What Defines Us - Commentary - Ch. 33-34 (Patreon)

More chapters - more commentary!  I have a feeling this one might be a little lopsided because I have much more to say about Chapter 33 than 34 (at least, I think I do…).  To me though, the previous two chapters (31-32) were the most anticipated of the present timeline.  Chapter 33, however, was the most anticipated of the past.  

By now, you know that Chapter 33 is where we finally see what happened to Ruby.  Leading up to this moment, there were a lot of hints and small comments, but this is the real deal, first-hand account.  

When this story was in its infancy (i.e. when I thought it’d be like...12 chapters…), I didn’t plan to show what happened to Ruby.  It would remain this moment that was discussed but not witnessed by the reader.  I wanted to keep it a bit of a mystery that you'd have to piece together  through the information that was provided.

As the story grew longer, however, I realized that I needed to have it as its own chapter.  Or maybe I decided that I wanted to have it as its own chapter.  When I’m writing, I’m creating backstory along the way - past and future that line up with the plot I’m trying to create.  With such a long story, it was impossible for me not to imagine such an important moment in their past.  And the instant I started imagining it, it expanded (like that balled up paper I talked about last commentary).  

Pretty soon, I had this point in time solidified in my mind, and I wanted to show it to everyone.  I figured that there were questions about how Ruby was injured, and this would answer those questions better than any conversation I could write into the present timeline.

And, admittedly, I might be just a little cruel with my placement of this chapter.  I think it fits right where I put it, but I won’t lie and say that I didn’t think about how it would feel to go from Ruby’s triumph at The Beacon Invite to her injury from a year prior.  I also felt like there haven’t been many sad moments recently, so I just...kinda wanted to remind everyone that I can write sad stuff too.  That probably makes me sound super sadistic, but...well, I never claimed otherwise. :P

One of the best parts to come out of this chapter, however, was the beginning.  Before the action starts, we get to see how close Team RWBY was before it all fell apart.  And I tried to pack a ton of information in here that answers some lingering questions.

Like one - Weiss and Ruby are absolutely adorable together.  

Two - they were engaged and in the midst of planning their wedding when Ruby’s injury happened.  This is one point I’m a little pleased at having not answered for so long.  I know a lot of people just assumed they were engaged, and a lot of people assumed they were married.  Ultimately, it probably doesn’t matter too much, but I thought that them being close to their wedding but not officially married was a bit more painful.  So of course that’s the choice I made for them.

On this point, we find a connection to another flashback - Chapter 15, the one where Weiss is at Schnee Dust and Winter tricked/coerced her into speaking to a therapist.  In that chapter, Winter came back early from a trip because she thought that Weiss would need someone to speak to - especially on that specific day, which was the 27th.

Back to Chapter 33, Yang makes a comment about the ‘all-important two-seven approaching.’  What Yang’s doing here is giving us the date of the wedding - the 27th.  With this information, we now know that Chapter 15 actually took place on the day Ruby and Weiss were supposed to be married.  That’s why Winter flew back to be with Weiss, and that’s why Weiss is basically inconsolable at that point in time.

What’s funny is that I didn’t link these two chapters until late in the editing process.  Winter mentioned that the day was special, but never gave a reason why.  Yang mentioned the wedding, but never gave a date.  It ended up being easy to add that connection later on - just a few lines about the date!  A small thing, but I like to think it amplified the significance of Chapter 15.  Some people might even go back and re-read that chapter with a new lens.

Then we learn that the 27th is even more important than originally thought, from another offhand comment Yang makes:

“Mom will love celebrating her birthday with you guys.”

So, not only where Weiss and Ruby on the cusp of being married, but they’d chosen Summer Rose’s birthday as the date of their wedding.  I think that was really sweet of them to do, and I like to imagine that it was Weiss’ suggestion - because she knows how important Summer is to Ruby.

One of the other questions answered in the beginning of this chapter has to do with Bumblebee.  Mainly...why aren’t they married yet?  Blake already mentioned in an earlier chapter (Chapter 11) that she felt like it just wasn’t the right time.  Now we know that Yang was actually planning to propose but was waiting for Weiss and Ruby to get married first.

I think that totally fits Yang’s personality.  She doesn’t want to steal any of their thunder.  But with how everything falls apart on this day...it means that those plans got put on an indefinite hold.

And Blake has one of the sweetest lines in the story, which I just want to point out again because I love it so much.

“She doesn’t even need to ask.  She already knows my answer.”

So cute...I wish things had worked out differently…(I realize it’s my fault, but even I’m allowed to have regrets!)  There’s another small connection here - to Chapter 20, the one where Ruby and Weiss are talking before Ruby passes out.  In that chapter, Ruby says that she knows Yang made sacrifices to help her get back on her feet.  Well...now we know what Yang gave up - proposing to Blake, getting married and moving their relationship forward.

This chapter also alludes to the supersonic speed Ruby’s discovered - the one she uses on her first hunt back and during the final round of The Invite.  I added this information because I didn’t want it to seem like that ‘power’ or ability was completely new.  It’s not entirely new, but it’s something Ruby had only just discovered before her injury.  Weiss puts it best: 

It was a new skill and, as with any new skill, Ruby had been devoting hours upon hours to perfecting it.  But she’d been having some difficulty - as she tried to explain to Weiss, it was only possible to do if she let go of several learned habits and constraints.  After years and years of focused training, many of those habits weren’t so easy to circumvent, but she was trying regardless.

I thought I’d get more pushback about Ruby’s ability than I have (thank god).  But I added this information to explain my reasoning: Ruby has always been able to access that level of speed, but it goes against some of her ingrained habits.  

Think about some of the habits you have that you do without even realizing it - like locking the door on the way out.  It’s such a habit that sometimes you can’t even remember that you’ve done it, right?  And then you have to walk back to check, only to find that you had locked it, after all.

Once we’ve trained ourselves into something, it can be difficult to train ourselves out.  In this chapter, Ruby’s trying to train herself to access this new ability.  But it’s easier for her to do in the present timeline - why?  Well, because she got injured.  She lost her training at Beacon and, with it, the ingrained habits she was fighting against.

Sometimes (like right now), I wonder if any of these tiny details even matter.  Some people probably don’t notice or care about stuff like that...but I guess I like figuring everything and making it seem a little more plausible.

Quail egg!  I have a partially written White Rose story that will probably never be finished, but the title of it is Star Crossed.  When Yang talks about her speech for the wedding, she says she’s trying to paint Ruby and Weiss as star-crossed lovers.

Another thing I’d like to point out - Yang rustles Weiss’ hair!  This is another small thing that probably isn’t significant, but it’s something Yang’s only done to Ruby so far - except for in the flashback chapters (she also rustles Weiss' hair in Chapter 7).  I used this small gesture to symbolize closeness with Yang.  In the past, she and Weiss were as close as sisters - which Yang displays by her willingness to rustle Weiss’ hair.  In the present...well, they’re not there yet.

Alright, now we’re out of the cute Team RWBY part and getting into the action.

The scenario of a hive hidden in a cave in the side of a mountain is from Retribution - a Bumblebee story I wrote where Blake also sneaks into a cave filled with Death Stalkers.  And honestly...now I can’t remember which story I wrote first.  Either this chapter is a reference to Retribution, or Retribution is a reference to WDU… (Because I write multiple stories at once and only post one at a time, I tend to have some convoluted writing timelines…)  But yes!  If you thought the situation felt familiar, it was  supposed to!  At least, that very first moment was supposed to.

Another contrast this chapter offered between past and present is in Ruby’s leadership.  I loved showing Team Leader Ruby at her best.  She’s confident.  She’s in charge.  She makes decisions without hesitation.  Compare that to the first hunt (Chapter 18) where Yang keeps asking Ruby questions to try to get her back into that mode.  Besides her fighting ability, Ruby lost that confidence, which she’ll now need to build back up.  But we’ve seen the way she trains - I’m sure it won’t take her long at all to get some of that confidence back!

In the original version of this chapter, the battle stayed at the cave/underground river.  Team RWBY stood their ground and fought while the earth collapsed around them.  It was actually the ground falling away that made a Death Stalker wildly flail and catch Ruby by the arm.

But I decided that I needed to make the fight a little more intense and action-packed.  This was Team RWBY, after all - I needed to throw something at them that was actually hard to handle.  So, I had them run deeper into the forest to draw the fight away from the city.  Then I threw in Ursa.  And some Beowolves for good measure.  Now we had a fight.

The howler returns in this chapter - like the one from Chapter 1 that Weiss didn’t silence.  This time, however, Ruby races off to find it.  

Also, notice how much stamina Weiss has with Ronnie versus other parts of this story.  It still drains her to keep him around, but she’s nowhere near as exhausted as she’s exhibited in other fights.  But, she also mentioned that they were going on daily hunts at this point in time, so that would explain why.

The end of this chapter is a jumble of action, and I wrote it in a slightly different way.  Normally, I try to describe what’s happening so people can see it clearly.  In this case, however, it's so hectic that Weiss doesn’t really know what’s going on.  If she doesn’t know what’s going on, how could we?  I tried to create a more rushed/panicked feeling by using some shorter sentences and less description.  

And when they get into the airship, Weiss’ attention is so solely focused on Ruby that we don’t even know who’s saying what before they leave.  Here’s who I imagine saying each line though:

“SSSN’s here in twenty seconds.  You guys clean up and I’ll get them to help.” - Jaune  (Team Leader Jaune, even!)

“I can stay -” - Blake

“No, stay with her.  We’ll be fine.” - Pyrrha

The LOTT gel Jaune uses is from Chapter 1, too!  Supposed to help with clotting or something.  Don’t look at me - I’m not a doctor.

I hope I’m not the only one crying that Ruby’s last words to Weiss are ‘it’s ok.’  It’s almost as if Ruby knows that Weiss will blame herself - which she does, but not right away.  At the end of this chapter, she’s shocked and confused but doesn’t really understand what happened.  It’s only after the turmoil slows to a simmer that she starts blaming herself.  

This entire time, we knew Weiss blamed herself for what happened to Ruby - did you expect to see something that was far more...clear cut?  Something Weiss obviously did wrong?  A really blatant mistake?

This is one of the biggest points of the story - that it wasn’t Weiss’ fault.  As Ruby says in the next chapter, they all knew the risks of being out there.  It wasn’t as if Weiss made some egregious error that got Ruby hurt.  Not at all.  The entire hunt became a mess, and luck wasn’t on their side.

We’ve probably all experienced moments where we blame ourselves for things that weren’t within our control.  But if we see a connection - no matter how small - we put ourselves at fault.  Weiss’ situation is a bit of an extreme version of this, but it was really important to me that she never be completely at fault for what happened to Ruby.  At parts in this story, you’ve probably thought that Weiss was too hard on herself.  After learning what actually happened, you’re probably convinced that she was way too hard on herself.  Well, sometimes we’re too hard on ourselves too.  It’s really hard to see in the moment, though.

Moving on to Chapter 34, we get to see the end of The Invite through Ruby’s (fairly excited) eyes.  I did my best to make it feel...a little spazzy?  Like, Ruby is super excited about finishing all five rounds, but then remembers that kind of big bombshell - but then is also excited!  But then that whole Weiss thing.

Meanwhile, I imagine Weiss to be a bit like me in that she withdraws from the situation while internally figuring things out.  Her dialogue with herself is probably along the lines of, “What did you do?  Why did you do that?  What does Ruby think now?  Is she looking at me?  Does she look upset?  What can I say?  Is she looking at me again?”

The silence, however, makes Ruby feel awkward.  She tries to make things not awkward by talking, but Weiss can’t figure out what to say - which only makes it more awkward!  Eventually, Ruby starts to worry, and Weiss decides she needs to escape for a bit.

Did you notice that when Ruby asks if Weiss is ok, she answers with ‘fine’ again?  Throughout the story, she uses ‘fine’ when she’s not at all fine.  By now, I hope the word has become something you immediately notice, because it gives us a glimpse at her emotional state.  With one word, we know that she’s going through turmoil.

However, by this point in the story, Ruby has a good sense of how Weiss is feeling.  Don’t forget - they’re actually really close by now.  Plus, Ruby’s always seemed to have a weird intuition when it comes to Weiss, hasn’t she?

Even though things were super awkward, she was a little worried about how quiet Weiss had been before she left.  She wouldn’t have gone home or something without saying goodbye, right?  Because Ruby still wanted to talk!  

In the background of this chapter, Weiss did think about leaving when she went to the concession stands.  While she stood in the long line waiting for her turn to order, she considered going home and sending them a message that she didn’t feel well.  That way, she could escape the awkwardness between her and Ruby.

But she doesn’t leave.  The closer she gets to the front of the line, the more her attention shifts to how hungry Ruby (and all her teammates) must be.  She’s not hungry, of course, because her stomach is too busy rolling with nerves, but she knows how much Ruby can eat.  She doesn’t want Ruby to be hungry...so she orders food and walks back into the stadium.

That’s right.  Weiss didn’t leave because she wanted to make sure Ruby was well-fed.  But it means more than just that - it means she didn’t leave because she wanted to make sure Ruby was taken care of.  And Weiss was going to be the one to take care of her.

I’d like to pause for a quick moment and point out that Yang licked Blake’s hand so that she’d uncover Yang’s mouth.  Yang Xiao Long - not above acting like a child when necessary.

Also, did you notice this sentence?  

After a brief delay - during which several white tiles were replaced in the arena floor - the next team began round one.

I added this sentence because in Chapter 32, Team RWBY destroyed a few tiles when the arena spun.  If you remember, Yang was punching through them so she wouldn’t fly off.  Without this (delayed) explanation, one could imagine the last team would have to work with an arena filled with holes.  Would that be a competitive advantage or not?  I think probably not...that’d be a lot of holes to potentially trip over.

Next, we get to Team CFVY and their victory.  (For the longest time, I couldn’t get their team name right.  I spelled it CVFY and...really, that still looks right to me.)

In round five, the javelin Velvet uses is a nod to Pyrrha.  The other weapons I made up - I don’t know if anyone in the show uses them or not.

When I initially dreamed up The Invite, I thought that RWBY would win.  How great would that be?  Ruby’s starting to fight again, and they win this huge tournament?

How great, but also...how unrealistic?  Ruby’s just figured out her hand issues with Thorn.  They haven’t practiced together once.  The hunt they went on was kind of a mess.  At this point in time, they’re basically fighting as individuals who sometimes help each other out (with the exception of Blake and Yang, who are obviously still very capable partners).

Over time, I embraced the idea that they finish all five rounds - thereby being ‘successful’ - but don’t win.  This was the more realistic outcome, plus, by not winning, they have something to look forward to and something to work towards.  Like Ruby says - they’ll be better next year.  

When I read this chapter the other night, I actually burst out laughing at what might be one of my favorite similes:

CFVY was fast because they were coordinated, like a really fancy color scheme.

I love similes and metaphors.  Both are extremely useful in helping the reader understand on a better/more relatable level. 

When I started proofreading (two days ago), I realized that this chapter probably should’ve been split into two - one for the end of The Invite and another for the ride home.  The perfectionist in me was pretty upset about that, but that’s part of the process of learning.  That’s something I’ll look out for in the future, but I let it go for this story.  It can always be better.  Believe me, if I tried to make things perfect, you’d never read anything because I’d still be working on my very first story!  Make it as good as you can, learn from it, try it again - that’s how I try to write.

So we have two scenes together and will just have to deal with it.  

Once they head home, the excitement/commotion start to fade and then Ruby’s mind starts spinning again.  She needs a distraction, dammit!  And Weiss is still doing her best statue imitation.

Thank god for Blake, though.  Seriously - nothing happens in this story without Blake.  Yang slams the door in Weiss’ face, and that’s that.  This time, Blake invites Weiss over, thus paving the way for Ruby and Weiss to finally talk about that big, bad Ursa in the room.

I hope I was able to capture Ruby’s thought process in this chapter, because I know some people expected her to be mad or angry about the news - just like Weiss did.  Honestly, I never even considered that Ruby would be mad.  Why would she be mad?  Why would she be upset that Weiss didn’t march in and announce herself as Ruby’s partner when they didn’t even know each other?  Plus, I just don’t think it’s Ruby’s personality.  Throughout this story, she’s been very understanding of what happened to her and the choices that were made to help her recover.  Why would she suddenly throw away all that understanding and flip out?

From what I’ve seen in the show, Ruby’s incredibly resilient (maybe a little too much in canon, but we won’t get into that).  And in this story, her concerns are usually for other people rather than herself.  She immediately understands how greatly her injury impacted Weiss.  And she grasps something that I think we all struggle with these days - that physical wounds aren’t the only ones that need time to heal.  That Weiss was also hurt that day, but in ways that are invisible and longer-lasting.

Ruby’s response is to make Weiss feel better, and I loved that the most logical questions she asked (how they met, how they became partners) had pretty bad answers from the show.  I think we can all feel the tension lift as they finally start talking though, right?  Like...what a relief.  The past is finally out in the open and everything is ok.  They can still talk, laugh, and spend time together.

One of my favorite moments in this story (I have a lot of them), is the end of this chapter.  No, not the forehead kiss (although that was super cute), but Ruby’s realization that...maybe there are things more important to her than being a huntress.  She’s spent her entire life chasing that goal, yet she's willing to give it all up for another person - for that person to be happy and free of guilt.

In my eyes, this is a growing up moment for Ruby.  She can still follow her dream of becoming a huntress, but maybe the reason to become a huntress isn’t simply to follow in her mother’s footsteps.  Maybe her reason for becoming a huntress is to protect and take care of the people she loves. 

They’re both growing up, and I’m so proud!  Now that The Beacon Invite is over, we’re entering the last quarter of our story.  I’m excited for what comes next, and I hope you are too!

Until next time,

Miko