What Defines Us - Commentary - Ch. 29-30 (Patreon)

Have you noticed yet that I’m horrible at introductions?  If you haven’t - I’m horrible at introductions!  That’s why I skip author’s notes on ff.net quite often.  I just don’t know what to say!  Maybe next time I’ll jump right into the commentary without any sort of introduction at all - that might be better...

As a little update on myself, I’ve been working on so many other stories recently that I find myself forgetting where we are in this story.  In the first half of the year, there was Living Fiction, Boundless, a somewhat-secret project you’ll hear about later, and several one shots.  It’s been a busy year so far!  But my somewhat-secret project is somewhat over, now I’m starting a new story - because I don’t like to finish the ones I’ve already started, apparently.  Once I have more of it written, I might share a sneak peak with you guys.  Suffice to say...I’m really excited about it!  (That feeling is subject to change the closer I get to finishing it.)

Ok, but this story.  You’re still invested in this story.  Here I am, trying to rush off to the next story without this one being complete!  We’re only 18 weeks away from wrapping this one up though!  (That number feels simultaneously really close and far away.)

I’m excited because we’re approaching some of my favorite chapters (does that sound familiar at all?).  The Beacon Invite!  I’m just as excited as Ruby - but also as nervous as Weiss.  You’ll understand in a few more weeks. 

There are certain points in this story where I wish we had Blake or Yang’s perspective.  Chapter 29 is one of those times, because I think an outsider would be able to clearly see the feelings and relationship developing between Ruby and Weiss.  From Ruby’s past couple chapters, we’ve seen that she’s figured out some of her feelings, which seems to be impacting her actions quite a lot.  At least, it’s causing her to blush quite a lot!

In writing What Defines Us, I discovered that I’m a relationship-first writer.  What I mean by this is that when I’m coming up with a story, I build the interactions between characters first.  I target specific feelings at specific parts of the story.  Much of the plot (the hunt, Beacon Invite, flashbacks, etc.) is only created to reach those feelings.

In this case, I was drawn to the relationship between Weiss and Ruby - where one of them is still in love with the other, while the other one grows to love that person from scratch.  It created a ‘still in love/falling in love’ scenario that I just couldn’t pass up.

Part of that scenario is that the person who’s been in love all along - Weiss, in this instance - has difficulty believing that they could fall in love again.  That they are falling in love again.  No matter what signals she gets from Ruby, she can’t fully believe that it’s real.  Can you blame her?  This is basically a wish come true.

Of course, that wish has a bit of a dark cloud hanging over it with the Beacon Invite right around the corner.  

How cruel of me to give Weiss more than she would’ve asked for, then present her with a choice to accept those feelings or potentially throw it away for the truth.  But this is how people grow!  Whatever decision she makes, she’ll learn something from it - you can bet on that much.

The beginning of this chapter is basically a long ‘will she/won’t she’ analysis of Weiss’ current feelings.  But enough of that!  (That’s literally what I thought as I brought Yang and Blake outside to spar.)

They could’ve had a regular battle, but I wanted it to be more interesting than that.  I also thought that with Weiss being so out of practice and Ruby still getting used to using Thorn, a regular battle might not go too well.  So I thought...what’s one way to even out a fight?  Handicaps!  

Ruby’s suggestions actually follow my thought process when trying to come up with Bumblebee’s handicap.  My first thought was to take away half of Ember Celica, then I realized that that wouldn’t have any impact on Blake.  But what’s even better?  Bumblebee is probably super touchy-feely (ok, Yang is touchy-feely) so I can take away their ability to touch one another!

Continuing that line of thought, it wasn’t until I started writing the battle that I realized I’d given Blake and Yang a considerable advantage with their handicap on Weiss and Ruby.  However, rather than change it, I decided to roll with it.  That made it more interesting!  Plus, I liked the idea that Blake was secretly outwitting her teammates - that seemed very appropriate for her to do.

Much of this chapter is devoted to their battle.  Have I mentioned how hard it is to write action scenes?  Well, it’s very hard to write action scenes!  There’s so much going on, and if you don’t describe it correctly, no one will understand what you mean.  Or they’ll get the wrong picture.  Also, I know nothing about fighting in real life, so I’m making everything up and hoping it’s somewhat realistic.

Writing - it’s not always accurate, folks!

I do very little research for my stories, too.  Because I’m lazy...and because I like to make up words instead of looking up how things actually work.  

Oh!  Almost forgot to bring this up.  Before they start their battle, Weiss thinks to herself that Yang likes throwing Blake, for whatever reason.  This is a reference back to Chapter 2, when Yang’s talking at the table and suggests a plan that involves throwing Blake over a group of Grimm.  Blake’s response is ‘why do your plans involve throwing me long distances?’  

Because Weiss is also aware of Yang’s propensity to toss her partner, apparently this habit has been around for quite some time.  (We’re going to call it a habit.  I’m not sure if it’s a habit or more like...a hobby.  Flying Faunus hobby.)

When the battle ends in a tie, Yang teases Weiss the same way she teases Blake after Blake lost to Ruby.  I think it’s pretty appropriate.  Blake hates losing.  Weiss hates merely tying.  

In my opinion, one of the most important parts of this chapter happens after Weiss and Ruby say goodnight, when Blake steps into the picture.

I really adore Blake in this story.  She’s just so...supportive.  I like to think that after what she did in the show, she learned her lessons and used that time apart to become a better person for her team.  That’s the version of Blake that I’ve tried to depict here.  

At the end of this chapter, she points out something that no one seems to be thinking about - maybe you haven’t even been thinking about it.  

It’s understandable that all of the emphasis goes to Ruby - who was injured.  And Weiss - who ran away.  And Yang - who nearly lost her sister and then lost her best friend.  So much concern is going to those three that we often forget about the fourth teammate - the one who held them together through the beginning of this story.

Blake also deserves our sympathy.  As she reminds Weiss, she lost two of her best friends that day, and Yang changed because of it.  

Blake has been strong for Ruby and Yang this whole time, while worrying about what Weiss was doing in Atlas - knowing what emotions she might be struggling with.  But Blake doesn’t want Weiss’ apology.  Her purpose at the end of this chapter is to show Weiss that she isn’t alone.  Sure, maybe Blake and Ruby weren’t romantically involved, but Blake went through something similar to what Weiss is going through. 

And she lived to tell the story.

Ok, maybe not that dramatic.  But she does share her experience with Weiss in hopes that it will convince Weiss to tell Ruby the truth.  And then she hits Weiss right in the feels. I think that this little paragraph sums it up pretty perfectly: 

“Believe me, I know all about being ‘fine,’” Blake said quietly, taking a step back towards the house.  “But now that you’re back, we’re going to make sure you really are ‘fine.’  Don’t think you’ll be able to slip away from us again - we’ll come looking for you next time.  And it won’t be just Yang and me.”

Blake understands some of what Weiss went through, and this is her not-so-subtle way of saying that Weiss isn’t running away from her family again.  I think Weiss really needs to hear that right now.

After Chapter 29 ends, I figured it’d be a great time to delay the part of the story everyone wants to see show some of what Blake went through when Ruby was getting back into training.  I also wanted to use Chapter 30 to show just how far Ruby had come - through so, so much determination.

This is another chapter that will probably throw everyone for a loop before they realize that it’s actually in the past.  I think the clues are pretty obvious though!  Ruby doesn’t have Thorn, she’s struggling through her routine, the scar on her wrist is still fresh, and she’s still in pain. 

I’m a bit sad that we didn’t get to see much of Ruby’s journey from injury back to full strength.  We have these little snippets, but we didn’t get to walk that path with her.  It would’ve been a very long story to go through Ruby’s full recovery and then Weiss’ recovery.  And it might have been a little boring though, if this chapter shows us anything!  

Basically, Ruby’s waking up early and training harder than I have for anything in my life.  Then she’s hitting the books to learn all her Grimm knowledge, then she’s going back to training.  Maybe that part of the story is better fit for a training-montage versus being fully written out.

I might have already mentioned, but the original working title for this story was “Eternity.”  Part 4 of the story in my Google Docs is actually still called that (which is why I freak out when I can’t find it sometimes).  That title was connected to Ruby’s ring, which has “eternity” written inside.  There’s another tie-in to that title in this chapter while Ruby’s training.  One of the moves she does is basically swinging Crescent Rose in an endless, sideways figure 8 - the symbol for eternity.

If you haven’t noticed, I love symbolism!

Even with the title change, I kept those parts of the story intact.  I think they still work and add to the greater experience Ruby’s going through.  But...not everything can become the title!

You might’ve noticed, but this chapter isn’t the same Ruby we’re used to.  The effusive energy hasn’t come back to her yet, not when she’s still in pain and uncertain about her path in life.  When I proofread this chapter, I found one pretty simple way to dampen her emotions - I removed most of the exclamation points from the beginning of the chapter.  Voila!  Dampened emotions.

Her emotions weren’t the only thing dampened after standing out in the rain though!

That one was good, right?  I chuckled at it, at least…

Sidenote - while training, Ruby has a thought that she doesn’t want to accidentally throw Crescent Rose through the fence again.  If you remember in the previous chapter, Yang makes a comment about not wanting to fix the fence again, thereby implying that Ruby might’ve broken it several times.  

This is another example of the small links I tried to put between two chapters to keep the story tied together.  You can think of it like a web - the entire story as a big web - and I tried to weave as many connections as possible.  Connect chapter 1 to chapter 2.  Chapter 2 to chapter 3.  But also chapter 1 to chapter 35, chapter 7 to chapter 15, and everywhere in between.  My thinking is that if you create enough connections, the story really comes to life. 

This is one of the reasons I like to write the entire story before posting it.  With the entire story at my fingertips, I can add connections between the earliest and latest chapters to keep everything together.  I can also add references, like the ones I’ve been pointing out.

Enough about webs and stuff!  In the first part of this chapter, I wanted to show how much effort Ruby put into training and how far she’d progressed after her injury.  In the second part of this chapter, I wanted to show how her relationship with Blake has changed since those early days.

Another connection to point out here!  It has nothing to do with the story, but I like it a lot anyway.  In this chapter, Yang is teaching Blake how to make her ‘special pancakes,’ and we see that Blake’s having some difficulty with it.  However...back in Chapter 12, Blake is making the pancakes by herself in the morning (before she spars Ruby and loses doesn’t win).

Like I said, no impact on the story, but it’s character growth regardless!  Blake’s pancake-making skills have increased - huzzah! 

I think it’s super cute how Yang uses Ruby’s injury to her advantage and convinces Blake to keep trying to make the pancakes so as not to set a bad example for Ruby.  I like to imagine this type of situation happened often - where Blake or Yang weren’t allowed to quit anything lest they set a bad example for Ruby.

It might be a joke, but there’s a serious undertone to it.  What Ruby’s going through at the moment is exceptionally hard, and neither Yang nor Blake want to give her any reason why she should give up.  If that means they have to keep failing at making pancakes, or trying to remove the impossible-to-remove scuff marks from inside the door, or eat an entire cake by themselves after they swore they could, they can’t stop or give up - because Ruby can’t stop or give up.  Therefore...Blake has to keep trying to make pancakes.  And she eventually becomes good at it, just like Ruby eventually makes it back to going on hunts.

I actually didn’t really think about the meaning behind that statement until right now (you’ve probably noticed that I do this often).  I added Yang’s line as a joke, but apparently it was much more symbolic than I thought 

Also, Yang is passing another torch in this chapter - the pancake-making torch!  She sure has a lot of torches, doesn’t she?  One for pancakes, one for getting all the ladies...who knows what others she might have.

Ok, so we see some of the rigorous training Ruby put herself through to get back to where she is in present day. We also get to see some of what Blake talked about in the previous chapter - how she had to start over too, which meant Ruby no longer knew one of her secrets.

Yang serves as the spiller of secrets, by mistake.  I thought that bringing up the White Fang again would be a great way to show how Ruby processes and reacts to surprises during ths point in her recovery.  One of the most important takeaways might be her mindset towards it - summed up in one line: 

“The past is the past, Blake.  I can’t even remember mine - how could I be upset at you for yours?”

Ah Ruby...such a pure soul…

Her outlook on life is really upbeat and encouraging.  Writing her character makes me want to be more like her.  She spouts wisdom without even realizing it, and she’s just a...good person.

This chapter was originally going to be the exact memory Blake referenced in the previous chapter - when she and Yang told Ruby that Blake was one of their teammates.  I’d planned the scene out in my mind, too.  They would sit Ruby down on the sofa and Yang would stumble through a disjointed explanation that Ruby takes in stride.

I nixed that scene because Blake already told us the gist of it and the outcome.  While it would’ve been great to write out, I think you can picture enough of what happened from what she said and what we know about Ruby.  So, I replaced that idea with another - the single kernel of an idea that was the starting point of this chapter.

The ring.  

I decided instead of the conversation about being teammates, I needed to show how Ruby felt about the ring.  The rest of the chapter was dreamt up to serve other purposes in furthering the story, but the starting point was centered around the ring.  I figured that one of the questions people would want answered was why Ruby never asked who gave her the ring.  (If you read one of my commentaries about...Boundless, I think it was, I talked about anticipating and answering the biggest, most important questions in a story.)

I knew at some point I’d have to answer the question - why doesn’t Ruby ask about the ring?

The answer is...she did ask.  She did want to know.  And then she decided that she didn’t want to go down that road.

Well, why not?  What’s so bad about figuring out answers?

What if the answer was that the ring wasn’t special at all?  What if the answer was that it didn’t symbolize anything?

This is your answer.  

At this point in her recovery, Ruby needs help and support.  She wants to believe that this ring is special because it feels special.  She’s unwilling to give that up for the truth because she knows that the truth might not be as special.

Have you ever had something that you built up in your mind, only to be disappointed by the real thing?  That’s the feeling I was going for here, as it seemed like a very legitimate reason why Ruby would shy away from knowing the truth.  The last thing she needs is to destroy the mystique surrounding her lucky charm - not when she still needs all the help she can get.

In present day, now that’s she’s back to her normal self, however...things may have changed.

One more thing to point out!  At this point, Ruby doesn’t know that Blake was one of her teammates.  How do we know (or assume) this?  Because when Ruby asks how Blake knows she has the determination and work ethic to make it back, Blake responds with: “Because...you just seem like that type of person.”  Not with: “Because I’ve seen you do it before” or something along those lines.

Ah, and here I thought I was done, but I just remembered another potential title for this story!  Before much of the story was written, I actually threw around the title of Theory of Angels.  It was going to be Blake’s theory that was something along the lines of believing that things that are important to us - like Ruby’s ring - were actually pieces of ‘angels’ that are meant to help them on their path in life.

Ruby was going to ask if Blake had any of these pieces of angels, and Blake was going to reply, “Well, Gambol is one...and your sister is another.”

Ultimately, I didn’t write the rest of the story that way, so the title didn’t fit in the end.  I guess that’s why we have ‘working titles’ though, because it’s really hard to tell what will fit the entire story when you’re in the midst of writing it.  Eternity also fit the story pretty well, I think, but ultimately I wanted a title that applied less to Ruby and Weiss’ relationship and more to how they grew as people from this situation.  

I think that’s all I have for now, but I appreciate all of you so much!!  As always, feel free to message me if you have any other questions.  Seriously, I won’t mind at all!  

Until next time, 

Miko