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[Hereafter] Chapter LXXVI: Resolution of the Final Regret I (Patreon)

Published:
2022-11-06 14:27:39
Imported:
2023-10

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Content

It turns out that trying to keep a consistent output for Nanowrimo makes it easier to finish chapters sooner. Who knew?

This was supposed to be a single chapter, but there wasn't enough space to finish without pushing towards 8k, 9k, or more, and taking probably another day or two or four. It would also have made the chapter feel too crowded, so I split it in half.

Apropos of a certain someone appearing here in this chapter... Yeah, I'm still a little bit uncertain. It's not like I haven't done some self-referential stuff before, though. Incidentally, it's not even really him, because this is supposed to be about Aife's regrets, so he's really just a representation of one of them.

Next chapter will finish off this miniature character arc. It might wind up just as long. Funnily enough, I actually imagined this structure as being like a two-node FGO interlude, which didn't actually have anything to do with why I split it up.

EDIT: Moving down.

Comments

cystrom

Really awesome!!! Love the chapter.

SilverShadows

As someone who has no idea who the OC is or what story he's supposed to be from... his inclusion just feels bizarre. Like it's supposed to be some big moment of "oh my God, it's this guy! They're gonna fight and pay off their character arc and it's gonna be awesome! They're referencing the thing with the cool title! "... but he's basically literally nobody in this story. It'd make perfect sense I assume in whatever story this is referencing, but it really makes no sense here. Maybe if she'd mentioned having a Master before a few times? Established this a thing that could happen and set the character up a little in advance with a little anecdote here and there to give him a bit more weight to stand on in this narrative...? But from just a 'this story' perspective as is it's just ringing very hollow.

James_D_Fawkes
>>95110794

You're actually not supposed to automatically recognize him. It's why he's never named. If you do, that's a cool moment for you, but he's not supposed to be himself here, he's a representation of some of Aife's regrets.

SilverShadows
>>95110794

I do get that, it's made pretty clear by Aife's own words. The issue is the way his introduction to the story is written. In advance I apologize if this seems confrontational? That's not my intention at all. I'm trying to give constructive feedback about how what's happening is actually landing from the perspective of a reader who doesn't recognize this guy. It's difficult to find the words though. Him pulling out Gae Bolg, her mentioning a shared event by a title that implies importance like "Master of the Winter Crisis", the flirting, apparently being a bad enough dude to fight Aife better than her three of her actual Ancient Celtic Warrior Students despite being a Master and thus presumed to be far more modern and limited than they are. Them preparing to fight being the cliff hanger hook at the end of the chapter... From a readers perspective that kind of writing implies this guy is Important. Not to the narrative as a whole, but in this moment and to Aife's Story he's someone to pay attention to in particular and that should make the audience lean in and get hype. it's also very obvious, even before I checked your note, that he's a "character from another story" just from the detailing put into things like his house, and their dynamic, and even how "he's not really him" But the problem is that all relies on a narrative weight that is completely disconnected from Hereafter and hasn't even been hinted at before now so he's coming in completely out of nowhere and has zero foundation in this story to stand on. Even a handful of very vague references beforehand like "This isn't my first summoning master" or "Not bad, you're not the best Masters I've ever had, but you're certainly not the worst either" would be enough because it gives the readers the barest foundation of "oh, there's this Master we don't know about". And simply raising that unanswered question hints enough that we as an audience expect we might at least hear about this guy later and preps the audience to accept "a character who was a previous master of Aife" as being at least semi important to her personally as a character. That is, that there's something we don't currently know and might expect to learn later. And for a guy who is presumably only gonna be around for a chapter or so that's enough to support the dynamic the writing is portraying at the moment. But without it the impact and weight of the moment is hitting hollow. At least that's how it seems to me, and I'm not exactly a normal perspective so maybe it's just me being weird.

Emmanuel Rivera

I think the OC'S inclusion is fine. It's Aífe's arc, it's okay for readers not to be privy to her whole life. Also, i think this dude is cool as fuck, and his interaction with Aífe did most of the work (the "runes like Christmas lights" bit was fantastic imagery btw) and I'd love to see them interact more (I'm guessing this a pseudo-crossover with another of your works, James?) But also love how useful this arc is for Taylor getting to know Aífe and also Aífe finding out about Shards, which I'm looking forward to the most! (Yes I know this arc has nothing to do with shards but it's about how they're getting to know each other. Fun!)

James_D_Fawkes
>>95217817

Technically, it's Yukio, from Fate/Recursive Wisdom. However, it's an anachronistic Yukio, who behaves like his story hasn't ended yet, has a personality like it has, and has skills like he's actually spent ten years training under Aife. It's precisely because he's not supposed to be the real Yukio, but a representation of Aife's regrets, that he's like that. I appreciate your perspective on it, but I can understand not everyone being super psyched about "another OC." I thought about putting Connla here instead of Yukio, and depending on what sort of feedback I get when this chapter goes public, I just might, but when I was writing it, it felt better to put Yukio in that place instead of Connla.