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Lady Killer (Patreon)

Published:
2018-01-19 05:58:40
Edited:
2019-02-12 10:07:33
Imported:
2022-01

Downloads

Content

You've ordered a male escort for the night.  He may not be what you expected...



I was in a bit of a silly mood this week!  This audio is a bit of a comedic experiment ;)  Have a laugh with me.  Sit back and relax and let the Ladykiller take care of you! 

XXD

Files

Comments

Ariel Diamond

I'm all kinds of dead right now - this was the most hilarious thing! 😂😂😂😂

Anonymous

Funny, sexy, cute, awkward. I died when you started doing the times table 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous

I don't know whether to laugh or get aroused 🤔. Love it either way 😋

Anonymous

hehe fuckity fuckity XD

Anonymous

You're so much more beautiful than the porn stars on my computer XD Im dying laughing

Anonymous

"Your clit? oh okay... slurp slurp there? no? slurp slurp there? this thing should come with a GPS. I get it around every 20 licks or so" XD I cant I am fucking crying laughing This was sweet sexy and freaking hilarious. I needed that laugh so badly <3 thanks for the moans groans and giggles ;P

GinaG

Bwwahaha! The 20 licks, the boing, the ass cramp- friction hysterical. I agree with other commenters -this should be a series.

Anonymous
>>10519557

Hey, at least he's honest...it *is* good for guys to have a good wank...keeps the prostate cancer at bay, recent research has shown...;-)

Anonymous
>>10519876

I know right? I think this particular escort is clearly a bit more inexperienced than the agency let on...but OMG...I'd go out with this particular escort again, just because he's too funny..."safe and sexy..." ROTFLMAO! And I happen to LOVE Indian cuisine!

Anonymous

Laughed out loud several times! Actually quite sweet too. You're a good storyteller. I encourage you to explore that side of you more! It's nice to hear a virginal guy being an eager student. :)

Anonymous

9x1 is 9

Anonymous

I also laughed out loud several times. You are too cute Gael.

Anonymous

I am ugly cry-laughing into my pillow. This is hilarious!!

Amy

This might be the only time I could forgive not knowing where the clit is! Somehow his dirty talk is next level though. Beginner's luck or roleplay concept teehee

Grace

THIS. IS. FICTION. I don't believe for a second that you could ever actually be this awkward!! Not a chance! 😂 AND THE SPRING-Y NOISE WHEN THE CONDOM FALLS OFF!! I'M DYYYYIIIIINNNG!

Anonymous

You make me laugh, Gael. Too cute!❤❤

Anonymous

I listened to this on my way to work this morning and it had me a bit nostalgic. I was my high school boyfriends first and this reminded me a lot of his first time. I was experienced and he was so nervous but it was just the sweetest. After a lot of (enthusiastic) practice, he was one of the best lovers I’ve ever had. Thanks for reminding me of that experience. 🥰

Anonymous

Literally so adorable!! I am a sucker for an absolute dork and...well...ya’ got it! The fumbling and saying the absolute wrong things?! XD this was more than my cup of tea! (Though...I was waiting for a “So is it gonna be cash or card?” at the end there).

Anonymous

Nothing is sexier than being safe 🙌🏻😂

Anonymous

I forgot how fun and sexy this audio was! I'm glad we got to revisit it! You're fecken adorable!! 😘

V⭐️

I swear, the first time I heard this on YouTube. I couldn’t stop laughing from start till the end, and now that I heard the full version. It still crack me up, at the same time, find you sexier, G. Again, thanks for making amazing audios like this. 😘

Anonymous

Hit it every 20 licks or so. Banana ... Boing. OMG (Oh My Gael). I'm in stitches. This was so cute, adorable and funny. OMFG (Oh My F'n Gale).

Katarína Vraňáková

3 a.m.and i think I woke Up whole house with laughter this is just amazing 😂😂😂😂 and its freaking real thats whats best :D let me tell you, concentrating on math is better then concentrating on dead puppies(real story bruh) 😍amazing perfect and still sexy. 🖤

AkiWolfAmani

When I read the description, I thought my escort was gonna be some kind of murderer. Was not expecting this! 🤣 This was really funny and cute with still that hint of Gael sexiness.

Anonymous

Omg😍😍Finally

Laura

Ooo, I’m excited! Happy Friday, G! ❤️💋

Gaelforce

Good morning all! Just a little bit of silliness to kick off the weekend 😜😜

Anonymous

Yussss!!!!!!

Anonymous

Happy Friday,G Happy Friday,Lovelies (´･ω･`) 😘😘🤗🤗

Anonymous

Has this guy ever been on a date before? 😉 Kinda clutzy.

Anonymous

Sounds like a good time! Hi Gael!

Anonymous

It is 6 O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING! This is such an ungodly hour and I’m still tempted to listen before going back to sleep 😂

Anonymous

I was just about to go to sleep too lol

Anonymous

I just got an account and five minutes later you post an audio. It's going to be a good weekend :))) 😎❤

Anonymous

Good evening G!💖

Anonymous

Can't wait to check this out! 😍 Have a great Friday, love and lovelies! ❤️

Gaelforce
>>9569236

Hmmm Get up young lady! There's a world to be enjoyed This instant!

Anonymous

Yes!!! I stayed up late enough! 1:00am here. ..in with my ear buds. 'nighty night y'all.

Gaelforce
>>9569250

Laughter and lots of kale The secret to happiness, health and monumental toilet visits 😂

Anonymous

Seanie didn't go into the escort business did he?

Anonymous

Good morning Gael! *🦊💤 sleepy fox*

Anonymous

I close my eyes to get some rest and my phone pings ..... Well guess who's not going to sleep now...

Gaelforce
>>9569361

Gawd no! He rehearsed this piece but boy was he bad! So I handed it to his bro.., There may be Trouble ahead

Gaelforce
>>9569397

Morning Foxy! Have some Foxy coffee and get out there there Seize the day bahaha! Xd

Gaelforce
>>9569403

Muahaha I shall be serving kool aid after the entertainment is over Morning miss Raven ❤️🦆

Anonymous

Fuckity Fuckity fuck.... I'm sorry I laughed harder at that than I probably should have😂😂

Nadia Ruzika

It's 12 AM here so I'm heading to bed soon, but this looks fun G. Can't wait to give it a listen when I have the mind to appreciate it. The ideas you come up with, I swear. Such a creative lil thing you are.

Anonymous

Lowkey found the adorkable-ness of this quite sexy. I kind of adore the funny/awkward moments ❤

V

First timer here. Just got the notice. Let's do this! Thanks, dear!

Anonymous

😂😂😂 Best I've ever heard👍🏼😁 How am I going to work now?😂😂😂😂😂 thank you😘♥️

Anonymous

Lolz...the ass cramp! I'm laughing n grimmacing because it happened to me on the back of my thigh (bent legs/top) made for such an attractive*not!*/painful dismount! 😂 Sex can be funny! Happy Friyay!! (((Hugs)))

Anonymous

What a way to get this Friday off to a great start 😂

Anonymous

I was just about to go to sleep and then this video popped up oh well so much for sleep lol

Anonymous

2:30 pm here. Yaaaay! Too bad I am in my classroom now checking hundreds of testpapers. Gotta finish these immediately so I can go back home straight to my bedroom 😁

Anonymous

NOICE!! and just in time for snoozles! 👌🏼😴🌙

Anonymous

Only one word to describe this....a-dork-able! I couldn't stop laughing. You little comedic genius, Gael 😉😂

Anonymous

I'm sitting in my work carpark, having just listened on the way over. I was flip-flopping between laughing out loud ("I'll hit it every 20 licks or so" 😂😂😂😂) and thinking: "TOO SEXY!!!! I'M DRIVING HERE!!!". This was so adorable! Made my day 😊

Anonymous

This was adorable XD Sexy too, but mostly adorable 😏 It made me laugh when he said “I’ll hit it every 20 licks or so” 🤣🤣🤣

Gaelforce
>>9569663

Just give them all an A and give yourself an O+ Good afternoon 😜😂

Gaelforce
>>9569668

Snoozles! Snuggle and snuffle in the snoozles ❤️❤️ G'night Cherry

Anonymous

Cute and clumsy - best way to start the day: with laughs. 😂 Thanks so much! ❤

Gaelforce

This app is crashing like Richard Hammond. I need a helmet like

Gaelforce
>>9569690

Awwww! I'm happy you got a little giggle I tried to make him sexy too I wanted to confuse the brain.., It's a little different but hey! Good morning Crystal!

Anonymous

I am in stiches over here😂😂..... Brovo Geal the virginal aspect of this was fantastic and funny as always you gave us gold.. And with that I'm going to bed night Gael night lovelies sleep well 😘

Gaelforce
>>9569736

Yay! That's the exact reaction I wanted Except for the sex 'n' driving I would totally book you if I was cop And p.s. I just made an audio out of this idea 😜😂😜

Stella Rose

Omg Gael, why am I feeling so embarrassed for Mr Lady Killer? 🤣🤣 I'm just bursting with laughter here and waiting for your next line! Whose door will Lady Killer be knocking next? I want a series out of this please! 😘

Anonymous

Gave me a much needed laugh... and another much needed thing after my first week back at college

Gaelforce
>>9569860

Hi Sharon You better watch out! LK could arrive at your door tonight with a bunch of roses 😂😂

Anonymous

Oh dear.. Well he was doing his best.. Cramp or no cramp.. At least he hadn't eaten cabbage the day before 😉 It was cute a sweet 😆 Have a wonderful day Good ass Prana 🤣🤣❤️❤️😆😆

Gaelforce
>>9569876

I'd say all that porn watching paid off in the end If only porn taught him where stuff actually is 😂😂

Anonymous

Hilarious!! I'm dying! "This thing should come with a GPS" I. CAN'T!! Love this! #teamnervous

Gaelforce
>>9569897

He's a savage for the cabbage haha! Xd Morning May-Britt ❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous

The fact that they both got there in the end is the happy ending everyone deserves, right?! Still laughing. 😂 no idea how you can keep composure when making this!

Gaelforce
>>9569912

Hahsha It's amazing what pops out with improv That line made me laugh! Good morning Letita ❤️❤️❤️

Gaelforce
>>9569934

It was a very awkward encounter tbf But I think he pulled it off And so did she I know I know Too early haha! Good morning Cassandra

Jessica H

This is everything! I think I need to order Mr. Lady Killer 😉😏❤️

Gaelforce
>>9569979

Hi Jessica! I wonder how much he costs? He has some balls to charge huh? Sheesh Good morin sweetie 😜❤️

Anonymous

Listening again...so dang funny! So he became an escort let his virginity go?? Bless his eager heart! Every 20 licks.... can't fault the guy for tryin! Priceless....

Anonymous

Guess she knew a good thing when she saw it cause she stayed the course! Real Super Trooper! Dial 1800Ladyklr! He even thanked her! Where's my phone??!

Anonymous

I can't listen to the audio right now😭Fookin Uni.....I need a Professor Killer. Where can I order?😂G. give me Seanie's phone number!

Anonymous

I'm only half way through but this is hilarious 'you could definitely hang a wet duffle coat from them' 😂😂😂. What a way to wake up thanks G ❤

Anonymous

OMGAEL hell...help you, help me 😂 jesus h roosevelt christ you have a way with words that sent me reeling. Could have something to do with the fact that you woke me up (literally went to bed about 2 1/2 hours ago) but anything sex related in the middle of the night is the best, right? Oh my, you had me muffling my laughter and moans 😂 😜 Thanks Gael, now how am I supposed to go back to sleep...

Anonymous

Place my tongue in your residence and taste your ripe decadence Saviour the flavor of our relevance And keep the memory for evidence

Alex

God I couldn't stop laughing 😂. Such a great way to begin the day!! Good morning/evening everyone! ❤️

Anonymous

Oh my goodness, Gael, you know exactly how to brighten up my day. You had me going back and forth between giggling and sexy thoughts, but the multiplication table recitation made me laugh right out loud!😂 Aww, bless his heart, and bless yours as well, G.😙 Happy Friday ❤!

Anonymous

Good morning Gael and loverlies this is something I have been looking forward too always nice to wake up to a new audio I love it 😊❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous

Good boy. Finally realizing what I've known all along. You my - I mean our - ho. 😜💋🖤

Anonymous

This had me laughing so hard I had to grab a pillow so I wouldn't wake anybody in the house up. I may have snorted as well but you can't prove a thing.😂

Anonymous

Oh look... what we´ ve got here... Gael the funny hooker. How many bad jokessss doess he tell?... ewwwwwsss...

Greek Goddess

Omg I had a good laugh and it was sexy too!He needed GPS to find the spot 😂😂😂😂

Anonymous

😂 😂 Sexy and funny! He's Seanie's real twin! Omg that guy! Where can I order him? He does have a bit of skills!

Anonymous

You're so hilariously adorable. 💜

John Christian Ambion

Can you please create a more romantic version of that? Comedy and erotic NSFW don't mix.

Stella Rose
>>9570039

'He even thanked her' - Precisely! Who knew that a male escort could be this polite? Let's put him on speed dial haha!

Anonymous

OMG...Gael the escort virgin. Or would that be the Virgin Escort? lol I totally loved this. Going to have to listen again. And for the record Doc and Miss LJ...still can't get to Gael's Patreon page except from the links in the email he sends out for the new audios. I will have to try hubby's computer later. I use Google Chrome. I can't get to any patreon accounts on my phone, where here it is just Gael's. I'm on the verge of panic here because I can't get to anything other than the audio from the link. I can't get to the overview, posts or community parts.

Gaelforce
>>9570925

Queeny I just sprayed seanie's balls in your potion I'm sending him over to you tonight so you cab babysit him Bahahaha

Gaelforce
>>9570972

Heya Goddess! All Men need that GPS system! It's so very true! Happy Friday!

Gaelforce
>>9570993

Hey Jessica! Maybe it is seanie acting like Gael? That scallywag is capable of anything when it comes to scoring a goal haha Good morning ms baguette 🥖❤️

Gaelforce
>>9571311

Thank you Marcia! Oh no! They are locked out? What the?? Did they update the app? I'll send Patreon a mail

Anonymous

This was a perfect wake me up this morning. Loved it! 😊

Anonymous

Will leave this for this evening as a treat after work! Thank you Gael 💖😉

Anonymous

Congrats on getting to 1500 on patreon!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Gaelforce
>>9571807

Thank you Jemmcee! Have a lovely weekend ☘️☘️☘️❤️❤️

Anonymous

😂😂😂...you are too much G!! Loved it!!!!

Gaelforce
>>9572075

Yay! Thank you Nikki!! ❤️ Happy weekend to you ma dear ☘️❤️

Anonymous

OMG! I loved this. It definitely made my Friday Cheerios!😂 Thanks G and have a good weekend!

Gaelforce

Hahaha! The possibilities are endless with these stories Happy Friday Dezzyar ❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous

Hi dear artist ! For me erotica and comedy mix so well. Thanks

Anonymous

You know, when you teased the title Lady Killer, my mind wandered and I wondered if you were making a new Vampire Gael audio. This was most definitely not what I was expecting, and I was really pleasantly surprised.😂 I like that you have a penchant for experimentation, G.😙❤

Gaelforce
>>9572342

Hello Emmanuelle ❤️❤️ Awwww! Thank ya Happy weekend dearie ❤️❤️

Gaelforce

Besos back atya Raquel ❤️❤️❤️ Happy Friday

Gaelforce
>>9572353

Yay! Yeah, I like to try different things ... you never know what me come of them! ❤️❤️❤️

John Christian Ambion

Please make the Lady Killer more erotic, but please, NO COMEDY!

Anonymous

Silly and sexy. Here for it.

Anonymous
>>9572607

Some of Gael's audios are MEANT TO BE COMEDY!! This is one of them. I think it's hilarious and like it the way it is. Think how boring it would be if they were all the same.

Kiara. B

This is FUCKING so funny XD

Anonymous

Absolutely hilarious 🤣 ‘escort G’ is such a walnut and I absolutely adore it! 🥜 I was hoping for an update yesterday because it was my ‘day of birthing’ as my family put it, but as I was still awake at 6am I’m counting this as a gift!! 🎁

Gaelforce

Oh haha I forgot about that 😜😜😂

Anonymous

I kinda love it when you experiment around and record your audios with a mixed content. This killer piece is the best proof. Vale likey likey it so much💝

Anonymous

Oh my fucking god. Baby escort is hilarious! Good one Gael!

Anonymous
>>9573670

Also this is the most patient woman in the world 😂

John Christian Ambion

Gael, please. Do the Lady Killer again, but NO COMEDY, please!

Anonymous
>>9573800

John, we have all heard you, Gael too. He might not make it again, but at least give him time if he plans on it. He works hard, not to mention a lot, so please, check your repeat button, it's stuck...

Anonymous

I had to go back a listen again...this made my day...you are so cute in this!!! "there..there"????!!! I see the drunk boyfriend audio ppl want you to do having comedy like this..for the beginning at least..😜😜😘😘

Anonymous

That ass cramp! Oh my god hahahahaha! This one's like a mixture of Gael and Seanie. 😂😂😂 What an adorable character especially at 2:26~2:44, when he commented about the house and the plant, I wanted to hug him. The way he said it was just too cute and innocent. 😄

Anonymous

Where's the medal for this brave guy???🥇 Oh my, I laughed big time! There were so many great lines, seriously your sense of humor is gold. That last sentence was the real Lady killer, the way you put that energy full of innocence and excitement was beautiful. Well done Mister, fantastic audio! 💚👏👏👏

Anonymous

well done!!! I found several times where I just wanted to make sure he was okay and calm him down a bit 😂😂 and that spring sound effect had me giggling !!! loved the ending ☺️💙

Anonymous

A perfect start to a Friday morning!! Absolutely LOVE this G! 💋

Anonymous

12:27 - BOING! 🤣🤣 Gael...you are a genius!! This was adorable, sexy, and funny as...oh my god, it was hilarious 😄 You were so innocence when you spoke ('Don John'...pffft! 😂), and the funny bits were all spot on! I felt so bad for laughing when you got those cramps 😆 And the ending was so sweet 😊 Please, keep experimenting! This was great!

Anonymous

😂😂😂😂 G...hats off to ya. This was sexy and hilarious! Gotta love a man that tries hard and takes instruction well. My funny bone is thoroughly tickled and my lady parts are causing a ruckus...making all kinds of mating calls!😍😈

Ludmilita

This makes me want to hire a male escort, but they don't exist in my country 😖

Anonymous

Needed a good laugh today 😂I really enjoyed this & it was sexy as well ❤️

Anonymous

This goes to show people shouldn't be so nervous. You can totally mess up and still be adorable and sexy. I'm glad it was funny. From the title I was expecting a creepy serial killer.

Catherine

Could you not hold this together as Seanie? 😂😂 He's a hustler, plus the thought of him in this sitch is bringing tears to my eyes. SO much cringe. I mean, this was funny too. 👍🏽

Anonymous

DEAD. I AM DEAD. CAUSE OF DEATH: THAT GLORIOUS FUCKEN 'BOIIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!' NOISE

Gillian Cann

Loved the bit where you needed a GPS to find her clit! 😂 😂

Anonymous
>>9581426

Ok now I've recovered a bit! Sweet mother of damn Gael that was adorably funny. 'Don John' had me legitimately cackling. Also I genuinely have a mighty need for you shouting 'FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK!!' as a text alert notification now 😂

Anonymous

<b>⚠️ Warning: Imminent wall of text!</b> ☝️😯<br><br><i>(But do you really expect any less from me? 😋)</i> <img height="180" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/109/264113001_f1ed3fb11e_m.jpg"> Oh geez, you guys, this audio makes my heart smile 🤗 It’s hilarious, yes, but what I also love about this audio is how it does a good job of “keeping it real”. Of course the premise itself - winding up with a bumbling but good-natured male escort - is delightfully zany. But the portrayal of foreplay and sex is realistic in that it calls attention (in a fun way) to the comedy of errors often known as human sexual experience 🤔 This might be TMI, but just like Ladykiller, I’ve encountered the following challenges whilst engaging in sexytimes: - Difficulty with putting on condoms (but come on, they’re slippery as hell 😝) - My past SO not being able to locate the sweet spot (although this improved a bit after I got my VCH piercing, since it basically acts like a signpost 😆) - When he did find the sweet spot, sometimes he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it - Huge discrepancy in the timing of orgasms (him being premature, me just never getting there at all) - Muscle cramps, pins &amp; needles - Other awkward miscellaneous stuff: stomachs growling, having to pass wind (eh, it’s a normal bodily function), one of our cats suddenly jumping up onto the bed to be a furry little voyeur, him almost dropping me when he had me up against the wall, etc. Initially I was mortified whenever any of the above gaffes happened on my account. My past SO also seemed equally as embarrassed whenever he bungled something up. But as we got more and more comfortable with each other, we went from embarrassment accompanied with profuse apologizing to seeing who could keep a straight face the longest before we both burst out laughing. The reality of it is that sex isn’t perfect, but there’s no reason why it can’t filled with laughter and lightheartedness😋 I’d say most of us know that what we see in visual porn isn’t really grounded in reality - no one’s hair and makeup stay pristine while fucking, you’re almost guaranteed to end up a sweating, panting mess, and you and your partner will probably do something cringeworthy like accidentally bang your heads together at some point. But oftentimes I think erotic audios can portray sex through the same unrealistic rose-coloured glasses. I know that that’s kind of the idea of it - audios portray fantasies, so why wouldn’t you want the character of Gael to come across as “the perfect man”? Why wouldn’t you want to hear an audio where you’re pampered by a total gentleman, or you have the best sexcapade of your life complete with mind-blowing orgasm? Real life is messy and perplexing enough as it is, so why wouldn’t you want to keep the audio world of fantasy absolutely perfect? My own personal answer to those questions is that it can potentially make audios hard to relate to. I suppose one example would be how the vast majority of Gael’s erotic audios feature the listener’s character inevitably having an amazing orgasm. Sure, this might make the scenario sexier, but at times it can make me feel detached from and almost disgruntled with the audio because that’s something that I actually struggle with a bit IRL. And then when I read the comments section about how explosively some people got off to the audio, I sometimes feel even more disillusioned and confused about why I can’t seem to make things work for myself. (But I ultimately do know that it’s important not to compare oneself to others in this regard, and that I’m not the only one in this particular boat) So to actually hear an audio that not only highlights how awkward and bumbling sex can be, but also takes a light-hearted, <i>“It’s totally okay, we’ve all been there, there’s no shame in laughing it off!”</i> approach...well, it made me feel good. It made me feel less like a fish out of water, and it gave me something that I could really relate to. Ladykiller’s approach to the scenario also melted my heart. He’s nervous as hell (which most of us are at some point), but he’s able to laugh off his blunders. His sexual prowess is a bit lacking, but he seems genuinely interested in the listener’s character and enthusiastic about wanting to please her. And the idea of being with someone who actually cares about me as a person, and who I feel so comfortable and safe with that I can share my vulnerabilities and chuckle off my insecurities without fear of judgement...well, I’d say that’s <i>my</i> greatest sexual fantasy of all 😏 <b>tl;dr</b> - I adore this audio and if it’s something you’re keen on doing, Gael, I’d love to hear more along this vein. Thanks for trying something different 🙂👍

Anonymous
>>9582582

As usual I enjoy reading your "wall of text", have a good weekend.💖

Anonymous
>>9580014

This was already hilarious. If it were Seanie I'd never be able to catch my breath in between laughs.....OMG....the thought of it.😂😂😂😂😂

Anonymous

Fuckity Fuckity Fuck... sounds like a nursery rhyme 😂 #TeamNervous #Boooinggg #GPS Hahaha, I can relate to that cramp thing. It ruined my moment when I about to reach O+, I felt sharp pain in my right leg. It's a frustration! Arrrggh if only I can book you right now Escort G but I'm too far away 😂😭

Anonymous

Loved this one, G! I missed your comedy!!

Anonymous

*knock knock knock* "Hi there—I'm the guy you ordered." I'm already laughing.

Anonymous
>>9587021

I think Doc already said 90% of what I would've said, so I'll just tack on my addenda here: This was goddamned adorable, and I laughed through the whole thing. With no practical experience, it's not like I can exactly relate to what's going on, but I can imagine it, and it's more tractable for me since my motor doesn't rev the way others' do. It's far easier for me to picture myself laughing and bumbling my way through such an encounter than to picture myself alongside (or on top of...or underneath...) some smoldering hunk of...man, I guess. For reference, I was actually talking back to this audio, which I'm not so sure I've ever done with an erotic audio. (Some of the boyfriend-RP audios, sure, but I'm usually being a self-deprecating smartass in those.) "I like that plant. What kind of plant is it?" <i>"...It's a Christmas tree."</i> (No, I still haven't taken down my artificial tree. I'm lazy and it's pretty and there's technically still a present underneath it. Therefore Christmas is not over yet.) "Did you see where it went?...No, I didn't bring another one..." <i>"You're a male escort and you only brought ONE condom? Oh, honey..."</i> (Which led me to hope that the listener character's stash is one of those multipacks with the different sizes, because one never knows, does one?) This was more realistic in a good way, and I'm sure my downstairs neighbors think I'm a nut for laughing with no audible stimulus, but I enjoyed it so much. Finally, I can be an awkward turtle without being alone in the room. (P.S.: Multiplication tables during sex? Boy, I will never ask you to stop doing that. Because my type of dirty talk would probably involve total time derivatives and universal constants. <i>"Yeah, baby—dee dee tee dee ell dee cue dot jay equals dee ell dee cue jay."</i> A thousand internet points to anyone who knows which fundamental physics formula I just recited. It's one I never use anymore, but it's a powerful one.)

Anonymous

Couldn't. Stop. Laughing. 😂😂😂 Once again, exactly what I needed today.

Anonymous

249 comments! do i need to add more! i love it its super super cute and the realistic struggles during sex is so cute! please do more roleplay with this strong story flow its fun to listen to❤️ very excellently done

Anonymous

This. Was. So. CUUUUUUTE!! I enjoyed ALL the things! From the onset it was refreshing! I had no idea where this was going. From the first "fuckity-fucks" My mind could not set itself on a familiar tangent. I was seriously like "The hell...you hurt your ankle????? How the hell are you gonna...oh kissing...well..." Then it progressed I wanted to pick up the DVD case, flip it, and check the synopsis...AND rating...then I remembered..oh yeah..audio. There were moments where I just busted out laughing (I mean loud! Luckily for me I was outside). There were other times when I cringed a bit for our "green" guy (reminded me of someone...you know who...) I'm thinking "Why Would You Tell Her That?....or THAT!!!????" The "Boi-oi-oi-oing" of the condom? Eyes spring wide open! Jaw drop! Sharp intake of breath...then Laughed My ASS Off!!! The ass cramp!!!! (Hand over mouth cracking up!!!) The nervous innocent newbie sex was realistic and adorable!!! Oh Gael! You, my sweet, are an incredibly, multi-faceted, tremendously, exceptional entertainer!! Bravisimo, Gael! My hat's off to you!!! Truly splendid!!!! Smooches!!!

Gaelforce
>>9579287

Hi Ludmila It's a good thing they exist in audio-land huh? Haha! Happy Saturday ❤️😜❤️

Gaelforce
>>9579937

Hahaha! Creepy serial killer is seanie's department 😜😜😜 Happy Saturday Emalane ❤️

Gaelforce
>>9581450

Hahaha! I bet there's an invention there somewhere haha! Hello Gillian ❤️

Monique Rutledge

I actually enjoyed this, Gael! It's 2:16 in the morning here in New York. And, everyone else is in bed, so I had to catch myself, because I kept laughing very loudly. Very good job with your comedic timing. I look forward to you doing more, in the not so distant future. :0)

Gaelforce
>>9589526

Heya Elaine Lol! And he's kinda vain as-well: Oh it's the squats baby! I like to keep my butt tight! But fuck! That last set annihilated my gluteus maximus ' Bahahaha Xd

Gaelforce
>>9590875

Hello New York!! Yay! I love that you laughed along Monique! Happy Saturday, Saturday So good they named it twice

Anonymous

I wonder... has any of you experiences with a real callboy? And how much do they charge for a kinky night?... :)

Kara

Gael, thank you. This was totally something I needed. I loved the humor, but what I really loved is the vulnerability. It made it very sweet, sexy, and of course, made me smile.

Anonymous

As I type this, the number of likes is 87. The timing is very interesting. And the title....I mean, I knew it was coming, but...Seigneur. Not prepared to disclose exactly why this stands out to me (yet?), but sometimes I think The Man is talking to people I know. Either that, or he's the ⛧ Bringer of Light ⋔ and probably has something that's mine. ;) One of these possibilities scares me and it ain't the latter! :P All brat aside, though, I'm mildly creeped and largely thrilled in more ways than one. I think I may have enough "safe time" before I'm (almost literally) kidnapped for the day, LOL. Merci beaucoup! Je me sens comme une fillette plutôt fébrile......what a feeling! Will soon add to the endeared reception. Amused by a bit of quivering. Don't think it's the coffee. XD

Izzy♡

Had me in stitches as soon as I heard: "Hello. I'm the man you ordered." Loved this audio! Smiles all around~♡💋

Anonymous

Quick minutes-into update: Everyone knows the best time to laugh like a hyena is when all windows are open (*Cable Guy voice* this [Canadian] winter is remarkably mild)! Pretty sure I'm actually 12.

Laura

I finally listened. This was soooo cute!! Yes, it was funny, but I found it more endearing than anything. So, so sweet. And just as an aside, those finger kisses were 😳🔥🔥 I would definitely give him another call. 😉

Anonymous

wow! not what i was expecting! funny... glad i had the warning though. i have to confess... i prefer alpha confident Gael💪🏻 for doin the dirty... and funny for banter and bedtime stories❤️ well this chick is headed outside for some vitamin d... its a 62’ heatwave here in Oz!!

Anonymous

This was truly awesome😂😂😂😂Absolutely LOVED it ! How you managed to mix erotica/sexiness/cuteness and comedy is priceless❤❤❤ Had me crying of laughter damnit😂😂Nothing much to #chillax and enjoy your day/weekend like 💋! And Omg That Cramp! "Can you reach down and massage my Ass?" NO WAY! HE DIDN'T 😂! Are you kidding me 😂? I wasn't expecting this😂😂👌🏽👌🏽! I look foward to more of these kind of audios ... It was Excellent G! Très bien👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Superbe audio Love your creative mind 💛💛💛!!

Jasmine sanfi

No way,this was so cute and funny and sexy at the same time.Good job Gael!!you are taltented for real!I am really speechless,you always succeed.Thank you so much for all this crazy funny and entertaining content.

Gaelforce
>>9594455

Yay! Thank you Kara! I'll have to bring our guy back in some form ❤️❤️❤️ Have a sexy Sunday ❤️

Gaelforce
>>9597243

Haha! Nothing like just letting your freak flag down and laughing your head off! Happy Sunday giddy Chantelle 😜❤️

Gaelforce
>>9600645

Haha! The lady killer is ready for another date Laura! And you liked his 'Don John' approach huh?' Xd Happy Sunday ❤️

Anonymous

Late night birthday review. —TMI WARNING, not particularly graphic this time; just maybe unnecessarily long and personal— I see I still suck at cell phones. Always doing something I don't mean to with that fudging "intuitive" tech, including deleting shit, so I may or may not repeat some of what I've already posted earlier. Whether or not I'm laughing or coming at all, something about a man being "too close to the edge" reaaaally pushes me to make it worse for him (so FUCKING HOT) and I'm sure I'm not alone. So in my head, this went a few different ways simultaneously. All pretty fun in my opinion! :P Now that this is out of the way, quick jump into (very real) creep factors: 1) Someone DID knock sometime after midnight and I ignored it (couldn't find my clothes in the dark quickly enough and didn't want to turn the lights on because I've yet to install blinds or curtains. I simply don't want them). 2) I have a huge A/C almost right in front of the door because I was expecting to sell it in the last few days, so I immediately thought of that when my lovely guest first got hurt. Then I laughed. And got a little suspicious. 3) Posted minutes before I turned 31, noticed it when it had already been 'liked' 87 times....1987. Very funny! 4) Title was a killshot because I've been an accidental algophilist and hybristophile since the very first few years of my life. No joke. Don't ask, I have no idea. Maybe something about a lifelong natural penchant for violent movies intertwined with a premature sexual development. This is largely conceptual in nature. I am a loner but not antisocial. Random comments: - That's a dill plant, believe it or not. I like to grow a bunch of shit by my windows. Including hard-ons if I can help it, but that's unfortunately a rare occurrence because I can't seem to be able to fully enjoy one-nights despite my supernatural sex drive and the whole friends-with-benefits thing is PERFECT IN CONCEPT, but not so cool when it changes the whole dynamic of a friendship. Plus I'm not one for long-term relationships just for the sake of having sex or not being alone. That pretty much leaves near-compulsive onanism for people like me. - "Real" woman. Why yes, I'm very, very real. So is every possible version of you and so are porn stars, actually, except they rehearse a whole fucking lot. I feel sorry for people who expect so-called "perfection" in anything, especially a rigid, reductive, unrealistic or even boring sort of perfect. Particularly when it comes to sex. But I wouldn't go as far as to say that The Man is selling a completely unrealistic dream. For one thing, I believe it's impossible to pretend to be witty, funny, Alpha, sweet, or anything that you're not, really, without being quickly unveiled. You also can't pretend to be good at pillow talk. You can't describe or enact things so well without having experienced them in some way or another. That being said, I don't believe in sticking to any given role or side of oneself as some sort of limited, self-imposed "guideline" to conform to any given concept as if it were absolutely exclusive. - I am incredibly fucking turned on by unabashed displays of raw authenticity, whatever shape it takes. - Magazines aside, (did you say, "Men's Health"? LOL) I love Indian food and spanking. Unrelated, I know. But that doesn't mean they can't fit together. One of the best lessons I've learned in my life so far is that you can make almost anything work if you really want it to. And almost anything you can imagine (see in your mind's eye) is real. Straight up. I love this side of The Man. I've yet to find anything I don't like. I don't mean this like it's a standard, an expectation or some type of Pollyanna. I just like many different things and I've been rather radical in my life with abandoning certain paradigms, such as the concept that I must choose one side over another and adapt in order not to feel abnormal. At this point in my life, rather than focusing on what's "good", "bad", "right" or "wrong", "normal/abnormal", I prefer to focus on what works and what doesn't. And a lot of things which don't seem to fit at first glance are a perfect example of complementarity to me. And my brain is switching off, so I'm going to quit right about here. The main idea was to express why I enjoyed this. And I really did. I'd feel comfortable with a guy like that in my house. I'd open up to him, play video games with him, watch movies with him and blow him like I mean it. And I love, love, love to laugh. Some come and cry. I can laugh and be aroused. Among many other things. Such is the beauty and spice of life. To me. Thank you Gaelforce for consistently meeting me so well on so many levels. We love you. All of you. So do feel comfortable to keep sharing more of (any side of) yourself. I'm a little tipsy cos I don't really drink. I also think I may love (the concept of?) you a little. Not in a possessive, self-deceptive way. More like in a, "I really dig what you are in this lifetime, how neat it is that we exist in the same reality and how lucky I am to have stumbled upon your brand of expression of my favorite energy in the whole, wide world." Merci encore et bonne nuit. PS: I don't fully remember what my deleted comment was about, but I think I was a little stunned by the co-incidences (deliberate misspelling). "Sometimes I think he's either talking to people I know or the Bringer of Light Himself, who most likely has something that's mine!"

Gaelforce
>>9600653

Oh my! My family are there at the moment and they said it's crazy hot! Whao! Keep hydrated Amy! Have a noice Sunday evening ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Gaelforce
>>9600849

Hehehe! Thank you Noemie! You gotta have a long stretch to get to those hard to reach areas for our boy! And anything can happen ❤️❤️ The next date is gonna be a complete disaster I can sense it 😂😂 Xd

Gaelforce
>>9606570

Hi Jasmine Awww thank you for your kind words! Have a nice day today sweetie Xd

Anonymous
>>9607387

Ah, almost forgot: TLDR — First time I wasn't pissed that someone messed up my order. Or knocked at the wrong door. Just kidding. *Smirk* Edit x2: I did see like a dozen Don Juan movies, but not Don Jon (2013), if that's what he meant. Might give it a try. Alright, this girl needs horizontal. Bon dimanche à tous.

Anonymous

How is it you can be the perfect combination of total fucking sex God and so very sweet, adorable and totally hilarious. You're one in a million and I could listen to you forever. Who the hell needs sleep anyway. You're very talented!

Anonymous

Fuckety fuckety fuck!! Ha

Anonymous

I absolutely ADORE this audio. It just felt so... natural? I think that’s the word I’m looking for. It was so within reality that I was absolutely in stitches, and incredibly turned on at the same time. The BEST combination to be, and you’re a master of both! The “BOOOING” sound effect about killed me, and I was ready to hop out of bed and help the poor bastard look for it. Thank goodness there was extra. By far my favorite thing about you is how genuine you make these audios sound! Amazing job, honey. Thank you for creating and sharing!

Anonymous

I once wrote my friend a haiku and the last line was "Please massage my ass" so that made me laugh really hard

Anonymous

This was so nice and fun on so many levels! Thank you for much needed laughter ❤️

Anonymous

This was so fun And cute! I really enjoyed it. This by far is one of my favorites! Thank you Gael!

Anonymous

Daamn i love this kind of audios, funny and sexy at the same time, reminded me of my first time, #cramp, #GPS, #toofast. I laughed soo much ! Thank you :D

Anonymous

I loved it! It's a wonderful mix and so real XD. I'm speechless. Thank you very much! 🍀❤

Anonymous

Hahahahaha Never miss the typical "thank you" at the end, from the guys without experience XD

Anonymous

Such gentle humor. So human.

Lucy

MAKE THIS A SERIES

Anonymous

😂😂😂i am become death, the destroyer of minds😂😂😂

Anonymous

Aka, im dead rn😂😝

Anonymous

GAEL!!!!! You can't do that to me! I literally laughed out very loud in a super quiet office... I was crying and red from laughing 😂😂😂😂