What Defines Us - Chapter 30 (Patreon)

The moon rose and set, just like the sun.  It waxed and waned, just like the sun. But somehow the sun got all the glory!  How did that happen? Nights would be really dark without the moon. Well, days would also be really dark without the sun...but they played the same roles, only for different times of the day.

Basically, the moon was way underrated.  Maybe Ruby was biased - she probably was - but the moon was way better than the sun.  For one, she could look directly at it without destroying her eyes.  It didn’t burn when it was too hot outside. And its presence was reassuring, especially when she was outside by herself like this morning.  

No matter how early it was and no matter how few people were awake, it was impossible to feel lonely when the moon shone down on her - lighting the yard in a soft blue glow.  

Maybe the rest of the world was still asleep, but she was awake.  The moon was awake with her. And Crescent Rose...Crescent Rose was definitely awake.  Her weapon sliced through the air, following intricate patterns hardly visible to the untrained observer.  At least, they shouldn’t be visible if Ruby was moving fast enough.

Left, right, left, right, cycle, jab, pull.  Repeat.

With every swipe came a soft shing as Crescent Rose cut through the morning air.  The sound was joined by her deep breathing, inhales and exhales forcing through her lungs while her mind demanded more and more from her body.

Dark clouds were rolling in from the south, but the moon was still crisp and bright on its way towards the horizon.  It looked like a storm was brewing - a good explanation for the chilly breezes blowing through the backyard - but she should be done before the rain hit.

Left, right, spin, kick, repeat.

Last night hadn’t been so great in the sleep department.  Between nightmares, she’d gotten maybe a couple of hours of restless rolling around while trying to get comfortable - which, for some reason, had been impossible to do.  Instead of lying in bed and trying to sleep when she knew she wouldn’t be able to, she got up and headed outside to train. 

She didn’t have a watch on, so she didn’t know how long ago that had been.  An hour? Maybe two? All she knew was that she’d been outside long enough that the morning dew had soaked through the edges of her boots and drenched her socks.  Wet socks were never fun, but sometimes being a huntress meant uncomfortable situations and damp clothing.

Gripping Crescent Rose harder in both hands, she spun herself around and swung downward - nearly putting the tip of the weapon into the ground before straining to pull up and turn right.  On the next repetition, her brain wanted to ease up to conserve energy, but she forced herself to swing at full speed anyway. There’d be no slacking off today. If she was going to get better, she had to train at 100%.  She had to go through every motion as if she was actually in the midst of battle.

But the weapon had grown heavier.  And there was a dull ache in her left hand whenever she tried to squeeze too hard.  It felt like her bones were older. Well, they literally were older, but she could really feel it when she tried to swing Crescent Rose with the force she used to.  Things just didn’t work like they once had.  

It was a process though.  ‘Vale wasn’t built in a day,’ as Yang would say.

Moving on to the next pattern, Ruby swung left and right in rapid succession, trying to make the movements blend together.  There shouldn't be a beginning or an end to either - each should smoothly disappear into the next. Fluid. If she was fast enough, it should look kind of like a sideways eight - the symbol for eternity.

Once upon a time, she’d been able to go through a hundred repetitions of each pattern before moving on.  Not so today…

Flipping to the next exercise, she threw Crescent Rose over her shoulder before struggling to bring the weapon back to her front like a pickaxe about to be slammed to the ground.  It took all of the muscles she had to swing with speed - and muscles she didn’t have to do so without a small hitch appearing in the middle of the weapon’s trajectory.

Gritting her teeth and trying again, the hitch grew more substantial while her stamina rapidly depleted towards zero.  She shouldn’t be this close to empty so soon...how had she already blown through her available strength?

‘Don’t get frustrated,’ Blake’s calm voice reminded her.  ‘Your movements are still stored in there somewhere - it’s only your body that needs the chance to remember.’

That was the most frustrating part though!  Ruby knew how to do this stuff.   And she knew how to do everything perfectly, but none of her limbs would cooperate right now.  All they wanted to do was whine and complain and gripe about the struggle she was putting them through.

And they wanted to make her sweat.  Man, did she sweat from the effort. It had already soaked through her clothes and now provided the added benefit of cooling her off whenever the breeze blew across her.  There were also beads that flipped off the ends of her hair whenever she spun more vigorously. That was a cool effect, right? Sweat spraying off of her - just what everyone wanted to see.

When her left hand slipped off of Crescent Rose, nearly flinging the weapon towards the trees, she finally paused.  Dropping the scythe unceremoniously onto the ground to remove the weight from her tired arms, she focused on steady inhales and exhales to collect her breath and slow her pounding heart.

Thirty seconds.  She’d give herself thirty seconds before starting again.  That was still twice her usual break, so she was being generous.

Huffing for air, she looked up at the moon and wiped the moisture from her brow.  The clouds were crowding in and blocking sections of the moon from view, but she could still see the only part that mattered.  Locking onto that small piece, Ruby felt her heart tighten in her chest as a wave of despair and longing swept through her.

“I’m trying…” she whispered, closing her eyes and wishing that her mom could be there with her.  She might be too big or too old to be picked up anymore, but what she wouldn’t give to be picked up in her mom’s arms and swung around like she was a kid again.

But at least her mom could be with her in spirit...watching over her and sending encouragement from afar while she struggled to regain her feet.

At least she was trying.  That was all she could do right now...and sometimes it felt like that would never be enough - like she needed a miracle instead.  

Thirty seconds up, she gritted her teeth and picked up Crescent Rose with arms that might as well be made of lead.  And Crescent Rose had been upgraded from ‘very heavy weapon’ to ‘the heaviest weapon in all of Remnant.’ If that wasn’t discouraging enough, her left hand was so weak that it wouldn’t fully close anymore.  

That didn’t mean she could stop though.  She had to keep moving forward. What was her other option?  To wallow in self-pity?

That didn’t sound like something she wanted to do today or any day.  Not that Yang would let her do that if she wanted to. The one time she’d tried to give up, her sister sat on top of her and went through the plot of every horrible soap opera in existence until she’d been forced to flee her bed or risk permanent loss of sanity.

Wallowing wasn’t an option, so she needed to press forward.  No matter how painful. No matter how discouraging.

Set feet, position weapon, decide on a pattern, clench fists, swing.  Up, left, spin - again. And again. Ignore the burning muscles. Ignore the strain in her joints that felt a split second from true pain.  Ignore the increasing difficulty and focus on executing every single second flawlessly. Crisp slices, quick turns, seamless transitions.

The moon was disappearing and the sky was filling with clouds, but she soldiered on - struggling as her body fought against her.  The first three patterns were easy. The next three wore on her. And she stopped at eight - when her hands refused to cooperate any longer.

Panting and exhausted, she planted the end of Crescent Rose in the ground and leaned against her weapon for support.  Her legs felt wobbly. Her left hand ached and cramped from the effort of holding onto the grip for so long. Adding insult to injury - her head was starting to throb, like it did whenever she over-exerted herself.

It had never been this hard before…

Looking down at her damaged hand, she frowned while flexing and unflexing her fingers.  

How many years had these injuries set her back?  That workout - the one she hadn’t been able to finish - used to be her warm up.  And she hadn’t even begun using her semblance yet - those moves would really require some hand strength.  Otherwise, she’d be throwing Crescent Rose through the fence again.

Her next breath hitched in her chest as she tried to push her growing frustration away.  It just really sucked to know how to do all these things, yet not be able to do them.  How long would it be before she could work with Crescent Rose and not be in pain afterward?  How long would it be before her hand healed? If it ever did, which she was beginning to think might never happen at all.  How long, how long, how long would it be this way?

Forming her left hand into a loose fist - watching her fingers curl together while a corresponding ache rolled through her arm - she sighed and turned her hand over.

She was fortunate.  It was important to remember that.  She was lucky that she even had a shot at working her way back to what she’d once been.  It was going to be frustrating. It was going to be hard. It was going to be painful, long, exhausting...all of the above...but she was lucky.

When she blinked, two drops of water appeared on the back of her hand.  At first, she thought they might be tears - until more quickly showed up.  Pretty soon, the sky opened up and big drops splashed upon her, hitting her head, back, and shoulders while filling the air with the steady sound of rain falling in sheets across the yard.  

If she hadn’t already called her practice, she would’ve been forced to stop now.  The rain would make it hard to hang onto Crescent Rose, even with the upgraded grip she’d recently added.  Having a fancy grip wouldn’t help much if her hand got too slippery. That’s where hand strength played a huge role in a battle - hand strength she didn’t have.

Using Crescent Rose for balance, she stood there while her clothes, hair, and boots were soaked with water.  Droplets fell from the clumped ends of her hair. Puffing out a big breath, she sprayed the rain away from her face and watched droplets drip from her eyelashes.  Beads of water collected on Crescent Rose - forming for only an instant before rushing down the weapon’s handle and reaching the grass below.

After a hard workout, the cold water was rejuvenating - like it was washing everything away.  Not just the sweat and grime she’d worked up, but also the frustration and disappointment creeping into her mind.  There was no room for either of those feelings when all she could hear was the sound of rain as it hit the grass, the roof, the trees, and her.  Falling in droves, it splashed and splashed and splashed but never caused any damage. 

Closing her eyes and tilting her chin up, she focused on the cold drops of water hitting her face instead of the headache growing behind her eyes.  There was no tension building along her scalp where the stitches had only recently fallen away. There was no pain creeping through her left arm and along the scar that was still a fresh pink.  There were no aches in every other part of her body - overused and under-rested.

None of that was real.  It was just her and the rain...nothing else.

Hearing the soft, rolling rumble of thunder, she opened her eyes.  Wiping a wet sleeve across her equally wet brow, she found that the storm had fully settled in, the moon was gone, and she didn’t have the energy or desire to stay outside any longer.  So, with one big sigh, she picked up her weapon and trudged towards the house. 

It was impossible not to feel disappointed with how little she’d accomplished.  Compared to a few weeks ago, what she’d just done should be life-changing. But as her wounds healed, so too did her expectations of what she should be capable of.  Maybe it wasn’t fair, but the more she felt like Ruby, the more she expected to be able to do the things Ruby had done before.  

Yet, she was slowed at every turn.  And she hated doing things the slow way. Slow was no.

Leaving her wet boots on the porch, she dragged herself inside and dropped Crescent Rose onto the table by the door.  Realizing that she was going to drip water all over the floor, she instead spooled up her semblance and blasted to her room.  

It was supposed to keep the floors dry - which it did - but kind of sprayed the walls with water instead.  Whoops. She’d have to clean that up later. Or just let it dry on its own…

Pulling a fresh set of clothes from the closet, she could just barely make out the sound of voices in the kitchen.  Yang and Blake must be awake now, which meant Ruby had been outside long enough for the day to finally catch up with her.  After taking a shower, she’d go out and join them for breakfast.

There was nothing like a steaming hot shower to work movement back into her stiffening muscles and joints.  It wasn’t until she felt the hot water that she realized how cold it had been outside. She’d definitely needed a little thawing out - and drying out.  

By the time she left the bathroom behind, she was warm and dry except for her hair.  Rubbing a towel vigorously through it, she shook her head and then decided that was good enough for the time being.  At least it wasn’t cold in the house, so having damp hair wouldn’t be a huge issue. Plus, it would dry on its own pretty quick.

Standing in the center of her room wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, she thought about collapsing on her bed and sleeping until the afternoon.  Just look at it...it looked so comfy and warm...and, if she could sleep, maybe her aches and pains would temporarily disappear. Maybe her nightmares would leave her alone this time.  

Freaking nightmares.  On the worst days, her subconscious chased her with scary Grimm or impossible battles that she lost over and over again.  At one point in time, she thought that maybe her dreams held the key to her lost memories - as if they were trying to make it back into her mind while she slept.  

She’d since given up on such foolish ideas, because her dreams were way too crazy to have happened in real life.

The bed was calling out to her - ‘Rubyyy, Rubyyyyy’ - as if it wanted her to finally give up and collapse into the fluffy covers.  It’d be so easy to take a break and give herself some rest. She had already been up for several hours and was pretty exhausted from both the workout and lack of sleep.  She’d probably earned a good nap or two, or twenty.

But she couldn’t go back to sleep yet - the day had only just begun!  Even if she was tired and sore, there was so much she needed to accomplish today.  With her morning practice already out of the way, she planned on reading while allowing her muscles time to heal themselves.  She had stacks and stacks of books on Grimm and battle strategies that Yang had gotten for her. When she was physically exhausted from training, she studied.  When she was mentally exhausted from studying, she trained. 

Basically, she was always exhausted in some way, shape, or form.

Right now she was in the middle of a book on Nevermores - an entire book about one species of Grimm!  And boy were they fascinating. They tended to be solitary creatures, but every once in a while they’d group together and form a giant mass of loud, screeching, deadly Grimm.  No one could figure out the purpose, but if this happened near a settlement...the settlement had to move pronto.

A loud grumble in her stomach told her that she’d dawdled long enough, so she grabbed her study material off the desk and plodded from her room to the kitchen.  The rain was really coming down now, the steady onslaught interspersed with claps of thunder. Without the sun, it was pretty gloomy outside, but the kitchen was well-lit and warm - and smelled fantastic.

“Good morning, Ruby!” Yang called out from the stove.

“Good morning,” Ruby replied, stifling a yawn while she collapsed into a seat at the table and set the book down beside her.  Blake turned around and smiled, but said nothing before returning her gaze to the pan she was currently handling.

“Finally teaching Blake how to make my special pancakes!” Yang explained proudly.  “Gotta pass the torch someday!”

“Hopefully not any day soon,” Blake muttered, frowning into the pan while removing a very well done pancake with the spatula.

“It’s an art, dearest,” Yang replied with a grin, tossing the pancake onto a plate and getting another spoonful of batter ready.   “Here, let me show you again.”

From the table, Ruby watched Yang and Blake work together at the stove.  There were always a couple of inches between the two of them that seemed...fake.  It was a weird feeling, and Ruby didn’t know why she felt it was right, but it made her wonder if that space existed when she wasn’t around.  Were they trying to be considerate? Not that she would mind if they stood closer together - she understood that they were dating and dating people did all that cutesy stuff. 

“How are you feeling?” Yang asked while waiting for the pancakes to cook.  Leaning against the countertop and meeting Ruby’s eyes, Yang somehow made the question seem nonchalant and casual even though she asked every single morning without fail.  Was she recording the answers somewhere to track Ruby’s progress? Could there be a notebook hidden in the house that was filled with notes on how Ruby felt that day?

“I’m ok,” she answered, playing with the fork that had been left near her place setting.  Sometimes she didn’t feel like being more specific than that, but Yang always pressed for more details.  “Little bit of a headache,” she admitted while pulling over a plate of pancakes that had clearly been made by Yang earlier that morning.  “Other than that, ok.”

“What would you rate it?”

“A two,” Ruby answered, grabbing a stack of buttery, fluffy pancakes and setting them in the middle of her plate.  

Nodding at the small number, Yang seemed to mentally catalogue it before turning her attention back to the pan and quickly flipping the pancakes over.  

It hadn’t taken Ruby long to learn that anything over a four would increase Yang’s level of concern, so those values were used very carefully.  Not that it mattered - she’d tell her sister the truth even if she didn’t want to.

After cutting up her pancakes and drowning them in syrup, Ruby took the first delicious bite and made a soft ‘mmm’ sound.  There was nothing like homemade pancakes after a hard morning workout.

“And tada!  See?”

Holding up a perfect pancake - fluffy tan in the center with a slightly browned edge - Yang grinned and flipped it onto a plate, but Blake looked at it with a frown.

“Maybe you should make the rest of them…”

“Naw, come on!  You can’t give up that easily - what lesson would we be teaching Ruby then?”

Yang winked at Ruby before giving Blake a fake serious expression and offering her the spatula.  Playing along, Ruby nodded.

“I’d learn a really bad lesson…” she said as convincingly as possible.  “Like how giving up is the right thing to do and stuff…”

Blake stared at Ruby for a second before sighing and swiping the spatula out of Yang’s hands.

“Remember to wait for the bubbles,” Yang added gently, moving closer to Blake to look over her shoulder at the batter.

Eating another forkful of pancakes, Ruby chewed contently while watching the two at the stove.  Did Blake know that these were the same pancakes Mom had taught Yang to make when she was just a toddler?  That’s what made them ‘special.’

Maybe Ruby should mention how many undercooked pancakes she’d had to eat while Yang was still learning.  That’d probably make Blake feel better!

“Look at those!” Yang called out happily while Blake slid several fresh pancakes out of the pan and then turned off the stove.  “Those look great!”

When Blake carried the plate over and set it down on the table, Ruby looked over at them and nodded.

“Those do look good!”

“You two are just humoring me.”

“Nope!  They’re good!  Gimme all of them,” Yang said, taking the entire plate of Blake-made delicacies and dousing them in syrup.  Blake watched in amusement as Yang started shoveling pancakes into her mouth before reaching out to grab a few off of the other plate.

“If it clears up, do you want to try practicing later?” Blake asked, making only brief eye contact with Ruby before taking a bite to eat.

“Uh, sure, I guess.”  

She was going to be tired, and the last few times hadn’t exactly gone well, but she could always try again.  That was the point of training, right?

When they started doing these mini spars, Blake promised that she’d always fight to 100% of her ability - that way Ruby would know that she was getting Blake’s best, not Blake’s pity.  That was great and all...Ruby appreciated that Blake always tried her hardest...but sometimes getting repeatedly destroyed in under three seconds could be a little crushing. Blake was just...too good.

But no one got better by always winning!  At least, that’s what Ruby was going to tell herself.

“Only if it stops raining,” Blake clarified, making Yang laugh.

“Cuz you know Blake’s not going anywhere in this rain.”

“If I don’t have to go outside in the rain, why would I?” Blake asked in response.

“What if you need to get the mail?  Or go to the grocery store?” 

“That’s what I have you for.”  When Blake batted her eyes, Yang laughed and tossed a piece of pancake across the table - which Blake easily snatched out of the air.

“Fine, I’ll go out in the rain.  But then you’ve gotta do all my safe-cracking and door-unlocking!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.  I don’t know how to do either of those things,” Blake replied with a small smirk.  

“Right, like the White Fang never taught you how to crack a safe,” Yang joked.  “They had you ask nicely for the keycode.” Clasping her hands together, she put on a begging expression.  “Please sir, can’t you give us all your passcodes? We’re only going to rob you a little bit.”

When Yang chuckled, Ruby’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“White Fang?” she asked.  Yang’s eyes widened in shock and Blake’s ears twitched when Ruby looked between the two of them.  “Why would the White Fang teach you something?”

There was a long stretch of uncomfortable silence at the table before Yang finally spoke.

“Damn, I’m sorry…” 

“It’s ok,” Blake said, giving Yang a reassuring smile before turning to Ruby and clearing her throat.   “They’d teach me because...I used to be a member.”

“Of the White Fang??” Ruby asked in shock, looking at Yang for confirmation, but Yang was still watching Blake.  Blake’s ears were slightly flattened when Ruby turned back to her. 

“When?”

“A long time ago…” Blake answered slowly.  “When it was a slightly more peaceful organization.”

“Holy...smokes…” 

That explained why Blake was so good at fighting!  But didn’t that also mean she’d done some...kind of bad stuff?  Like evil-villain type stuff? Ruby didn’t know much about the White Fang, but what she did know wasn’t very good.  They were the group that robbed a lot of places or people and, in general, caused a lot of trouble.  These days a lot of White Fang members seemed to be in prison for the things they’d done.

That didn’t make any sense because Blake was always kind to Ruby and good to Yang.  And she certainly didn’t look very proud about being a member. In fact, she seemed downright remorseful.

If Yang already knew about this and was ok with Blake living here...then it must not matter anymore.  If it was a long time ago, then it was in the past and not worth getting worked up over. Plus, Ruby could’ve been a member of the White Fang too, for all she knew!  Although she was pretty sure they only had Faunus members...but maybe they’d made an exception for her! That’s how evil-villainy she’d been.

“Is that how you met?” she asked, pointing between Yang and Blake and making them glance at each other in confusion.  “Was Yang like...trying to ‘apprehend’ you?” When she giggled at the idea, Blake smiled - a small one, but still a smile.

“No, I left on my own accord,” she said, looking far more relaxed than she’d just been.

“Did they teach you how to crack safes?  Cuz that’s pretty cool!” Ruby added before continuing to eat breakfast like this was nothing more than a regular morning conversation.  Which is kinda was. Blake in the White Fang, Yang losing an arm, Ruby losing her memories - they were prone to super normal conversations. 

“What else did they teach you in White Fang school?” she asked while shoving another piece of pancake in her mouth.

“It...wasn’t really that type of school…” 

“Oh.  Well maybe you can tell me about it sometime!”  Realizing how pushy that sounded, Ruby backpedaled.  “I mean, only if you want to,” she added so that Blake wouldn’t feel any pressure.

“I can do that - if you want to know,” Blake answered, watching carefully as Ruby went back to finishing off her plate.

Blake was in the White Fang!  That was pretty cool. She probably had some awesome stories - like spy-type stories.  Breaking in and entering and stuff. And safe cracking! Maybe she could teach Ruby how to pick a lock?  She’d always wanted to know how to do that.

Visibly relieved, Yang leaned over and kissed Blake on the cheek before standing and rubbing her stomach.

“Your pancakes are so good I can’t finish them.”

“Of course not.  You’re trying to eat like fifteen at once,” Blake replied with an amused expression.

“I’ll have the rest for lunch!” Yang said, carrying her plate over to the counter before walking back and giving Blake another peck between the ears.  “Thanks for breakfast! I’m gonna shower real quick - be right back.”

Left at the table, there were a few moments of silence while Ruby slowly swirled her last bite of pancake around in the syrup on her plate, trying to collect as much as possible.  Popping the sopping-syrupy piece into her mouth, she noticed that Blake had been watching her the entire time.

“What?” she asked curiously.

At first, Blake looked like she was going to shake her head, but she changed her mind at the last second.

“Are you really ok with it?” 

“With what?” 

“With...my past?”

“Oh!  Sure! Why wouldn’t I be?”

Ruby must be answering these questions wrong, because Blake seemed to have difficulty believing the answers.  Even now, her mouth opened and closed several times while searching for words.

“Well, I can think of many reasons.  I’ve done some...not-so-great things...I regret them all now, of course.  Becoming a member was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.”

Setting her fork down with a soft clatter, Ruby shook her head.  

“The past is the past, Blake.  I can’t even remember mine - how could I be upset at you for yours?”

For a solid few seconds, Blake stared across the table - her ears twitching this way and that while she processed what Ruby said.  After those seconds lapsed, she finally tilted her head down in a tiny nod and said, “Thank you, Ruby,” so softly that Ruby almost didn’t catch it.  But she did catch it - and it only made her chuckle.

“It’s like my mom always said - mistakes don’t define you...” 

Smiling, Blake nodded again.

“Your reactions to them do,” she finished.

“You’ve heard that saying before??” Ruby asked in surprise, happy to see that Blake was genuinely smiling again.

“Yang uses it sometimes, too.”

“We might be related after all,” Ruby joked as she stood up to take some of the dishes to the dishwasher.  Following her lead, Blake began putting items away in the fridge and cupboards.

“How did your practice go?” she asked after a few moments, the question startling Ruby out of her thoughts.

“You heard me?  Sorry, I was trying to be quiet -”

“Don’t worry about it.  You’d have to be really quiet for me not to hear you.”

“Yeahhh...guess Yang and I aren’t exactly stealthy…”  

When Blake chuckled, Ruby smiled.  She was still getting used to how good Blake’s hearing was.  It was incredible that Blake could hear her when she was in the garage, or all the way out to the edge of the woods!  

“I guess it went ok,” she answered with a shrug.  “Still more difficult than it should be.”

“It might feel that way for a long time.  It’s important not to rush yourself - you have a long road ahead of you.”

“Yeah...but I like to run down those roads, ya know?”

“You’ll be running again before you know it,” Blake replied, giving Ruby an encouraging smile.  “But first you need to walk.”

Sighing in acceptance of what was probably good advice, Ruby closed the door on the dishwasher and walked back to the table to sink into her seat.  Putting her head in her hands, her body was finally starting to tell her just how tired and sore she was. Hopefully she could recover quickly, otherwise practicing with Blake later today would be a disaster.  

Hearing a soft clink, Ruby looked up to find Blake setting a glass of water and some mild pain relievers on the table in front of her. 

“Thank you,” she said before reaching out to take the pills.  They were baby ones compared to the other options she had, but they’d be enough to ease some of the soreness from her arm and hopefully kick the headache from her head.

With nothing more than a kind smile, Blake went back to drying off the dishes that had stacked up in the sink.  

See?  It was things like that.  How could Blake possibly be a bad person when she always noticed the little moments when Ruby needed a bit of help, no matter what form it should come in?

Absentmindedly playing with the ring around her neck, Ruby glanced down at it while Blake hung up the dishcloth and sat back down at the table.  It was funny how she knew very little about it, but it was still something she turned to when she felt discouraged. It gave her strength in a way she couldn’t explain.

“Do you know who gave this to me?” she asked, letting the ring slide halfway onto her finger before pulling it off again.

“...I do.”

“Will you tell me who it was?”

When Ruby looked up, she saw how much the question had caught Blake off guard - her ears swiveling while her mouth opened and closed several times.

“I...will.  If you want me to.”

The answer surprised Ruby just as much as the question had surprised Blake.  Whenever she asked Yang questions like that, she was always met with an ‘I will, but I don’t want to.’  But Blake seemed more willing to give Ruby a piece of her past. The only question was...did she really want it?  

In some ways, she did.  But those feelings were bundled up with the desire to have all of her memories back - not just singular ones.  

Ultimately, what would knowing the truth accomplish?  What if she said ‘yes,’ and Blake said that it was a gift from Yang?  Or from her dad? Or that she found it at a pawn shop? Or on the street?

What if the answer was that the ring wasn’t special at all?  What if the answer was that it didn’t symbolize anything? Wasn’t it nicer to believe that it was some sort of powerful gift from the beyond versus whatever the real, most likely boring, answer could be?  

When a twinge of pain ran through her arm, she looked down.

"Maybe one day…” she answered slowly.  “Yang's right. I don't know if I can handle that right now."

It was already taking all of her energy to train and rehab her injured muscles.  If she got answers, she’d only have more questions. And with more questions would come more confusion and more and more being added to her plate.  It seemed like an easy way to overload herself...which she was already doing on her own. The last thing she needed was to spiral out of control.

“One day, you’ll understand all of this,” Blake added gently.  “For now, you can focus on getting stronger.”

“Yeah, but -”  

Ruby’s words cut off when she thought about whether or not she wanted to admit this out loud.  It felt pretty personal, but Blake had shared something personal with her, so it was fair to reciprocate.

“But sometimes I think…” she began again, wrinkling her brow while trying to put her feelings into words.  “That like, no matter what I do, I’m going to fail.” Clenching her fist, she looked at the scar running across her wrist.  “Like maybe I’m just wasting my time…”

Ever since she could remember, it had been her goal to follow in her mom’s footsteps and become a huntress.  It used to seem like a foregone conclusion that she’d someday make it, but now...now it felt like her goal had moved further out of reach. 

“What would you do, if not this?” Blake asked, watching Ruby thoughtfully.

Shrugging one shoulder, Ruby sniffed once when emotions started to pop up.  She hated feeling like she was letting her mom down. Or Yang. Or anyone. But it was hard not to feel like she’d failed somehow.

“I dunno…go live in a hole somewhere…” she muttered.  She was only partly serious, but Blake reached across the table and squeezed her hand.

“You can do this, Ruby.”

“I dunno…”

“You can.  And you will.  One day, you’re going to make it, and you’ll know it.  You’ll hear the crowds screaming your name because you’ve just done something they’ve never seen before, and you’ll realize that you’re back.”

“There aren’t many crowds out in the forest though,” Ruby pointed out with a chuckle, the comment making Blake’s ears twitch.

“You’re right...that’d be pretty strange if there were,” Blake replied with a small smile.  “But there will be a moment when it becomes clear that you’ve made it back. It’s going to take hard work and dedication, but I know you have that in you.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because...you just seem like that type of person.”

Looking down at the table, Ruby bit her lip to keep the tears at bay.  She wanted to believe Blake, she really did. But when everything hurt and the small things took so much effort, it was hard to imagine that she’d ever amount to much of anything.

“I’m scared,” she whispered, closing her eyes and feeling a tear slip out.  “I’m scared I’ll never be g-good enough.”

“Oh, Ruby…” Blake said softly, her tone filled with sorrow.  When Ruby risked a glance up, Blake had already slipped out of her chair and was reaching out to pull Ruby into a tight hug.  Burying her face in Blake’s shoulder, Ruby hugged back just as tightly.

“You know,” Blake whispered, rubbing one hand up and down Ruby’s back like Yang always did.  “Whenever I’m feeling down, I like to think about all the ways that I’m lucky.”

“Like what?” Ruby asked, her voice muffled into Blake’s shoulder.

“Like having your sister in my life, for one.  Living with both of you...the two of you accepting me regardless of the mistakes I’ve made…knowing that no matter what happens, I always have somewhere to belong...”

Listening to the calm words of gratitude, Ruby felt her tears slow as the rush of emotions started to fade away.  She was lucky too - and she knew that. Being alive...having a shot at being a huntress, no matter how small...having Yang and Blake’s never-ending love and support...

“Of course you belong somewhere,” she replied, sniffling once before pulling away from Blake’s embrace.  “No matter what - your home is with Yang and me!”

“You have no idea how much that means to me,” Blake whispered, giving Ruby’s shoulder a soft squeeze.  “And I know it’s hard to believe right now, but you will be good enough.  There’s not a single doubt in my mind that you’ll be a huntress again one day - and a great one, at that.”

“Now you’re just humoring me,” Ruby joked, wiping her eyes and attempting a smile.  “But thank you.”

“Anytime, Ruby.”

As Blake stood up, Ruby looked after the girl and realized she felt much better.  She didn’t understand how, but Blake’s advice always...relaxed her, in a way.  Sniffling once, she dried the remainder of her tears and cheered up even more when she realized something.

“Hey!” she said, catching Blake’s attention.  “That was our first hug!” 

“Was it?  I could’ve sworn that was the second...”

Giggling at the answer, Ruby stood up and gave Blake another quick, unexpected hug.

“That was our second!” she said before bouncing away.  

The sadness she’d felt evaporated for the time being - temporarily blasted away by one super strength hug.  If Blake believed in her, and if Yang believed in her, then maybe it was time she started believing in herself.  She could do this. And she would. It was going to hurt all the time, but nothing was ever going to stop her.

“Ok, kiddo!” Yang called out of the hallway before walking into the kitchen.  “You wanna come with me on some errands? We can stop by that parts store you love so much.”

The offer made Ruby grin.  She loved that store, and she could always start studying when they got back.  This would be a nice break that she probably needed.

“What about Blake?” she asked, turning to see if Blake wanted to come too.

“I’m guessing Blake’s not going anywhere in this rain.”

“Until they create an umbrella that doesn’t let water splash all over your feet,” Blake replied.

“Oh!  Maybe I could make that for you!” Ruby said, making Yang laugh while Blake looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Don’t waste your time, Ruby.  She still won’t go.”

“I have a new book I want to read...” Blake admitted.  “So don’t worry about me. You two have fun.”

“We’ll miss you greatly!” Yang replied before pressing a kiss to Blake’s cheek - the quick action causing her to briefly close her eyes and smile before Yang pulled away.  “Whatdya say, Ruby? Coming with?”

“Sure!”

No sooner had Ruby hopped out of her seat did Yang open the closet door and toss a pair of boots out onto the floor.  Practically jumping into her shoes and lacing them just as fast, Ruby was ready before Yang found both of her shoes. She’d found one - which she was holding in one hand while scrounging inside the closet for another.

“You take so longgggg!” Ruby playfully whined.  “Can’t you organize them or something?”

“I’m waiting for you to do that for me!” Yang answered while finally finding the missing shoe and slipping them both on.

When Ruby made a face, Yang threw one arm around her shoulders and led her towards the front door.  Before they stepped outside, Ruby glanced back at Blake - who smiled and dipped her head in acknowledgment.  Grinning in return, Ruby hopped out into the rain and ran to the car. Thanks to her semblance, she was hardly wet when she jumped into the passenger seat beside Yang - who’d been smart enough to use an umbrella.

“I’m glad Blake’s around,” Ruby commented while they buckled themselves in.  The remark made Yang beam at her.

“Yeah?  You’re ok with the whole White Fang thing?”

“That doesn’t matter to me,” Ruby answered with a wave of her hand.  “You know her better than I do. If you know she’s a good person, then I do too!”

Looking towards the house, Yang wore a slightly goofy smile as she said, “She’s more than just a good person.  She’s...incredible...” 

Maybe Ruby didn’t feel quite the same way about Blake as Yang did, but she knew that Blake was special, in some way.  Probably because she was Yang’s girlfriend and of course that made her special. But also because she could make Ruby feel so much better with only a few words and a hug – just like Yang could.

“I’m lucky you’re both around,” she concluded.  Reaching over, Yang rustled her hair before starting the car.

“We’re the lucky ones, Ruby.”