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Industrious - Chapter 40 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-06-01 01:52:27
Imported:
2023-06

Content

Literally nothing I've ever worked on has fought me as hard as this chapter, but it's done.  It's not perfect, and I think I might go back and revise some things, but it's done.

I'm gong to go take something for the headache finishing this off gave me, then I'll get started on my SAO quest update.

I know that a lot of people are bummed that Industrious will be going on hiatus starting tomorrow, but I think the difficulty I had with this shows the necessity of it.  If I don't take a break from writing Industrious, I'm seriously going to burn out here.

I still have an idea or two for some sidestories you might see in the coming weeks to tide people over until July, but they'll be unscheduled bonus content.

Hope everyone is having a decent week, thank you all again for your support and patience.


Edit: Also, the poll for June will be up tomorrow.

Files

Industrious 31-40

Chapter 31: Satsuki watched as Yakumo and I prepared another series of canvases and metal frames for the tertiary testing of a new gate. While the project had been officially taken over by a group from ANBU's research and development division, the body language that the masked individuals had g...

Comments

Vanathor

Going on a hiatus during a cliff hanger. Seriously?

Slayer Anderson
>>109740065

This is definitely not a cliffhanger. As the latest chapter indicates, the arc was resolved and they're out of the illusion. If what happens at the end isn't sufficiently clear, I *can* clarify it. Do you think that would help?

Guilherme Bezerra

It is not exactly a cliff. The Arc and its plot has been resolved more or less. Frankly the clone felt more like the setup for another fic down the line. I don't think it is going to come over again in this writing. I am more amused that Kota got himself a daughter and hasn't even gotten his harem fully ready yet. I think he is going to have a mental breakdown at this rate though.

Johny5

Even after countless statements to the contrary, Satsuki still wanted him to be a shinobi at her side. They're going to have a conversation about this, aren't they? There are some things Satsuki really has to let go of. I assume Kokoro wishes to really be 'born' would be the promise?

Zerak

That felt like a setup for a spin-off.

Aesh

I also think the clone thing was kind of jarring from a readers perspective. It doesn't seem to add anything, unless you plan to make this some type of crossover fic down the line.

pomegranate horsie
>>109740065

I didn’t think it was a cliffhanger, what part of this arc do you feel is still unresolved that shouldn’t be?

Zerak
>>109745624

It does actually add one thing. It shows us how his clones would act if separated from him for a long enough time.

Slayer Anderson
>>109745624

I'll consider changing things, but one of the side-stories/spin-offs I have an idea for is indeed a crossover.

Acrimonius

This chapter seemed too close to the “metaphysical is important” genre. It leaves us with a lot of questions and no answers, or only gives ones that require a very specific cultural knowledge to interpret. Not a good idea for a story if it doesn’t occur in the main medium.

xPYROTECHx
>>109740065

It still feels like it’s missing a wrap up to the conclusion. Something like a Hiruzen POV of getting a debriefing from the MC of what actually happened, or maybe a POV of Yakumo now being able to hear her new chakra daughter and being there for the debriefing. This arc felt very disjointed and unclear imo.

Slayer Anderson
>>109740065

I’ll consider this and might make a few changes or elongate a part. Upon further review, I think it does need something more, I’m just not sure what. Another good reason for a hiatus, though.

ZloGlaZ

So, did his clone has 10 years of knowledge accumulated?