ‘borrowed…’

Fully prepared to greet a relative stranger, Yang opened the door and felt her heart promptly jolt.

“Blake?” she asked, struggling through disbelief while her heart surged from flutters to all-out butterflies.

Blake looked just as beautiful as this morning, or possibly even more so.  Those who didn’t know her might think she spent hours trying to look so perfect, but that wasn’t the case at all.  She didn’t have to try to be gorgeous.  She just…was.

Right now, however, her beauty was wrapped in worry, as her eyes met Yang’s and a small, caring smile slipped onto her lips.

“Hey…” she began, her voice soft and gentle.  “Feeling any better?”

‘Better’ couldn’t even begin to explain how Yang felt right now.  Ecstatic might be a better word if her thundering heart was any indication.  Or maybe it was just pure relief to see Blake again.

“Uh, yeah, a bit.”  When Blake motioned like she wanted to come in, Yang stepped aside and waved her through the doorway.  “Sorry I bailed earlier.”

“It’s fine.”  Waving the apology away, Blake walked into the kitchen and set several plastic bags on the island.  “I’m just glad you’re feeling better.  I was worried.”

The caring admission and sincerity in Blake’s warm amber eyes only made Yang feel worse.  If she was actually sick, the concern would make her feel like the luckiest person in the world.  Instead, she wished she could go back in time and fix her mistakes.

“Sorry…” she mumbled toward the floor.  “Maybe I’m coming down with something…”

“Like a cold?”

When Yang stuck her hands in her pockets and shrugged, Blake gently touched the back of her hand to Yang’s forehead.  After several thoughtful seconds, during which Yang stared at the light flecks of gold in gorgeous amber eyes, Blake hummed and dropped her hand.

“You don’t have a fever…”

“Probably nothing serious,” Yang said, hoping to alleviate Blake’s worries.  “Just a down day, I guess.”

“I have just the cure to that.”

With an adorable smile - one of the rare ones revealing just how tickled she was - Blake opened the bags she brought with her and started pulling out containers.

“My mom sends her love - and way too much cake,” she explained, still smiling as she held up a container holding several giant pieces of birthday cake.  “But if you’re not up for cake, I stopped by Tavo’s and picked up that soup you love.”

“You didn’t have to do that…” Yang said while Blake set the second carryout container on the island.

“I know, but you didn’t look so great when you left, so I wanted to bring you something special.”

Blake’s presence alone was special enough.  Going out of her way to get Yang’s favorite soup and come check on her was above and beyond what a good friend would do.  That was probably why, when she moved closer, Yang’s heart skipped a beat.

In moments like these, with gratitude and affection swirling in the air, getting lost in Blake’s eyes became an all-encompassing yet dangerous affair.  The lingering emotions from earlier only added to Yang’s desire to move closer and pull Blake into her.  She averted her gaze instead and blew a soft breath through her lips while clamping a lid on that longing.

“If I’m sick, you probably don’t want to be so close…” she muttered to the countertop but looked up when Blake laughed.

“Yang, we spent all morning together.  If you’re sick, I’ve probably already caught it.”

Somehow, Yang doubted Blake would ever catch what forced her away from the party.  Blake was too confident to get jealous, especially over some simple flirting.  And if, by some chance, she did get jealous, she was too calm and collected to react the way Yang had.

“In that case, sounds like you’ll be needing some of this, too.”

When Yang pointed at the soup, hoping to divert the conversation, Blake smiled.

“Only if you’ll share.  I know how you are about this stuff.”

“It’s liquid gold, Blake,” Yang said, but Blake scrunched her nose.  “Alright, apparently you need to try it again.”

While Blake chuckled and opened the container, Yang grabbed two spoons from the silverware drawer and passed one to her.

“You first,” Yang said before Blake even offered, and watched Blake dip her spoon into the still-steaming soup before lifting it to her lips, gently blowing, and sticking it into her mouth.

“It’s amazing, right?” Yang asked, dropping her own spoon into the container and taking her first sip.  To her, it was the best soup on the planet.  Holding such a lofty opinion was probably why she scoffed when Blake shrugged.  “You must not be eating it right.”

“How are you supposed to eat it?” Blake asked while taking another small spoonful.

“You have to get all the things at once,” Yang explained, doing just that before sticking the spoon in her mouth and humming.

“It’s like lava right now,” Blake pointed out, an apt description considering the amount of steam rising off the surface.  Yang just happened to have a high enough heat tolerance - or pain tolerance - to handle it.

“Here, let me.”

Before Blake took another baby spoonful, Yang waved her hand aside and scooped out an actual spoonful heaping with the delicious, piping-hot vegetables and ground beef.  Lightly blowing on it, she waited until it was cool enough before offering it to Blake.

“Alright, try now.”

Amused by the insistence, Blake held Yang’s gaze while leaning in and taking Yang’s spoon in her mouth.  Yang’s heart inexplicably raced at the simple action, but Blake pulled away seconds later and thoughtfully chewed before swallowing.

“Ok, it’s pretty good that way.”

“You mean with all the stuff or with me feeding you?” Yang asked, only for her heart to get more involved when a sly smile lifted Blake’s lips.

“Both.”

“Both?” Yang repeated.  When Blake doubled down with a nod, Yang playfully sighed and pulled the container closer.  “Guess I’ll just have to keep feeding you then…” she mumbled, taking another bite herself before creating another perfect spoonful for Blake.  It didn’t take long to fall into an easy rhythm - one bite for her, one for Blake.  Just the two of them, one spoon, and some delicious soup.

“You missed out,” Blake said after a few moments of comfortable silence had passed.

“Oh really?” Yang asked, not feeling like she’d missed out in the slightest as she held out the spoon for Blake.  “What’d I miss?”

“Well, right after we sang happy birthday and were passing out the cake, Eve and Stella lost it.”

Jarred back to the events from earlier - the party and everything that came with it - Yang froze with the spoon halfway to her mouth.  Before Blake noticed, however, Yang chuckled, shook her head, and dropped the spoon into the container.

“No way.”

“Yes way.”  From the sparkle in Blake’s eyes, she found great amusement in the matter.  “Started yelling at each other for ruining the neighborhood.  Eve called Stella a ‘locust feasting on our fine shrubs,’ so Stella called her a ‘dumb-hatted imposter.’”

The top-notch insults, and the picture of those two prim-and-proper ladies duking it out, had Yang laughing in no time.

“That’s awesome.  What’d your parents do?”

“They just watched for a bit, let it become a big scene, then my mom told them to take their petty squabbles elsewhere.  I heard them out front threatening to call the cops on each other for taking up too much space on the sidewalk.”

Yang laughed even harder at that.  Especially because, in order to hear the two women arguing on the sidewalk, Blake must have made a special effort to stay within eavesdropping distance.

“I knew you loved drama,” Yang concluded, beaming at what she would accept as confirmation.

“It can be fun.”  Adding a small shrug, Blake met Yang’s gaze and offered a small smile.  “I just wanted to see you laugh though.  It’s not like you to be down.”

In two sentences, Yang’s guilt returned and her heart somersaulted in her chest.  It wasn’t like her to be down, especially when Blake was around, making it even worse that she let her emotions get the best of her.  Of course the strange behavior was noticed since Blake was a maven when it came to picking up hidden feelings.

“I’m sorry…” Yang said again, wondering if she could ever apologize enough.  “But I feel better now.  This helps.”  She tapped the side of the soup container before returning Blake’s gaze.  “You help even more.”

Heart beating loudly, Yang didn’t shy away from Blake’s eyes until the look became too powerful.  Blake could probably read her like a book by now, but sometimes she worried about what Blake’s interpretation was.

“My parents were happy to see you,” Blake eventually said, seamlessly leading them out of that moment.  “They want to have dinner with us in Vale sometime - but only if you want to.  I can always go alone.”

“Are you kidding?” Although appreciative of Blake’s attempt not to pressure her into plans, Yang laughed and shook her head.  “I’d love to.  Your parents are a blast.”

“I’m glad one of us thinks that,” Blake said, finally relaxing into a smile.  “Mom said ‘let Yang pick, she knows the best places.’”

“I’m sure I can think of something,” Yang agreed, her mind already searching for options.  Anything that served fish, for Blake, offered a lively-bordering-on-chaotic atmosphere, for Blake’s mom, and was roomy enough for Blake’s dad.

“You don’t have to decide now.”  Before Yang went too far down that rabbit hole, Blake wisely interrupted.  “She said she’ll text you about shopping though.”

“Awesome.”

Between shopping with Blake’s mom and dinner with all of the Belladonnas, Yang had every reason to smile right now.  Blake, however, playfully narrowed her eyes.

“How come you have more plans with my mom than me?”

“Because she’s the only one inviting me out,” Yang teased.

“I just invited you to a party today,” Blake protested, but blew an adorable puff of air through her lips when Yang shrugged.  “Ok, fine,” she added.  “You’ll just have to make it up to me.”

“That sounds like something I can do.”

While Blake seemed mollified by the response, Yang’s smile faded when she remembered the other, more legitimate failing she had to make up to Blake for.

“How’d everything else go?” she ventured, gesturing at the door when Blake gave her a curious look.  “Today.  After I left.”

“Oh.”  While Yang shuffled her feet and ran a hand through her hair, Blake just shrugged.  “It was fine.  Ate some cake, helped clean up, then left early so I could check on you.”

The abbreviated answer left Yang blissfully yet painfully in the dark.  Part of her knew that she should leave it at that, but another part of her - the part controlling her actions at the moment - had to know more details.

“How was it...seeing Sun again?”

“Nice, I guess?”  Yang’s heart clenched at the response, but Blake shook her head and waved a hand as if Sun’s presence had been no big deal.  “It was nice to see he’s doing well, and basically the same as always.”

“That’s...good.”  Yang’s response came out more strained than she would have liked, so she cleared her throat and tried again.  “I, uh, thought you two were getting dinner?”

“He wanted to, but I didn’t feel up for it.”

“Sorry...my fault?”

“Not really.”  Before Yang felt even guiltier, Blake shook her head.  “You met him - he’s...high energy.  I didn’t want to deal with that on top of everything else today.  Plus, he’s visiting Vale in a few months - I promised to get dinner with him then.”

Just like that, the sour feeling in Yang’s stomach returned, but she attempted what she hoped was an impassive expression and a half-hearted, “Ah.”

“You’ll come with me, right?”

The question caught Yang by surprise, and she might have thought it was a joke were it not for the sincerity in Blake’s eyes.

“Don’t you want to catch up with him?”

“Sure,” Blake replied, though she shrugged again.  “That doesn’t mean you can’t come, too.  Besides, I think you two will get along.”

Yang scrunched up her nose at the thought, which Blake noticed but didn’t comment on.  Instead, she stepped closer and lightly tapped Yang’s arm.

“He might have some embarrassing stories about me.”

Faced with that incentive and Blake’s hopeful smile, Yang couldn’t possibly say no.  Even if the idea of sitting through an entire meal with Sun flirting up a storm made her a little queasy, she would show up if Blake wanted her there.

“Ok, count me in.”  Blake’s smile made that feel like the right answer, but Yang glanced at how close their hands were before taking a deep breath and asking what she really did yet also didn’t want to know.  “If we’re all going out though, you should probably let me know if you’re interested in him.  That way I can split or something if you...you know…”

The longer Yang spoke, the deeper Blake’s frown grew.

“Do you actually think I want to date him?” she eventually asked, that frown still in place.

“He doesn’t seem like your type...” Yang admitted.

“And he’s just a friend.”  The answer was firm, but Blake quickly lost the stern expression and reached for Yang’s hand.  “I appreciate the support,” she added in a softer tone.  “But how about supporting me with someone I actually want to be with?”

The tender touch was even more reassuring than the adamant response.  Now, Yang felt like an idiot, but a happy one.  Blake’s feelings could always change in the future, but if she said that she wasn’t interested, then she wasn’t interested.

“Ok,” Yang agreed with a nod and much easier smile.  “I can do that.”

“Good.”

“But...who do you want to be with?”  When Blake just stared at her, Yang elaborated.  “How will I know?  Will you tell me?”

“Tell you?” Blake repeated before shaking her head.  “That’s right...you can’t tell when I like someone...”

“You’re like a closed book!” Yang protested, but Blake sighed.

“You should still be able to tell.  Like when I’m spending a lot of time with them, putting off work and writing to be around them, waiting and hoping to talk to them...”

“Basically, when we hardly see each other anymore,” Yang mumbled, pulling her hand from Blake’s and running it through her hair.  It hadn’t even happened yet, yet her heart was already suffering.  And, as much as she tried to hide that feeling, Blake paused and gave her a searching look.

“Are you sure you’re feeling ok?”

“Yeah, I’m just…”  She wasn’t ok, she was jealous and scared about the future.  “I think I’ll just curl up on the couch or something...” she concluded with a nod to the living room.

“Want company?  I can pick out another award-worthy movie.”

Blake smiled with the offer, which sounded wonderful, but Yang glanced at the clock and suddenly wished she could go back in time.

“Oh, uh…”

That was all she got out before the doorbell rang, and she cringed when Blake glanced that way.

“Expecting someone?” she joked, but her smile fell the moment she saw Yang’s regretful expression.

“Yeah, I might’ve...invited someone over...”

“You...really?”

“I thought it’d be a...distraction or something.”

It ended up being a horrible idea that she wished she could undo.  Unfortunately, she could do nothing about it now.  Just like she could do nothing about the suspicion flickering through Blake’s eyes before a scoff slipped through her lips.

“Should I be insulted or grateful that you don’t want to get me sick but want to spread your cold to someone else?”

Heart racing now, Yang shook her head but didn’t know what to say.

“Yang, what’s going on?”  Uncrossing her arms, Blake moved closer.  “Why are you acting so weird?  You were fine this morning, but now you’re…”

Reaching a lack of words, Blake just waved toward her.  But Yang didn’t know how to explain the thoughts rushing through her head.  She wished she could rewind the past few hours and redo everything.  Or go back in time and tell herself to chill out about Sun, that she was overthinking things and should stop worrying so much about messing up and ending up alone.

“I’m sorry,” she said when she couldn’t think of a way to express those thoughts, but Blake stepped closer.

“What are you sorry for?”

Again, Yang didn’t know.  All she knew was that she felt miserable right now.

“Yang, just talk to me, please.”  When the doorbell rang again, Blake glanced that way before giving Yang a more urgent, almost pleading look.  “You know you can tell me anything.  If you’re upset about something, you just need to say so.”

Could she though?  Could she admit that she hated watching Sun flirt with Blake so much that she royally flipped out?  Could she say that without making Blake upset?  Because that seemed like something that would make someone upset, and she didn’t want to make Blake even more upset than she already had.

“It’s...hard to explain,” she offered instead, but Blake nodded for her to try.  “I just -” she began, only to immediately lose her nerve.  “It’s nothing,” she muttered instead, and Blake stared at her for what felt like an eternity before walking over to the door and opening it.

“Oh, hey Blake.”

“Mel?”

Blake shot Yang a dismayed and hurt expression before regaining her composure.  A polite smile soon followed, and she stood out of the way while motioning Mel inside.

“Didn’t realize I’d be interrupting,” Mel said while sending Yang a look, but Blake shook her head.

“Not interrupting.  I was just leaving.”

While Blake returned to the kitchen and grabbed her bag, she refused to meet Yang’s eyes.  “Blake -” Yang tried, only for Blake to turn away and flash one last smile to the designer-clad brunette standing in the living room.

“I hope you two have fun.”

Without another word, or even a glance at Yang, Blake left the apartment and closed the door behind her.  Her abrupt exit left Yang with a giant hole in her chest, struggling to comprehend what just happened or how she felt about it other than incredibly guilty.

“You’re still doing that thing?”

The question drew her gaze, and Mel gestured between her and the door.

“What thing?”

“Pretending you’re not in love with each other.”

Suddenly, Yang remembered all of the reasons why they stopped talking - this topic being one of them.

“It’s not like that,” she reiterated, only to sigh when Mel rolled her eyes.  Not in the mood to discuss Blake or anything related to Blake right now, Yang shook her head and started over with a forced smile.  “I mean, hey Mel.  Long time no see.  Wanna grab dinner and catch up?”

“Sure, sounds fun.”

As easy-going as ever, Mel shrugged and headed toward the door.  Yang, meanwhile, searched for her keys and wallet so that they could leave.  The sooner they got this over with, the sooner she could come home and regret everything that happened today.

Comments

Amara Wolfe

Talk about being in denial.