Waddle We Do Next? Unveiling Operation 'Duck and Cover' (Patreon)
Content
[Encrypted Communique: Operation 'Duck and Cover']
To: Agent Featherlock
From: Orchid Audio
Subject: Mission Briefing – 8 November, 20:00 GMT
Priority: Utterly Quackers
Agent Featherlock,
Brace yourself for a mission that will plunge you into the very eye of the pond-storm. Your next foray, Operation 'Duck and Cover', will test the limits of your clandestine fowl-play and espionage expertise.
Objective: Penetrate the digital bird sanctuary known as the livestream on the 8th of November at exactly 20:00 GMT. Your mission: to gather intelligence without stirring the proverbial duck soup.
Codename: You will operate under the enigmatic alias “Puddle Jumper.”
Equipment:
- 'Ducktor' Gadget's Web-footed Wetsuit: Equipped with hidden pockets for all your spy accoutrements.
- The 'BeakSpeak' Translator: Converts duck dialects into discernible directives (includes the latest in drake slang).
- Infrared Pond Goggles: For those moments when you need to see through murky waters, both literally and metaphorically.
Location: A virtual marshland where only the craftiest of agents dare to tread. Precise GPS data will be etched onto a grain of wild rice and left at your dead drop—consume after memorising.
Mission Parameters:
- Submerge into the livestream like a covert cormorant. Maintain a low profile, blending with the digital ducks and drakes.
- Await the signal phrase: “The goose is getting fat.” Upon hearing this, prepare to initiate phase two of the intel acquisition.
- Be on high alert for the cameo of our informant, codenamed “Mother Goose,” who will appear to be arguing about the migratory patterns of the lesser spotted teal.
Caution: Double agents possibly posing as duck aficionados may flood the chat. They are known as 'The Quacksperts' and are masters of misinformation. Their riddles are a labyrinth of lunacy.
Extraction: Following mission completion, feign a technical glitch and disconnect immediately. Proceed to debrief in a bubble bath to ensure no digital breadcrumbs lead back to your nest.
Mission Addendum – Feathered Frenzy Protocol: In the event of an unanticipated flap, initiate the 'Rubber Ducky Distraction Technique'. Deploy an armada of rubber duckies with integrated foghorns to baffle and bemuse any adversary.
Acknowledgment: Confirm receipt and understanding of this briefing with the countersign: “All my ducks are in a row.” Upon this reply, we shall know you are ready to take the plunge.
May your reflexes be swift as a hawk's and your movements as baffling as a game of duck-duck-goose in zero gravity.
End of Briefing
Orchid Audio – Signed, Sealed, and Soon to be Delivered
This briefing will vanish faster than breadcrumbs at a swan soirée. Prepare to burn after reading—or at least pretend to, for dramatic effect.
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