Rooster's Trivia- Part 1/2 (Patreon)

Very excited to post the first part of this story that I wrote years ago as a commission. It was from one of my longtime readers and collaborators on tumblr, and he took some pictures to go with it. Well now that I have my Patreon, he decided to update those photos and maybe take a few more for future stories if you all like what you see. Make sure to leave a comment or a like if you want to see more from him after this second part is uploaded this weekend!

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Standing outside the bar with my friends, I tried to pretend like the chill of the unusually cold fall night didn’t get to me. In reality, I was cold. Cold and annoyed that there was a line outside of the bar that my coworker Sarah had suggested.

After work, if we needed a drink, we’d normally just walk down the road to Joe’s Pub, but he was on vacation for the week. That led us here, one cab across town to stand in front of a bar that looked more like a club than anything else. As we inched closer, I dug my hands deeper into my pockets, trying to mask the fact that I’d started shivering a bit without a coat.

“Fuck this line- I don’t think we’re getting in tonight.”

Veronica, one of the accountants that had started going out with us, had finally reached her limit.

“Sarah, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to give a rain check if we stick with this place. I’m down to find a new place or else I’m getting a cab.”

With her arms crossed in front of her chest, I couldn’t help but notice how striking her face was as she defiantly waited for someone to agree with her. Sarah, her lackey who shared a cubicle wall with her, definitely would, but it was Stan who actually spoke up first.

“There’s another bar about a block over.”

“And you waited to tell us now?”

“Well, it’s Rooster’s.”

The rest of the group seemed to know what that meant as if the sheer name of the bar could explain why he hadn’t spoken up.

“It’ll be fine, won’t it Paul?”

All eyes were on me- Sarah, Veronica, Stan, and quiet Clara. Not wanting to let them down, I just nodded my head.

“As long as they have beer.”

“Light beer, okay?”

As everyone but me laughed at Stan’s joke, I just followed them down the street, shaking my head in confusion.

As we turned the corner into a more residential neighborhood, I saw a large bar between two apartments. It was covered in a dark wood facade, and the windows had thick red shutters over them.

Rooster’s!

The bright red sign over the door was the only way to tell that someone hadn’t transplanted an old barn right into the center of the city. Walking past a bored looking bouncer, we all headed towards coat check. The four of them gave their coats to a skinny guy wearing a very tight flannel shirt, and I just stood there letting the heat flood into my thick body. It was almost a bit too hot, but it may have just been the crowd moving around me.

Following Stan, he led us to a bar to grab our drinks, and then he got us situated at one of the high-top tables in the large room in the back. There was a stage set up, and I was excited to realize that we might have a country show. Stan didn’t seem like the guy to be into Johnny Cash, but maybe I’d be surprised tonight. As I downed the light beer and started on the second that Stan had already ordered for me, I waited for the curtains to open up.

Squinting my eyes a bit because there was no way that I’d wear glasses no matter what my doctor said, I could see a woman in a skin tight dress that fit every curve of her body including those huge knockers that were spilling out over the top. Her hair was too fluffy, but I could barely focus on anything but her golden globes below that.

“Hey Paul, how do you like those jugs?”

Veronica had leaned in close to whisper the joke to me, but before I could answer, I realized how open her shirt was as well. She had on a seemingly normal button-up shirt, but one too many buttons had slipped open, and I could see her bra peeking out above the fabric. The lacy black fabric made her tits stand out even more.

She was still talking now, and I could see hands going up all over the room, but I ignored all of that. How had I never noticed how sexy Veronica was?

“Paul, you in?”

“Sure.”

“You serious?”

“Of course.”

“We have a volunteer!”

That last comment was spoken not to me but shouted up to the lady up on stage.

“Well, come on up!”

The voice seemed deeper than I was expecting, but I ignored that as Clara surprisingly leaned over and pushed me off my chair to land on my feet. Cheers were pushing me towards the stage, and I couldn’t back down from whatever I’d apparently agreed to. I thought Veronica had just been talking about what I’d been staring at, but apparently not.

Climbing the stairs, I felt the hot lights shine down on me as I stood by the lady next to me on stage. Or should I say, the man dressed up as a lady. Those beautiful knockers that I could see from the back row weren’t natural- in fact, the rubbery sheen made them look like the top half of a mannequin up close.

“We don’t get many straight guys up here, do we boys?”

The crowd was roaring back in high-pitched cheers, and I shielded my eyes to look out at the audience under the lights. A sea of gay guys was eagerly looking back up at me, and I realized now what that light beer joke had meant earlier. I’d had old girlfriends watch Rupaul’s show, but for the first time, I was standing next to an actual drag queen. A drag queen who was a few inches taller than me which should have clued me in to begin with.

“So honey, you ready for our little quiz? Your friends sure seemed to think you’d be into it.”

I could hear Veronica’s cheer above the crowd, and I knew that I’d say yes to anything for her.

“Sure, ma’am.”

She wrapped her surprisingly muscular arm around me as she planted a kiss on my forehead.

“You’re making me feel like a woman right now- uh!”

I blushed a bit as her sexual moan rang in my ear, but everyone else was apparently used to this show.

“Let’s begin! We’re going to play a country song, and if you guess the artist wrong, you’ll have to pay the price.” She’d turned away from me to face the audience now. “Ladies and gays, are we ready?”

More cheers rang out, and I tried to swallow the lump growing in my throat as I nodded my head. Some obscure country song started playing out of the speakers, and I realized that I didn’t even have a guess. It wasn’t any of that new country pop that I hated, but I still couldn’t place it at all. I just had to shake my head as laughs of anticipation met me from the audience.

“You know what that means, right boys?”

“Shirt! Shirt! Shirt!”

It took me a second to realize that they weren’t chanting shit… they were yelling the word shirt over and over again. Looking down, I saw my plain blue button-down still securely around my chest, and it didn’t click what they were saying until I looked over at the drag queen.

“You don’t mean…?”

I couldn’t even finish my sentence as my mouth dried up to prevent any more words from exiting. The queen was miming open up buttons over her ample bosom, and the crowd hadn’t stopped their chant yet.

“Sweetie, didn’t you hear me introduce this game before you walked on stage?”

Obviously fucking not. Veronica had probably known that too once she volunteered me. She’d probably caught me staring at her chest, and this was my punishment. Nodding my head again, I slowly lifted my hands up to my shirt and started pulling open the buttons, one by one. I cursed my lack of undershirt today as my sweaty, hair chest came into view.

Peeling the fabric over my shoulders, I reluctantly handed it to the tall woman next to me and stood there under the hot lights as she took her sweet time. My juicy pecs, covered in sweaty chest hair, stood glistening above my flat stomach in full view to everyone. I could ignore the guys up front, but as I realized that my coworkers were also seeing me, I began to break out in a nervous sweat that just made my body even shinier.

I had to get the next song right, but as it played, my mind was blank once again. I was a country fan, and as probably one of the only straight guys in the room, I thought I’d have an advantage, but no. As the cheers rang out again, I began unbuckling my belt. Tugging at the end, it felt stuck in one of the loops, and I had to pull even harder. All at once, it came ripping out of my pants, and it looked like I was pretending to do some stripper moves for the crowd.

Trying to plead my innocence, I realized that my protests had been drowned out by the gasps of the audience and the banter from the queen fanning her face with her cue cards. So instead, I just tried to clear my mind and wait for the next song.

The words actually seemed familiar this time, and I began humming along in my head:

Rock me mamma like a wagon wheel, rock me mama any way you feel…

Confident now, I tried to put on a face for Veronica out there in the crowd as I loudly answered: “Darius Rucker.”

“That reject from Hootie and the Blowfish? Sweetie, he just did a cover- this one is Old Crow Medicine Show.”

Fuck- I thought I’d gotten away with this one! Leaning down, I began taking off my cowboy boots, and I realized that my innocent choice in shoes this morning made it seem like I’d planned on coming here in the first place. As I stood there in my socked feet, I waited for the next song to play.

“Well sweets, aren’t you forgetting something?”

“But I took off my boots!”

“And those aren’t enough- you’re forfeiting your clothes, not your footwear. Time to get out of those pants of yours.”

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Check back later to see more of Paul's clothes coming off in Part 2...