The Queens of Remnant - Commentary - Ch. 11-12 (Patreon)
Content
Two more weeks have fallen by the wayside, and two more chapters have gone with them.
Can you believe it’s already May? I can’t. I’m not ready for summer…mostly because people keep saying that it’s supposed to get really hot this summer. Me and excessive heat don’t mesh, mostly because I get just as stir crazy as my dogs when I have to stay inside for too long. But that’s a problem for the (hopefully distant) future. For now, we still have the beginning/middle of spring to enjoy!
My life has gotten a little stressful and complicated recently, but I’m trying to stay positive and focus on what I can control. Which, unfortunately, isn’t much in these particular circumstances, but I can at least try not to stress out about them too much. It has been difficult to focus on a single story though…mostly because my mind is kind of all over the place with life and work and everything.
I signed up for Bumbleby Big Bang though! If you haven’t heard of it before, it’s a community event where writers and artists pair up to create a story and accompanying piece of art. I’ve never done it before, but it sounded fun so I decided…what the heck?
I pretty much immediately regretted it (lol) because it’s been a long time since I’ve had to write something on someone else’s schedule, and I don’t know that I’ve ever written something that I’ve had to worry about someone choosing. Because that’s part of BBB - the artists choose who they’ll work with based on nothing more than a small summary of the stories.
It feels like so much pressure! But it shouldn’t be, right? Well, I ended up starting and abandoning two ideas so far, and who knows what will happen to this third one. I’m not allowed to tell anyone about it, but it’s just supposed to be a minimum of 15,000 words, which is such an awkward number for me. My oneshots are usually about 10,000 words, so…it’s a little larger than a oneshot, but much shorter than what I typically write. A oneshot+, basically!
I’m trying really hard not to go too much over 15k words…which we all know is a fairly substantial challenge for me. But I like challenges! So, this will just be something where I try really hard to keep my idea short and sweet.
Speaking of Bumbleby…our most recent two chapters of Queens of Remnant were Blake and Yang’s first real interactions, conversations, and thoughts about each other. Yang’s chapters always make me so sad, but let’s talk about Blake’s first.
Blake is like a fish out of water now that she’s in Vale. Not only is she out of her element, but she’s surrounded by three literal queens. Can you imagine that? Like…she is kind of a criminal (or had criminal intent), and now she’s having dinner with the most powerful figures in their region of the world.
I wanted to point out one little thought of Blake’s that you might’ve noticed but I wanted to expand on. When thinking about the queens, she mentions that they’re ‘descendants of the original sparks.’ This was my way of explaining why Weiss, Yang, and Ruby are substantially more powerful than everyone else. It’s like…there were the ‘original sparks’ that were the strongest, but then those sparks splintered and diluted over time. But the people who are closest related to that original bloodline have the least diluted power and are, therefore, the most powerful - and still in charge of the kingdoms.
Which now makes me wonder…was there one original person who had all of the elemental powers? Or a group of people who each had one element, similar to how it is now? How did they get those sparks to begin with? Was it by chance? Were the powers granted by some even more powerful being?
These are the types of questions I clearly didn’t delve into too much. It’s good to have some of those details so that you can keep things consistent, but I didn’t try to figure out the entire history of their world. We’re not here for a Remnant history lesson! What I thought was important about this setup is how it relates to Yang and Ruby.
For Yang and Ruby to be about equal in power (even though they have different elements), they must be around the same distance from that original spark. Which meansss…that Tai was the stronger link, aka the royal bloodline that Raven/Summer married into. I reinforced this with Ruby’s very vague story in Chapter 12 about how their mom and dad met (since Ruby was the one telling the story and said ‘mom and dad,’ we should assume she meant Summer).
The only ‘details’ we get about Tai and Summer’s first meeting is that it’s a great story and Summer said, “Who do you think you are, a prince?” I can just imagine Summer’s sassy self saying something like that while Tai is like, “Wait, but I am. Why isn’t she instantly falling for my princely charm?”
I’m wondering how the genetics of sparks work if Yang got fire and Ruby got wind…are there dominant and recessive sparks? If we think that Tai was fire - he seems like a fire type of guy - then fire must be recessive to wind and Summer was wind. Summer seems like a wind type of gal, too. What would that make Raven though? Also fire? I can’t decide what would fit her…she seems like a fiery personality, but also wind might suit her well.
Not me over here creating Mendel’s squares with imaginary elemental powers…
We’re not here for that though. We’re here to watch some girls fall in love! Right? I mean, that’s why I’m here…
Now that the initial meeting of Vale, Atlas, and the Badlands is over, we get to see the four of them navigate their fledgling friendships/relationships. They’re also trying to avoid stepping into any unexpected landmines and risk blowing up their very new truce.
I can’t decide who Yang’s more concerned about accidentally insulting though…Weiss or Blake? Obviously, Yang doesn’t want to upset Weiss and mess up a potential treaty with the entire kingdom of Atlas. But Yang and Weiss actually have more in common than Yang and Blake do. In that sense, Yang isn’t even sure where the landmines are with Blake, which is probably unnerving.
Which isn’t to say that she doesn’t step into some landmines with Weiss…she does bring up Weiss’ dad and Weiss’ spark in quick succession. Whoops.
I’m excited to get back to Weiss’ chapters so that we can hear her thoughts on everything that has happened over the past few chapters. Not that it isn’t fun trying to interpret her feelings from the little actions the other characters are picking up on! I think Blake, in particular, is pretty confused about Weiss’ lack of a queen-like aura.
You might have noticed, but Weiss over the past couple of chapters has done a pretty good job of basically piggy-backing off of what Ruby and Yang say/do. I like to think that she’s doing that thing where you go along with what other people are doing just so that you don’t stand out in a crowd. Like, she’s kind of inferring that Ruby and Yang know what they’re doing, so she’s better off sticking close to their decisions than wandering off on her own and doing something silly.
It doesn’t hurt that Ruby and Yang’s decisions probably sound pretty fair and logical compared to what she used to hear from her father. I think it’s important to remember that while she’s hesitant and uncertain about what she’s empowered to do, she’s actually very experienced in dealing with anger and irrational behavior. If she knows what’s irrational, she also knows what’s rational - and those are the solutions that she’s after.
Honestly, she just needs a one-week bootcamp with Yang and Ruby, then she’ll be good to go. Unfortunately, there’s no time for that! They need to wrap up that treaty and start rebuilding pronto. Blake, especially, will appreciate the urgency.
One thing I really like about this story is how each couple is composed of opposites - at least, at first glance. You have Ruby and Weiss, who are both queens but Ruby is self-assured and confident in her role while Weiss owns a kingdom but not an ounce of confidence. Then you have Yang and Blake, who are both pretty confident in their abilities but opposites in their backgrounds. They’re all facing different trials before they get where they need to go, and I love that.
In case you haven’t noticed, I also love making the characters smart in their own ways. It isn’t always ‘booksmart,’ but they’re at least very strong or capable in a certain area. Yang and Ruby both have great intuition and people skills in this story, which I love for them. Especially since they’re about to split up between Vale and Atlas…at least there will be one intuitive character in each kingdom.
Yang’s goodbye to Ruby made me so sad when I proofread it a few days ago. And we know, since we’ve read Ruby’s POV, that the goodbye probably killed her just as much as it killed Yang. But she managed to smile and seem upbeat about it. At least, she was upbeat enough that Yang didn’t pick up on what must be overwhelming sadness and worry about what might happen while they’re apart.
But, that sad moment aside, we finally got to meet Cecelia! I didn’t realize I buried her so far into the story…we had to wait until the quarter mark for her entrance? At least I name-dropped her enough for people to know that she’s going to be a player, right?
I strongly considered using Cinder in Cecelia’s place, but I had my reasons for using an OC instead (which I’ll explain at the end of the story rather than now). I hope you enjoyed her little scene with Yang as much as I did! She literally knocks out the guard, sneaks into the room, then whines about the war being over while making some creepy comments about blood.
Also, I’m sure you picked up on what Yang said about ‘the princess’ - ie Winter - eluding Cecelia for so long. This gives us a little hint about what Winter had been up to prior to the events of Chapter 1, and that she was apparently in more danger than she might’ve realized with Cecelia quasi-hunting her.
If you’ve seen Guardians of the Galaxy, I imagine what Cecelia does with her knives is somewhat similar to Yondu and his arrow. Only she has lots of knives. And doesn’t whistle.
If you’re imagining chess pieces on a board like I am, then you have Weiss and Ruby’s pieces moving back to Atlas while Cecelia and Blake’s pieces are now both in Vale with Yang. Two roguelike brunettes and only one blonde? That can’t end well…
I hope you also adore how much effort Yang is putting into making Blake feel comfortable. The change in clothes, sending Lola off to figure out if they can get better beds or foods or anything of the like, and making sure Blake knows where to find the library - aka the best room in the palace - seem like a pretty good start. In return, Blake offers…?
Well, Blake is kind of like a stray cat in this situation, and Yang’s slowly winning her trust through these little peace offerings. Once Blake has warmed up to Yang, and Vale in general, we’ll see a little more of what she offers in return.
It feels like we have so much left to go through and too few chapters. Honestly, this story probably could have been much longer, but I was trying to keep it to a reasonable length (300k words is reasonable, ha). I guess I often forget that the first four chapters were really like prologues, so we’ve only had eight chapters of the actual story so far. That makes me feel a little better.
Anyway, I think that’s about all I have to say for now. I’m excited to get back to Weiss and Ruby’s side of the story! Flip-flopping between White Rose and Bumbleby is pretty awesome but also leaves me with a weird feeling of wanting more every week. When we have the bee chapters, I want more bees. When we have the white rose chapters, I want more white rose. I wonder what the story would feel like if you read only Weiss and Ruby’s chapters…confusing, probably, unless you have the backstory of what’s going on with Yang and Blake.
Well, my original goal was to have equal parts Bumbleby and White Rose, so I suppose that I accomplished that goal. At what cost though? At what cost…
Until next time,
Miko