The Queens of Remnant - Commentary - Ch 15-16 (Patreon)
Content
Anddd we’re back again! Two eventful weeks and chapters are in the books as we approach the halfway point of both the year and this story.
Violet has been dealing with some health issues lately, so I feel like the weeks have both flown and crawled by. We still don’t know what’s going on with her! She’s been having stomach issues for a while, but they got a lot worse and now she’s on a bunch of meds to keep her stomach settled. The vet seems to think it’s either IBD or some sort of food intolerance (we did change her food several months ago…per the vet’s recommendation XD), but we’re waiting on some tests to see if they give us an answer. Hopefully, I’ll know early next week!
With all of that going on, I haven’t quite been in the writing mood. I have made more progress on my story for Bumbleby Big Bang though! I’m nearly finished, actually. At least, I think I’m nearly finished. Remember when I said I wanted to keep it close to 15k words? Well…it might be closer to 30k instead. Wasn’t I also saying how I wanted to write shorter stories that are around 30-40k? So…it’s not all bad. I just accomplished one goal while not accomplishing another.
I wish I could talk about the plot, but that’ll have to wait until it’s posted…in October. Yeesh.
Actually, when you think about it, that’s a shorter writing-to-posting timeframe than I typically have. That’s only a few months away, not a few years!
It feels like I haven’t written White Rose in so long though…I guess it’s been two months since I finished that mob boss AU (which I honestly wrote too fast and burnt myself out on). Maybe a short White Rose story is in order after I finish the Bumbleby Big Bang story…a nice little 5 chapter, 30k word story. Bite-size!
I’ve been keeping that word-count journal on Discord for years now, and it’s honestly so helpful sometimes. I can go back and see when I was working on a particular story, or how long I spent on it, or just pat myself on the back for writing consistently. The gaps also remind me of the life events that resulted in me not writing for a bit. It’s actually like a journal but without descriptions of what’s actually going on! Which is kind of perfect because I’ve never been one for journaling.
I should probably download all those messages in case Discord ever decides to flip out and erase them…
Anyway, that’s what’s been going on with me! Let’s talk about what’s been going on with Blake and Yang instead...
Imagine how messy these commentaries would get if I had written in an order where we flipped between the pairs each week. Like if it was Weiss, Blake, Ruby, Yang, or something, then every commentary would have to discuss both relationships and two very different circumstances. That would be a bit chaotic…
I paired the White Rose and Bumbleby chapters together so that we would get a better dose of each couple before switching. Especially as we get into this portion of the story, I felt like flipping back and forth between Vale and Atlas every other chapter would be way too much. Having two chapters for the couple let me move them further forward with some amount of continuity before setting them aside for a second and doing the same for the other couple. There’s less whiplash this way, I think.
I’m sure the White Rose fans are tapping their fingers just waiting for the Bumbleby chapters to get out of their way. But I happen to love the Bumbleby chapters, so they’re here to stay!
These particular chapters feature Blake slowly circling the drain that is possibly leading to figuring out Yang’s big secret. Also, there’s plenty of Blake praising going on, which she definitely needs.
If you’re familiar with imposter syndrome, that’s what Blake is dealing with at the moment. She doesn’t think she deserves to be in charge of the Resistance, or negotiating on behalf of the Badlands, or even just communicating with the queens. She’s just…Blake. Not special, rich, or powerful. Thankfully, she has Sun - and now Yang - to point out that she’s more than worthy of her position.
Chapter 15 had one of the moments I’ve been waiting for: Blake and Cecelia’s meeting!
To say that Blake is a little offput might be an understatement. She’s also a little oblivious in her, ‘why does this chick hate me for no reason?’ line of thinking. Come on, sweetie. Cecelia gets back from the battlefield and finds another beautiful brunette, who also happens to be something of a badass grizzled fighter, rubbing elbows with Yang?
Meet your competition, Blake. It’s you! Only a much different version of you. It’s the version that Adam would have wanted to see. (Adam and Cecelia working together would have been bloody chaos.)
Why is jealousy so much fun to write? There’s something so strangely cathartic about it. Like we want the characters to give in to the feeling and do something drastic. And it’s actually reasonable that they would do something drastic because jealousy does make us do crazy things sometimes.
Cecelia obviously handles jealousy by being vaguely threatening. Well, maybe ‘vaguely’ isn’t correct since she probably wouldn't have thought twice about actually cutting Blake had Blake not defended herself. She would’ve just shrugged and been like, ‘well she should’ve reacted faster if she didn’t want to get hurt.’
I think that if Blake hadn’t been so shocked by that interaction, she might have actually fought back. What do you think - would the two of them have gotten into a fight right there and had to be separated? Or would Blake be able to keep a level-head even if she knew that Cecelia was provoking her?
Eh…maybe Blake would have been wise enough not to get into that, but I just like the idea of them getting into a tussle. Crank up the drama!
I’ve mentioned before that I don’t feel like my stories have enough drama. I never turn the dial up to ten or eleven, probably because I struggle with anything that feels too dramatic given the characters’ personalities. And I usually don’t give the characters many flaws to pull upon in those dramatic situations.
If Blake was less of a calm, level-headed person, then I could have her lose it when Cecelia attacks her. But Blake is calm and level-headed. That’s part of why Yang is attracted to her, so I can’t just take that away for a fun showdown!
But if I added or emphasized some external influences…like she’s sleep deprived, or just got really bad news, or is irritated about something, or this was like the tenth time of Cecelia doing something like this, then she might snap. But this is only the first meeting, and I didn’t actually want them to throw down. I just wanted them to get to know each other a little better!
I thought it was interesting that Cecelia wanted to know Blake’s element. That’s something that someone would want to know if you’re thinking you might fight them one day. What if you expect them to have wind but it’s actually fire? They would catch you totally off guard! Even Blake admits that she wouldn't have revealed it if Cecelia hadn’t forced her to.
In this universe, I imagine some people flaunt their elements while others are far more subtle about it. Kind of like Pyrrha, who never really revealed her semblance, leaving others to figure it out for themselves. Those winders though…they can’t seem to stop themselves from flitting everywhere. But if you could get everywhere faster, why would you ever walk at a normal pace?
Case in point - Sun.
I was happy to bring Sun back into the fold, even if just for a short visit. He gets to tell us that he knew, or at least suspected, that Blake was going to do something stupid/dangerous when she left. I wonder if he thought that she died. I bet he was looking for her, actually. He probably gave her a bit of a head start so that she wouldn't suspect anything but then started looking for her in case she needed help.
He was probably searching in the Badlands though, having no idea that she was actually in Vale! He might have started to worry that she died, but I can also see him unwilling to believe that until finding proof.
He’s a good guy. I love using him as Blake’s BFF. And I especially loved having him tease Blake about being couped up in a castle with Yang. Someone has to get Blake’s mind moving in the right direction, otherwise she’d probably write off all of Yang’s flirting as mere banter.
I also like that Blake and Yang keep accidentally stepping on each other’s toes (in a metaphorical sense). It’s like they don’t quite know how to communicate yet, so they keep saying things to cover up other things and accidentally hurting each other’s feelings with those other things.
Blake does it in her chapter by implying that she has to stay in Vale to make sure Yang holds up her end of the bargain, and Yang does it in her chapter by implying that Blake’s just trying to make her feel guilty about the destruction in the Badlands to get her to help. I’m chalking both instances up to them learning to truly trust each other.
Especially Blake. Blake has some trust issues, which is why Yang is pretty much an open, honest book. Just like in canon - “You do what you say” is important to Blake, and Yang’s going to prove that she’s a woman of her word.
I’m a little sad that they didn’t take the firebeasts to the Badlands, but I also didn’t add the firebeasts until after the story was pretty much finished. I realized that, since this is another universe, they should have some different creatures roaming around! Horses are great, and obviously prevalent in all three regions, but I wanted to give Vale something special.
Enter firebeasts. Basically…mini dragons.
But I already wrote the chapter using horses. Plus, Blake probably doesn’t have experience riding a firebeast, and I wanted her to be the expert on this excursion to the Badlands. Easy fix, right? She just tells Yang, “No, we can’t take them because they’ll stand out too much.” Voila! Problem solved. We got to meet some firebeasts up close (they each charred firewood, how cute), but I didn’t have to change the chapter or explain how Blake knows how to ride them (or force Blake to learn on the spot).
Part of Chapter 15 also highlighted a difference in Blake and Yang’s life philosophies, which probably has a lot to do with their circumstances. Blake is very black or white - survive or die, kill or be killed. I think that makes sense considering what she’s been through. Yang, on the other hand, believes in the gray. Survive or die or something else - she just needs to figure out what the ‘something else’ is.
That’s the type of thinking you want in a leader! Someone who will try to find another way, no matter what. Someone who believes that there’s another way, no matter what.
Ironically, the one thing Yang has accepted as truth is that she’s going to die soon. If there wasn’t so much else going on, she probably wouldn't accept that. But, between a war and trying to restore the Badlands, she devotes her energy to the things that are ‘easier’ to fix. Great to see that she still has ‘self-sacrifice’ written in her DNA, huh?
I wanted her and Blake to go to the Badlands together for many reasons. One was exactly what Yang says: so that she could experience what it’s like now. Giving her the eye-opening experience makes her work with Blake take on a weightier meaning.
But I also wanted them to go together because Yang would do exactly what she did - take the blame for everything. And Blake, who had blamed Yang for everything, absolves her of full responsibility.
It’s one thing to blame someone for something, but it’s another to blame them when they’re also blaming themselves. Right? I know I’ve experienced this a few times before. As soon as a person starts heaping the blame on themselves, suddenly I’m finding the reasons why it’s not all their fault. It can still be partially their fault, but they don't get to take all of the blame.
Especially in a situation like Blake and Yang find themselves in, with Yang trying to take the blame for the actions of her army. Yes, technically she’s in charge of the army because she’s in charge of Vale. But between her and the individual choices made by individual soldiers are a whole lot of layers of command and other decisions being made.
As Blake somewhat gruffly says, “You don’t control everything, and you aren’t responsible for everything.”
If Blake needs to learn that she deserves to be a leader and that people actually look up to her, Yang needs to learn that she can’t carry the weight of the world alone. As great as it is that she’ll take responsibility, she needs to manage that in a healthy way - especially since her general health isn’t great!
The third reason why I wanted the two of them to go to the Badlands was so that Yang could witness something that makes her spark freak out. And then Blake gets to witness Yang’s spark freaking out, which I don’t think even Ruby has seen yet. In the palace, Yang can keep her stressors relatively in check, but throw her out in the wild and…well, her stress spiked, and her spark responded in kind.
I just realized an inconsistency…so I fixed it! Good thing I’m writing this commentary before the chapter posted.
Basically, when the woman died, Yang questioned whether or not it was mercy. But in her first chapter, she was the one trying to get someone to save the poor lad by granting the same form of mercy. So she already considers that to be a form of mercy, but there’s one thing in thinking it and another in witnessing it. It was also a little callous in this instance, which probably made it extra hard to watch.
I’ve always imagined Yang as an extremely affectionate person, so you can only imagine how much Blake’s hug meant at the end of this chapter. Like, the easiest way to get Yang to fall in love with you is probably just to hug her and mean it. That was a supportive hug, and she deserves about a thousand more of those.
I feel like the hug is a little out of character for Blake, but I thought it was really important for her to be the one to initiate it. I would rationalize it by saying that she can sense how distraught Yang is, and is reacting to the whole ‘strong yet fragile’ vibe Yang has going on. Especially after the whole spark incident, Blake probably caught a glimpse of just how much pain Yang is in and reacted to that.
In the original version of this chapter, Yang hugged Blake instead, and Blake stiffened up because she hadn’t expected it. Yang apologizes, and then Blake returns the hug.
I ended up switching it for two reasons. First, I feel (and Yang would agree!) that it’s very important not to make Blake do anything she doesn’t want to do. After Adam and everything, Blake needs to feel like she’s in control and is making her own decisions, especially when it comes to physical intimacy.
The second reason is that it’s so much more impactful to Yang that Blake hugs her and not the other way around. It goes from Yang seeking comfort to Blake offering comfort - two very different things. Even if Yang wanted it, she’s so caught up in being a strong, immovable queen that she can’t let herself even think about it. Blake, on the other hand, is in the position to see someone in need and offer what it is they need to feel better. She saw Yang and Ruby hug plenty of times in the short while they were all together - she must know that Yang’s a hugger.
It’s just a hug, but it’s so much more than a hug. It’s the beginning of them learning how to be together. What Blake needs, what Yang needs, what they will or won’t explicitly ask for but still want - all of those good things.
If you can’t tell, I’m excited for them to figure these things out. The road to romance is paved in little things like this! I’m also excited to check in with Weiss and Ruby next week…I wonder how things are going in snowy Atlas? We’ll see very soon.
In the meantime, I hope you’re having a great beginning to June! I’m going to try to get Violet all healthy again, and maybe finish the Bumbleby Big Bang story, then see where the wind blows me. I’ll be sure to update you in a couple of weeks!
Until next time,
Miko