We Are Absolutely Thrilled to Inform You That Your Application for the Position of Tea Slave No. 14 With the Empire Has Been Accepted – Congratulations! (Patreon)

Dear [Applicant],

Congratulations! Your application for the position of Tea Slave No. 14 with the Empire has been accepted – Lady Sith is eagerly anticipating meeting you, and by "eagerly anticipating" we mean "she's already sharpening her lightsaber, just in case."

As Tea Slave No. 14, you will be responsible for making tea, serving tea, and potentially even drinking tea (if you're lucky). Your tea-making skills will be put to the test, as Lady Sith demands nothing but the best (and has been known to execute Tea Slaves for less).

On your first day, you can expect to be fitted with a shock collar (for security purposes), issued your tea set, and given a brief overview of your duties (which, let's face it, will mostly consist of trying not to spill anything and avoiding eye contact with Lady Sith).

We hope you're excited to join the Empire's illustrious team of Tea Slaves, and we look forward to exploiting your fear and trembling for our own entertainment. Remember, any attempts to poison the tea, spill it on Lady Sith, or forget to ask her how she takes her tea will be met with swift and brutal punishment (which will probably involve being thrown into a Rancor pit).

Sincerely,

[HR Department]