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The new and improved version, hopefully. I don't know if everyone will agree, but I do think this one turned out better than the previous version. 

Somewhere in here, 1000 extra words got added. A little extra stuffing for everyone to chew on.

Now, to be fair, most of the second half is entirely unchanged. Most. There were some parts added or expanded upon in order to straighten it out a little, but far and away, most of the new stuff was put into the first half. I'd say...maybe 50-60% of this chapter is the original. The rest was freshly written and completely new, even if it follows the same or similar threads.

Since we're getting so close to a very important reveal, there were a lot more hints that went into this one. Even more so than the previous version. Whether everyone catches those hints, on the other hand...

Ideally, when that reveal happens, people will look back on certain moments in this chapter and go, "Wait, was that..."

Comments

Dr. Mercurious

It's amazing how including the sheer desperation and panic that the characters were feeling can change a problematic section of this story into a good one. I like this version a lot, lot better. Also, her reasons for deciding not to kill Coil are far more cleanly laid out and make sense to boot. Excellent job with the rewrite!