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LOVE IS BLIND: 0312 "The Reunion" with Mary Payne Gilbert from PINK SHADE! (Patreon)

Published:
2022-11-10 05:34:54
Imported:
2024-12
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New allegations are thrown at Cole, Raven reveals who she is dating now, and Bartise is still dumb. It's the Love is Blind Reunion y'all!'

FOLLOW Mary Payne & Erin on Insta at https://www.instagram.com/pinkshadepod/

And their website: https://pinkshadepodcast.com/


Listen and review on our website https://www.realitygays.com

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Find Mattie! Instagram: @theMattMarr Twitter: @theMattMarr

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Listen to Mattie’s other ADVICE podcast, THE DEAR MATTIE SHOW!

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Comments

Amy Diehl

Zanab and Matt should have got together, they're both negative and insecure

Amy Diehl

I am so glad you guys saw the Cutie scene the same way I did!! I thought Zay was being so passive aggressive and mean to him (like she was the whole season out of the pods) and he was just being normal. She already was pissed at him so she took ANYTHING she said badly, even if he had no bad intentions

Nohemi Carreno

I have not listened.... O.M.G the last scene with the cuties. Im so happy they showed this scene. My husband turned to me and said "I don't see anything wrong with what he said" and I totally agree.

Michelle Martinez Logsdon

I love this crossover sooooo much. Who doesn’t love Mary Payne Gilbert. All great women have three names. ❤️

Christopher Rommel

I’m watching the reunion now…I honestly don’t see Cole as this awful person. Like when he used the word “crazy” it’s like come on guys…and the whole bipolar comment, I got the feeling he regretted saying that as soon as it left his (adorable) lips 👄 I wanna give this guy a hug and think he’ll grow more mature because he was on the show and saw some of his choices on TV.

Briana K.

Was so excited to see this pop up in my feed as I was waiting on pins and needles to hear y’all break down cutiegate, and then at second glance I saw Mary Payne’s name and shrieked with excitement! Excellent breakdown, team, though I expected nothing less. 💜

amy

love you three together!! anyone notice that every woman was carrying a louis vuitton tote?! $1200

Natalie Duarte

YES! 100% agree, I had the exact same thought - that closing scene was totally production showing us their perspective on it.

Kelly Savoie Samora
>>95338522

I agree, I think everything he said or did was magnified by her. She shouldn’t have been on the show because no one was going to be “good enough.” None of the “bad” stuff he apparently said was shown. If there was footage of these situations I think they would have showed some of it??

Kel

if you have already stopped eating due to ED and insecurities, having someone say ANYTHING about what you're eating is triggering. again, yalls hatred of Zanab is so upsetting

Rebecca Goodge
>>95346879

I 1000% agree, I can't believe how much credit they are giving Cole in all this. Like I'm sorry but he was a total asshole. I felt so bad for Zanab the entire time because he clearly doesn't see that what he's saying is upsetting to her which is a bigger issue. Even if on its face it's not a bad thing to say, if it makes her feel that bad then stop!

Victoria

I ACTUALLY PEED MY PANTS when Mattie played the repetitive drums and claimed the button was broken. Thank you so much for that laugh!!

Megan

Colleen just looked scared the whole time. Like she was worried about saying anything or Matt hearing something he didn’t like. Do we think there is any abuse in that relationship?

Jennifer Whelan

Megan, I agree. Her posture evoked fear, worry and unease. She kept apologizing and she didn’t need to. And, don’t get me started on the Zanab of it all!

Kai

haven’t listened to the episode yet but is anyone else mad that they didn’t address Matt’s anger issues, even once??! i feel like that should have been touched on.

Kai
>>95346879

i hear what you’re saying because i have intense eating issues as well, and i’m easily triggered. but maybe Zanab never mentioned her body insecurities to Cole? Unless she does that, then it’s hard to expect people not to talk about food stuff around her. I think Zanab didn’t know how to express her emotions enough to Cole. Because maybe if he knew about her insecurities with food, he might not have said what he said or maybe he would have apologized for it. Or maybe he wouldn’t have listen to her at all. It’s hard to tell

Kel
>>95346879

If Cole is the one who is triggering her eating issues to begin with, i doubt she'll feel comfortable talking to him about it. Cole isn't and has never been her safe space, so I understand her keeping her feelings to herself. He's definitely made comments about her body and eating habits, tho. My main issue is everyone's quickness to vilify Zanab without using their critical thinking skills.

Megan
>>95355185

agreed! Hmm, white male privilege? We just push it under the rug.

Kai
>>95346879

i agree i don’t think Zay deserves the attacks she’s getting right now. Some folks arent thinking clearly. She’s annoying at times but i feel like if Cole was less attractive… people wouldn’t be this mad at Zanab.

Kel
>>95346879

ding ding ding, Thank you Kai :)

Maritza Lopez

She grabbed the bowl because it had cherries in it. So she was also eating cherries . 100 percent I would say that anyone just to slow them if we have dinner plans. Not food shaming at all. Zenab is Camille Grammer hearing Kyle say Is Kelsey gonna be there? The mental health issues are real for that one. Also, Cole’s a douche. They never had a chance. Thankfull.

Elizabeth Marks
>>95355185

I wonder if they did that out of concern for Colleen? Would them highlighting his anger make things worse once the cameras are off? Doesn't make it right, he should have his actions dissected and maybe if she had said no, they would have.

Lioness
>>95337980

Because there WAS nothing wrong with what he said. I thought this a lot with Cole throughout the season.

Elizabeth Marks
>>95337980

It certainly vindicated Cole. He showed actual concern that she hadn't eaten. Is it possible he was gross when cameras were off? Sure. But she clearly misinterpreted that whole scene and we have proof.

Ryce
>>95346879

And Cole is supposed to magically know she has an ED? That’s her responsibility to communicate, not his to infer. I think Zanab was intentionally cruel to Cole. She saw him as an idiotic cos straight white boy and went in for the kill. Every move was calculated. I don’t think the Gays went in on her hard enough.

Anousha Nzume

https://variety.com/2022/tv/news/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-1235425638/amp/

Alexandra MacQueef

I have always said that Cole is the human embodiment of a Labrador retriever. A lab might bumble into you, knock your shit on the floor with its tail, accidentally chew up your favorite new Gucci boots… however none of this intentionally or with malice. A lab needs training. Same thing with Cole. When he came home from the bachelor party, drunk and proudly telling her about denying another girl? He was a Labrador proudly retrieving and dragging a nasty, muddy ball inside for his owner to behold. The problem was that Cole shook and sprayed his muddy mess all over his owner Zanab.

Alexandra MacQueef
>>95360761

LOLOLOL “Is Kelsey going to be there?” What a perfect callback. Totally whistling in the dark.

Anousha Nzume
>>95363659

https://www.today.com/popculture/tv/love-is-blind-cuties-story-cole-zanab-rcna56224

Jessica Pyper

Sissies, I’m so torn about the situation with Z and Cole. It’s dissonance to the extreme, and reading about it on the intertubes is not helpful. AT ALL. But, I just read an article written prior to the last episodes airing, and I think it articulates what I’m struggling with. It’s from psychology today, and it’s very interesting. Ya’ll should check it out. If you’re interested, here’s the link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-them-or-leave-them/202211/will-zanab-and-cole-love-is-blind-stay-together?amp And here’s another one by the same author that discusses the final episode/reunion. It’s mostly focused on Matt and Colleen…which whew, glad to see it being discussed: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-them-or-leave-them/202211/the-unforgivable-mistake-in-the-love-is-blind-reunion I really got emotionally invested in this season. Way more than I have with any other reality show. It’s fucked with my head. Anyone else experiencing something similar?

Stephanie Klinkenberg

Someone with disordered eating thoughts/ habits receives every comment or action around food as a comment on their appearance or weight.

Emily K

Unfortunately, I can see myself in Zanab. But I am working on it. I can be very insecure even in my very long-term relationship. (The vindictiveness, I can't relate to) But I am learning I am responsible for my own emotions. (Yay! Therapy!) I can see why she's taking things the wrong way, how she's written their story, and how she assumes negative intent. Cole said some things that I am sure would make a lot of people insecure or feel bad. But since that first, she's a 10 and you're a 9 comment. She had written their story.

Peggy Ann

I’m wondering if Cole knows about her eating and body image issues. If you don’t know someone has an issue with something, how are you sure to know not to talk about something or handle a topic with care?

Jessica Pyper
>>95355185

I just read an article from psychology today that addresses that very issue! It’s posted further down in the comments if you’re interested.

Peggy Ann

Because the Z&C topic has many layers, I’m not sure what production’s stance is. Are they Team Cole or Team Zanab?

donny T's double Ds

i bet it took HOURS for nancy to get that rats nest hairstyle out

Caroline Dickie
>>95349281

I almost had a “drive off an icy road” moment because I laughed at that so hard!

Caroline Dickie

What did you think of Colleen and Matt not living together yet? They said it was because of lease stuff but come on…her roommates could’ve found someone to take her spot! I’m sure the just love having him stay at their place several times a week!

Caroline Dickie

Cole is an idiot who has a lot of growing up to do, for sure, but is Zanab Miss Havisham? I felt like she had real trauma and issues from her past and took her revenge out on Cole.

Christina
>>95350853

I worked in the domestic violence field for 8 years and Coleen's behavior was spot-on for someone in an abusive relationship. Let's not sugarcoat Matt's behavior by saying he has anger issues and couples counseling would do them some good. Do you think he has these explosive outbursts at his job when things don't go his way? No. He's able to keep his anger in check when he needs to. Read Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That?" for more insight on the motivations on abusive and controlling men. I will say that when he listed out her whole schedule hour by hour I got chills. His on-screen behavior wasn't brought up either to protect Colleen, because in all likelihood she would have had to pay afterwards for any backlash he faced at the reunion. Or, Netflix chose not to bring it up because they they as a network would have had to answer for why they continued to film this abusive man that should have been sent home after the first outburst in Malibu and felt comfortable continuing to put Colleen in an unsafe situation.

Laura

Cole and Zanab should’ve just ended it after his family cut off communication with him. That should have been a huge red flag right off the bat for both of them. I think his parents want him to be with a Sadie Robertson or Madi Prewett- rich, white, purity culture type. It was doomed from the start and became so toxic. They both need serious therapy.

Jessica Pyper
>>95372108

I feel like everyone is jumping to this conclusion, but maybe it had more to do with not taking him seriously because of how he rushed into his last marriage? Idk how I’d feel about going on a reality television show.

Laura
>>95372108

True we’ll probably never know for sure. That was just an assumption based on the cutting off communication and only responding with Bible verses. A lot of ultra religious families encourage getting married quickly it’s not usually frowned upon but I can see the reality tv show aspect being a concern.

Kai
>>95366221

and the comment he made about her looking so different without makeup. i’m so sensitive when it comes to that stuff, i wouldn’t be able to not be insecure around my partner if he told me something like that

Alison Batten
>>95350853

SPOT ON. She looked like a fuckin hostage on stage. And he was glowering with his arm around her the whole time

Emily K
>>95366221

Yes, so many unnecessary, stupid comments. I would have checked out a long time ago. I get it’s a show and she can’t just up and leave but I would not have said I’m sure i’m marrying him only to intentionally humiliate him. I’m not an eye for an eye type person. She’s hurt (which is fair!) and he’s immature (thinks that his words don’t have meaning, they do!) I’m so glad they’re not together.

Christopher Rommel

Not sure if you guys figured this out but…that last scene was “the gotcha” 😅 I personally love it.

Christopher Rommel
>>95338522

I love this “gotcha” is the equivalent of “He’s so toxic” production: “bitch, hold my bag…”

Jeida Mitchell

Cole and Zanab could not have been any worse at communicating with each other. I think had they been able to do that it would have been a whole different story.

Claire Pancerz
>>95365907

Yes!! And I’m shocked to see that most people on Reddit thought this season was boring. This season was fascinating; so much to parse.

Jessica Pyper
>>95365907

There really is! I’ve gone back to the episodes that started in Malibu and have been rewatching Cole and Z’s scenes, haha. I’m weird. I know. But I’m trying to figure out if there’s more I missed.

Mary Scheske

I literally messaged Mattie like two weeks ago and said "watch this happily ever after be like 32 episodes long" hahahahahaha Ken's Man's Shop BOTHERED ME SO! Why not just Ken's Men's Shoppe?!!

Lily C
>>95363920

Cole is a human adult man, what’re you talking about lmaoooo

Anna Gilbert
>>95363920

It really upsets me how people fall for this but only when it’s men. He clearly allowed the juvenile, creepy youth pastor facade to drop several times in a very calculated manner like with the bipolar comment, and people still want to treat this GROWN MAN like a child or now a dog? This is just such an insane stretch for a man who clearly banks on people thinking he’s sweet and innocent when he so obviously is not. The benefit of the doubt he gets while Zanab gets ripped to shreds just gives me a pit in my stomach.

Anna Gilbert
>>95346879

Well it probably didn’t help that he made veiled racial comments to her throughout the series, but yes, poor straight white boy cole. Also, maybe she did communicate it to him. And maybe she didn’t, but it’s a heavily edited show. We can’t know for sure.

Alexandra MacQueef
>>95363920

I hope I didn’t rip Zanab to shreds; I don’t think I did? I honestly don’t think Cole is either sweet nor innocent. Looks way too much like my wasband (ex husband) to get away with much with me. I attempted to make a correlation between him and a very clumsy, incorrigible, messy dog that yes, could be trained. Not a cute puppy. I hope I didn’t convey otherwise, but evidently I did! Another thought: Cole (and Bartise) as a 25 year old man, is still young enough to be covered by his parents’ insurance. Why? Because among other reasons, it has been proven that executive thinking skills are not fully available, online and developed in the prefrontal cortex until the age of 26. Not making excuses for the boys, just pointing out why it was never ever going to work.

Dr. BitchKraft

Bartise’s top knot will haunt me forever. Also, did Nancy and Zanab have the same wedding dress???

__fieldnotes
>>95341442

Texas 🙃 no one that actually cares about /follows fashion would ever carry one… they haven’t been “all the rage” since 2005 (said w love!! Love to all sissies)

__fieldnotes
>>95346879

I hear you- however as someone who has also struggling w ED, and has gone thru extensive therapy, I would’ve peaced the fuck out the second cole said Z was a 9 and the other girls are a 10. We’ve seen other couples end things on the “honeymoon” (shaina, the bisexual man from season 1) she had signs he wasn’t going to be the type of man to support her EARLYYY on

__fieldnotes
>>95366221

We’ve seen other couples end things at the honeymoon, Z had the choice to get out then

__fieldnotes

I’m so confused why everyone (our reality gay queens) is acting like cole did/would’ve said yes to zanab. They asked zanab first. Cole never had a chance to answer it. I absolutely think he would’ve said no…

Nohemi Carreno

This a great breakdown of Zanab being a gaslighter. https://youtu.be/niD9lw7AzlI

Anna Gilbert
>>95363920

No you didn’t rip Zanab to shreds, my bad! An overgeneralization about what I’m seeing on the internet but the vitriol towards her versus the leniency towards Cole really perturbs me. I’m not saying either is right, it’s a complicated situation. But I just don’t feel like we need to make excuses for Cole. He’s a grown man, and he is capable of making informed decisions.

Alexandra MacQueef
>>95363920

No worries, Anna, I get it. Having lived in one of the reddest parts of Texas since 2007 where men expect to be excused with a faux trite, “Aw, shucks, pardon me, missy” believe me, I am sick of it, too. They believe it’s their inalienable right to be instantly forgiven, fawned over and coddled. Exhausting. I was immediately repelled by Cole because of the cutesy shit he did when he knew he had pissed her off. Bleh

Jessica Pyper
>>95427484

Loved this! I read an article written by a couples therapist that broke down the infamous chicken dinner. She said a lot of similar things.

__fieldnotes

God I can’t stop thinking about this season, yall!!! Today I’m thinking about how bartise body-shamed Nancy much worse than cole did to zanab, but bc Nancy came in w such confidence and seemed like someone who has worked on herself, it just got brushed over! It didn’t effect (affect? I never get this right) her as much as it effected zanab. The comparison between the 2 couples is fascinating! I wish we could’ve spent less time on cole and zanab at the reunion, and more time on bartise and psycho Matt!

Erica Garcia

Y’all Cuties is a brand name for mandarin oranges that’s based out of my area and I’m sure they are dying at the PR of “cutie gate” that being said I feel sad that these people are going to be haunted by this shit for years to come. I think when one is on shaky ground/unsteady any comment can be turned into an attack. Z never believed or trusted Cole to begin with so his compliments were never accepted but it’s funny how his comments said in jest Were like “you broke me” levels. This is like Natalie and “hooked gate” all over again!

Nanda

Wow, I just watched the reunion. So much to say, but in the end I hope Zanab and Cole will come out of this for the better. That she can see and experience she was truly loved by him despite all and that he is regretful, so she can open her heart again for someone else and he can be remorseful about some things he said, but not let it dictate his feelings for ever. He is not a terrible person or evil. He is very human. I recognize myself in Zanab, I have the same narrative. Dear God, it pains me to see I just transfer my pain to someone else this way. It is not fair to the other person.

J Moore
>>95346879

I agree, Kellie. I found his comments and behavior in the cuties scene really upsetting and problematic. People's acceptance of his behavior as normal and innocent says a lot about how society excuses men's controlling behavior if it's presented in a cute and joking manner. He was so awful to her about her appearance.

Megan

I have food/eating issues. And what Cole did with the Cuties may seem innocuous, but it would have hurt me deeply. I could actually see myself crying over it. My husband had to learn not to talk about me eating anything. I’m not saying Zanab overplayed things or anything, just that it may seem like nothing to you but a huge issue to the person

Alexandra MacQueef
>>95363920

Anna! I just rewatched episodes 1&2 to re-educate and edify myself. I now really understand why you feel the way you do about Zanab. I remember who she is as a human with a whole lived experience. She is not the bad guy in this situation; they definitely share the responsibility.

C Iyaji
>>95504609

Yes! And overall people should not comment on what others are eating or their weight - it's just not necessary and is based in so much fatphobia and also colonialism among other things.

Katherine Rea

Mary Payne has questions 🎶🎶🎶

Sam Leon
>>95346879

Yeah I had to unsubscribe due to coverage of this show. Not seeing massive red flags in Cole's behavior, is a red flag to me.