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Welcome back to our first 3 chapter commentary!  At least, I’m pretty sure this is the first commentary covering 3 chapters…but I honestly don’t remember anymore.  The epilogue is usually so self-explanatory that it doesn’t require a lot of diving into, you know?  “Happily ever after - we’ll even take a sneak peek for a whole chapter!”

Imagine if I didn’t write epilogues…that would be unsatisfying for you and me.  What’s the point in putting the characters through a whole story of trials and tribulations if we never get to see the payoff for more than a fraction of a chapter?  (I see the payoff in my imagination, but that’s not the same as putting it down on paper - er, screen.)

Fear not though!  Every story deserves a happy ending, and that happy ending deserves to come in the form of an epilogue.  Before we get to that though…a writing update.

I jumped back into Diva a couple of weeks ago.  You might’ve seen on Twitter that I put up a poll asking what I should work on, and people chose Diva over letting me take a break.  (White Rose fans sometimes…they’re rabid.)  Don’t worry though - I would’ve taken a break if I really needed it.  I’ll need one soon probably, but I’m fine for now!

If you don’t remember, I worked on Diva pretty hard in early 2022, then burnt out in a big way.  Apparently, I’d finished the first draft of all but the last 6 chapters before unceremoniously dropping it into the bowels of my Google Docs.  In order to get back into it, I had to reread the whole thing - no big deal, it was only 120k words and I’m a SLOW reader.  Doesn't help when I start proofreading while I read…

So it took me almost an entire week to read it.  (Yeah…I’m that slow.)  Even worse, I got really into the story (Ruby and Weiss are cute!) and then, just when things were getting really good, I slammed face first into a wall of unfinished chapters.  It was disappointing, to say the least.  Usually when I’ve left a story for so long, it’s because I’ve finished it and am returning to edit.  Not this time…

I’ve wrapped up two more chapters since then, so only four to go.  I’m really excited to finish that story so that I can work on something new…back to the cops and robbers AU, I think.  Or maybe that elusive break?  The next Twitter poll will be: “What should I do now?  Take a break, take a break, or take a break?”  That’ll beat ‘em!

Diva will end up around 150k words, I think (140k as of today).  I’m sure that’s what I estimated when I started it.  That would make it around the same length as Waiting (on You), actually.  Basically…both of them are way too long.  Oh well…I like taking my time rather than rushing emotions…

But with that story nearly done, let’s get into the actual commentary!

Also, let’s launch our “Ruby for MVP” campaign now.  I almost spilled the beans last time by mentioning that she hasn’t been a huge part of the story, but that she’ll swoop in and steal MVP at the last minute.  Because that’s exactly what she did!  She came out of her Weiss-induced daze and realized, “Wait a second…why is Yang still oblivious?”

What I really appreciate about the conversation Ruby and Yang have in Chapter 19 is that Ruby doesn’t take Yang’s side.  She has taken Yang’s side for years now, but Blake has also become like a sister figure to her.  She’s not just going to sit back and watch Yang do something incredibly stupid like pretend that she isn’t utterly in love with Blake.

The best line of the entire story has to be:

“Blake’s already in love with you, you idiot.”

We’ve all been thinking it for 20 chapters now, and Ruby gets to say it right to Yang’s face.

I went through some of the ao3 comments on this story recently, and one thing I found funny was how many people expected Weiss to say something to Blake and Yang like, “How long have you been dating?”  I thought about that, too!  And I actually provided an explanation in this chapter:

“I actually thought you two were married,” Weiss admitted, adding to Yang’s dismay.  “Then I noticed neither of you had rings, and that you liked to hit on other women...but only when she wasn’t around.  So I figured...exes or on the cusp of dating.”
“You noticed that while standing in line??”

Also, I think it’s hilarious to imagine Weiss nonchalantly observing Yang, Blake, and Ruby (mostly Ruby) during her coffee runs.  She’s trying to figure out as much information about Ruby as possible, and obviously one of the most important things she wants to know is if Ruby’s dating either Yang or Blake.  That means that Blake and Yang both garnered a fair amount of interest and observation.

Blake’s quickly written off because she’s too in love with Yang to be dating Ruby.  Yang is a little trickier to figure out because she and Ruby are so familiar with each other, but Weiss determines that it’s a different type of relationship - like big sister/little sister type of different.  Meanwhile, the three of them are utterly oblivious to Weiss’ interest.

Have you ever been surprised when someone you don’t know comments on something they’ve observed you doing?  And you’re like…what?  You were actually paying attention to me??

That happened to me recently when passing by a random neighbor while out walking Violet.  I’d never spoken to him before, or even noticed him, but he stopped and said, “You do such a great job taking her on walks.  I see you out here every single day with her.”

I guess my point is that it’s easy to feel anonymous, but sometimes people are observant or interested enough to notice.  Like Weiss, in this instance.

When I thought about what might finally convince Yang to take a leap of faith and put her heart on the line, I wanted to make sure that it didn’t come off as a selfish reason.  I seriously considered going with the jealousy approach - where Blake meets someone else who makes Yang so jealous that she spills the beans.  That would have been dramatic and angsty, but where would it leave them when the initial rush of jealousy runs off?  Would Yang’s fears return?

In the end, Yang finds courage in her selflessness.  When Ruby points out that Blake’s been hiding her feelings because Yang isn’t ready, Yang realizes that her feelings have been allowed to trump Blake’s for her own comfort.  As we’ve seen throughout the entire story, the one thing that gets Yang to move mountains is trying to be a good friend/partner/whatever you want to call it for Blake.

Her lightbulb moment is realizing that she’s been dragging Blake through hell for a while, and she’s determined to make it right as fast as possible.

I’ll admit that I seriously considered using Ruby’s idea of setting Blake up on a blind date, which I then left in the story and had Yang shoot down for being terrible (at my own expense!).  My original thought for the ending was that Weiss would mention that she knew someone who Blake might like.  Then we have the whole jealousy scene, and Blake’s asking Yang, “You really think I should go out with this stranger?”  And what can Yang say?  “No, date me instead”?

So Yang says that Blake should go for it, which is the straw that broke Blake’s incredibly patient back (and her poor tired heart).  She agrees to the blind date then leaves the coffeeshop all depressed, then Yang is so miserable about it that Ruby and/or Weiss uncover/point out Yang’s feelings.

At that point, they would decide to cancel the date, but then someone (Ruby) has the genius idea to have Yang show up instead.  In that case, Yang would call Blake from the stairwell before Blake’s blind date, and Blake says that she feels like canceling (because she’s still going to give Yang another shot after all).  Then Yang shows up instead and *gasp* happily ever after.

Except…no??  That’s not happy at all??

I have no problem with some drama.  I love drama!  I think I should add more drama to some stories.  But…that situation plays heavily with their emotions, and I don’t feel like they’re equipped to handle those feelings in a positive way at this point in the story.  Yang is so hung up on Blake right now that she’d probably fall apart at the seams if Blake agreed to go on a date with someone else.  And Blake has to feel like they’re this close - Yang’s literally kissing her all the time - that Yang telling her it’s fine to date someone else would be a knife in the heart.  It would erase all of the progress they’d made so far.

So that idea went onto the scrap heap.  And it’s hard, you know, to get rid of ideas.  I like to think I have good ideas, so erasing them is never fun.  Especially if you actually wrote out some of the scenes.  Then it feels like wasted effort on top of wasted ideas.

But it’s important to delete things if that’s what feels right for the story!  I’ve started to become a little more ruthless in that respect.  Sometimes I’ll have written some good (in my opinion) inner dialogue or descriptions of the character’s emotions, but then I realize that it breaks up the flow of the chapter or just doesn’t quite fit.  I’ll try to move it somewhere else, obviously.  But if there’s no logical place for it, it’s gone.

When I started writing, I focused so hard on writing more words.  A 1000 word oneshot was such a struggle…then I figured out how to be wordy and my stories exploded in size.  Unfortunately, those weren’t all good words - they were just words for the sake of words.  Now, I’m trying to reign it back in.  I need more than 1000 words, but being verbose for the sake of wordcount alone isn’t the goal anymore.  I want a good story whether it’s 30k or 300k words.  150k seems to be my happy medium though.

Anyway…we move on to the confession, which doesn’t include any extra angst or drama.  It’s just…sweet.  Much like Yang.  She picks up flowers, she gets Blake’s favorite ice cream (licorice, yuck!), and she pours her heart out.

Not without one last pep talk from Ruby, of course, who decided that camping outside Blake’s building was the best way to support Yang.  (And decided that she and Weiss should have some fun while they waited - notice that Yang says the chauffeur was standing outside the car.)

I’m really happy with how the confession turned out.  I kept the stairwell moment, as you saw, but used it as the chance for Yang to get a pep talk from her biggest supporter.  As if we didn’t already know that they were perfect together, Yang practically read Blake’s mind by picking up ice cream.  There’s a small moment of almost angst when Blake thinks that Yang came over to reject her once and for all (Can you imagine?  There would be riots in the streets.) but Yang quickly nips that worry in the bud.  And we get our happily ever after!

I’m sure Blake immediately put that ice cream into the freezer and said, “We’ll have some after.”  To which Yang says, “‘After?’”

She might have confessed her feelings, but someone still needs to buy her a clue.

No worries though - she has Blake for that now.  Blake’s not done being the subtle, ever-patient guide when it comes to Yang being a doo-doo head.

It’s weird to imagine how their relationship might start since they’ve basically been dating for years by now.  Would things even change much?  The physical aspect would be new, obviously, but other than that…it’s probably pretty much the same or even more lovey-dovey than before.

I guess we get to see how they are together in the epilogue!  Duh, Miko.  That’s what the epilogue is for.  What did I just write at the beginning of this commentary?

They return to Tai’s house for the epilogue since Yang’s the main POV for the story, but going to the Belladonna’s would have been incredible fun.  It would have been too much fun, actually, which is why I went with the more mellow of the two.  That, and this was Yang’s story, so it’s great to have her return home and see how her dad reacts to her finally nabbing a serious girlfriend.

I wonder how Tai felt about Yang’s womanizing ways…on the one hand, he was probably impressed at first.  Ruby tells him all about the random girls like, “Oh, she works at a museum” or “She knows how to sail a boat!”  So, part of him is a little proud.  As it continues, however, he starts to worry a bit.  Then a bit more.  Then he’s like, “Ok, she’s charming, but when will she settle down with someone??”

Then Yang brings Blake home.

“Surprise, Dad!  Meet my new BFF!”

Internally, Tai probably thought this was it.  The moment he’d been hoping for.  Just a few more months and…ok, just a few more years and…ok when is Yang going to wake up and realize that the perfect girl is sitting right there waiting for her??

I love his comment that Blake ‘wasn’t giving up without a fight.’  I bet he was silently cheering for Blake this entire time, and silently praying that Yang wouldn't do something so stupid that Blake finally gave up.  Like watching a heavyweight matchup with feelings instead of punches.

I just had a thought about if this situation happened and Summer was still alive.  Obviously, the entire point of how this situation happened is because Summer died, but let’s pretend that she’s still around and Yang’s still oblivious.  I bet Tai and Summer would have the best time debating over the ‘will they/won’t they’ circumstances.  They’d probably throw down a wager or two, like “I bet they’re holding hands when they get here” or “Ten bucks that Yang will kiss Blake’s cheek at least three times.”

Those are sucker’s bets.

Summer would meddle though, so no way would it have lasted this long.  Similar to Kali, she would say things like, “This is my daughter-in-law - oops, I mean my daughter’s best friend.”  So Yang and Blake would start dating in a fraction of the time in this universe.

Another reason why I used Tai’s house over the Belladonna’s was to bring Weiss and Ruby!  It would be a little harder to explain Weiss and Ruby’s presence at Blake’s house.  Not impossible, but harder.  Kali would probably adore Ruby’s energy and have an absolute blast messing with Weiss.  Because Kali’s relatively well off too, so she knows how to ruffle some hoity-toity feathers (See: the HOA co-presidents).

It’s much easier to explain Weiss and Ruby being at Tai’s house, and even cuter to make it Ruby’s first time bringing home her official, long-term, super serious girlfriend.  Weiss and Ruby, as we saw throughout the story, offer a juxtaposition to show how far along Yang and Blake already are.  Tai already knows Blake, already loves her, and is ready to welcome her to the family.

Kali is equally ready to welcome Yang to the family, though it sounds like Blake basically dumped Yang into Kali’s lap.  I laugh just imagining the conversation when Kali finds out that they’re finally dating:

“Oh, sorry to wake you, honey.”
“It’s fine.  I’m up now.”
“What’re you up to today?  How’s Yang doing?”
“Why don’t you ask her yourself?”
Cue Yang sputtering for a bit.
“U-uh, hi Mrs. Belladonna.  How’re you?  I hope you’re good, right?”
“...Yang?  I thought Blake just woke up.”
“Right.  We did - she!  She did.  Just woke up.”

That was all Kali needed to understand what happened, so you can bet she toyed with Yang like a cat with a mouse.  “Did you two have a late night?”  “What’re your plans for today?”  “Do you usually share a bed or was this a special occasion?”

I love Kali.  Either she’s teasing Yang or she’s teasing Blake or she’s teasing Ghira - those are the three ways I write her.  Although…now I’m imagining her as the protective mother and that’s not a bad thing either.

Other than Blake and Yang becoming a happy couple, there is another big change in Yang’s outlook on the world.  Some character growth, one might say!  We see it at the end of the epilogue when she asks Tai if they could talk about Summer sometime.

Our baby is all grown up!  From keeping a lid on memories of her mom to recognizing that she isn’t the only one hurting from that loss.  And she has learned that it’s actually good to talk about it rather than bottling it up inside.  That’s one thing that Blake has helped her with by always being willing and open to hearing Yang bring up those memories, even if they’re sad, and that’s what Yang can help Tai with going forward.

To put it simply, the next time they get together to celebrate Summer’s birthday, there will be a lot more stories flying around the table.

You probably noticed, but the story ended with a major hint that Yang’s already thinking about proposing to Blake.  I guess that kind of answers my question about where they are in their official relationship…they’ll be engaged and married in no time.  I found it funny when Yang suggests that Blake wouldn't be waiting on her to be ready to take that next step, as if she would be ready to get married first.

Maybe she will be…but maybe Blake is already ready, but she’s just happy to take things slow and enjoy the newness while it lasts.  She definitely won’t be saying no whenever Yang gets around to asking.  What do you think…they’ll be engaged within a year?  Married within two years?  That seems like a decent timeline to me.

What makes me really happy about finishing a story is leaving the characters in a better place than we found them in.  I think that’s part of the reason why I write longer stories since the characters can grow more than they can over the course of a oneshot (I don’t even consider character growth when writing a oneshot…).

Yang goes from being afraid of commitment, afraid of being hurt, and downright delusional to learning how to be vulnerable, communicating her feelings, and putting her trust in someone who’s earned it time and time again.  That type of growth makes my heart sing.

This makes me wonder…have I written a story where Ruby has a big character growth arc?  Let’s see…well, I can’t even think of a long story where she’s one of the POVs.  Conflict of Interest?  She didn’t really have a character flaw in that one.  What Defines Us?  Again…I don’t think she had a character flaw?  She was just mid-recovery.

I can’t even think of what type of character flaw I would give her.  Too sweet?  Too energetic?  Too willing to take all of the stress upon herself while bottling up her traumas?

Maybe this is why I gravitate to Weiss.  Weiss is ready to take on some character flaws.  Pompous?  Out of touch with normal people?  Haughty?  Selfish?  Downright evil?  She can do it all.  A Swiss Army knife of imperfection.

And we’ll get to see some of that imperfection very soon!  I’m pretty sure she has the best arc in Queens of Remnant, which shouldn’t come as a surprise considering my history with all four of the characters (darn you ice queen!).  But the other three arcs are good too, I think!  I hope.

I always get a little nervous before starting a new story.  It’s like…I spent so much time on this, but will other people like it?  Will they even care?  Once the first chapter goes up, I’ll normally settle into the routine.  But for now…I have a few nervous jitters.

It makes me especially nervous to think that the next time I’m writing a commentary, the first two chapters will be out in the wild AND the new RWBY season will have started.  Crazy times we live in…

Until those crazy times arrive,

Miko

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